In My Shoes: My Poetic Journey from Abuse to Victory

By Lyn Crain

In the 1950s, the phrase “confessional poetry” gained popularity initially with Robert Lowell, Sylvia Plath, and Anne Sexton. This form of the written word gave artists a way to discuss private, painful events in their own lives without actually sharing every minute detail with the world.

In My Shoes poetically portrays Lyn Crain’s journey through cancer, as well as physical and emotional abuse. Her poetry is written from the heart and can be titillating or terrifying in a world that is often more black than white. Crain felt the need to use her voice to share her story and, in turn, open the discussion for women suffering under similar circumstances.

Crain is grateful that domestic violence is not a taboo subject anymore, however very few poets have addressed the subject in any length. Silence enables, but by raising voices, it is possible to also raise awareness that domestic violence will no longer be accepted as the norm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jul 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781483454658

Book preview

In My

Shoes

My Poetic Journey from Abuse to Victory

LYN CRAIN

Copyright © 2016 Lyn Crain.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-5466-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-5464-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-5465-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016911027

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

First Printing: 2016

Crain Associates Publishers LLC

300 Carnegie Center, Suite 300

Princeton, NJ 08540

lyncrain.com

Crain Associates Publishers LLC rev. date: 7/21/2016

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgements

In the Beginning

The First Time

April Day

The Vow and His Fist

Isolated Control

Marriage

If I Wanted an Opinion

Over a Book

The Happy Face Disguise

Did It Again

She’ll Try Harder

Words

I’m So Stupid

You Pray

Panic

The Tricycle

She Doesn’t Deserve Better

Regrouping

Withered Smile

Pseudotaph to Marital Trust

Lies Your Husband Told You

Abort … No Way

Battered Until the Day She Died

Unimaginable Horror

Who Protects the Child?

Resistance

Epitaph to a Marriage

Pseudotaph to Us

Struggle to Survive

Contemplation

The Day the Writer Died

Harmonium

Cemetery in Her Mind

Red and Black

Garden Escape

Black Glove

Loneliness

Babble Along Alone

Thinking along Different Lines

Haunts Me

The Whispering Locket

Death

Complacency

Oblivious

Drink Up

Signs, Everywhere Signs

The Monster

I’ll Change

Don’t Get Involved

Elements of Abuse

Marriage with My Abuser

Once-Approved Behavior

Ode to the Abuser

Why Are You So Angry All the Time?

Proud Banner of the Abuse

Hey, Bully

Time-Controlling Man

Twisted Drama

Big Man

Rationalization

Myth versus Victory

Victim

Misplaced Boundary

Not Aduaine to Me

What We Know

Momma, Teach Them Right

Take Time to Know Him

Let Me Go

Freedom

Her Survival Poetry

Single Again

Meeting an Old Friend

Is It Time to Go?

You Can Do This

Poetic Night Writing

Life Is More

Life after Abuse

Once a Victim/Now a Survivor

Desperate No More!

Standing Strong

Lyn’s Sayings

Revelation, I Can Be Free

Beginning Again

Anticipation of Spring

This Is My Rendition

Age in Lyn’s Eyes

To my family and friends who have supported me in this writing journey.

You know who you are!

To Quasi, Purryl, Yeatsie, and Macavity, thank you for keeping my lap warm as I thought and wrote!

I love you all!

Preface

Life is about overcoming obstacles to find your calling and the person you are meant to be. Everyone has this struggle. Most are silent about it. Some have more challenges than others