A Physician for the Soul: Reflections from a Healthcare Chaplain

By Lawrence R (Larry) Taylor, M.Div., Ph.D., BCCi

Why does a good God allow bad things to happen to good people? Where is God in suffering? What does a healthcare chaplain do? How can we find meaning, purpose, and shalom? Is there life after this life? If so, what is it like? What's going on in the minds and hearts of doctors and nurses? How can I deepen the human connection?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781329085787

Book preview

A Physician for the Soul: Reflections from a Healthcare Chaplain

A Physician for the Soul

Lawrence R. (Larry) Taylor, M.Div., Ph.D., BCCi

© 2015

ISBN: 978-1-329-08578-7

FORWARD

The stories here are true, but to preserve patient anonymity and protect confidentiality, I have changed the names and some circumstantial details to make identification impossible.

I came to faith in the Jesus People Movement of the late 1960s, and later joined and was ordained by the Church of the Brethren, one of the historic Anabaptist peace churches, where I learned what a radical follower of Jesus is and how to serve others. I later joined and was ordained in Calvary Chapel, and for a season was very close to its founder, Chuck Smith. Under his guidance, I planted churches and directed a Bible college, and learned  to love God’s Word and God’s people. Still later, the American Baptist Churches, USA, the most ethnically diverse of all Christian denominations, ordained me. There, I learned to embrace a wide variety of theological and sociological points of view. My wife and I have planted and served churches in Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Colorado, California and Hawaii.

After my son died, I left ministry, earned a PhD in psychology and worked as a psychotherapist in a private group practice treating families with adjudicated child abuse. Still later, after a failed church plant, I studied to become a board certified healthcare chaplain, which is what this book is about.

But this book is not just about healthcare chaplaincy. It is also about human dignity, personal strength, and the human and divine connectedness that enables us to endure the worst life can throw at us.

My prayer is that this book will encourage the reader.

TODAY I HUGGED BRIANNA

19-year-old girl

Driving safely

Distracted driver

(Stay alive, don’t text and drive)

Crosses the center line

Hits her head on

Sirens, lights

Jaws of life

Aircare to the trauma center

Probably won’t make it

Trauma team waiting

Interventions

Surgeries

Surgical ICU

Critical condition

Not expected to live

Recovering

Rehab hospital

Doing better

Crisis: Brain bleed

Back to the trauma center

Neurologists, neurosurgeons, neuroscience intensive care

Intubated, respirators, drips, monitors, stents, brain surgeries

Head shaved, wires, EEG, cameras, drains, blood

Progressing toward brain death

Organ procurement people follow from a distance

Mom, dad, brother, grandparents, extended family, friends keep vigil

Weeping, prayer,

Daily chaplain visits

More weeping, more prayer

Pull the plug and let her go

No way. Can’t give up. Baby girl.

Full court press

Might survive

Will never be normal

Severe deficits

Vegetative state.

Life in a nursing home

More prayer, more weeping, more chaplain visits.

She takes a turn for the better

Improvement.

Hope.

Back to rehab hospital.

Back to neurosurgery to repair an aneurism

Back to rehab

Gaining strength

Never give up

Keep praying

Community benefits to raise money.

Mom and daughter walk in the door.

She is fine.

Totally recovered.

Slight short-term memory loss, but you’d not notice

The attending neurology surgeon is astonished

Her ICU nurse smiles and hugs and is grateful

Thanks to all the doctors

Thanks to all the nurses

Thanks to the chaplain who walked with them through it all

Mostly, thanks be to God for the gift of life

Thanks be to God for our baby girl.

PRAYER

Prayer works.

I don’t know why it works. I don’t know how it works.

But it works.

More than simply making me feel better or calming me down, prayer actually, at least sometimes, changes outcomes.

Prayer is the primary means of connection with the Divine, the Eternal, the ultimately Real, the unconditional love that is at the core of all there is.

GUNS

Six gunshot wounds in half an hour. Will it ever stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++

He is 31. He’s been hospitalized numerous times for STDs and gunshot wounds. He has killed and maimed many. He was shot repeatedly. When he woke up, he was the nastiest person we had ever encountered. Tonight, he threw a pulmonary embolism and coded. The medical team heroically saved his life … again.

++++++++++++++++++++

The gun lobby has successfully framed the debate in terms of individual liberties. Americans always favor individual liberty. Perhaps if we reframed the debate in terms of reducing gun violence? 

+++++++++++++++++++++

I’m always amazed at people who are adamantly prolife when it comes to abortion, but who fully support the death penalty and think God gave everyone the right to be armed to the teeth.

++++++++++++++++++++++

HARDENED

Two more deaths; two full cardiopulmonary arrests at the same time in the ER.

A sixty-something year-old Vietnam War vet with multiple health problems due to exposure to Agent Orange fell off a ladder then had a heart attack. His sisters wept. His grown daughter collapsed in emotional agony. Her aunt told her to knock it off and be strong. I resisted slapping the aunt.

The second person was only 31. He’d been clean and sober for 120 days. This was his second day out of rehab. They found him down at a crack house.

When I took his mother to view his body, someone had already zipped him into a body bag. We had to unzip his naked body so she could see his face.

Nurses and social workers in a major trauma center can get hardened to death, especially the deaths of those they write off as worthless - the drug addicts and the gangsters. You hear phrases like, I wish they’d learn to aim better. When a druggie dies, they want to tag and bag him and ship him out of their memories. They forget that druggies and gang bangers have mothers and fathers, sisters, and brothers, spouses and children. They too are human and deserve our respect, even in death.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

KARMA

What goes around comes around.

Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will one reap.

Don’t be misled; you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.

However one thinks of it, a fundamental law of life is that you reap what you sow.

If you sow thistles, you get thistles; if you sow sweet peas, you harvest sweet peas.

Ragweed seeds don’t grow into apple trees.

If you sow deceit, bitterness, revenge, and infidelity, you reap broken lives filled with resentment.

If you sow kindness, love, forgiveness, mercy and fidelity, you reap warm, caring relationships.

For some reason I cannot fathom, some women find him attractive; in fact, some apparently find (or found) him irresistible.

Yes, he is tall and handsome with a full head of hair.

He’s also a cad.

Serial adultery

A string of broken hearts

Children with no father

Divorces

No spiritual underpinning

Says his religion is Elvis.

Although I am sure God loves him, he has not let God in his life.

Now he is terminally ill.

The disease is consuming his mind.

He no longer has the capacity to make decisions and change.

He is abandoned, alone, frightened and hopeless.

She never amassed wealth or property.

She will leave no jewels or real estate.

But, she raised six children, all of whom are happily married and successful citizens.

She has always been kind, loving and charitable.

Hospital volunteer.

Did the books for her spouse’s small business.

Friends, community groups, church.

She rests on a foundation of God’s personal love.

Now she has a terminal illness.

The disease is beginning to take her mind.

She is at perfect peace, surrounded by loving family members,

Expecting to soon be reunited with the spouse she lost 20 years ago, the child who died in infancy, her sister and brother who died a few years ago, and her parents.

Mostly, she expects to be welcomed into eternity by Jesus.

She thinks he will be smiling.

THREE STRIKES

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

A bad week on the neuroscience ICU. Three young people - one in her early 40s, the other two in their 30s - two aneurisms and one car accident. All progress to brain death. Families weep in shock. Nurses cry when they are alone.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Three Strikes

Black, gay and AIDS

Abandoned by family

Rejected by church

Shipped to a nursing home

To die alone covered in bedsores

No one ever touches him

No one visits him

Ashamed

Guilty

Afraid God is like those who say they know him.

Wishing for euthanasia

He once sang and danced

Now all hope is gone

All joy is gone

Alone

Forgotten

Jesus in distressing disguise

Infinitely loved by the Divine

No condemnation

Just love

I purposely stroke his hair because no one ever touches him.

I talk to him of grace, forgiveness and divine love.

I reject the ideas that God causes evil, tests people to see how much they can take, and condemns homosexuals.

I reject the interpretation that his illness is divine punishment.

He looks at me. He makes eye contact. He smiles. He thanks me.

The least of these my brethren.

+++++++++++++++++++

ANSWERS

Answers to prayer come in many forms.

A young girl who should have never been alive walks in the door and hugs me.

A bereaved family member connects with the reality that his loved one lives in eternity.

An AIDS victim without hope smiles again.

Two human beings share their hearts so thoroughly and listen to each other so deeply that they feel the feelings of the other.

PROFESSIONAL CHAPLAINS

Progressive medical centers value holistic care. They have expert physicians and nurses and state of the art technology; they have highly skilled physical, speech, hearing and respiratory therapists. They have outstanding radiology technicians and well-staffed laboratories. They also have a team of people who provide counseling, stress relief, massage therapy, pet therapy, music therapy, art therapy, acupuncture, homeopathy, and, yes, chaplaincy. Progressive medical centers make available whatever helps their patients and their patients’ families.

Twenty-one centuries ago, a mysterious person, in whom were concentrated all the sanctities and sufferings of humankind, struggled, no, agonized, amid the olive trees. Suffering and death repulsed him. It is chronological snobbery (to borrow a phrase from C.S. Lewis) to assume we postmodern humans are more sophisticated and knowledgeable about the spirit than he was.

Every person has a spiritual nature that cannot be explained by genetics or physiology.  Every person experiences love, loss, connection, hope and joy. Every person experiences grief, sorrow, fear, confusion, sorrow, anxiety, the warmth of friendship, the loneliness of separation, a mystical longing for wholeness.

Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee. (Augustine)

Why are chaplains needed in hospitals, hospices, and long term care facilities? Can’t rabbis, pastors, priests, and other clerics do whatever is needed? It is argued that if there is a need for prayer or sacrament, any clergy person will do; if there is a need for advanced directives or connection with outside agencies, a social worker will suffice; if comfort is needed, certainly some trained volunteers with good hearts will do. Any kindly spiritual person can visit and pray. The grieving or anxious person can be referred to a psychiatrist. Some hospitals and hospice programs try to get by with social workers or students or volunteers doing the work of chaplains. You might as well have volunteer nurses or ask me to repair a heart valve.

Why do we need a professional chaplaincy?

We need healthcare chaplains because human beings are more than computers made of meat. There is a growing body of scientific evidence that points to the existence of consciousness apart from body-brain function.

There is a spiritual realm that is more real than this material realm with which we are most familiar. There is a spiritual realm as near as the air we breathe in which all beings are interconnected and where unconditional love is pervasive. We do patients a disservice if we fix some physical part of them but do nothing for their emotions, their families, their relationships, or their spirituality.

Chaplaincy can provide the difference between simply getting over an illness and taking a step towards wholeness.

Chaplaincy is an essential part of holistic healing and living.

Humans are complex; each is unique. Every person has a unique set of experiences, influences, interpersonal relationships, and beliefs. It takes a great deal of learning and practice to understand enough about the intricacies of the varied psychological, social, and spiritual issues that make up a person to help them towards wholeness.

Everything in the universe (or multiverse if there are other universes) is interconnected. The beat of a butterfly wing resonates across the galaxies. Like the polyps that make up a coral reef, taking their color from their associated zooxanthellae and living connected to a communal skeleton, everything about us is connected to others. To isolate one particular organ or disease process without considering the whole person in the context of their culture, religion, worldview, family of origin and relationships is a disservice.

When a person is admitted to a hospital, she enters a world unlike anywhere else. She feels alone, scared, and devalued. People speak using complex medical vocabulary. They talk about her, not often to her. Specialists dart in and out of the room - this one concerned about the pancreas, that one concerned about the lungs, this other one listening only to the heart. Nurses are too busy - they are understaffed, underpaid, and under-appreciated. They relate best with good patients, i.e., those who do not complain. Patients are pushed around from test to test; a phlebotomist awakens them at 1:00 AM to draw blood; if they can walk, they do so in flimsy gowns open in the back. Dignity is nonexistent; the patient reverts to a child-state; the caregivers are the parents.

Family members come to visit. They do not know where to park. The emergency room has armed guards in it. The hospital, cobbled together over many years, is a maze of buildings connected by hallways, tunnels and banks of elevators. They are disoriented and often lost. When they finally reach their loved one, she looks horrible - tubes, IVs, machines, monitors, wavy lines, beeps and alarms.

If they happen to be there when the attending physician, shadowed by a gaggle of doting fellows, residents, interns and med students, jam themselves into the patient’s room, they are asked to leave the room. A few minutes later all the doctors are gone, the visitors return, but the patient has no idea what the physicians said or did. She is at their mercy unless something goes wrong, in which case she should have taken responsibility for her own healthcare.

The visitors leave. The patient lies awake worrying about how she’ll pay the bills and what will happen to her children if something does go wrong. She does not sleep.

What does this patient need? What does this family need? What do these overworked nurses and frightened interns need?

Many things.

The patient needs medicine and perhaps surgery. That’s the job of the physicians.

The patient needs medical care—the responsibility of nurses.

Perhaps the patient will need outpatient physical or occupational therapy to fully recuperate. That’s the job of social workers.

Perhaps the visitors need help navigating the hallways or resolving problems. Patient advocates, visitor assistants, and a friendly staff all help.

Every patient needs a clean room and healthful food. Enter the dietary and environmental staff.

The interns just want to lie low, fly under the radar, pass, and become residents. Residents want to endure 80-hour weeks and become attendings. Nurses want somebody to say, Thank you.

But, is that all a patient needs? Is that all the family needs? Is that all doctors and nurses need? If a hospital staff has good training, good support, and good working conditions, do they need anything else?

Yes, they all need something else, and that something is what only chaplains can give.

Patients, visitors, and medical staff need to be deeply listened to, need to be humanized by a person who cares about them as people; they need to be connected to their faith, need someone who understands and respects their traditions and culture; they need to have the unanswerable questions taken seriously, need to know someone is there just for them as people, not for their liver or their blood infection. They need encouragement; at times they need prayer; they need someone who’s got their back. They need someone who can honestly help them have end of life discussions, who can talk to them about eternity, God, Scripture, love and life, forgiveness and reconciliation - someone who can look past blood gases and skin grafts, and find meaning in pain. They need a harbinger of hope.

Some of that cannot be taught. The chaplain must have good instincts, be caring, compassionate, an active listener, a person of deep faith, steeped in scripture, sure of his or her own faith and belief system. That requires a profound conversion and a meaningful faith-journey.

Campbell Morgan, an outstanding preacher whose ministry bridged the 19th and 20th centuries, was on holiday with his wife. On a Sunday, they stopped in a country church to worship. As they were leaving,

Dr. Morgan commented to his wife, My, wasn’t that a good sermon?

Yes, she replied, and it will be better after he’s suffered.

The chaplain also needs deep theological study and learning, an understanding of what others believe and what is of value to them. She or he must be able to think theologically and (if Christian) Christianly. The chaplain must understand the power of ritual and be able to utilize it to bring healing and wholeness. That is why seminary is essential.

Chaplains need to be people who are fully integrated regarding their faith in a clinical setting. We are not therapists, but we use some of the same techniques to listen, empathize, join with others, and create opportunities for people to get in touch with the real issues with which they are struggling. We are not pastors—except for staff members, most of our relationships are short-term - and yet, we are pastors to everyone who is in the building at any given time. We conduct worship services, perform baptisms, we bless infants and perform weddings and funerals.

The chaplain is the only member of the healthcare team who is focused on the essential spirituality of people while they are in the stressful, sometimes chaotic and confusing, often scary, hospital or hospice setting. A good friend, or a pastor with 300 other congregants cannot do that, nor can a social worker who goes to church on Sundays. Friends, pastors and social workers are needed, valued, and helpful, but only a well-trained and divinely gifted chaplain can touch the deepest levels of human spirituality at a time when the veil between life temporal and life eternal is translucent.

+++++++++++++++++++

OOPS

A nurse was sure she recognized the trauma victim. His mother worked at the hospital. In fact, she was on shift that evening. She was called from her work with the news that her son had been shot and was gravely wounded. When I arrived, she was bent over, sobbing convulsively. Her friend suggested she step outside. I held her up as she sobbed and cried and called family members to tell them her son had been shot. A social worker arrived with the news that they were taking him to surgery. Did she want to give him a kiss before he left? He might not survive surgery. I held her, legs buckling under her as she walked trembling to the bedside where she saw that this was not her son.

++++++++++++++++

CRAZIES

As a pastor and as a professional psychotherapist, I’ve seen my fill of dysfunctional and crazy families.

These people are Pentecostal, but most Pentecostals would have concluded that they are nuts.

The King James Version of the Bible is the perfect infallible inerrant Word of God. (Apparently God spoke in Elizabethan English in 1611 and has not spoken since.)

This coming October will be the end of the world. The Bible proves it.

22-years-old. Motorcycle wreck. Wearing a half-helmet.

The patient is brain dead.

No he’s not, God will raise him up.

We need a third brain death exam. We think he’s still alive.

He chose to be an organ donor.

We changed our minds. No donation. (This after medical teams had flown in from New York and Cleveland.)

How long will he be in surgery? Five hours is the limit.

Chaplain, you’re dismissed.

I don’t believe he’s dead. Keep him alive!

This went on for three days.

Bad theology.

REAL LOVE

For 60 of his 65 years, the patient lived in a group home for the disabled. He had the mind of a four year old, and the sweet childlike personality to match. He fell, hit