More Ways Than One

By Layla Holmes

This is a story of lost love, and the complications caused by demons of the past. The characters will attach themselves to your heart, at the same time they will stimulate you with passionate and explicit sexual exploits. Underneath everything, lies a dark secret, and a dangerous complication to the evolving story of love and lust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781304373069

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More Ways Than One

More Ways Than One

Layla Holmes

Copyright © 2013, Layla Holmes

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN 978-1-304-37306-9

1

Fifteen years ago.

I can't believe I let you talk me into this! I say between clenched teeth while giving Jess an eye roll. 

Oh, come on, Amie, it's going to be fun.  And maybe, if we're lucky, we can score some beer., Jess offered in her defense.

Well that is the only reason I even let you talk me into this, Jess.

Besides, Amie, 'you know who' will be there.

I looked at Jess and rolled my eyes again.  She is the only person who knows me and truly understands just how messed up I really am.  She is the only person who knows how totally fucked up the last three months of my life have been.  She also knew how much I liked Thomas, and that I would probably never feel like that about any other person.

This was the big, annual event held in our town.  The big kick off before the tourists and the summer people start to invade our small Lake Erie town.  I really didn't want to go, but I knew that I owed this to Jess.  When we walked into the school gymnasium, Jess said, Isn't this great?  And, just like I thought, Yep, the whole flippin' town.  Everyone.

My credit to Jess, though.  Thomas was here, just like she said he would be.  If I had known better, I would have thought that she promised him that she would bring me.  No, she wouldn't do that to me.  She knows what I have been going through.  Besides, she knew that now was not the right time to push me into anything, let alone anything with Thomas.  She knew I couldn't let him in right now.  It just wasn't the right time.  Not in view of how fucked up I was.

Jess was all giddy, Wow.  Look how great this is!  Everyone is here!

Yeah, everyone, I said in my most sarcastic tone.

The music was loud, and the lights were low.  Maybe that's a good thing, for me.  I could just hide in the corner, and no one would ever see me.

Jess was dancing near me, wanting to go out on the dance floor.

Jess, go.

What??, she asked.

Go dance.

Not without you, Amie.

Please, Jess, don't do that to me. Seriously, I will be okay.  Go.  Have fun while you can.  Look. All of your friends are out there.

You, are my friend, Amie.

I touched her on the arm.  Jess, I really, really appreciate that.  You are my best friend.  But please go and dance.  I will be fine.

You're sure?

Yes.  And with a quick hug from Jess, she was gone.  I watched her with a group of kids from school.  I found a corner to sit in as I watched Jess dancing and jumping up and down in time with the music.

Would I ever be happy again?  Would I ever be able to do what Jess is doing?  One thing I couldn't deny Jess is this:  she's kept me alive for the last three months.  I don't know what I would have done if Jess's family hadn't stepped in to take care of me.  They took me in and treated me as if nothing had happened.  They knew that I could crack at any minute, but they never hesitated to make me feel welcome.  How many nights did I climb into bed with Jess?  When I knew I couldn't bear to sleep alone.  When the nightmares got to be too much.  Jess never hesitated to let me climb into bed with her.  She knew I was alone.  She knew that I couldn't turn to anyone else.  They were what a family was supposed to be.  Jess's parents and her older brother, Eric, were so good to me.

I sat in the corner wondering how I could ever repay them for all of their kindness and generosity.  What the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life?  I can't stay with the O'Malleys forever.  Jess will be leaving for college soon and I have no plans for my future.  I have no plans for the rest of my life.

When the music stopped, I looked up from my thoughts.  The singer of the band on stage said, We have a special treat for everybody tonight!  Somebody we've been looking forward to have sing with us tonight!  So, everybody, let's make some noise for Tommy Monroe!  The crowd went wild, and everyone was screaming for Thomas.

I stood up on my chair in the corner, because I had to get the whole view of this.  No matter how I was feeling right now, I had to see this.  I was so happy for Thomas.  Everyone in town knew that Thomas was a great singer.  He had a deep, husky, sexy voice.  I watched him take the stage, and the singer from the band gave him a slap on the back.  God, he was beautifully handsome.  He was tall, and lean and sinewy, with dark, wavy hair that matched his dark eyes.  Thomas grabbed the microphone and said, Hey everyone, are you having a good time tonight?!  Of course, the crowd went wild again.  Well, I'm going to sing one of my favorites tonight, and I hope you all like it. 

I laughed to myself, because I knew what the song was before the band even started to play.  I knew what his favorite song was.  How many times had Jess and I heard that song in his car?  How many times had we heard him sing it?

"After midnight....

we're gonna let it all hang out"

He looked so at ease on the stage.  He danced around, drawing you in with his voice.  His voice was sexy and alive.  Everyone ran to the stage to get a closer look at Thomas.  The girls were all screaming and jumping up and down.  I just stood on the chair admiring him.  The crowd went crazy as he finished, chanting encore, encore.  Screaming for one more song from Thomas.  As he looked out into the crowd, he spotted me standing on my chair.  He looked right at me as he spoke.

Well, this next song is going out to a good friend of mine.

I knew he meant me.  Everyone probably knew that it was for me.  Everyone knew we were friends.  It was always Thomas, Jess, and me.  But Thomas wanted more, and maybe I did too.  But that was before.

I had to be clear with him.  We were never going to be together.  Yes, I liked him, maybe I even loved him, but do you really know what love is at eighteen years old?  Hell, I know that I didn't know.  But I did know that I was now incapable of loving anyone.  I'm really not sure if I was capable before everything fell apart three months ago.  However, I was sure that I wouldn't hurt Thomas.  That's why I needed to be honest with him.  I watched him sing right to me.  My song, my favorite song.

"Bell bottom blues...

they make me cry"

When the song was over, I sat on my chair, numb from Thomas's stare.  His voice.  Wondering what would have happened if my life hadn't been turned upside down three months ago.  The singer of the band said, Let's give it up for Tommy Monroe!  Now we're going to slow it down, so everyone grab your wife or girlfriend or lover.  I saw Jessica and Matt grab each other and start to dance.  I was just about to get up to leave when I felt somebody grab my arm.  Automatically, I pulled away.  I wasn't the most popular person in town.  I was always a smart mouthed brat, but in light of what happened three months ago my defenses have sky-rocketed.  When I turned to look at who it was, I was looking up at Thomas.

Oh, I'm sorry, Amelia.  I didn't mean to scare you.

You didn't, Thomas.  I'm sorry.  You were amazing up there tonight.

Thomas's face lit up.  Thank you, Amelia.  You know that song was for you.

Yes, of course I know that.  And it was great.

Would you like to dance?

Ummm … No.  I don't want to go out there with all those people.

Okay.  Then how about right here in this corner?

Before I could object, before I could say no or leave me alone, his hands were on my waist pulling me into him.  He was so much taller than me, and I loved that.  I stretched to put my arms around his neck.  We didn't say anything at first.  He smelled so good.  He was so gorgeous.  I knew that he could have any girl he wanted, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why he was dancing with me.  Even before three months ago, I could never understand why he always wanted to be with me.

I haven't seen you around much.

Well I've been busy.

He eyed me like I was lying to him.  I was, of course, lying to him.  I had been busy doing nothing but trying to stay out of the public eye.

Well I've missed hanging out.

I just shook my head and looked down.

Amelia, I'm here for you.  Why won't you let me help you?  We're friends, and I …

Don't Thomas!  Don't ruin this!

He must have known that he pushed me just a little too much because he didn't say anything.  Continuing to dance, we moved in a slow circle.  He pulled me closer and leaned in, mouth to my ear.  I could feel his breath on my ear.  It gave me chills.

Amelia, he whispered in my ear, I really am here for you.

My body stiffened and I didn't say anything.  How could he possibly understand what I was going through?  He had no idea the hell that I was in.  I would never burden him with that.  Thomas was a good person who didn't need to be tainted by me.

I looked up into his eyes.  I wanted to tell him to just forget about me, and find someone else, but I knew what he wanted.  He wanted a normal life, with a wife and kids, but I could never be that for him.  Not now.  He was looking at me, and I knew what he was thinking and what he was going to do next.  His face was moving closer to mine.  He closed his eyes, and the light touch of his lips barely grazed mine.  I pulled away. 

I'm sorry, Thomas.  I can't.  I just can't.

Then I turned and ran.  I ran right out of the gym, never looking back.  I must have run five miles before I stopped and fell to the ground, knowing what I had to do.  I had to leave.

2

I sat in my office staring at the framed picture of Jessica and me.  It was from the day  we graduated, fifteen years ago.

Come on Amie!  You owe me.  The phone started sweating in my hand.  You didn't even come to my wedding!

Ummm … Jess, do I need to remind you that you eloped?  You took off to Vegas and got married in your car at the drive-thru wedding chapel.

Okay, okay. Amie.  You got me there.  But you need to come!  You are Ellie's godmother, and the godmother needs to be at her goddaughter's baptism!

I knew that tone.  The I'm not joking, Amie tone.  I knew how much this meant to Jess.  It had taken Mitchell and her eight years to have this baby.  After three miscarriages and countless trips all over the country to every specialist known.  The in vitro and all the money spent.  Then, ironically, Jessica got blessed by finally getting pregnant all on her own.  A miracle the doctors said. 

Jessica and Mitchell have been married for ten years, and they are truly in love.  They give people like me a reason to believe that all marriages aren't hoaxes.  I was so happy for both of them when baby Ellie was born.  They deserved happiness.  Jess will be a wonderful mother.  She will attend to all of baby Ellie's needs.  Not only will Jess love and care for Ellie, but she will be that mom.  The mom who throws huge birthday parties every year.  The mom who bakes.  The mom who will also embarrass Ellie, but only in a fun way.  All of Ellie's friends will love Jess and tell Ellie that she has the coolest mom.  However, Jess remembers the crazy things she did in her teenage years, so it's unlikely that Ellie will be able to get away with anything.  Mitchell, who adores his wife Jessica, will also adore his daughter. 

Okay, Jess.  When do I have to let you know?

RIGHT NOW!, Jess yelled back into the phone.

Oh, Jess, I need some time to think.

Damn it, Amie!  You listen to me.  It has been fifteen years!  Let it go for God's sake!  You're a brilliant woman.  You have made a great life for yourself and you need to let the past be in the past.

You do know, Jess, if I were talking to anyone else right now, I would have hung up a while ago.  But, because it's you, my wonderful best friend, whom I adore more than anything, I won't do that.  Jess knew I was teasing.  However, since you are the only person in the world who I love, I will come.

YAY!, Jess screamed into the phone, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear to save my hearing.  I can't wait to tell Mom and Dad that you are coming!  Oh, and wait until I tell Eric, he's going to FLIP!  I'M SO EXCITED!

Shit, what have I got myself into?  Hey, Jess, do me a favor, please.  Let's just keep this information on the 'down low', okay?

Sure, Amie.

I just don't want a lot of people knowing that I'll be back in town.

Okay, Amie.  I understand.

Thank you, I whispered into the phone.

3

.I sat in my chair, staring out the window, looking at the city skyline.  I sit, thinking, and wondering if I could forget about the past, and if the past has forgotten about me.  I know they say that time heals old wounds, but what my parents had done caused the kinds of wounds that leave permanent scars.  I know that I shouldn't feel like the one responsible for what my parents had done, I'm the one left with the guilt and humiliation.  On top of that, I'd left Thomas, that night fifteen years ago, but who am I to think he's still in Ohio pining over me.  I'm sure by now he's moved on.  I know that Jess has stayed in contact with him over the last fifteen years, but we don't talk about Thomas when we talk.  I won't allow myself to ask Jess about him.  I don't want to know that he's moved on with his life.

I don't really know how long I had been sitting, staring out my office