Torn

By A.F. Crowell

FOREVER

For ER nurse Leila Matthews, life has never been easy. Her father turned his back on their family and her mother died young. Her cop brother’s near fatal gunshot wound brought Brody Davis into her life, the handsome CEO who promised her the world but left her pregnant with his child. Enter Jaxon Henderson, the sexy-as-sin VP of the local MC. Friend first, he has become the great love of her life. Tall, handsome, golden, his passion is matched only by his possessive and protective nature. But Jaxon has dark secrets, and his deception tests Leila’s love to its core.

Jaxon Henderson knows three things: He loves Leila Matthews more than anything, he's lied to her, and he’s sworn to secrecy about the danger and violence that gathers on the horizon. To keep Leila safe, he must tell her all, but full disclosure has a price, and that price may just be everything.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Boroughs Publishing Group
• Release date: Nov 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781944262006

Book preview

Chapter One

Leila

At thirty-four weeks pregnant, dancing to the oldies was not on the menu. Neither was sitting at Brody’s dining room table crying my heart out. Right after blasting Funkytown, the DJ on WXLY said, Now here’s a problem, then played "Torn Between Two Lovers." Like I needed to hear that shit.

I’d spent the day contemplating how to tell Brody – my baby’s father – what I was thinking, and where things stood with my fiancé, Jaxon. Yeah, my MC VP and I had a lot of outstanding issues, but it had come time to make a decision. Brody kissing me the night before did nothing to give me clarity. I had been doing a decent job of organizing my discussion strategy when the damned song came on and sent me into a tailspin.

When I was not a blubbering mess, I had spent the afternoon in the kitchen making dinner. By the time Brody came home, I’d pulled myself together – mostly.

He stood before me, probably thinking my hormones got the better of me - once again - when he asked, What’s up, Lei? We could’ve gone to dinner. You really didn’t have to cook…but thank you. He walked over and kissed the top of my head. How was your day?

Uh, fine, I guess. I smiled halfheartedly, lost in my own head.

Well, it looks delicious.

We ate mostly in silence as I screwed up my courage to say what needed saying. We need to talk, Brody. I looked down so I wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. The fork he was holding made a loud clank as he dropped it to the plate.

Yeah, we do. He sighed. Listen, I know things are complicated and I’m making them worse. I wish, for your sake, I could tell you that I was drunk last night and that I didn’t mean to kiss you…. I guess I had hoped it would be the beginning of us getting back together.

Just as I opened my mouth to respond, my cell started ringing. My BFF Barb. I hit ignore.

Brody raised an eyebrow.

Barb. I waved my hand in the air. I’ll call her back later. Then placed the phone on the table. So last night—

My phone started ringing again. I glanced over. Huh. Barb again.

Answer it. Maybe something’s wrong.

Hey, Barb, I’m with Brody. Can I call you in a little—

Leila, honey, where are you? She sounded frantic.

I’m at Brody’s. What’s wrong? Suddenly, I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I need you to come to the ER now. Can you get Brody to drive you?

What the hell’s going on? My eyes widened as fear tore through my chest and crept up my throat.

I’ll explain when you get here. Barb stalled. I don’t want you freaking out on the way. It’s not good for the baby.

No way. What in the fuck is going on? I’m not moving until you tell me what’s wrong. What happened? Full-blown panic had set in. Worst-case scenarios ran through my head in rapid-fire succession.

Brody grabbed the phone out of my hand. Barb, it’s Brody. What is going on? Leila is white as a sheet.

I tried to grab the phone back, but he stood and began pacing the room. Hearing nothing but watching his face turn into a mask of stone, I felt the blood drain from my head.

Fuck. Okay, we’re on our way. He hung up, stopped in front of me, crouched down on one knee, but looked down at the hardwood floor. Finally, he lifted his eyes to mine.

What’s wrong? The words were half stuck in my throat.

He clasped my hands between his. I’ll explain on the way. You need to grab your purse and use the bathroom. Just please try and stay calm, okay?

Just tell me, I whispered. I knew someone I loved was dead.

He stood and walked to the doorway. We’re wasting time. Go to the bathroom, I’ll grab your purse and my phone, and I’ll meet you in the garage.

Typical Brody, he walked away, not giving me a whole lot of choice but to do as he directed. When I met him in the garage, he had already started the Viper and had the garage door opened. Without a word, he helped me in the car and we took off.

Start talking, Brody, I demanded. You said you’d explain on the way.

Staring straight ahead, Brody finally spoke. What I’m about to say is going to be hard to hear, baby. You need to stay calm and think about our daughter, okay?

Brody, please. Tears pricked my eyes.

Promise me. I need you to stay calm and be the ER nurse right now. He glanced over as we pulled onto the main road.

Okay, okay. I promise. Now what’s happened? Is it my brother? I gripped the side of my seat.

No. Drew is fine… He hesitated. It’s Jaxon.

For a moment I couldn’t process what I heard. What? What happened? Why is he in the ER?

I don’t know anything more than there was an incident with the motorcycle gang—

Club, I interrupted, correcting him.

What? He looked from the road to me for a split second.

It’s a motorcycle club. Not a gang. They’re mostly military vets, Brody, not thugs.

Okay. Whatever. Something went down and Jaxon was in the middle of it. Drew is on his way to the ER. Barb said he’d meet us there. Brody eased onto the expressway and let the Henny do what she did best. She rolled.

Brody dropped me off at the ER entrance and Terri, a tech, came running out but didn’t recognize me.

Ma’am, let me get you a wheelchair. She ran toward the row of wheelchairs and hollered back, How far apart are the contractions?

I’m not in labor, I don’t need a wheelchair. Terri, it’s me, Leila. I walked through the doors with her following.

Oh, hey girl. Whatcha doin’ here?

My fiancé was just brought in. Barb called. Can you buzz me through? I started toward the back. Oh, and my, uh, my friend will be here in a minute. Can you send him to the waiting room? Tell him I will be out in a few minutes, once I find out what’s going on.

Sure thing, honey. Barb’s in trauma three with the patient. Terri slid her badge on the keypad, allowing us to slip through the secured door.

Thanks. I rushed to the back in search of Jaxon.

I rounded the corner and saw the MC’s Sergeant at Arms, Viper, standing in the hallway, his cut on full display. He was a beast of a man, standing about six feet six inches and built like a brick house. He looked over as I wobbled down the hall toward him.

Viper, what happened?

I don’t know, it all went to shit so fast. I don’t know what the fuck happened. He ran his large palm over his face.

How was he hurt? Nobody will tell me anything. I looked toward the drawn curtains. I could see a flurry of activity under the pale blue sheet.

What? Barb didn’t tell you? He looked shocked. Babe, Remi got shot twice in the chest.

I heard the words, but it took several long moments for them to settle in and for me to fully understand their meaning. They washed over me like a rip current, pulling me under. I gasped for air, fighting to catch my breath as the shock took hold.

Oh my God. I grabbed at the wall, turning so my back was against it. Viper ran over and hooked his arms under me.

Whoa, babe. Lei, take a deep breath. Don’t pass the fuck out on me. He held me up and looked around for help. Barb, he yelled.

The curtain flew open and I could see the team working on Jaxon. Barb rushed out and cinched the curtains back together, cutting off my view. I knew I was just about to pass out. Everything started to get fuzzy. I could hear Barb talking to me, but she sounded so far away, almost as if I was hearing her from under water.

Lei, you need to slow your breathing down. Lei, look at me. Shit, Barb’s voice echoed.

I tried taking deep breaths as Viper lifted me off my feet. The last thing I could see was Drew and Brody running toward us. Before they could reach me, the blackness swallowed me whole and pulled me under.

Chapter Two

Brody

I rushed into the emergency room looking for Leila, only to be told she was in the back and I needed to have a seat in the waiting room.

Grabbing my cell from my pocket, I called Drew. He answered on the second ring. How far out are you?

Pulling up now.

Turning, I saw his black unmarked Tahoe fly into one of the parking spaces reserved for police vehicles. Waiting for him just inside the doors, I tucked my phone back in my pants pocket as he rushed through the doors and straight up to the registration desk, flashing his NCPD badge.

I’m looking for Jaxon Henderson. He would’ve been brought in about forty-five minutes ago.

He’s in trauma room three, but—

Let’s go. Drew nodded for me to follow him. Looking back to the young lady, he said, Buzz me in please. My sister’s an RN here and the patient’s fiancé. She’s already back there.

The door buzzed. Go ahead back. Do you know where you’re going?

Yeah, we’re good. Drew walked past the desk, pulling the door open, and looked back at me. Let’s go.

I followed as Drew weaved around nurses and stretchers toward where I hoped to find Leila. As we rounded the corner to the trauma corridor, I heard a deep gruff voice yelling Barb’s name. Looking down the hallway, everything slowed down to a crawl. Barb was rushing to Jaxon’s friend, who had just caught Leila as she collapsed.

Lei. Shouldering past Drew, I sprinted to her. Barb, what happened? I took Leila from the arms of the long-haired, burly man.

I need a stretcher over here now, Drew shouted back up the corridor toward the nurses’ station.

Cole just told her about Jaxon, she hyperventilated and passed out, Barb explained as a nurse ran a bed over to us. After setting Leila down on the bed, Barb steered the gurney into an empty cubicle.

Turning to Cole, I said, Don’t you think it would have been a good idea to wait until someone was with her to tell her?

How the fuck was I supposed to know she’d pass the fuck out? Cole bowed up.

She’s thirty-four weeks pregnant you ass—

Stop. Both of you need to relax, this isn’t helping, Barb chastised us. Cole, can you please go wait out by Jaxon’s room?

Yeah. He glared at me then slowly turned and left the room.

Drew reached over and clamped his hand down on my shoulder. I’m gonna go find out what the hell happened. Text if she wakes up before I get back.

I nodded, then watched as Barb connected Leila to a hell of a lot of monitors. How is she?

I’m sure she’s fine, I just wanna be certain. A machine beeped. Her BP is a little high.

I knew I shouldn’t have let her come back here by herself. Silently, I cursed myself as I sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"When have you known Leila to let anyone tell her what to do? Barb chuckled and then added, as if she could read my mind, Besides Drew. He doesn’t count."

In that case, never. I watched Leila’s round abdomen move slightly. Leaning forward, I placed my hand over the thumping and whispered, I hope you’re going to be just as strong-willed as your mother.

Barb finished attaching the wires to the computer as I sat and watched. Leila had to be okay. I kept replaying the nightmare I had a few weeks ago when she was in the hospital and I thought I would lose her and our daughter.

No. Leila would be fine. There was no way she was going to die and leave me alone to raise our daughter. She was the toughest woman I knew. She would be fine.

Repeating that to myself over the next five minutes, I listened to the whooshing of my little baby’s heart beating, fast and strong.

Barb walked to the curtain and pulled it back. I’m gonna run and check on Jaxon. I want to make sure someone has called his parents.

Aren’t they in Greenville? How are they going to get here?

I guess they’ll have to drive, Barb replied.

Pulling out my phone, I sent off a text to my pilot, Charles.

Call them from your cell, see if they have left yet. I’m making arrangements to get them here. As she left, I looked down to my cell at the incoming text from Charles. He had a few friends who lived in the Greenville area that may have access to a private jet. He was waiting for a response.

Barb came back into the room on the phone and mouthed, The Hendersons, as she continued to update them. Brody is working on arrangements as we speak. We didn’t think it would be a good idea for you to drive that distance right now.

My phone buzzed with a text from Charles.

Will hv plane ready n 10 Greenville Jet Ctr ask for Geoff

Handing her my phone, Barb relayed the information to Jaxon’s parents then said, I think he’s just doing a nice thing, Mrs. Henderson. I don’t think there is any ulterior motive here. Barb looked at me and I saw her sincerity. He can actually be a great guy when he tries. Okay, I will stay in touch. See you soon.

I’ll call the car service and have someone waiting for them when they land. Reaching out and plucking my phone from her hands, I sat back down by Leila’s bedside.

I’m gonna run down to the nurses’ station and try to get an update on Jaxon and see if I can find Cole, Barb said, slipping her cell into the front pocket of her scrub top.

Wait. I stood and moved to her. When is Leila going to regain consciousness? It’s already been more than ten minutes.

Brody, I don’t know. I don’t know what to tell you. She’s exhausted, stressed, and pregnant. It could be a few minutes or a few hours. Just stay here—

Barb, where’s Jaxon? Leila’s voice rang out, full of panic.

*****

Leila

I could hear Brody and Barb talking as I slowly blinked my lids open. Allowing my eyes to adjust to the bright lights, I scanned the room. I was in an ER room. What the—? Immediately, my hands sought out my belly, making sure my baby girl was okay. As if on cue, she gave me a little thump. I felt the TOCO monitors then I saw Barb and Brody hovering around the curtain near the foot of the bed. It took me a moment to figure out what was going on.

Great…this shit again. Then it all came rushing back.

Jaxon. Shot twice.

I sat straight up. Barb, where’s Jaxon?

Brody rushed over and grabbed my hand. Jesus Christ, Leila, you’re finally awake. Don’t ever do that to me again. You scared the shit out of me.

I looked at Brody and saw pure terror in his eyes. I’m sorry, but I’m fine, really. I just passed out, couldn’t catch my breath. I hyperventilated. No big deal. Right.

Setting my sights on Barb, who had on fresh scrubs, I asked, What’s happening, Barb? Talk to me, please.

They’re workin’ on him and you know that’s all I can tell you. I’ve called his parents, they are on their way down from Greenville. She gave me a sympathetic smile. Brody is makin’ sure they get here quickly.

Just tell me, is it bad? I looked into her eyes because I knew her face as well as I knew my own.

When she looked at me, it was like a cover to a book. She immediately looked away, her eyes glassy.

Barb never cried. I mean never. This was really bad.

Who’s in with him? Please tell me it’s Drake, I said, fighting the tears back as I pulled the monitors off and reached over to drop the side rail.

Whoa, honey, you need to lie down. You’ve gotta relax and think about our daughter right now. Your blood pressure was through the roof and Barb said you’re having contractions again. Brody yanked the side rail back up and shot daggers.

When Jaxon’s parents get here I’ll have them give the hospital permission to talk to you. Barb strapped the TOCOs back on and reconnected the rest of the monitors. ’Til then you’re stayin’ in this bed, otherwise, we’re moving you up to Land D. You feel me?

Glaring, I kept my eyes on her. Yeah, I feel you, I said begrudgingly as I slowly turned my attention to Brody. "Now what’s all this about you getting them here?"

I called in some favors, that’s all.

Favors? To do what, Brody? Just spit it out. I didn’t feel like playing these games right now.

I called my pilot and he called some friends. He arranged for a private plane to pick up Jaxon’s parents in Greenville and to fly them here. A car service will be waiting for them at the airstrip. They should be here in about forty-five minutes. He reached out and rubbed my belly. How’s she doing in there?

I can’t believe you did that for him. It came out as more of a whisper than I intended.

I’m not that selfless, Leila. I didn’t do it for him. He reached up and pushed a lock of curls behind my ear. I did it for you. And for her.

Thank you, Brody. Tears pooled along my lids. Where’s Drew?

He came in with me but he went to talk with the officers who found Jaxon. Brody studied my face. You okay?

I nodded even though I was the furthest thing from okay as a person could be.

He gave me a weak smile. Since it looks like we might have a little while to wait, do you want to go over some more baby names? He skimmed his fingers over my belly, then took out his phone. I just have to text Drew real quick.

Sure, I agreed, but my mind was a million miles away.

So far we haven’t agreed on one name, he told Barb with a laugh.

That’s ’cause he wants to name her stupid shit like Edna or something, I justified.

No. I never said Edna. Jesus, that’s a horrible name. I said Esme, he corrected.

Ugh, she’s not a freakin’ vampire, I scoffed.

Huh, a what? He was completely lost.

Never mind. Next name. I waved my hand in a circle, telling him to get on with it.

Okay, how about Ella? he asked.

What is it with you and all these E names? Barb questioned.

I actually like Ella. Jaxon and I put that down as a maybe a few months ago. I thought back to that night, before everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Finally, one we agree on, he smirked.

I didn’t say I was naming her that. Let’s keep going. How about Avery? I offered up.

Nah, when I think Avery I think Steve Avery from the Atlanta Braves. He stood and wrinkled his nose. Skylar?

Shaking my head, I watched him pace, rubbing his dimpled chin.

Alesandra? Or what about Elizabeth? Barb chimed in.

Brody’s head whipped over. Hmm, I like Elizabeth. What do you think about that one, Lei?

I like it, but maybe as a middle name. I don’t like Lizzy as a nickname. I don’t like Ella Elizabeth. Too many E’s. I shook my head.

I agree. Brody turned and a dragged a chair over. Okay, what about…? How about Lillian?

Hmmm. Lillian. I think I liked it. I tried to think of any awful nicknames kids could try to change it to and tease her with, but I couldn’t.

Lillian Elizabeth. I like the way it sounds. It’s a definite possibility. What else? I didn’t want to limit myself. Besides, I wanted to be able to discuss all of the names with Jaxon, once I could go see him. I was determined to remain positive.

Barb went back to work, leaving Brody and me alone. Just as I figured now was as good a time as any to tell him the real reason I made us dinner there was a knock at the door.

Leila? a tall, beautiful blonde woman in her mid-fifties asked from the doorway.

Yes, can I help you? I asked, slightly confused. There was a familiarity about her and when I saw her amazing honey-colored eyes, I knew this had to be Jaxon’s mother. She carried herself with confidence