Lifting the Veil of Marriage (My Survival Story)

By Dolapo Agoro

Lifting the Veil of Marriage (My Survival Story) offers insight into getting the most out of the institution of marriage. Written by an experienced counsellor in pastoral care, the author draws copiously from her personal marital experience to expound the secrets in the marriage institution. It also highlights the pitfalls to be avoided by a single person seeking to marry. The challenges that may be experienced during courtship and a lifetime of marriage are emphasised. Its anecdotal approach to exhortation and admonition offers physical and spiritual guidance as life skills to work own way out of an abusive union. (Apprx. 160 pages)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Infomediaworks Ltd
• Release date: Jun 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201628383

Dolapo Agoro

Adedolapo Agoro is the Senior Pastor of Merciful Centre, a thriving Pentecostal church in Doncaster, United Kingdom. She is a qualified Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, the CEO of Motherline Legal Services, an immigration law firm in the UK, B.M. E United Doncaster (a community advocacy service for minorities rights in the UK), and founder, My Godly Spouse Ltd, an online Christian dating site for singles. She also sits as Chair and governor of Boards of organisations. Rev. Dolly, as fondly referred, is also the presenter of The Wise Builders, an online weekly counselling session on social media for both married and singles. She is a woman of inspiration who people find they have a lot to learn from and can easily connect with.  She is a leader, motivator, coach, a dedicated advocate, and conference speaker with passion about developing, building, and empowering individuals into achieving their life’s best potentials through her teachings and motivational talks. She is a widow and mother of two children; Benjamin, and Michael.

Book preview

Lifting the Veil of Marriage (My Survival Story)

Copyright © 2021 Dolapo Agoro

Dolapo Agoro asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this book

A CIP CATALOGUE RECORD for this title is available from the British Library

First published in Great Britain 2021

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

© Dolapo Agoro LLB BL

56-58 Beckett Road, Doncaster DN2 4AJ

Twitter: @PastorDolly1

Facebook: Dolapo Agoro Adeniyi (Rev Dolly)

Instagram: dolapo_agoro_adeniyi_pastor_

Website: http://www.revdolly.com

Email: [e-mail]

Telephone: [phone]

PUBLISHED BY

Infomediaworks Limited

20-22 Wenlock Road, London N1 7GU

[e-mail]  www.infomediaworks.co.uk

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the loving memory of my late husband. It has been five years of struggle and pain since the transition of Pastor Emmanuel Olaoluwa Korede Adio Adeniyi, the father of my two children and a man that loved his family, but who was trapped in his past. I am assured that you are now at peace. If only you could read this, you would have smiled and sighed out of relief that I finally summoned the courage in writing this book after all. Whilst you were alive, I shared with you a vision which God confirmed to you He is setting me on. There was only one thing that I knew would free your memory, giving you the voice that you struggled to have because of the many pains and anguish you expressed at your mistakes in life.

Rest in peace, my dear. I know I am healed and free to continue living. I have been trapped in my loss and pain since your departure. You were a good man that was simply trapped in his past. A husband many would love to have and a father many children long for, but a confused yet loving man I met. You were a self-taught multi-talented instrumentalist, testament to your prodigious self, and a genuine lover of God that had his heart set on worship. How I miss your hands on the guitar strings and the keyboards! The drum set and Conga missed you so much. You were a rare gem with a heart of gold for all, especially your siblings. You died for what you believed was the best. You bargained with God to take you thinking you made a mess of life. How I wish I were let into your secret bargain. I only learnt about it after your passing. Rest on my darling soldier of Christ until we meet at resurrection.

Your children and I miss you dearly and will continue to do so.

Acknowledgements

To God be all the glory for bringing this book to completion. I appreciate my Father and my God for His grace upon my life, for His call and for the wisdom that HE has given me. Jehovah, there is none like You.

My appreciation goes to my late father, HRH Baba Aladura Dr. Olapade Agoro, for showing me the light of Christ undiluted, and for training me through my early years through advanced education. My mother is a jewel of inestimable value. I have not seen a woman like her, with total devotion to God and her children. Thank you for teaching me how to pray and wait on the Lord ever since my childhood. Thank you for exposing the importance of my education to me at an early age and for sounding a warning that education is the only thing I have aside from God. It became valuable years after. Thank you, mum, for all your sacrifices for myself and siblings and above all for nursing me back to life after the tide of life became fierce. Without your prayerful and personal intervention in 2016, which re-infused life back into me, I would not be here.

I appreciate all my siblings, Oluwadamilola, Motilayo, Temilola, Idunnu, Pastor Bosun, Tokunbo, Thandi and Jumoke. I am ever grateful for all your love and support throughout my trying period.

My children are the best. Ever supportive and loving. To Benjamin, for holding forth and staying strong after your dad's sudden departure, I appreciate you, my darling son, especially for all the hard drive I give you on those errands and IT skills. Michael is my honey bunch and always reminds me of his dad. You both made parenting easy for me, especially being a lone parent of boys.

I appreciate Rev. John Addison of Elim Pentecostal Church Basildon. You became the big brother that I do not have, and you stood in the gap as a father and brother. For your counsels during those vulnerable nights that I become sorrowful, you would pray and counsel me for hours, making me laugh and giving me counsel on church administration without taking the slightest advantage of me through words or action. There are loyal brothers and fathers of the faith. You are indeed one, sir.

I celebrate the grace of my Spiritual Father Rev. Akintoye for always standing in the gap and my mentor, Pastor Dele Olawanle of the Winners Kingdom for the success drive and motivations. I am thankful for finding you, sir. Thank you for always looking out for my interest and guiding me in the right path, both spiritually and intellectually. I also appreciate Cllr. Afolasade Bright for her encouragements and support of all times.

To all members of the Merciful Centre, I appreciate you all, especially Happiness Bamidele, my daughter, who stood with me through thick and thin. To Olabisi Bamidele and Michael Adebanji, my sons; I am delighted in you, as Paul was delighted in Timothy.

To those that persecuted me without knowing the truth, I have prayed that you do not partake of the blame for a misdeed that you know nothing about.

To all my friends, especially Foluke Adewoye and Mary John Faoye, may the Lord bless you all for believing in me and not betraying my trust in you.

I am indebted to Pastor Peter and Yetunde Adeshile of RCCG Ambassadors of Liberty, my husband's childhood friends. You knew the truth; you chose the truth against the lies of the enemy. May the Lord uphold you for honouring God's name and not disappointing destiny.

My appreciation goes to Mr Segun Martins Fajemisin and the team at Infomediaworks Ltd, for their dedication and professionalism in the publication of this book.

Finally, I doff my hat to my husband’s good friend and a man of integrity, Barrister Cyprian (CY) Amgbah of UK Law Associates, for standing in the gap spiritually and physically, ensuring that peace, stability, and truth prevailed. Without God and CY, the whole episode would have been extremely messy.

Thank you all for being vessels of honour.

Endorsements & Testimonials for Rev. Dolapo ‘Dolly’ Agoro and ‘Lifting the Veil of Marriage’

Dolly is a force of nature and a respected leader within Doncaster communities. Her good humour and desire to form mutually beneficial partnerships in our borough is only matched by her determination to secure better outcomes for the communities that she serves and represents. Dolly’s life journey is fascinating and full of powerful insight and stories. This book provides a great opportunity to learn about and learn from one of South Yorkshire’s most inspirational community leaders .

Best wishes,

Daniel Fell,​ Chief Executive Officer, Doncaster Chamber

DOLAPO HAS PUT TOGETHER a bold statement of personal experience on marital issues with touching personal disclosures. Personally, I am usually worried with leaders and authors with no personal stories because the message is usually not passed to the readers. Real leaders and authors tell their own stories. The book is compelling and intriguing. The singles that want to have a peaceful home, avoid traps that could lead to everlasting regrets and want to have a peaceful marriage should read the book, putting into practice the wonderful nuggets in it. Married couples should also embrace the book as it can repair salient damages in their relationship. I have read books as a learned mind and I hugely recommend this book. It will change your life.

Dele Olawanle, Winners Kingdom, London

REV. ADEDOLAPO (DOLLY) Agoro-Adeniyi is a Solicitor and an Immigration Specialist. She is a delightful, highly motivated community activist, full of energy and determination to succeed. Having known her for many years and her drive to impact and empower people, especially from the BAME community, with disability and other women in our community, is worthy of note. This was the drive and determination that led her to become a member of the Leadership Team that supports Team Doncaster Strategic Partnership. This team is set up to increase understanding of the challenges related to inclusion and fairness of local people. 

She is a Pastor at the Merciful Centre in Doncaster. The book titled Lifting The Veil of Marriage by Rev. Dolly gives you the reader valuable information relating to relationships  - before you say ‘I do’ and inside the ‘marriage’. One cannot but think of the relationship between husband and wife who are Pastor's or Ministers while reading the book. 

With the passion for loving God and loving humanity, she also runs other non-profit organisations namely: Mother Deborah Ministries, an advocacy service for victims of domestic violence and The Wise Builders: a weekly online ( Facebook, Instagram & YouTube) talk show on holistic strong marital foundation. If anyone has earned the right to write this book Lifting The Veil of Marriage, it is her. 

Rev. Dolapo understand the joys, heartaches, securities, and dangers facing some women and men in marriage therefore her book challenges us to understand the reasoning behind a worldview and perspective that is very different to us as Westerners and as Christians, so that we might be better equipped to walk alongside and sensitively share the Good News of Christ.

In this thoughtful yet sobering book, she gives a comprehensive overview of how marriage is lived out and experienced by a couple. 

From ‘I do’ to marriage, polygamy, sex, divorce and children, this book encompasses personal stories and examples, whilst also explaining the theological and cultural rationales underpinning these practices. Whilst only so much ground can be covered in a relatively medium-sized book, it manages to not be simplistic, regularly recognising the nuances and variations across different beliefs. The many personal experiences make Lifting the Veil an easy read, but not a comfortable one. I found a door was opened for many of us to talk more about topics we might not normally have done. Just a small example of how books such as this can help us ask new questions, which we pray can become Christ-centred discussions.

Rev. Dolapo ends the book by giving helpful ideas and insights into common barriers and red flags and practical ideas for how we can lovingly and graciously get past these. While not pretending to give all the answers, the book certainly gives the reader a deeper awareness of ‘life behind the veil’ as well as a greater appreciation for the deep joy and high cost experienced by 'couples' in choosing to follow Christ and do it God's Way!

Councillor Afolasade Bright, Former Civic Mayor of Hackney (2006-2007); Cabinet Member For Employment, Skills & Aspirations, London Borough of Barking & Dagenham (LBBD)

DEPENDING ON WHO WE are, writing about or using personal experiences as anecdotal notes in a piece of writing can be quite challenging. This is especially so with experiences of the not-so-pleasant kind. It becomes even tougher when you must do it within the settings of an elongated exercise such as writing a book. But when an individual is divinely led, well-focused and is perpetually attuned to that selfless mode such as making them want to share with a view to exhortation and good guidance, they give their all and it rarely turns out lesser than dazzling. Sheer brilliance will shine through and they would have passed on their intended message, no matter the medium. I view Rev Dolapo Agoro in this mould and her grand disposition at sharing the good message to assist others achieve their utmost is best viewed in the light of her new book.

Lifting the Veil of Marriage is intensely personal