How to Marry Up!: Standard Operating Procedures for Kingdom Living

By Dr. J. Lorraine Willies

By reading and applying the simple principles in this book, How To Marry Up, which are all based on the Word of God, you will not only learn how to prepare for a successful and glorious marriage, but you will also learn how to prepare and teach generations to come! You can be happy and live together forever!

Powerful, thought provoking, and life changing!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 1, 2006
• ISBN: 9781467078245

Dr. J. Lorraine Willies

Dr. J. Lorraine Willies is a lecturer, an educator and a motivational speaker. She is currently teaching on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/DrJLorraine/videos Dr. Willies is C.O.O. and founder of Suitable Mates. The Christian Fellowship Network. She is the ethics consultant for the Axxiss Corporation. Dr. Willies received a Doctorate of Theology and a Bachelor degree in Public Relations. She currently lives in Memphis working on the next book in the Standard Operating Procedures for Kingdom Living.

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© 2006 Dr. J. Lorraine Willies. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 10/17/2006

ISBN: 1-4259-3412-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4670-7824-5 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Introduction

Part 1

Doing Things God’s Way

1

In the Beginning

2

The Importance of the Family

3

The Role of the Father

4

The Bridegroom

5

The Bride

6

Ancient Hebrew Wedding Procedures

7

The Courtship of the Church

The Match

8

The Parallel

9

Why We Missed the Mark

Part 2

Practical Applications

10

Getting Back on Track

11

The Time of Preparation

12

Watch as well as Pray

In Conclusion

About the Author

Acknowledgements

This book is for all of God’s people who are wishing, hoping, and praying for a suitable mate. I acknowledge your steadfastness in not giving up hope. I thank God that there are examples of couples walking in holiness before marriage, not committing fornication or adultery. Thanks to Mary B., who dared to believe that God will restore marriages to the glorious state that God intended before Jesus returns.

Foreword

Will you marry me? Before you ask or answer that question, take time to consider another question: Are you prepared for marriage? Daily, countless numbers of males and females alike enter into dating relationships with the expectation of at some point being married. Yet many have not prepared for a successful marriage. Most dating relationships (contrary to popular belief) do not end in marriage, only the failed hope of marriage. If marriage comes as a result of dating, unfortunately in some (not all) cases divorce soon follows. The reason is because we have not been taught how to prepare ourselves for successful Christian marriages. The only marriages that glorify God and build His kingdom are those that are prosperous, strong, and lifelong marriages. Most of us think that by spending time together and getting to know each other’s likes or dislikes, habits, needs, and getting to know each other’s family, friends, and religious beliefs makes us prepared to live happily ever after. Are there better ways to prepare for marriage? Yes, according to the Word of God. That is not to say that getting to know all those things aren’t important; however, God’s word offers us so much more. It’s God who instituted (ordained) marriage (Genesis 1:20-24). Would He have done so without complete instructions? By reading and applying the simple principles in this book, How To Marry Up, which are all based on the Word of God, you will not only learn how to prepare for a successful marriage, but you will also learn how to prepare and teach generations to come.

Tammy Amos

Hosanna Christian Center, Memphis, TN.

Introduction

Most little girls have fantasies of being treated as princesses and queens. Most young men have fantasies of being the big man in charge. As we mature we still harbor those aspirations. However, we are not quite sure how to live our dreams.

Marriage is not a decision that should be made from a position of loneliness, aloneness, the desire for sex, or another income. All of these fall under the curse of lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. We become interested only in receiving and not very interested in sowing into our character in order to obtain our ideal mate. So many people, married and unmarried, are conflicted about the institution of marriage. In your heart of hearts you desire marriage, yet your mind is not always sure that’s what you want. As Christians we have to get in agreement with God concerning marriage. He is certainly for marriage. He refers to his Son as the Bridegroom. Christ was sent as the embodiment of exactly what God desires out of us. The first institution God ordained was marriage, the joining of man and woman, which is the foundation of the Church.

Deciding whom you will marry is the most important decision you will make. Human history opens with marriage. The beginning of Christ’s ministry on earth as a man starts at a wedding, and the climax of our relationship with Christ will take place at the marriage supper of the Lamb.

Marriage is a covenant between one man, one woman, and God. It is a binding and unbreakable obligation between a husband and wife based on unconditional love and obligations that create a relationship in which each party is bound by a specific undertaking for God and on each other’s behalf. This agreement is not to be entered into lightly. The covenant parties place themselves under the penalty of divine retributions should they later attempt to avoid their obligations. It is a relationship that can only be voided by death and sometimes adultery. The marriage is composed of contracts and agreements preordained by God, written in His holy word. God’s desire for His people is that we marry within the body of believers. When we marry outside the body of Christ we open ourselves up to disappointment. Two people have to be in agreement in order to get along and live a peaceful, prosperous life. This can only be achieved by putting God first. Honor and respect is the foundation of a good marriage; the solid foundation of the household depends on the strength of the marriage union. The first step to a strong marriage is honoring and respecting God’s word, then showing honor and respect to one another. Some people say that marriage is not for them or for everybody. Jesus addresses and settles the matter in the book of Matthew.

9 - I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

10 - The disciples said to Him, If the case of a man with his wife is like this, it is neither profitable nor advisable to marry.

11 - But He said to them, Not all men can accept this saying, but it is for those to whom [the capacity to receive] it has been given.

12 - For there are eunuchs who have been born incapable of marriage; and there are eunuchs who have been made so by men; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves incapable of marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let him who is able to accept this accept it. Matt 19:10-12

A eunuch is an infertile human male whose testicles have either been removed (deliberately or by accident) or are otherwise nonfunctional.

Part 1

Doing Things God’s Way

1

In the Beginning

Before you read any further, make up your mind that marriage is what you really want. You can not be double-minded about what you want and expect to receive it from God.

6 - Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind.

7 - For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord,

8 - [For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute),