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    Talks on Talking
    Talks on Talking
    Talks on Talking
    Ebook144 pages1 hour

    Talks on Talking

    By Kleiser Grenville

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateMay 1, 2007
    Talks on Talking

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      Book preview

      Talks on Talking - Kleiser Grenville

      The Project Gutenberg eBook, Talks on Talking, by Grenville Kleiser

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Talks on Talking

      Author: Grenville Kleiser

      Release Date: January 7, 2006 [eBook #17476]

      Language: English

      Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

      ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALKS ON TALKING***

      E-text prepared by Kevin Handy, Suzanne Lybarger, Martin Pettit,

      and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      (http://www.pgdp.net/)

      Talks on Talking

      By

      Grenville Kleiser

      Formerly Instructor in Public Speaking at Yale Divinity School,

      Yale University; author of How to Speak in Public,

      How to Develop Power and Personality in Speaking,

      "How to Develop Self-Confidence in

      Speech and Manner, How to Argue

      and Win, How to Read and

      Declaim, Complete

      Guide to Public

      Speaking,";

      etc.

      Copyright, 1916, by

      FUNK. & WAGNALLS COMPANY

      (printed in the United States of America)

      Published, September, 1916

      Copyright under the articles of the Copyright Convention of the Pan-American Republics and the United States, August 11, 1910

      CONTENTS

      Preface

      The Art of Talking

      Types of Talkers

      Talkers and Talking

      Phrases for Talkers

      The Speaking Voice

      How to Tell a Story

      Talking in Salesmanship

      Men and Mannerisms

      How to Speak in Public

      Practical Hints for Speakers

      The Dramatic Element in Speaking

      Conversation and Public Speaking

      A Talk to Preachers

      Care of the Speaker's Throat

      Don'ts for Public Speakers

      Do's for Public Speakers

      Points for Speakers

      The Bible on Speech

      Thoughts on Talking

      Advertisements

      PREFACE

      Good conversation implies naturalness, spontaneity, and sincerity of utterance. It is not advisable, therefore, to lay down arbitrary rules to govern talking, but it is believed that the suggestions offered here will contribute to the general elevation and improvement of daily speech.

      Considering the large number of persons who are obliged to talk in social, business, and public life, the subject of correct speech should receive more serious consideration than is usually given to it. It is earnestly hoped that this volume will be of practical value to those who are desirous of developing and improving their conversational powers.

      Appreciative thanks are expressed to the Editors of the Homiletic Review for permission to reprint some of the extracts.

      Grenville Kleiser.

      New York City,

      May, 1916.

      Boys flying kites haul in their white-wing'd birds:

      You can't do that way when you're flying words.

      Careful with fire, is good advice we know;

      Careful with words, is ten times doubly so.

      Thoughts unexpress'd may sometimes fall back dead,

      But God Himself can't kill them once they're said!

      —Will Carleton.

      The first duty of a man is to speak; that is his chief business in this world; and talk, which is the harmonious speech of two or more, is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing; it is all profit; it completes our education; it founds and fosters our friendships; and it is by talk alone that we learn our period and ourselves.

      —Robert Louis Stevenson.

      Vociferated logic kills me quite;

      A noisy man is always in the right—

      I twirl my thumbs, fall back into my chair,

      Fix on the wainscot a distressful stare;

      And when I hope his blunders all are out,

      Reply discreetly, To be sure—no doubt!

      —Anon.

      TALKS ON TALKING

      THE ART OF TALKING

      The charm of conversation chiefly depends upon the adaptability of the participants. It is a great accomplishment to be able to enter gently and agreeably into the moods of others, and to give way to them with grace and readiness.

      The spirit of conversation is oftentimes more important than the ideas expressed. What we are rather than what we say has the most permanent influence upon those around us. Hence it is that where a group of persons are met together in conversation, it is the inner life of each which silently though none the less surely imparts tone and character to the occasion.

      It requires vigorous self-discipline so to cultivate the feelings of kindness and sympathy that they are always in readiness for use. These qualities are essential to agreeable and profitable intercourse, though comparatively few people possess them.

      Burke considered manners of more importance than laws. Sidney Smith described manners as the shadows of virtues. Dean Swift defined manners as the art of putting at ease the people with whom we converse. Chesterfield said manners should adorn knowledge in order to smooth its way through the world. Emerson spoke of manners as composed of petty sacrifices.

      We all recognize that a winning manner is made up of seemingly insignificant courtesies, and of constant little attentions. A person of charming manner is usually free from resentments, inquisitiveness, and moods.

      Personality plays a large part in interesting conversation. Precisely the same phraseology expressed by two different persons may make two wholly different impressions, and all because of the difference in the personalities of the speakers.

      The daily mental life of a man indelibly impresses itself upon his face, where it can be unmistakably read by others. What a person is, innately and habitually, unconsciously discloses itself in voice, manner, and bearing. The world ultimately appraises a man at his true value.

      The best type of talker is slow to express positive opinions, is sparing in criticism, and studiously avoids a tone or word of finality. It has been well said that A talker who monopolizes the conversation is by common consent insufferable, and a man who regulates his choice of topics by reference to what interests not his hearers but himself has yet to learn the alphabet of the art. Conversation is like lawn-tennis, and requires alacrity in return at least as much as vigor in service. A happy phrase, an unexpected collocation of words, a habitual precision in the choice of terms, are rare and shining ornaments of conversation, but they do not for an instant supply the place of lively and interesting matter, and an excessive care for them is apt to tell unfavorably on the substance of discourse.

      When Lord Beaconsfield was talking his way into social fame, someone said of him, I might as well attempt to gather up the foam of the sea as to convey an idea of the extraordinary language in which he clothed his description. There were at least five words in every sentence that must have been very much astonished at the use they were put to, and yet no others apparently could so well have expressed his idea. He talked like a racehorse approaching the winning-post—every muscle in action, and the utmost energy of expression flung out into every burst.

      We are told that Matthew Arnold combined all the characteristics of good conversation—politeness, vivacity, sympathy, interestedness, geniality, a happy choice of words, and a never-failing humor. When he was once asked what was his favorite topic for conversation, he instantly answered, That in which my companion is most interested.

      Courtesy, it will be noted, is the fundamental basis of good conversation. We must show habitual consideration and kindliness towards others if we would attract them to us. Bluntness of manner is no longer excused on the ground that the speaker is sincere and outspoken. We expect and demand that our companion in conversation should observe the recognized courtesies of speech.

      There was a time when men and women indulged freely in satire, irony, and repartee. They spoke their thoughts plainly and unequivocally. There were no restraints imposed upon them by society, hence it now appears to us that many things were said which might better have been left unsaid. Self-restraint is nowadays one of the cardinal virtues of good conversation.

      The spirit of conversation is greatly changed. We are enjoined to keep the voice low, think before we speak, repress unseasonable allusions, shun whatever may cause a jar or jolt in the minds of others, be seldom prominent in conversation, and avoid all clashing of opinion and collision of feeling.

      Macaulay was fond of talking, but made the mistake of always choosing a subject to suit himself and monopolizing the conversation. He lectured rather than talked. His marvelous memory was perhaps his greatest enemy, for though it enabled him to pour forth great masses of facts, people listened to him helplessly rather than admiringly.

      Carlyle was a great talker, and talked much in protest of talking. No man broke silence oftener than he to tell the world how great a curse is talking. But he told it eloquently and therein was he justified. There was in him too much vehement sternness, of hard Scotch granite, to make him a pleasant talker in the popular sense. He was the evangelist of golden silence, and though he did not apparently practice it himself, his genius will never diminish.

      Gladstone was unable to indulge in small talk. His mind was so constantly occupied with great subjects that he spoke even to one person as if

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