God Said, “Let There Be Humor”: And God Saw That It Was Good

By Jacob Hofman

Jacob Hofman takes you behind the scenes of the Old Testament, as never before, in this sidesplitting meditation on the Five Books of Moses. Your favorite bible stories are all here – the creation of man, the story of Noah’s Ark, the trials of Abraham, the Exodus from Egypt, the giving of the Ten Commandments, and much more – seen through the divinely skewed revelations of Jacob Hofman and illustrator, Michael Malbrough.
As if that were not enough, you’ll also find the answers to questions about the Bible you never thought to ask, such as:
• How did the splitting of the Red Sea inadvertently repel an
alien invasion?
• How did the Children of Israel respond when God took cheeseburgers off the menu?
• How did vampires react to the commandment against the consumption of blood?
God gave man the ability to both cry and to laugh, but Scripture teaches that a cheerful heart is the preferred alternative. God Said, Let There Be Humor, is a witty expression of the author’s belief that even God can take a joke.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Nov 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483409177

Book preview

God Said,

Let There Be Humor

AND GOD SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD

JACOB HOFMAN

Copyright © 2014 Jacob Hofman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-0916-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-0917-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014903828

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 07/30/2014

FOREWORD

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GOD SAID, LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE, AFTER OUR LIKENESS.

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GOD COMMANDED ADAM AND EVE NOT TO EAT OF THE FRUIT OF THE TREE IN THE CENTER OF THE GARDEN, BUT THE WOMAN PARTOOK OF THE FRUIT; AND SHE GAVE ALSO TO HER HUSBAND WITH HER AND HE ATE.

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AND ADAM’S EYES WERE OPENED, KNOWING GOOD FROM BAD.

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The woman you gave me led me astray, and caused me to eat from the tree of knowledge. Could you fashion another helper for me…uh…maybe a blonde this time?

THE MAN KNEW HIS WIFE, EVE, AND SHE CONCEIVED AND BORE CAIN. SHE GAVE BIRTH AGAIN, THIS TIME TO HIS BROTHER, ABEL. ABEL BECAME A SHEPHERD, WHILE CAIN WAS A WORKER OF THE SOIL. AFTER A PERIOD OF TIME, IT HAPPENED WHEN THEY WERE IN THE FIELD, THAT CAIN ROSE UP AGAINST HIS BROTHER AND KILLED HIM. AND GOD SAID, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? THE VOICE OF YOUR BROTHER’S BLOOD CRIES OUT TO ME FROM THE GROUND!

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My client maintains that you stacked the cards against him by creating man with an evil inclination.

CAIN LEFT GOD’S PRESENCE, AND SETTLED IN THE LAND OF NOD, EAST OF EDEN. CAIN KNEW HIS WIFE. SHE CONCEIVED AND GAVE BIRTH TO ENOCH. TO ENOCH WAS BORN IRAD. IRAD BECAME THE FATHER OF MEHUJAEL. MEHUJAEL BECAME THE FATHER OF METHUSHAEL. METHUSHAEL BECAME THE FATHER OF LAMECH.

LAMECH TOOK TWO WIVES: THE NAME OF THE FIRST ONE WAS ADAH, AND THE NAME OF THE SECOND ONE WAS ZILLAH. ADAH GAVE BIRTH TO JABAL, THE FIRST OF THOSE WHO DWELL IN TENTS AND BREED CATTLE.

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Where on earth did you get that silly hat?

THE NAME OF HIS BROTHER WAS JUBAL; HE WAS THE FIRST OF ALL THOSE WHO HANDLE THE HARP AND FLUTE.

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I call them ‘groupies.’ They are an unexpected benefit of the music we make.

AND ZILLA, TOO—SHE GAVE BIRTH TO TUBAL CAIN, WHO SHARPENED ALL CUTTING