True Humility: Finding Peace and Balance in Today’s Modern Society

By Gavin Seah

Foreword written by Jeremy Bloom, Olympic Skier, NFL Player, CEO, Philanthropist and Author. Praises by: 
✓ Colin Schooling, Director of The Schooling Company Pte Ltd and Father of Joseph Schooling, Singapore Olympic Gold Medalist
✓ Krystle Rich, Anchor at NBC Sports Philadelphia Award-Winning NFL Network Producer, and Author
✓ Torrel Harris, Chairman and CEO of Unique Sports Management International and Father of Tobias Harris, Professional NBA Player of Philadelphia 76ers
Gavin Seah's True Humility is our modern society's answer towards finding true peace and balance in one's life.
How often have you tried to seek peace through practising YOLO mindset? Or hoping for happiness in the pursuit of wanderlust? And even looking to social media to strengthen your identity? Only to find yourself in a state of constant frustration, anxiety and depression?
Like many in our modern society today, Gavin was a victim of self-focused behaviours, as he looked for happiness in the wrong areas. Battling with a past soiled by bullying, racism, and ostracisation, he opens up vulnerably with personal stories, enthralling encounters, and shares practical tips on how you can reclaim your peace and balance through the practice of True Humility. 
In this uplifting book, you're invited to learn how to:

• Discern modern society practices of self-centred behaviours

• Analyse three moral values which will shape your life 

• Find real peace through True Humility 

• Practise True Humility and create positive impact

• Attain humble characteristics through relatable characters

If you are searching in vain for your positive, happy self, this book will lead you back to the right path.

Connect with Gavin on Instagram (@thetruegavin), and Soil Of Humility on Facebook (@SoilOfHumility).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gavin Seah
• Release date: Dec 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9789811457715

Book preview

Progress

Preface

There were many paths my life could have taken, and I cannot begin to describe how thrilled and blessed I am to have found my true calling in life, which I have the honour to share with the world. The Gavin you see today, all inspiring and passionate, is a miracle. Growing up, I had a wonderful childhood surrounded by amazing relationships I still recall fondly. However, my life took a significant turn when my father’s work resulted in my family moving to Melbourne, Australia. Between the ages of 10 and 17, I attended seven schools in seven years. If you do the mathematics, on average, I attended one school per year.

The insurmountable changes I had to undergo in every school caused many scars that will take a lifetime to heal. In each of the schools I attended, I was the last kid to be picked for soccer games, the loner whom no one wanted to befriend, and the new student whom every classmate took an opportunity to belittle and ostracise. The cycle of pain and hurt that life threw at me could have beaten me down for good, like many of the young celebrities in our modern society, depressed and trapped, feeling alone in their worlds of spiralling negativity. But I am glad that I never once gave up on my sanity and humanity through the challenges of constant bullying, racism, and ostracisation, as well as the anxiety and loneliness that filled my mind and soul.

When I turned 21, life gave me a calling—one that was about to shape my entire identity, life, and purpose. Through my faith as a Christian, I discovered and learnt about the True Humility value, and it instantaneously gave me true peace and bliss. I remember buying my first-ever book on Humility by Andrew Murray. I relished every page of the book, as I recognised how every facet of my life up to that point was meant to humble and ground me. One book led to another, and soon, I had a whole shelf full of books about Humility. As I started to pay attention to how True Humility could shape my life by helping me accept that my weaknesses were as beautiful as my strengths, I could see that the paradoxes of life fit together if I had a balanced mindset and lifestyle.

In 2014, after graduating from university in Melbourne, Australia, I returned to Singapore and started my first corporate job in a Big Four accounting firm. I had spent the past few years growing my knowledge and understanding in True Humility, and finding my contentment and stability led me to become more in touch with people. I noticed that most of my friends were looking to the trends of modern society, such as the YOLO mindset, wanderlust, social media dependency, and self-focussed endeavours, in their search for happiness and contentment. Most of them soon felt jadedness and depression. As I read the news and my social media feeds, I saw increasing concerns about mental wellbeing and depression.

In 2017, I decided to be the change I wanted to see in this world. I aspired to share how True Humility transformed my life, as I wanted each one of us to have the same revelation as I did. As I set my mind to it, I knew I had to do what it takes to accomplish this dream. Through many sacrifices and hardships, and at the same time managing a demanding full-time job, I put together several pieces of research and writings, which eventually formed into a manuscript. I am really grateful to God as well as for my very supportive family and loved ones who have been there throughout the past years, supporting me, giving me pep talks and encouragement, and reminding me of my calling—to bring the True Humility value to this world. In 2020, I am delighted that this has become a reality through the help of my publisher.

In this book, I speak to you, my readers, who have been through the ups and downs of life—traumas, pains, anxieties, unhappiness, jadedness, and success in modern society. I want to lift your spirits and encourage you to invest time and energy, and put aside your worries and concerns, to strengthen your core in True Humility. With practical sharing and concepts on how you can apply True Humility in your life, I am sure that you will become a happier, more steadfast, and more composed person, far beyond your imaginations. Throughout this book, there will be many moments for you to stop and reflect on your own journey, the truths about your practice of Pride or False Humility, and also a chance to ascertain how to progressively shift your attention towards the things that matter most. As you do so, you will realise that peace and wellness are indeed a result of practising True Humility.

The study of True Humility is one that completely fascinates me, and constantly keeps me on my toes. The minute I think I have it all together, I have one foot in the memories of my terrible past and another foot in the Pride of a non-existent future. There is nothing I would do to change what I have gone through, and I am absolutely convicted that True Humility is the perfect antidote to the modern trend of self-focus.

I believe that our modern society is about to be revolutionised with a new wave of trends that you and I will become a part of. I want you to know that we are in this journey of life together, to continuously expand our horizons through the study of True Humility in our lives. I am sure this book will be the start of something awe-inspiring for you, as it was for me.

Enjoy the read!

[1]

Focussing on the Self in Modern Society

Moving Away from a Dependency Mindset

It was after dinner one evening in 2013 when my family and I made a trip down memory lane. We took out dusty, old photo albums and gathered around the dining table as we pored over them together. As we flipped through old photos of my brother and myself, I could not help but smile at those beautiful images of the carefree little boy I used to be. I saw several pictures of myself reaching out to my mother as I attempted to crawl over to her at the sofa. I saw other pictures of myself at the beach, where I giggled as my father picked me up and placed me in a pram. Those images filled me with peace as I realised that as a dependent little child, I had definitely enjoyed my everyday life. I started wanting to trade anything I had for more untroubled, happy moments in my present days, which made me think deeply: What happened to the smiley, carefree little man I once was? What took that away from me?

Those days, I could hardly settle down without finding myself caught up in a cycle of thinking about myself all the time. Questions that I asked myself frequently included: What can I do to make myself happy? What can I do to find my purpose in life? When will I find stability in my life?

In addition to perpetually worrying about my problems, my wants, my needs, and my entire perspective of life, I caught myself being rather negative, especially when I could not answer these questions successfully. It felt like the weight of my questions was slowly crushing my mind, body, and spirit.

Thankfully, it was at the dining table that I had a sudden epiphany. As I walked back to my room that evening, I realised that for many years, for as long as my memory served me, I had unknowingly put myself in a self-focussed box. The constant thinking that I was the solution to all my dilemmas created my own blind spot. Further, my stubborn insistence on solving things through my own efforts was not working. By resisting help, I was actually causing myself some setbacks in my life endeavours.

Over the rest of that evening, as I spent some time on my own, pondering my past life decisions and actions more consciously, I realised how deeply I had fallen into self-destruction. I recognised that I needed to thoroughly analyse my life to weed out any past wrong habits, beliefs, and values. Although the answer might not be straightforward or easy, I was even more determined to overcome these obstacles and succeed in my objective, that of true stillness of heart and balance in my life. I was not afraid of what laid ahead in this discovery and learning journey, and I certainly did not mind if this process took many months or a few years so long as I kept improving daily. That night in 2013 was to be the beginning of a conscious effort towards changing my life to become more restful and stable. It has been the most significant decision I have made in my life.

After years of growth and working on a moral values-based approach towards expressing restfulness and steadiness, I was able to pick up valuable lessons, which led to the development of my own personal concepts. It is my deepest pleasure to put together this book, which contains tools that have changed my perspective towards myself and ultimately, brought positive effects both for others and myself. I hope that by the end of the book, I will be able to inspire you to pick up a thing or two as you figure out the path to finding complete ease and balance in your own life.

The Journey towards True Peace and Balance Begins

As a start, I began first by reflecting on the major stages in my life, as a way to work out what led to my self-centred struggles. The more I became aware that my core identity was intrinsically connected to an interesting web of strangers, teachers, parents, friends, enemies, leaders, and mentors imparting learning points, skills, and gifts, the more it opened up my mind. I was silly to think that I was my own solution. This helped me to accept the importance of possessing a dependency mindset—such as how a child depends on others—in my life. Further, in order for me to actually understand why I did not take note of this earlier, I mused deeply about the various influences that I had picked up along the way in my life.

Child Development Stage

Growing up as a child, I, like most of us, was not very self-conscious. I did not overthink or overreact and was genuinely behaving in a manner consistent with how I thought. As any child would have done, I would imitate an adult’s action to entertain myself, show fear when separated from my parents, or cry when not fed. My dependence on my caretakers or parents was a fundamental feature of being a child. There was no sense of holding back from seeking help. Genuine emotions of sadness and joy were exhibited. The child development stage is one of the first roots of a human’s need to reach out for help, in the most innocent manner. The child thinks in a straightforward way: I need help and I am getting it now. Not later, not tomorrow, I am making it known now.

A child does not necessarily understand this sense of dependency psychologically but the instinctive approach shows the true beauty of the dependency mindset. He or she will continue to depend on others till the day the thought enters: Stop! Wait a second. Have you tried to solve things yourself first?

From that moment, the child will move towards finding independence when doing things. Gradually, the child does not go back to the instinctive approach of asking for help at the first instance of struggle. After leaving the child development stage, many of us, including myself, have failed to recognise that it is okay to ask for a helping hand.

Teenager Development Stage

I remember being more self-conscious when I was a teenager. That was when I began to build self-dependency from external influences and internalised issues. The external influences were wide and vast: what my peers were practising, social media quotes, television series displaying messages about being self-focussed, celebrities displaying acts of self-love, and idols encouraging one to be oneself. I was also greatly impacted by daily activities such as school and examinations, stress caused by bullying from classmates, family pressure to do well at school, lack of support regarding the bullying, as well as the responsibilities of a part-time job. I found myself progressively trapped in a mixture of anxiety and fear, yet tried to hold myself together through stubbornness and selfishness. This showed my pull away from a dependency mindset as I developed a self-focussed mindset. I was trying to manage all my internalised issues, and attempting to also adapt to my external influences. I would start off by being confident in my attitude, beliefs, and outcomes. But when I failed to resolve things, I would slip into a self-defeatist mindset, react anxiously, and carry a fearful outlook on life.

Adult Development Stage

Lastly, in the phase of adulthood, I can definitely attest to my total embodiment of a self-centred consciousness. I chose self-fulfilment and liberalism, and joined the selfie-focussed generation. I also had to consider various life concerns such as my career trajectory, my