The Way of the Pleasure Slave: Erotic Slavehood for the Submissive Woman

By Andrew James

From the author of MISS ABERNATHY'S CONCISE SLAVE TRAINING MANUAL comes a new guide to consensual erotic slavehood for submissive women and the Dominants who love them. THE WAY OF THE PLEASURE SLAVE explores all aspects of this distinctive relationship style: Moving from fantasy to reality ~ Training in the erotic arts ~ Fostering emotional transparency ~ Developing pleasure-focused protocols ~ Overcoming obstacles ~ Connecting with the M/s community. As you work through this practical, down-to-earth guide, you will gain the skills to craft a healthy and fulfilling Master/slave relationship that puts pleasure at the center.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9780359825387

Andrew James

Andrew James wrote this book to help express the views of millions of hard working Americans whose voices would otherwise never be heard.  For those who work the hardest in America lack the time to adequately convey their grievances against excessive taxation, while those who work the least possess ample time to enact governmental change at the expense of the producer.   James is a graduate of the State University of New York at Marcy where he graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in business management and marketing.  His graduate work was completed at Syracuse University.  He writes in the pseudonym to prevent government persecution for his views.

Book preview

The Way of the Pleasure Slave: Erotic Slavehood for the Submissive Woman

The Way of the Pleasure Slave

Erotic Slavehood for the Submissive Woman

Andrew James

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Alfred Press

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Hubbardston, MA 01452

The Way of the Pleasure Slave

The Way of the Pleasure Slave:

Erotic Slavehood for the Submissive Woman

© 2019 Andrew James

ISBN 978-0-359-82538-7

Disclaimer: Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. The contents of this book are not a substitute for medical, psychological, legal, or any other type of professional advice.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any

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the author.

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Stranger, here you will do well to tarry;

here our highest good is pleasure.

– Sign at the garden of Epicurus

My sincere thanks go to the members of MAsT: Massachusetts for their friendship and support. I am especially grateful to the good people at Alfred Press for shepherding this book into print.

This book is dedicated to my girl, Anne.

mi olin e sina, meli lili mi o.

Preface

It has been more than twenty years since my last book on erotic slavehood, Training with Miss Abernathy, appeared. During that time, I have often thought of expanding on ideas I was only able to sketch briefly in that book. Specifically, I wanted to explore in greater depth some of the Area Studies (slave specializations) I outlined there. The time has finally come to fulfill that desire.

At the time I wrote the first Miss Abernathy title, there were all of two books available on contemporary consensual slavery, and both were written by and for gay Leathermen. A number of excellent books on SM technique touched on D/s role play, and of course, there was plenty of good, bad, and indifferent kinky porn. But no pansexual or pangender guides to authority exchange existed, nor could I find any discussions of how any of this might look for people who did not identify with the Leather subculture. That was the niche Miss Abernathy was meant to fill.[i]

In the intervening years, the literature and public discourse on D/s and M/s has burgeoned and now includes a wider range of voices and perspectives. Dr. Bob Rubel has explored the distinctive features of M/s relationships and shared his experience about how to make them work from both sides of the slash. Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny have contributed a small library's worth of books on service, relationship dynamics, disability, spirituality, transgender issues, and the many styles of M/s. MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) hosts more than a hundred peer-support groups worldwide for people involved with or interested in M/s and D/s relationships. M/s titleholders and educators teach workshops nearly every weekend in cities around the United States and abroad.

Most discussions about M/s and D/s focus on improving our relationships through better communication, more transparency, and greater authenticity. This is all to the good. What we don't often talk about is the nuts and bolts of how M-types train our s-types to serve us. For some, formal training is virtually nonexistent; the prime directive to obey Master covers all the necessary ground. For others, training is mostly a matter of the s-type learning the M-type's preferences and then acting accordingly. It's not unusual to hear M/s couples say that their relationship is very much like a marriage in this regard, except that they've taken the time and trouble to spell out the details rather than falling into whatever assumptions or patterns they brought with them to the relationship. In cases like these, training is almost treated as a game for novices and dilettantes. I once heard a Master advise a new M-type to Google some slave positions to keep his new s-type busy until she figured out that what he really wanted was a good home-cooked meal and regular blowjobs.

We also don't talk a lot about the different ways slaves can serve. My girl and wife, Anne, posted to a Fetlife group for female slaves, asking about their service roles. What kind of slave are you? she asked. Her question was met with consternation, if not outright hostility. I'm just a slave. I do what he says. That's all. A little more probing revealed that these women spent most of their time on domestic duties: housekeeping, running errands, and childcare. Some also had jobs outside the home. Anyone who has read my earlier books knows that I have great respect for domestic service. I have also spent much of the last two decades as a stay-at-home dad, so I do not idealize homemaking or parenting. But the women who were the most offended by Anne’s question were—not coincidentally, I think—the least satisfied with their lives. I was left wondering if perhaps they were better suited to a different type of service, one that would make their hearts sing a little more often.

Finally, we don't talk much about the fact that part of the appeal of authority-based relationships is that they’re hot. We are quick to say that M/s isn’t about sex, and it’s true that not every M/s relationship has a sexual element. But surely most do. Again and again, I see bedroom slavery judged as a lesser form of kink. I see definitions of M/s that would deny that bedroom slaves are slaves at all, simply because their area of service seems too limited, too specialized. It is as if we were unwilling to call a cardiologist a doctor because real doctors are general practitioners. In our haste to distinguish between role play and Total Power Exchange, we've lost sight of the fact that what may start out as a limited role has the potential to become a fully developed identity.

Because eroticism is a key element in my own M/s dynamic (as I suspect it is for many others) and because I have long championed erotic service as a noble vocation, I hope this book starts a discussion about how sexual service works in the context of real-life, 24/7 M/s relationships.

This is not a 101-level book. I have made a number of assumptions about you as a reader.

     You are a competent and consenting adult who can reliably distinguish between fantasy and reality.

     You have read at least a few books by other people in the M/s lifestyle. (See the Further Reading section at the end of this preface for some recommendations.)

     You are familiar with the idea of authority-based relationships and are either involved in one or actively looking for one.

     If you are currently in an authority-based relationship, it is in person, not exclusively online.

     You understand the distinction between BDSM activities and M/s or D/s relationship paradigms. You know that not all M/s relationships involve BDSM.

     You may not be connected to the wider M/s community right now, but you are at least open to the possibility of real-world contact with other lifestyle people.

This book is addressed to submissive women, whether cis- or transgender, and to M-types of any gender who love them. When referring to s-types, I use she/her/hers pronouns. For M-types, I use the singular they/them/theirs.

My focus on submissive women is not meant to slight submissive men or nonbinary people, nor do references to traditionally feminine gender presentation mean that there aren’t other ways of being a pleasure slave. I'm a queer trans man with a femme slavegirl, and I’m simply bowing to the old adage to write what you know. I would be delighted if other people wrote about pleasure-focused M/s for other combinations of genders and orientations. That said, most of what I suggest here has little to do with gender or aesthetics and everything to do with attitude. A few training suggestions are specific to cis-female anatomy, but I trust savvy readers to adapt wherever necessary and to leave aside material that doesn’t suit their needs.

It’s the nature of how-to books to be prescriptive—and God knows I have no problem telling people what to do!—but there are no M/s police. If you and your partner are safe, happy, and thriving, that’s what counts. If anyone tries to tell you you’re doing it wrong because you aren’t conforming to their idea of the one twue way, you can safely ignore them.

You will find a full glossary of terms at the end of the book.

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[i] For more on the history of contemporary M/s literature, see Hitting the Books: M/s training and education manuals by Andrea Zanin, in: Peter Tupper, ed., Our Lives, Our History: Consensual Master/slave relationships from ancient times to the 21st century (New York: Perfectbound Press, 2016), pp. 225-243.

Further Reading

     Christina Abernathy, Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus (Greenery Press, 2007).

     Kacie Cunningham, Conquer Me: Girl-to-girl wisdom about fulfilling your submissive desires (Greenery Press, 2010).

     Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams, Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities (Greenery Press, 2013).

     Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny, Dear Raven and Joshua (Alfred Press, 2013).

     Tristan Taormino, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge (Cleis Press, 2012).

     Peter Tupper, ed., Our Lives, Our History: Consensual Master/slave relationships from ancient times to the 21st century (Perfectbound Press, 2016).

Chapter 1: The Pleasure Principle

What exactly are we talking about when we say the words pleasure slave? How is a pleasure slave different from other s-types? Since we can assume that most consensual slaves provide sexual service, is it even necessary to create a whole special category for sexual servants?

This chapter covers three main topics: the distinctive role and qualities of the pleasure slave; the philosophy that underlies pleasure-focused dynamics, known as Enlightened Hedonism; and the hallmarks of pleasure-focused M/s. These discussions will help you determine if a pleasure-focused dynamic is right for you and will set the stage for the rest of this book.

Defining Our Terms: What Is a Pleasure Slave?

A pleasure slave is a specialized s-type whose primary role is to provide erotic pleasure to her M-type. She strives to increase her M-type’s physical and emotional well-being, and her own, through their shared experience of pleasure.

Authority Exchange: Pleasure Slave

A pleasure slave is an s-type in a negotiated, consensual authority-based relationship.[ii] By entering into that relationship with an M-type, she has unilaterally transferred authority to that person to direct all areas of her life. This transfer of authority lies at the heart of what it means to be a consensual slave in the M/s lifestyle. It is what distinguishes M/s from D/s (which is limited by time or scope), and authority-based personal relationships from egalitarian ones.

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[ii] Although submissives can fulfill the pleasure slave role at any level of commitment, this book focuses on 24/7, live-in M/s relationships.

A Specialized Role: Pleasure Slave

Although the pleasure slave has transferred authority over her life to her M-type and may perform a variety of tasks, her personal development is focused on one specific area of expertise: the erotic arts. Not all M/s relationships include sex between the M- and s-type—a fact that surprises newcomers or outsiders to the community—and even in those that allow for it, sex may not be particularly important. For the pleasure slave, it