Marriage By God's Design; How Not to Fail At Marriage Volume One

By Shaun McElderry

In our global society, almost anyone can receive licensure for marriage with the simple words of “I do” without proving they understand what marriage entails. It also seems that almost anyone can redefine the marriage union as it suits them. If one were to search global history of the deliberate evolution of marriage, one would find cases of legally sanction immoral and debased practices under the guise of Holy Matrimony. Fluctuating statistical data depicts those in Christendom faring just as poorly in marriage as those in secular society. The Holy Bible is the only inspired instructional manual for marriage known to mankind. From it, I have outlined three basic marital designs: God’s Design, the Hebraic Design, the Judeo-Christian Design, and the Secular Design. This book covers the differences in the four marriage designs and their impact on global society. Also, this book show God's plan and order for lovingly harmonious marriage and the power that is released as prescribed in His promises.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 5, 2015
• ISBN: 9781329739581

Book preview

Marriage By God's Design; How Not to Fail At Marriage Volume One

Introduction

Cultural progress requires education. To become a working member of society a person needs some form of specialized training, certifying, or licensing.  For example, to drive a car you have to demonstrate your ability to maneuver a vehicle properly and legally. In order to teach in public school, teachers are required at the state, national, or international levels to qualify for certification. Mechanics demonstrate detailed knowledge concerning vehicle malfunctions and repair solutions prior to being hired in a vehicle servicing department. Before police officers receive a commission to represent the city or state, with the privilege of possessing a badge and gun, they must endure a set of rigorous testing and qualifications. Doctors display credentials on their office walls to prove they have the requisite skills to probe a person’s body. Lawyers take an oath, a priest a vow, service members a swearing in, and so on. All occupational pursuits require proof of progression in academic training, practical examinations, or an oath of some type.

Society expects a person to prove themselves in nearly every aspect of life except the most sacred – marriage.  With regard to age stipulations and mental capacity, anyone can say I do without as much as a good example or providing proof that one has some idea of how to negotiate through the challenges of marriage. What is the reason for this less than ideal marital condition and seemingly low standard for marriage?  As much as one believes in angelic intervention into human experiences, one has to believe in demonic influence upon human choice.  Is this poor marital condition demonically influenced or is it a product of human curiosity and ingenuity?  Clearly, there has been a departure from God’s truth of loving passion in marriage, which has been replaced with a mentality of suffering through an intolerable marriage for the sake of honoring Christ. Should the state of marriage and this emerging mentality remain, believing that suffering in marriage brings a person closer to God? If one takes that approach, one should reexamine the purpose of Christ's sufferings. They will find Jesus' stance in suffering was against the work of the devil's affect on humankind, and not against any human being.[1]

In the New Testament, Jesus stated that upon His return for the church there would be no marriages in heaven.[2]  So why should people bother with bettering their marriage while they are in this life? The simple answer is, for Christ’s sake and the ultimate plan of God, which is to fill this earth with children that know and worship Him.  Without marriage operating according to God’s truth, how then does God enlarge His family? I believe, it is the will of God to strengthen existing marriages and increase the chances of success for future marriages by providing truth, the proper application of His word, and examples that can stand the test of scriptural scrutiny. I also believe, this press for better marriages is part of the mandate set forth by Jesus to, …occupy till I come. [3] In this text, Jesus is commanding believers to conduct business in economic markets and exchanges for the advancement of the Kingdom of God in the earth.  However, if husbands & wives take a business-minded approach for their marriage, they can apply the principle of this scripture and develop financial success in marriage.  As we will see in the chapters to come, it will benefit everyone to conduct the business of marriage by God's design.

Society has addressed marriage and the complexities aligned with it from multiple viewpoints ranging from the narcissistic to the sanctimonious and even the demonic.  It seems that anyone could exercise their constitutional right to define the union of marriage. The depravity that pervades secular society has caused some to overlook, and in other cases sanction immoral and debased practices under the guise of marriage.  Yes, those that practice zoophilia believe it is proper to cleave or inappropriately love their animals. Moreover, where polygamy is not as heinous as some martial choices, it is a debaucherous approach to marriage that allows an individual to exercise their lusts. In various books of the Old Testament, we can see some of the pitfalls encountered by those who partook in the polygamist view of marriage. For example: Abraham had marital relations with two women that produced Isaac and Ishmael.  It is historic fact that these two sons have been in conflict with one another since the time of their birth until this day.[4]  David sought the affections of an additional wife, by murder, which caused a root of violence to permeate his genealogy.[5] Lastly, Solomon’s many wives ultimately turned his heart from God.[6]  Anyone can recall news worthy stories over the past few years of polygamy gone badly?  Currently, there are no federal laws against polygamy.  However, every state except Utah and Colorado prohibit the practice of marrying more than one person at a time. Nevertheless, polygamy thrives in our global society as an acceptable non-publicized practice performed in the name of posterity.

Societal norms and individual belief and value-systems sanction lascivious acts in marriage such as open marriages, arranged affairs, wife swapping, and private orgy clubs. The Internet has a vast amount of information that would validate this point.  Like everything else under the sun, marriage started somewhere and then humankind replicated it to varying degrees across the globe from ancient times until now.  The problem with replication is that the quality of the original material degrades over time to the point of creating something inferior to the original. Although this sounds scientific, the biblical perspective of replicating marriage reveals a satanic ploy to destroy access to the inherent power in marriage. Our inherent lust for having marriage our way provided an opportunity for the devil to dilute, weaken, and misconstrue God’s original intention for marriage.

Unfortunately, our God-given ability to evolve individually and collectively is working against us in that we have strayed from His truth through intelligent curiosity. What I mean by intelligent curiosity is, our innate sense of creativity and exploration drives us to test limits and to change what can be changed.  For example: global exploration has progressed to planetary exploration, scientific discoveries of the wondrous intricacies of the human body has progressed to human cloning capabilities, and medical intelligence allows the permanent change of one's sex from a male to a female and vice versa.  Through intelligent curiosity, humanity has committed these and many other questionable actions. Furthermore, the enemy of God has negatively influenced the human mental ability to evolve as moral beings through deceiving humankind into living selfishly and lustfully.  Has mankind benefited from their marital creations? Alternatively, is marriage in a more weakened condition than in earlier times?  Please do not misunderstand me, much good has come from very brilliant minds in terms of preserving the institution of marriage.  For example, there is legislation (the Marriage Act of 1996) that governs legal aspects of marriage; federal and state guidelines (the Faith-Based Initiative of 2003) for marriage programs associated with non-profit organizations and churches. However, the basic fabric of marriage is changing, which initially consisted of a man and a woman cohabitating under acceptable spiritual, moral, and legal standards. This has left society with a perfectly legalized matrimonial counterfeit. It does not feel, smell, taste, function like, and in some cases look like the original.  In the case of marriage, a counterfeit, a substitute, or a knock-off cannot produce the intended fulfillment and familial growth as the original.  Neither can a counterfeit marriage produce the spiritual power and blessings associated with a marriage by God's design.

Perhaps we should begin by looking into the only instructional manual for marriage known to man - The Holy Bible. In it, we will find three basic designs that I have named: God's Design, the Hebraic Design, and the Judeo-Christian Design.  I have also included a fourth marriage design, titled the Secular Design.  The architects of this design are those not associated with the God of the bible and the principles of Jesus Christ, but have used their own intellect and social-ingenuity to operate in marriage.

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[1] Matthew 17:17 NKJV, 1 John 3:8 NLT

[2] Matthew 22:30 NKJV

[3] Luke 19:13 NKJV

[4] Genesis

[5] 2 Samuel

[6] 2 Kings

God’s Design – Affectionately Functional

Founded in love for God’s purpose of

repopulating the earth with worshipping children.

Beginning in the book of Genesis, the Father gives the world the first glimpse into His intention for the co-habitation of humankind with the other creations in the Garden.  Adam & Eve's creation heralds the installation of the marriage union in the earth.  God constructed the marital institution in a perfect environment – Eden, and in perfect people – Adam & Eve before the fall.  The Garden of Eden is depicted in scripture as being eastward in Eden.[7] The Hebrew word for eastward, in terms of location means front or forepart. In regards to time, eastward means before, forward, ancient, eternal, or everlasting.  By these definitions, we understand that the Garden is a place God intends to stand out and last throughout the existence of the earth.  Moreover, God intended to put Adam and his wife on display in this spiritually perfect environment in the front of Eden for the rest of the inhabitants of the earth to see.  Yes, the Book of Genesis records other inhabitants living on the earth during the time of Adam & Eve.[8]

All the inhabitants of the heavens and earth could see that God the Father created the Garden of Eden to be an environment capable of sustaining life and providing humankind with a purpose.  It is beautiful by all accounts, arrayed with all kinds of forestry, rivers, and hills under a pristine sky.  The glory of the Garden shone like the sun, which warmed but did not burn or scorch those basking under its rays.  In terms of its spatial beauty, human understanding cannot express in words the true glory of the Garden's opulence. Every creature: insects, mammals, fowls, and animals lived in complete harmony with one another.  It is easy to imagine that microorganisms were non-hostile towards other organisms.  We know this to be true by Isaiah's prophecy of our Savior's restoration of the earth back to the original habitation of the Garden, where he said the lion and lamb would lie down together.[9]

Before the fall, Adam & Eve lived in an environment of God's grace where He provided everything for them: food, water, shelter, and purpose.  They ate of the trees that produced sustenance for living in God's presence.  They nourished themselves with the waters that flowed from the river of God into the Garden.  They did not need natural coverings, as we understand the need for clothing since they were clothed in the glory of the presence of the Father continually.  As depicted in scripture, their bodies then was as Jesus' body is now, having spiritual flesh and bone without blood, Jesus stated handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have. [10]  The atmosphere of the Garden is an closed ecosystem filled with the presence of the Father.  Adam & Eve functioned purposely in having dominion over all living things, keeping the Garden operating by God's order, and replenishing the earth with people that loved the Father as they did.[11]  Their adherence to God's command afforded them opportunities to experience more than just the Father's presence, but His person as He walked with them in the cool of the day![12]

At this point, we can interpret the Garden of Eden as the Father's example for the order of every dwelling place of His earthly children, as an atmosphere of His grace.  When homes resemble the structure of the Garden of Eden, the blessings associated with marriage will manifest just as Adam & Eve manifested the Father's benefits and blessings. One of those blessings is an atmosphere of the presence of God made possible by a Kingdom of God mentality that consist of a husband & wife honoring the commands of God. Thus, it is safe to assume that every believer wants to walk with the Lord in the cool of the day as Adam did.  Then the obvious question emerges, is the atmosphere of our home a dwelling place for the Father?  Later we will uncover several facets of the Garden that constitutes a home structure pleasing to the Father and how an earthly home must resemble the spiritual Garden of Eden in order to reap its intended marital blessings and benefits.

It is important to understand the facts about the creation of the Garden of Eden, as they pertain to this topic in order for husbands & wives to please the Father today.  Genesis chapters one through three chronicles the specifics of each day of creation and explains the necessity for the Father's creation of man along with the institution of marriage.  In chapter one, there is no mention of Adam, Eve, the Garden, Eden, or any specific items. However, we see the creation of humankind, both male and female along with the sky, land, vegetation, fish, and fowl.  At the end of chapter one, we see how the heavens and the earth were inhabited and all its occupants were commanded to be fruitful and multiply.  Verses three through thirty-one illustrates a repopulation of a reconstructed heaven and earth that God the Father destroyed from its functional form after the banishment of Lucifer and the fallen angels.[13]  God the Father chose to create man to refill the earth as oppose to refilling it with created angels programmed to follow instructions without reasoning.  God wants love from His creation and their willful choice to serve Him.[14]

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[7] Genesis 2:8 NKJV

[8] Genesis 4:14 NKJV

[9] Isaiah 11:1-9 NIV

[10] Luke 24:39, John 20:19 NKJV

[11] Genesis 1:28 NKJV, Genesis 9:1 NKJV

[12] Genesis 3:8 NLT

[13] Ezekiel 28:11-19 NKJV, Isaiah 14:12-17 NKJV

[14] Hebrews 2:5-8 NKJV

The Garden of Eden Model for the Home

The Garden of Eden depicts the order and function of homes under God’s authority. Genesis chapter two records the history of Adam & Eve’s creation as well as the mention of certain items and the naming of specific locations: a mist, a river, the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  It is important to notice that these items are aligned with specific locations: Eden, Havilah, Assyria, and Ethiopia.  The items and locations are aligned with four rivers: Pishon, Gihon, Hiddekel, and Euphrates.  Three of the locations coincide with three rivers: Pishon, Gihon, and Hiddekel. The significance of the rivers flowing through these lands is that water was an important commodity then just as it is now.  The Father ensured that these lands could sustain life by supplying a river to feed each of them. The people created in Genesis chapter two inhabited these lands and are feed by the river that God provided them.[15]  At the fulfillment of all prophesies mentioned in various books of the Bible leading up to the second coming of the Lord Jesus the Christ, believers will see the significance of these locations and their supplying rivers in relation to the fulfillment of God’s plan for humankind. One must realize that the true riches of God is the ability to understand the scriptures and applying its wisdom daily.  One must also understand that only God the Father reveals this understanding and wisdom.[16]  This truth relates to this topic on this wise, the true riches are the released blessings contained in a marriage by God's design, as revealed in the Garden's construction.  The Garden East of Eden is not a mystical place but currently exists in the invisible realm. The fall of humankind veiled human eyes and the Holy Spirit has to lead humankind to it.  Through the Redemptive work of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, husbands & wives can live in the benefits of the Garden's construction now.

A Mist

As stated in the section above, there are several items mentioned in the layout of Eden.  The first item is a mist that came up from the earth to water the whole ground.[17]  In the Hebrew language, the word mist also means a vapor.  The New Living Translation defined a mist as an underground spring and the New International Version defined a mist as a stream.  Scriptures proclaim God's word is like rain and His speech is like dew;[18] all the creations of God in the earth, specifically vapor (mist), obey His word; God's voice moves the waters of heaven that causes vapor to rise from within the earth for rain.[19]  By these scriptures, along with the mist of the Garden we see that a mist, vapor, or water resembles the presence of God that flows from within His creations for His purposes. Furthermore, Jesus proclaims the spiritual truth of giving living water in the New Testament.[20]  Jesus prophetically speaks of the Father's Spirit living in humankind, by the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit through His salvation.  Therefore, one must understand, through the symbols of the bible that the mist of the Garden represents the abiding presence of God.  It is interesting to note that Adam’s physical body came from the ground moistened by the mist, the symbolic presence and Word of God. Jesus has reconciled humankind back to the condition of having the abiding presence of the Father within one’s life.  His life springs from believers like a mist giving them life and creativity, …he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him (John 15:1-10 NKJV, John 14:23 NKJV).

The Word of God (the Bible) is the established authority of God for the family and remains the primary source of knowledge in the home.  When the Lord’s authority is established in the home, His presence abides like the mist in the Garden.  Both the husband & wife are responsible for developing and maintaining a God consciousness or mental attitude in the home through personal studying, meditating on scripture, and speaking His Word to one another.  It is important to mention while the Lord has manifested