Revenge of the Retired Tutor

By KP Wee

Marcel Donnels was already retired. Or so he thought. However, when a gorgeous young woman showed up abruptly at his house wanting him to tutor her, he couldn't resist. After all, he was lonely and didn't mind having a little female companionship. Besides, she kissed him and he really liked it too. The relationship did end up being romantic, but would she eventually become tired of Marcel. He was, after all, twenty years older than her... How would Marcel get revenge when he found out she was cheating on him

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 6, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257416028

Book preview

BBJ.

ACT ONE

ONE

I just wanted to retire and play golf or tennis every day.

After all, I’d made a fortune years earlier in the baby safety product business. I was a pro in playing the safety card, telling parents they absolutely needed my device for the sake of their children. Don’t you want to see little Jane and Johnny protected? I’d tell them. Wouldn’t you sleep better having peace of mind? Anyway, I made lots of money making the same pitch over and over again, and was finally able to retire.

Now, I was living in Fort McMann, in a nice little house, all by myself. I’d already had this house, which was supposed to be a vacation home, for years. I was pretty much set for life and didn’t need to work again. Thus, I decided I would renovate the place, add in a library and DVD room, and make it a permanent home.

Like all rich people, I didn’t want to give up my fortune, especially not to the taxman. I’d much rather spend it all on fixing up this nice little home. Thus, my accountant had an idea when I mentioned I had plans for renovations.

Easy, he said, you’re going to pretend you’re starting a home business.

What home business? I’m retired, I retorted. I just want to wake up every morning and play golf or something. Screw this home business nonsense.

Well, you’ll save thousands of dollars by doing this, he said. Now, hear me out.

My eyes lit up when I heard the magic words about saving boatloads of money. I was skeptical, but I was willing to hear him out.

All you have to do, he went on, is think up some phony business service. You know, then print up some brochures and business cards, and then you can write off everything. Your car, computer, everything.

Now, I knew very little about tax laws. As he was saying all this, I just nodded and accepted everything he said to be the truth. He was, after all, the expert, and I wouldn’t know any better. That was why I hired him in the first place.

Just be an English tutor or something, the accountant continued. Pretend you have a tutoring service. You just put a listing in the Yellow Pages—

I believed what he was saying, but this talk of pretending—which he’d already mentioned twice—made me skeptical once again.

Is this even legit? I said, still a little unconvinced. It sounds like fraud to me.

Trust me on this, he said. The government allows you to suffer business losses for a few years, and the thing is you can use your car expenses as a business deduction. All you got to do is that brochure thing and keep a mileage log for your car—

Very odd, I thought. The government actually encouraged tax dodges like the one my accountant was suggesting. Very cool, actually.

I was eventually sold on the idea. There were lots of international students in Fort McMann, studying English in private colleges. They probably would be interested in getting a private tutor too, to brush up on their conversational skills. However, there were tons of tutors in the city, so having my name listed as one in the phone book seemed legit.

A couple years went by, and I did get several calls from potential tutor students. Each time, however, I would be nasty—in my own funny little way—and make up an excuse not to be able to be their tutor. I was smart enough not to list an email address on my ad. I didn’t have email, for one thing, and we figured that international students would be intimidated to actually pick up the phone and call up a total stranger. Had I included an email address, no doubt my inbox would be flooded with a hundred emails every week. Sending an email was a very easy task for students. But having them actually pick up the telephone and talk to an English speaker wasn’t something they were comfortable with. Among the inquiries I did get, I’d say the majority of the callers were stuttering so badly that I couldn’t hold back my laughter. Then I would respond by speaking very quickly, so that they wouldn’t understand what I was saying. Finally, I’d make up an excuse saying I was swamped with tutor students anyway. All calls would end up the same way; the students would say uh huh or uhm and then apologize for taking up my time, and then hang up. Yes, it was mean of me, but of course, this wasn’t a real business, but rather, one that was made up so I could avoid giving some of my money to the dreaded taxman.

Meanwhile, the home renovations worked out well. I had the DVD room and the library after all, and stocked them with books on golf, tennis, and chess. There were videos on golf too that I’d stocked on the shelf. I’d ordered the Golf Channel and could watch golf all day long after playing it in the morning. Life was good.