Power over Wrong Intimacy: The Nature of Inappropriate Relationships and Why and How to Avoid Them

By Dr. Mahama Barwah

'Power over Wrong Intimacy' is a heart-wrenching, thought-provoking and insightful masterpiece. It is a call to action for anyone who cares about the sanctity of marriage in a perverse and decadent world. Skillfully stating the biblical bases of personal purity as God's purpose for humanity, Dr. Barwah highlights the causes and effects of inappropriate relationships and provides the solution through faith in Jesus. It is rich and rounded in scripture with contemporary illustrations to encourage the reader make relational choices of eternal values.

Rev. Dr. Gabriel N. Yidana

Pastor, Good Shepherd Church – Assemblies of God, Great Britain

Dr. Barwah's book is a roadmap to enlightenment and an inspiring book from which we can learn many things. The book is an eye- opener, giving us knowledge about God and His ways. It is a welcoming volume on its own; a clear insight into knowledgeable details. I have personally learned from and appreciated certain revelations given out exceptionally in this excellent piece of writing.

Rev. Prophet Peter Kojo Sagoe

General Overseer, World Redemption Power Ministries, Ghana

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664249622

Dr. Mahama Barwah

Dr. Mahama Barwah is an economist, a lecturer and a qualified teacher. He acquired his BSc. Degree in Economics at the Brunel University in 2000 and his Postgraduate Certificate in Education at the University of Surrey in 2005, both in the United Kingdom. He completed his PhD degree in International Economics in 2014, again at the University of Surrey, where he also acquired his Master’s Degree in International Economics, Finance and Development. Dr. Barwah is a Christian and has walked faithfully with the Lord for the past 25 years. His Christian message centres on the individual making the appropriate biblical choices for their own Christian journey, and not to be influenced by popular culture; either in the world or in the so-called body of Christ.

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Copyright © 2022 Dr. Mahama Barwah.

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version® Copyright © 1982

by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4961-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4960-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4962-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021923134

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/10/2022

To my son, Wigglesworth, and

daughter, Wilhelmina.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1     The Call to Purity

Chapter 2     The Narrow Path

Chapter 3     The Unrenewed Mind

Chapter 4     The Sin of Fornication

Chapter 5     The Impact of Intimacy on Human Species

Chapter 6     The Sin of Adultery

Chapter 7     The Role of the Internet and Social Media

Chapter 8     Death—The Consequence of Wrong Intimacy

Chapter 9     Jesus—The Ultimate Solution

Chapter 10   The Lamb’s Book of Life

Appendix

Bibliography

About the Author

Author Contact

FOREWORD

T he degeneration of moral values in our time has given rise to all kinds of vices. Dr. Barwah calls our attention to the subject of sexual morality and delves particularly into wrong intimacy—a subject not talked about much but of great importance. This book is a moral call to sexual purity and addresses both the married and single, the believer and the not yet a beli ever.

Highly biblical and very well researched, the writer addresses the lurking dangers of wrong sexual relations and its consequences. Not only is sexual indiscretion wrecking homes, Dr. Barwah gives biblical examples of the effect of wrong intimacies and brings us to our present day, to well-known people who had accomplished so much, and though such had great dreams and opportunities ahead of them, they ended up in shame, with some facing prison sentences. Nothing brings shame on a person more than sexual impropriety. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Dr. Barwah does not just leave us there but offers answers in how we may conduct ourselves, by paying attention to the right boundaries and constantly keeping our minds renewed daily and consistently in Christ, in line with God’s Word. He offers a remedy to any that may have fallen prey or find themselves entangled somehow in a situation of wrong intimacy—Christ, our ultimate hope and solution.

May you be blessed as you read this book, and to quote the writer, What is the purpose of the existence of humans on earth? What else are we to seek … Perhaps there is a higher and more noble call beyond the quest for physical accomplishments and earthly ambitions … There is a superior objective for which we are all expected to live. That we seek to walk with God our Creator. We must remember God in the days of our youth and endeavour to continue in a relationship with Him until our final day on earth (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

May the church as the light of the world return to its moral compass and show the moral highway of holiness. I highly commend the book to you.

—Rev. Kingsley Appiagyei, Head Pastor, Trinity Baptist Church, Great Britain

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to express my sincere appreciation to Rev. Kingsley Appiagyei for providing the foreword to this book. My thanks and gratitude go to Rev. Dr. Gabriel N. Yidana for his very useful comments of contribution to the book. I am also indebted to Rev. Prophet Peter Kojo Sagoe for his kind prophetic words of encouragement. I am thankful to Mr. Matthew Dammah Sebiyam for the many discussions we have had over the years regarding human nature and the will of God for humanity, which in many ways had an influence on this book.

INTRODUCTION

W hat is the purpose of the existence of humans on earth? What else are we expected to seek, besides the pursuit of the economic activity necessary to secure our survival and ensure our progress? Perhaps nothing else is warranted, beyond the earthly dreams that most of us eagerly desire. Perhaps there is a higher and more noble call, in addition to the quest for physical accomplishments and earthly ambitions. Those who live by the philosophy of hedonism would subscribe to the former and essentially seek nothing else unrelated to the pursuit of their earthly happiness. Such live for themselves and only in their own interests and proclaim, Let’s eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.

However, there is a superior objective for which we are all expected to live. In this, it is envisioned that we seek and walk with God our Creator. We must remember God in the days of our youth and endeavour to continue in a relationship with Him until our final day on earth (Ecclesiastes 12:1). For our last day on earth does not necessarily mark the end of all things, but we will stand in judgement before God at the appointed time. An acknowledgement of the invitation that God has extended to humankind to seek after Him makes one understand that they are a pilgrim here on earth. A pilgrim journeys and has in mind an eventual destination on which they are focused. As such, they are not dissuaded by unnecessary and unhelpful distractions that have the capacity to curtail their purpose. Therefore, just as a pilgrim does, we must, in addition to our earthly pursuits, also work toward the final destination of the kingdom of God, which will be ahead of us after we have taken our last breath on earth.

Nevertheless, we notice in our existence the extent to which many of us have no relationship with God and pay utter disregard to His commandments. The hedonists, by virtue of their outlook on life, acknowledge neither God nor His impending judgement of humanity at the end of the age. Many are they who also accept the existence of the eternal God but refuse or fail to submit to Him and His supremacy. There are those who also refer to themselves as Christians, on the basis of their belief in the eternal God and their acceptance of His Son, the Christ, and His atonement work. Such people would then be perceived to follow exemplary moral lives, making them clearly distinguishable from others. Thus, their lives are distinct and laudable, in that they live according to the commandments of God, which are the only statutes that have the capacity to promote and foster upright living. Yet the kind of life that many of these Christians lead is not in any way dissimilar to that of the hedonist or the one who has not willingly submitted to God. It is, therefore, an undeniable fact that with reference to moral rectitude, many so-called Christians cannot be differentiated from people who may be classified as worldly or who have no relationship with God.

One major way in which people live in opposition to God, and which unites the three categories of people enunciated above, is the indulgence in the wrong physical intimacy. The wrong physical intimacy is any sexual activity between people who are not husband and wife. The Bible forbids any physical intimacy beyond the boundaries of marriage and refers to it as sexual immorality. We, therefore, wish to announce in this piece of writing that the human body is not designed to be donated to sexual impropriety and that sexual discipline is a prerequisite to a faithful and convincing walk with God. The human body is not meant to be devoted to sexual indiscretions because the practice of such has inherent dangers, which God desires that none of us encounter.

God has, therefore, called us to a life of purity. The world we live in is characterised by darkness, but God has invited us to come out of this darkness and walk in light. In our families and communities, there is no reverence toward God and His statutes, but God is calling on us to differentiate ourselves and pay due regard to the dictates of His heart. In this, we do not live like others around us and, by so doing, avoid the pervasiveness of sexual impropriety in our society.

The call that God has extended to us requires that we walk on a narrow path. From the perspective of the gospel of Christ, the existence in this world consists of only two paths—that is, the broad way and the narrow way. The broad way leads to eternal damnation, and many are they who find it, while the narrow way culminates in life everlasting, and few are they who walk on such (Matthew 7:13–14). When we walk by the broad path, we embrace all manner of conduct in our life without question. Such type of life, more often than not, is also associated with the wrong physical intimacy. However, when we choose to stay on the narrow path, we are circumspect with our life choices and do not partake of all kinds of vices, including sexual immorality.

We must, therefore, renew our mind if we desire to walk on the narrow path. An unrenewed mind functions in a manner that is antithetical to the commandments of God and would not necessarily seek to abstain from sexual immorality. When both males and females fail to renew their minds as mandated by the gospel of Christ, then participating in fornication becomes a natural human activity. The sin of fornication or premarital sex is, however, not without cost. The repercussions are of such a magnitude that individuals stand to suffer from diminished sexual fulfilment later on in marriage. When individuals, especially females, then enter marriage with the baggage of previous sexual experiences, the ensuing unmet, wrongfully acquired previous sexual gratification creates room for adultery to flourish. The sin of adultery, therefore, does not just happen as a matter of course. It is a desired act, which is planned by the spouse willing to engage in its participation.

The invention of the internet and the social media in recent times has also led to the prevalence of sexual immorality. Such tools do not necessarily provoke individuals into indulging in the wrong physical intimacy, but in many ways, they have minimised the burden and elevated the ease with which sexual impropriety occurs.

It is important to note that the eventual consequence of the wrong physical intimacy is the encounter with a certain form of death. This may variously relate to death of one’s social standing, a physical death, or eternal damnation. There is hope, however, for all who have been enslaved by sexual immorality and desire to be free from its entanglement. This is the solution found in Christ Jesus. Individuals do not have to remain in bondage to the wrong physical intimacy forever and can be liberated from that lifestyle choice, if they so desire. Thus, by receiving Christ into our life and becoming born again, we dethrone ourselves and make God the Lord and master of our life.

When God controls our life, His commandments direct us, enabling us to respond to the call to purity, walk on the narrow path, and possess a renewed mind. In this manner, we forsake our old sinful nature, and by so doing, we also abandon the sin of wrong physical intimacy. It does not therefore matter what one’s past life has been or the nature of their present life, as far as sexual immorality is concerned. Jesus is able to make things anew, for His coming was designed to wipe out humankind’s first chance of duplicitous living and offer them a second opportunity to embrace a life of truth and virtue. Hence, our future can be one of holiness and upright living.

The acceptance of Christ into one’s life puts their name in the Lamb’s Book of Life. As pilgrims here on earth, our ultimate destination is God’s eternal kingdom. However, the indulgence in sexual immorality and all manner of sin is detrimental to reaching this eventual destination (Revelation 22:15). The failure to reach this destination constitutes a permanent exclusion from this eternal kingdom of God. This state of being is established by the blotting out of one’s name from the Book of Life. However, when we hand over our life to Christ Jesus and refrain from the wrong physical intimacy, including the several kinds of evil and wickedness, our name is not blotted out from the Lamb’s Book of Life, and we maintain a share in the kingdom of God, which is to come.

It is hoped that the reader will be blessed by this book and will be strengthened and energised in their quest to live beyond the fleshly desires and desist from the wrong physical intimacy, and by so doing, please the Lord their maker.

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CHAPTER 1

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THE CALL TO PURITY

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

—Romans 12:1–2

W e live in a dark and perilous world. Although we always witness kindness, civility, and charity in our world, evil and wickedness also surround us. We all, at least right-thinking individuals, would prefer that the things we see and hear are respectively always pleasant to the eyes and comforting to the ears. This is not, however, the