Tips I Learned, Caregiving for My Parents

By J.L. Crawford

A boomer turns caregiver, moving back in with his parents, and shares practical and quirky tips and stories to help you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Dec 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483421575

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Crawford

Copyright © 2014 J.L. Crawford.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-2158-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-2157-5 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 12/01/2014

CONTENTS

MY INTRODUCTION TO CAREGIVING

THOSE RECEIVING CARE COME FIRST

MAKING THINGS FUN AND LIGHT

GOING TO THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

BRINGING FOOD TO THE HOSPITAL

TREATS TO THE BOARD AND CARE HOME

COMPLAINING ABOUT CARE

GETTING A FLU SHOT

PIZZA DELIVERY RESCUE

MAKING THE HOUSE SAFER

GETTING A PROPER METAL RAMP

USING A WHEELCHAIR

HAVING MORE WHEELCHAIR FUN

MAKING DRIVES FUN

OUR TIMING FOR GOING OUT

HAVING WATER IN THE CAR

USING A DISABLED PERSON PARKING PLACARD

VISION LOSS

EYEGLASSES AND SUNGLASSES

THINKING OVERSIZED

ADAPTING A TV TO WORK WITH A LAPTOP COMPUTER

OUR MEALS TIMETABLE

CUTTING FOOD

CRANBERRY JUICE, TOMATOES, AND BANANAS

TAKING OVER THE PILLS

REMOVING SCISSORS AND SHARP OBJECTS

DRESSING, GROOMING, AND PAMPERING

MAKING HANDRAILS FROM SWIMMING POOL POLES

BUYING A TALL TOILET

FINDING VITAL RECORDS

LEARNING ABOUT THE BILLS

ENTERING BANKRUPTCY

FINDING OUT ABOUT BOARD AND CARE HOMES

MOVING TO THE BOARD AND CARE HOME

MAKING THE MOVE TO A BETTER BOARD AND CARE HOME

GIVING THE ELDERLY A MOMENT OF TIME

THE VETERANS AID & ATTENDANCE BENEFIT

CREATING A LIVING TRUST AND POWER OF ATTORNEY

REVERSE MORTGAGE

BEGINNING PALLIATIVE CARE AND HOSPICE

HOSPICE CARE

NEVER SAYING HOSPICE OR MORPHINE

MAKING FINAL ARRANGEMENTS

SAYING GOODBYE

THANK YOU, FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE…

In Loving Memory of Fran and Bob

MY INTRODUCTION TO CAREGIVING

My 94-year-old mom just passed away, less than two weeks ago; I took care of her for 15 years, 24/7, the first three while my dad was alive. Later, I would move her to a Board and Care home. In the beginning of caregiving for my parents, my dad was 75 years old and my mom 78. At this stage in their lives, neither of my folks were ill but both were having health issues.

I was in my 40s then, a single man, living near the beach in Southern California, and occasionally working in the film industry. I’d been working out of state and when I returned home, it was evident that my parents were in need of help, for their own personal health issues, their house, and other things. My brother and sisters had their hands full with their own lives and families which made them unavailable. So I stepped in, and literally moved back into my parents’ lives and the home I’d grown up in for 56 years, and I became their live-in caregiver. I had never taken care of anyone. I learned a lot right from the start and all the way to the end of their lives. Caregiving has it ups and downs and, for me, it was an enriching experience.

As I begin sharing with you some of the tips I learned in my years of caregiving, I have to mention that it was not easy; there were many times of frustration, exasperation, mishaps and emergencies, and nasty things to deal with. I write this to take away any notion that everything was all peaches and cream. Caregiving is hard physically, mentally, and emotionally and caregivers get tired and worn out and can lose themselves.

I remember a friend saying, It’s family, this is family. -- I’d think of those words often when I’d question this situation that I found myself in.

My intention in writing this book is not to tell you what to do in your caregiving, but to share with you a few tips that I learned and used, how I did things. It’s my wish that you may find even just one tip here that will be helpful to you, your family, and your parent(s).

A wise repairman, who came to our house, told me, Caregivers are blessed.

THOSE RECEIVING CARE COME FIRST

Please let me share with you this philosophy I used while caring for my folks -- I put my parents first, ahead of me and anyone else in our lives. This was not always easy but it did ensure that they were never neglected or receiving poor attention, treatment, or care. This rule was really only for me to know and live by; I doubt if my parents ever knew it, it was just the way I chose to do it, a way to keep me honest.

I decided that when it came to preparing and serving meals, that the best