Slayer of Mastodons, an Ice Age Alcoholic Fantasy

By Burr Cook

A Man in an alcoholic coma has a fantasy dream remembering adventures experienced by ancient ancestors caught up in the approaching ice age. He takes some of his modern knowledge with him into the past and becomes a slayer of mastodons. This is a fast moving adventure story with a little romance as well. Can be easily read in one sitting.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 9, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312500594

Book preview

Slayer of Mastodons, an Ice Age Alcoholic Fantasy

Slayer of Mastodons, an Ice Age Alcoholic Fantasy

Copyright 2014 Burr Cook

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-1-312-50059-4

Preface

I got the idea for this story while browsing the World Wide Web late one evening. I have forgotten what I was looking for but it had no relation to what I found. They say seek and you shall find. This is true in most instances, but on the web the saying should be – seek and you shall find just about everything except what you’re looking for.

So I ran across an article on global warming and how the melting glaciers in the arctic that have not melted for over 2 million years, are revealing some astounding facts. The first that struck me was that the last ice age, which occurred a little over ten thousand years ago happened not at all the way it was thought. The old theory was that it occurred over a period of thousands of years with the ice slowly moving south. What amazed me was that many scientists now believe that it happened all within about six months. Also they have found that the periods between ice ages are far shorter than the ice ages themselves.

There is no way of knowing how people communicated prior to the last ice age. Obviously they communicated. They came up with some very well made tools although they had no metals, only rock and wood. They certainly could produce some weapons as they were able to kill large animals including not only bison but wooly mammoths and mastodons. This required language of some kind as cooperation would have been necessary.

I recently read a book by Jack London about the ancestors of modern man. It dealt with people who lived in trees and had just recently learned to stand on two feet. I believe that they still had tails. I can’t remember the book’s title but it’s not important. The idea that I wanted to borrow from it was that it could be that memories of the lives of our ancestors still exist. I don’t know if that is a possibility or not but it could be that some of these memories exist along side of memories of current events.

So utilizing these premises I have invented a story. It is almost completely unscientific. It is my conception of pre-ice age history. And of course I have used modern day language to describe things ancient.

In my story a man in an alcoholic coma has a fantasy dream about living in the Ice Age.

Prolog

John Baff awoke briefly from his coma like condition and found that he was stretched out in the back of a van or SUV like vehicle. He did not recognize the driver. So he asked who’re you.

My name’s Rob.

Rob what?

Just Rob is enough for now. I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Your wife called us. The fellow next to me is Bill.

I used to go to those stupid meetings, Guys.

Why did you stop, John? Bill asked.

I got drunk.

Yes, I can tell. Your wife is a little upset about that.

John passed out again for a while and after several minutes he came around. My wife wants a divorce.

What about you John do you want a divorce?

I’m too drunk to think about it right now. But when I’m sober I love my wife. She was my first teen age crush. Then there was silence again while John slept. The next time he awoke he asked; Where’re we going, Rob Whatever?

We’re going to the hospital emergency room. You were experiencing the DTs, delirium tremens. Next to you back there you’ll find a bottle with a couple ounces of vodka in it. You can drink it if you feel the need. We’ll be driving for the next half hour.

John uncorked the bottle drank it down and lay unresponsive but half aware of his surroundings. He heard the AA guys talking but could not say any more himself.

Rob suddenly jammed on the brakes. What the hell was that? He asked.

A pair of coyotes just ran across the road. Bill replied as Rob gained control of the vehicle.

It must be mating season. Rob responded.

No Rob, coyotes mate for life.

It’s too bad more people don’t follow their lead. Most all of my group members are divorced.

That includes me Rob. Coyotes are one of the few animals that choose life long mates. Animals with that particular trait make up a very short list. It includes gibbons, wolves and swans as well.

Bill was a teacher and had recently been studying the ice ages so he added one more animal to the list and that was the extinct mastodon. Bill went on about his interest in the prehistoric beasts. Rob had little interest in the topic but let Bill go on expounding while he concentrated on driving.

When they reached the hospital they noticed that John had slipped back into oblivion. They drove up to the emergency entrance and waited while two interns wheeled Mr. Baff inside on a gurney. John was a large man and not so easy to carry. He was not obese however. In fact he was far from it. He was very muscular and looked like he was in good health if not for the drinking. One of the interns asked What seems to be the problem with Mr. Baff?

Bill replied he’s apparently in an alcoholic coma.

As they were wheeling Mr. John Baff through the door Bill called out to him. "We’ll be back to see you in