Insane Plight to Deliverance: Based On a True Story

By Lola Promdi Bukid

This book is based on the true story of a woman who was driven and goal-oriented. In her late forties, she suffered a nervous breakdown and lost everything she had worked hard for and the people she loved. Her husband died, and her loss of sanity pushed the affection of her only child away from her. She spiraled into a deep depression she was not aware of. With all hope lost, she attempted suicide several times. However, after many years of despair, the Lord touched her life, and she was given a chance for a new beginning—and many wondrous events happened thereafter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Oct 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781684710584

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BUKID

Copyright © 2019 LOLA PROMDI BUKID.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

ISBN: 978-1-6847-1057-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6847-1059-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6847-1058-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019914358

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date:  09/27/2019

Dedicated to Enteng, a wonderful and beloved son

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank God for walking with me in life. I would also like to extend my gratitude to my deceased partners and loves of my life; my family and friends; and even my adversaries and persecutors, who inspired me to write a beautiful and inspiring saga. I am grateful to everyone who molded the way I am today.

I acknowledge also my eternal appreciation to my spiritual mentors: Pastors John and Paul; my Bible Church family, who have been supportive and have been my inspiration; and my Good Samaritan, George. I want to give a special mention to my equally wacky friends Ringga and Chacha, who stood by me amid all the insanity; my tolerant and dedicated psychiatrist and therapist; and my dear childhood friend and classmate who helped me link to old friends and family through Facebook and basically opened a new technological world for me. Last but not least, thanks to my loving and dependable friends from Christian Bikers for Christ, with whom I’ve shared memorable, enjoyable experiences. You all know who you are.

I also want to take a moment to promote the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) and their programs, which I continually support. This organization has been an important instrument in my development and achievement of coping skills to live a normal life. Special thanks too to my NAMI friends who have moved on to the next life for their genuine friendships. I value the lessons I’ve learned about humility, sincerity, and avoidance of being judgmental by my association with them.

Most importantly, I recognize an earnest gratitude to God forever.

Introduction

People from all walks of life are afflicted with various diseases or disorders during their lifetime. Some medical problems can be genetic, such as cancer, diabetes, heart problems, and many others. Mental illness is one disorder that can be traced to one’s family medical history. But why is mental illness associated with so many stigmas? When a person has diabetes or any other medical problem in a family, there is open acceptance. However, when mental illness is in the bloodline, there seems to be an insinuated disgrace. Thus, people deny that such a disorder could run in the family, though tracing the bloodline could help in detecting the problem in the early stages and avoid a full-blown breakdown.

This book contains my true-to-life experiences and struggles with mental illness. It is a depiction of my unimaginable journey of trials and tribulations and, ultimately, recovery. The story also illustrates how the ordeals I suffered are interwoven with God’s plan for me. It demonstrates the importance of God’s role in my ultimate redemption.

It is an objective of mine to change people’s negative attitudes regarding mental illness. It is also my goal to encourage my readers, especially those with mental disorders, to embrace their illnesses and seek help. I want to inspire my readers to face their struggles, jump the hurdles, and never lose faith, because no matter how desperate a situation might seem, ultimately, there is hope on the horizon. Furthermore, it is my intent to use this book as a means to enlighten others on the truth about the circumstances in my life. It is imperative that people can distinguish the truth surrounding the events from the misinformation fed to them when they jumped to their conclusions.

Being told that my disorder is genetic, I traced back the history of mental illness in my family on my mother’s side. Despite the stigma and the inclination to keep the information private, I opted to divulge it to prove that there is no shame in having this illness in my heredity. In fact, the more open I am about it, the more therapeutic it feels for me. I want to share that sense of healing with others who suffer from mental disorders. Moreover, I’ll attempt to impart to the general public a better understanding of mental illness. With proper treatment and medication, the mentally disabled can be as normal as any other person.

I’ve included chapters about my travels to manifest my appreciation for various sites, especially in the United States. God has blessed the United States with much beauty. The country’s breathtaking natural loveliness displays God’s artistic creations. I hope my readers will also be encouraged to visit and appreciate what I have seen and optimistically enjoy God’s creation as I do.

The characters’ names are fictional to protect the real individuals’ identities. Some locations mentioned are also fabricated to safeguard any connection of some characters from detection. Moreover, I attest that this manuscript contains an accurate English translation of any and all foreign-language text included in the book.

Chapter 1

Family Roots

It was August 15, 2013. Alas, the day had arrived. Katza had been away from home for more than two months. She took pleasure in staying away from Butcherfield’s hot summer. The Danish summer was like spring back home. Spending time with her younger sister, Angelique, and her husband, Lars Jensen, was a bonus. The Jensens lived in a lovely three-level brick home in a city situated in the north of Denmark. Their house was surrounded by a huge garden where various fine-looking flowers bloomed. At the end of their street was a lush forest where it was safe to take a walk or jog. During her stay with the Jensens, Cushie, the family dog, had bonded with Katza. It was a pleasure to walk Cushie to the forest and, at the same time, get the daily exercise Katza needed. The civic and shopping centers were also within walking distance. The city hall, post office, library, gym, train station, and various shops and restaurants were easily accessible. There was also no language barrier. Most Danes spoke English and were friendly.

Katza considered Angelique’s house her summer home. Ever since she’d recovered from mental illness, she’d promised herself she’d make a yearly pilgrimage to Denmark. It was a great way to escape the scorching summer heat in California’s San Joaquin Valley. It was also an ideal summer vacation destination, where accommodations and food were free. Moreover, it was a splendid chance to bond with her favorite sister and her nieces. Furthermore, Lars was a great cook and culinary artist. Having dinner with them was always like a fine-dining experience in an expensive restaurant.

But all good things had to end. It was time for Katza to go home and be with her Cookie, the adorable Labrador pit bull mix she had adopted. Katza had difficulty sleeping without snuggling up next to Cookie. Cushie was a good substitute, but Katza had to lure her to go to bed with her each night, and Cushie escaped every chance she could. However, last night, Cushie had snuggled with Katza all night long. It seemed the dog sensed that her new favorite person was leaving soon.

Katza’s flight was at 7:00 a.m. She needed to be at the airport at least two hours before the flight. She had taken her meds early last night in order to be up and coherent by four o’clock. At half past the hour, she and Angelique were on the road. It was a relaxing drive. Greater Copenhagen’s highways were so deserted during those wee hours that one could have played hopscotch in the middle of the road without fear of getting run over.

After Katza checked in her luggage, the sisters casually bid goodbye. They knew they would see each other again soon. What a nice, comforting feeling that was for both of them. A few years back, Katza had been mentally sick, and Angelique had been unable to connect with her. But now they visited each other across the globe as though they were next-door neighbors.

One of Katza’s favorite biblical passages came to mind, Romans 5:3–4 (NIV): Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. About a decade ago, she would not have even dreamed of her current lifestyle. She envisioned herself striding aimlessly in the streets, grabbing shopping carts to push instead of chasing planes to catch. She had come a long way and jumped a number of hurdles to be what she was today. In the past, she had not understood what that verse meant. But now she realized that it was true. All the sacrificial endeavors she’d endured had made her a better and more confident person. They also had opened a whole new perspective on life.

Katza had to change planes at Heathrow in London. Last year, the connecting flight to Los Angeles had been delayed for four hours, but Katza knew how to entertain herself to fight boredom, so this time, it would not bother her if her flight was late. However, this connecting flight for Los Angeles was on time. In fact, when her plane from Copenhagen arrived in London, the plane for Los Angeles was already boarding passengers. Her heart rapidly pumped as she walked briskly to the departure gate.

Katza had traveled by plane many times, and she always requested a window seat. Watching the earth below during every takeoff and landing was a constant thrill for her. Also, soaring above the clouds was like touching God’s magnificence. She could spend hours just gazing at the clouds, which seemed like patches of cotton balls, especially on a long daylight flight. The nighttime trip to Denmark took a lot less effort.

After the flight attendants served dinner, Katza took her evening medications, which put her to sleep. By the time she awoke, the plane was about to land. However, she needed to board a morning flight back to California to make it in time to catch the bus from Los Angeles that took her to Butcherfield the same day. The two hundred milligrams of Zoloft she had taken in the morning helped to perk up her spirits for the long trip home. This time, she’d also made sure to pack all her medications in her carry-on bag. She’d made the mistake once of putting them in her checked luggage en route to Denmark. Her plane had arrived on time, but her suitcase had followed after several days. Luckily, she’d had a week’s supply in her purse. Otherwise, she would have been a nervous wreck.

It was time for Katza to return to the United States. She only had a two-day supply of medication and needed a refill. That was the problem with being a psychiatric case: one had to take meds regularly to feel normal, whatever normal meant. Katza was no exception. For a long time, she had been leery of taking psychotropic and sleeping drugs, for fear of becoming addicted. But if taking them was necessary to be able to function well, Katza did not mind being on them forever.

The plane landed as scheduled. Katza rushed to collect her luggage. This time, she had nothing prohibited to bring into the country. She’d learned her lesson. Last year, she’d made the mistake of bringing with her unfinished food. She had been stopped at the customs point, and all her bags and suitcases had been opened and searched. She then had had barely enough time to catch the airport bus to Butcherfield by the time she repacked all her belongings. This time, it was a breeze. She had nothing to declare at customs. She just slowly strolled out toward the arrival section of the airport and waited at the airport bus terminal.

Katza waited more than an hour before the airport bus for Butcherfield arrived. She was exhausted and hungry. The bus terminal was just a concrete bench by the curb. There was no kiosk nearby to buy snacks or drinks. Katza would not have taken a chance in leaving her spot. The bus schedule only provided an estimated time of arrival, and when the bus came, it only waited for a few minutes before leaving. Last year, she’d missed the bus by a few seconds due to the delay with the release of her baggage. She’d had to wait another three hours for the next bus to come. Oh yes, Katza had learned her lesson.

The bus was not full. Katza got a window seat next to an empty one. Being a short person, she had enough room to lift both of her legs to the side and still sit comfortably. The trip from Los Angeles to Butcherfield usually took about two to two and a half hours. It would have been a good time for her to rest if only she could have slept, but her mind would not shut down, no matter how tired she was, without medication. She could only take her nighttime meds when she was ready to go to bed, and that would be when she was securely home.

Oh, the perils of mental illness, Katza thought. Almost every time she admitted to someone that she had the sickness, the person would comment, Don’t say that! It was as if she had something deadly and communicable or as if it were something bad. Many psychiatric disorders were genetic, and Katza had learned to accept that. She was not ashamed anymore to be labeled as crazy. Mental imbalance could be controlled. There was no cure, but there was recovery. She found no reason to hide her condition. In fact, she was willing to be the poster person for mental health awareness. If only people understood the trouble mental patients went through.

Katza closed her tired eyes as her mind drifted away to her long journey with her mental disorder. She fell into deep meditation as her thoughts traveled to the past, to the core of her being.

***

It was a bright, warm summer day in April 1941. The blue sky was blindingly clear. The breeze was warm, making it a perfect day to go swimming in the waters along Manila’s shoreline throughway, the famed Dewey Boulevard, or picnic under the acacia trees at the periphery of Luneta Park, close by the iconic Manila Hotel. But those were the last priorities in Virginia’s mind. A heavy, dark pall had clouded what appeared to be a perfect summer day in Virginia’s life.

It was just ten in the morning, but the mortuary was already packed with loved ones and friends of Virginia’s family. Wreaths of various sizes, carefully crafted with flowers in a myriad of colors and scents, lined the dimly lit chapel. Some of the flower arrangements overflowed to the reception area of the funeral home. The collective fragrances of roses, carnations, lilies, and other assorted blooms infused the chapel with lingering scents. Whispers, murmurs, prayers, and the occasional hushed laughter competed with the solemn atmosphere in the velvet-draped room. But serenity triumphed over a respectful din.

Sofia, Placido’s widow, had chosen the biggest chapel to accommodate a sizeable coterie of mourners who would pay their last respects to Don Placido. She also had purchased the most expensive and intricately decorated casket for her husband’s body to be laid in. The remains had been already in the mortuary for viewing for five days, but friends and relatives kept streaming by his casket to get a glimpse. Virginia, Placido’s daughter, was wonder-struck at her father’s enduring popularity. Throughout those five days and nights, hundreds of people from all walks of life had come to the mortuary to convey their condolences and show respect for the patriarch. To Virginia, Don Placido had been just a fun guy whom she adored. It never had dawned on her that so many other people were just as fond of him.

When the clock struck eleven, the memorial service began with a mass. The chapel was packed to standing room only. After the last eulogy was given, the priest ended the service with a final blessing of the body. The casket was left open, and each guest lined up to get a chance to view the body for the last time.

Despite the huge assemblage of mourners, Don Placido’s interment was on time. When the funeral director called for the deceased’s family to take their turn viewing the body, something unexpected and mildly embarrassing happened. To Virginia and her family’s surprise, several women theretofore unknown to them emerged from the coterie of mourners to take their turn to view Don Placido’s body as well. A chorus of unrestrained gasps emanated from the gathering, the loudest of which came from Virginia’s family.

While growing up, Virginia had heard of her father’s alleged illicit affairs, but this was her first time encountering her father’s other families. She was surprised that her father’s other mistresses were young, beautiful women, and the mistresses’ children were still young. Virginia did not know what to feel toward them. She knew they were also grieving. As they said their final goodbyes to their father, Virginia wondered what would become of them. What would become of her?

Virginia’s ancestry was vague. When her children asked about her roots, she would prudently refer to herself as a child born out of wedlock and add that she had Chinese blood running through her veins. Her whole childhood was a mystery. Even as she got older, she avoided disclosing her background to her offspring. She had four children. Two of her younger ones had been curious about their heredity while they were growing up. Virginia hesitantly would answer their queries occasionally. There were instances also when Virginia would confide about her past life to her two younger children. Virginia was frustrated that she felt obligated to reveal her long-withheld feelings about her past.

Placido Reyes had been a wealthy businessman in Manila. He’d been an attractive, handsome man and a womanizer and had fathered a bundle of illegitimate children. He also had kept a number of mistresses while he was married to his wife, Sofia Guevara.

Sofia was well bred but naive. She had been raised in a Catholic convent school for girls. Placido, even as a young man, had known how to work his charm with women. Although Sofia’s parents had placed her under the strict supervision of the nuns, Placido had managed to steal her away from the convent and elope with her.

Sofia had been aware of her husband’s infidelity. She had tolerated her husband’s illicit affairs for the sake of their eleven children, helped in part by one of the mores that governed their generation: couples should stay together despite all odds.

Virginia, fondly called Gina, was the biological daughter of Placido Reyes. Like her two younger siblings, Virginia was Placido’s love child with another woman. Her older siblings had told her that her real mother was Chinese. However, Sofia embraced Virginia as her own. In fact, the two younger children, Ching and Jongior, were offspring from Placido’s illicit relationships with two other different women, but Sofia, the good wife, also wholeheartedly accepted them as her own. Thus, there were two sets of children in the Reyes household: the older legitimate kids and the much younger illegitimate siblings.

Both Placido and Sofia were Spanish-speaking Filipinos. They were mestizos—people with light-colored skin and Caucasian features. They had a good deal of Spanish blood coursing through their veins. Their older children spoke Spanish at home.

Sofia had tolerated Placido’s philandering ways for many years, but in the last few years of their lives together, Placido’s womanizing had taken its toll. Sofia had expressed to her children that she was frustrated with Placido’s insatiable thirst for other women. When Sofia would catch Placido sneaking out at night, she would jump ahead of him, toss his hat into the street, and say, There—your hat is already out there waiting for you. Their confrontations had reached a point where they didn’t talk to each other anymore. When Placido entered a room where Sofia was, Sofia would freeze like a statue, not moving a muscle. It did not matter whether she was reading a book or stirring a cup of coffee. She would just stand still until Placido left the room.

Placido had died of a heart attack. He had been in his early fifties. He’d left behind a big family with Sofia, a second and even a third family, and numerous illegitimate children. There were several family cars that followed the funeral cortege to the cemetery. Sofia, bitter about the presence of Placido’s other extramarital families, sternly instructed her children not to cry when their father’s body was being lowered into the grave. She cast a piercing look at any of her children who expressed grieving during the ceremony. Virginia struggled to hold back her tears.

After her father died, Virginia had an intense longing to search for and learn more about her biological mother, but she was attached to Sofia. Virginia was also grateful to Sofia for embracing her as her own child, so Virginia harbored that feeling to herself.

With her experience in married life, Sofia repeatedly told her children never to marry someone they loved so much. Sofia explained how overwhelmed she had been with her affection for Placido from the first time they’d met. She had loved him so deeply that she’d forgiven his shortcomings, but his behavior had profoundly hurt her to the core. She did not want her children to suffer the same way she had.

Virginia took that advice seriously. She later passed that lesson on to her own daughters.

Unfortunately, Sofia died at the early age of fifty-five. Virginia was there when her mother took her last breath. Sofia knew when her time was up. Her children placed Sofia in bed in peace. Virginia asked one of the older children to get the crucifix hanging on the wall, and she placed it over Sofia’s face. After a few minutes, Sofia closed her eyes and was gone forever.

The whole family was split after Sofia died. Some of Virginia’s older siblings also passed away early on. Others married away. Virginia had no idea what happened to the others.

Virginia was in her midteens when Sofia died. Filippa, her much older sister, who also had cared for her when she was little, took her in. Filippa was enterprising. During the Japanese occupation of Manila, Virginia’s other older sister, Mariania, and Filippa opened a bakery. Virginia remembered how people would line up to buy their tough bread. A Japanese lieutenant who befriended the family acted as their protector. Even though the Japanese occupation was harsh, their family did not experience real hardship. However, their lifestyle had drastically changed compared to the time when their parents were alive.

After World War II, Virginia settled with Filippa in a small, humble house in Manila. Virginia did not continue her studies. She had to work to augment the household income. Filippa allowed her to keep a certain amount of her wages, but a big percentage of her income had to go to the household budget.

Filippa was a lesbian with masculine qualities. She was also authoritative and was quick to slap Virginia for the most trivial issues every time she attempted to reason out. Filippa’s word was always final, and she was also strict about dating.

Virginia blossomed into a beautiful, voluptuous, and sensual woman. She had a curvaceous figure. Her light skin was as smooth as porcelain. She was petite but attractive, and as a result, she had a lot of suitors. When her admirers came to court, Filippa sat in the room as chaperone.

Virginia was an ambitious person. She was also artistic. She was neat and meticulous. Even though they had a small house, she managed to decorate it exquisitely, and the living space was always pristine.

Virginia made sure she always looked smart and presentable. She educated herself by reading informative magazines and books. She did not care for tabloids, which were common reading material among her peers. Virginia was aware of her attributes and intelligence. She knew she would find a man who would elevate her life from her present social status. She focused on achieving a better lifestyle.

Despite her sense of humor, deep inside, Virginia was engulfed with loneliness. She had a burning desire to have a family of her own. She vowed to herself that her next generation would be better. Although she had many suitors who proffered marriage proposals, none of her admirers were good enough for her. She was determined to wait for the right prince. She focused on finding that man. Being in love was out of the question. What she desired most was someone who would provide her material security and a pathway to escape from the withering supervision of Filippa.

In early 1948, Virginia accompanied her childhood best friend, Clarita, also called Clare, to visit Clare’s boyfriend in Quezon City, a suburb of Manila. Clare’s boyfriend, Tonko Santos, lived in a mansion-like colonial-style white house in the Galas section of Quezon City. The Santoses’ house was referred to as the white house. It was the biggest house in the area and had been used as a Japanese headquarters during World War II. It was owned by Ronaldo Santos, a dignified gentleman from the island of Negros in Central Philippines.

Ronaldo Santos was a prominent lawyer and a high-level government official. He also owned large parcels of land and coconut plantations in his home province. Ronaldo had been widowed early in his marriage. He lived with a new life partner in a separate house, which was also in Quezon City. He’d built the white house for his adult children—Hernan, Tonko, Oswald, and Lina—to live in.

Hernan Santos was a handsome and charismatic gentleman. He had a lot of girlfriends trying to hook him for marriage, but Hernan remained single. He was almost thirty years old, but he had not found the right woman to commit to.

Along came Virginia. From the moment her shapely legs exited the taxicab, Hernan was instantly captivated. For many years, he had searched for the right woman, only to meet her through his younger brother’s girlfriend.

Hernan was mesmerized by Virginia’s elegant moves, intelligent talk, smart and fashionable style, and attractive physical appearance, but what impressed him the most were her conservative ideals and her modesty.

Hernan visited Virginia regularly. He was always appropriately dressed in a suit and tie. As usual, Filippa was always in the sitting room during the visits. Hernan slyly sneaked small love notes to Virginia without Filippa noticing. When he had known her for just two months, in a small note, Hernan proposed marriage to Virginia. He was in love.

Virginia, on the other hand, did not reciprocate Hernan’s affection. She did not see Hernan’s good looks. She even thought of him as a short guy whom she could not parade around. But Hernan was a good man who later would become a lawyer. Moreover, Hernan had a stable job and lived in the beautiful white house. She visualized herself living in that big house and decorating it without a mother-in-law to worry about. Hernan was the eldest and well respected by the younger siblings. Hernan could provide the material security she was seeking. She also saw him as a good candidate to start a family with.

Hence, in April 1948, Virginia and Hernan were secretly married. They did not live together outright. After the civil ceremony, they went their separate ways. Virginia had to be certain first that they were legally married. When she got home, she showed the marriage certificate to Filippa, who confirmed that the papers were binding. She was now Mrs. Virginia Reyes-Santos.

Chapter 2

A Family and a Home to Call Her Own

Virginia moved in with Hernan and his siblings in the big house. They occupied a big room with a balcony at the front of the house. Virginia adapted well to the new living arrangement, and Hernan’s siblings were excited to have a beautiful new sister-in-law living with them. Ronaldo was pleased too. He found his son’s new wife smart, organized, and classy. Virginia was always well groomed, style-conscious, and chic. Virginia loved shoes. When she moved in with Hernan, her collection of shoes spanned the sides of the room.

Because Virginia was pretty and smart, Ronaldo invited her to social functions in Malacanang Palace on occasions related to his position as a high government official. During parties, Ronaldo danced with her all the time, flaunting Virginia, who was a graceful dancer. Ronaldo was proud of his lovely, witty, and industrious daughter-in-law.

On February 8, 1949, Virginia and Hernan’s first child was born. It was a boy. They named him Alfredo Antonio Santos and fondly called him Fredo. The couple welcomed the wonderful blessing to their home with sheer joy. Virginia pledged to herself that she would be the best mother anyone could ever have been. Fredo was her bundle of joy. She poured all her emotions into her baby. Now Virginia had her own little family.

Adding to her happiness, Fredo was a cute and well-behaved little boy. He was easy to care for. Even at a young age, Fredo manifested signs of intelligence. He was also a calm boy.

Fredo became the focus of Virginia’s world. She adored her baby. She would dress him in various cute outfits and display him to friends and neighbors. Fredo was such an endearing and lovable child that a milk company even used his photo in one of their advertisements.

Meanwhile, Clarita and Tonko also got married. Tonko took Clarita to the white house too to live. They occupied a room in the other wing of the house. Eventually, Clarita got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy named Timoteo. They called him Tim for short.

Now there were two families living in the white house with Hernan’s younger siblings, Oswald and Lina. Occasionally, Ronaldo’s relatives from the province would come to Manila for a visit or to study, and they too would live in the white house. Clarita and Virginia were good childhood friends, so adjustment among them was not a problem.

A year and a few months later, Virginia was pregnant again. With Tim and Fredo getting along well as they grew up together, having a new addition to the extended family did not seem to be an inconvenience.

On April 28, 1951, Virginia gave birth to a baby girl. They named her Lucefa Ditas Santos and fondly called her Lucy. But Virginia’s delivery of this baby was not easy. She almost died while giving birth. Hernan and Virginia were happy the baby was born healthy. However, unlike Fredo, Lucy was a difficult baby from the day she was born. She cried all the time and was difficult to pacify. The new arrival hardly gave Virginia any rest. The new baby’s temperament frustrated Virginia. Adding to her disappointment were her new daughter’s physical features. Lucefa was not a light-skinned baby, and she did not have the mestiza features Virginia had hoped for.

The weight of Virginia’s responsibility increased with her growing family, but the status was acceptable to her. She thought that two children were enough, and to be blessed with a boy and a girl was perfect. Virginia was determined to make her family work. Made up of four individuals, it was a perfect home by her definition. Because she was from a huge family with many children, Virginia believed that only a household with a limited number of siblings could create an ideal home. Thus, another pregnancy was unthinkable for her. She was determined to be an ideal homemaker and a caring mother. She would have just these two children.

Unexpectedly, Virginia got pregnant again with her third child. She thought of aborting the baby because she was not emotionally and physically prepared for another responsibility. She sought the help of their family doctor, Dr. Jaime Jusefo. As a childless couple, Dr. Jusefo and his wife offered to adopt Virginia’s third baby. Eventually, Virginia had a change of heart and opted to continue with the pregnancy. On May 1, 1953, Candida Marlie Santos was born. She was so pretty and delightful that they nicknamed her Katza.

Virginia did not have regrets about keeping the new baby girl. Candida was a beautiful little girl. The nurses would crowd the nursery just to gaze at the lovely newborn. Virginia’s acceptance of Katza was positive. Katza not only had the mestiza features Virginia wanted but also was a sweet and passive baby.

Lucefa was in her terrible-twos period when the new infant was born. Lucy had become quite a little terror. She was a stubborn, hardheaded, strong-willed, difficult child. Lucefa did not welcome the new sister. Virginia would catch Lucy attempting to hurt the new baby, so Virginia was constantly on guard to protect the little one.

Raising three children became a rigorous task for Virginia, and her children were her main concern. She was a devoted mother but neglected her role as a wife. Intimacy with Hernan became a big issue for her. She refused to sleep with her husband because of her fear of becoming pregnant again. For her, any intimate physical contact became a chore and not something that was pleasurable and to be enjoyed with her loved one. After all, she never really had cared for Hernan as a loved one. She instead considered Hernan her financier and benefactor. Whenever she submitted to the marital act with Hernan, it was more an act of obligation and gratitude than love.

Hernan became frustrated with Virginia’s excuse of pregnancy as a reason to avoid intimacy. One evening Hernan was drunk and desperate, and he forcefully insisted on his marital rights over Virginia. When the act was over, Virginia rushed to the bathroom and locked herself inside. She poured a strong, pungent acid around the room and the toilet bowl. The stench penetrated through the bathroom door, which alarmed Hernan, who thought Virginia had committed suicide. Hernan desperately banged on the door repeatedly, begging for Virginia’s forgiveness. Eventually, Virginia opened the bathroom door and walked out, giving Hernan the cold shoulder. The result of that episode was Virginia’s feared fourth pregnancy.

This time, Virginia was determined to terminate the pregnancy through drastic measures. She sought the help of one of their good friends, Dr. Ray. She thought that if the abortion was performed by a licensed medical surgeon, it would be safe. Dr. Ray agreed to do the procedure and set a schedule to do it. However, the night before the procedure, Virginia dreamed of the image of baby Jesus carrying the world in his right hand. Baby Jesus had rosy cheeks, and he rested on her arms. Baby Jesus felt heavier and heavier until he put much pressure upon her chest. Then the baby stared at her with accusing eyes. Virginia frantically woke up from the nightmare. She felt a heavy mass on her chest and had difficulty in catching her breath. Being religious, Virginia interpreted the dream as a sign from the Almighty. She concluded that the Lord wanted her to withdraw her abortion plans.

On February 16, 1956, another baby girl was born to Virginia. The baby had slanted eyes and was fair in complexion. She had the features of an oriental doll. Virginia was thrilled about the new infant. She was named Angelique Maria, or Angel for short, but everyone in the household referred to the new little girl as the Japanese doll.

Virginia was now, remarkably, the mother of four children. She was a devoted mother who was well adjusted to juggling the schedule and activities of her growing family. Hernan, who by then had become a lawyer, worked for a senator. His job assignments were frequently out of town. Thus, Virginia was left alone in tending to the children. Fredo, now a little schoolboy, had grown up to be manageable. As expected, he was a diligent, obedient, well-behaved child. Even at a young, tender age, Fredo took school seriously, and Virginia always found time to assist him with his schoolwork. Fredo also played quietly by himself and didn’t demand much of Virginia’s attention. Also as predicted, Lucy grew up to be a handful. She was always into mischief. She would scream, wail, and throw fits if she did not have her way. Even with domestic helpers, Virginia often was exhausted in controlling Lucy. Occasionally, Hernan’s siblings would help Virginia discipline Lucefa. In one instance, the uncles put Lucy in a sack and hung it from a tree because they were so frustrated and did not know what to do with her.

Although Fredo and Tim were older, Lucy seemed to be the head of the pack. One day all three young kids went missing. Everyone in the household frantically looked for them. They searched all over the neighborhood. Virginia even called the police. It turned out that Lucy had urged the two older boys to walk several kilometers and cross a busy major street so she could touch a sculpture of a lion on a monument in the middle of the city. She was only about four years old then.

Even at an early age, Lucy displayed unusual behavioral problems. She was caught maltreating a kitten until it died. She even tortured a chicken by inserting a stick into its anus until it bled to death. She found humor in the agony of the chicken. With two other little ones, taking care of Lucefa drained Virginia.

Meanwhile, Clare and Tonko’s family was also growing. It took a while for them to have another pregnancy, but after five years, they had another boy, named Ardencio, or Ardie for short.

The number of people occupying the house was increasing. Intrigues were developing among them because of differences in opinion on various issues, especially the matter of raising kids. Also, even with maids in the house, they could not seem to keep the household in an orderly fashion. Instead of just being confined to their own respective rooms, the activities of the children extended to the other areas of the house. Virginia, who was a neat freak, found the situation chaotic. She felt that she was the only one who was neat and orderly, and the other adult residents of the house did not meet her high standards. Virginia also did not get along with Hernan’s younger brother, Oswald. Another relative living there was a cousin of Hernan, Edmundo, who was studying in Manila. Virginia clashed with him too. Hence, Edmundo moved out and lived in a dormitory.

Virginia prayed a novena fervently to ask God for a solution. The tension continued to brew. When Ronaldo found out about the tumultuous relationships of the residents of the white house, he stepped in to resolve the situation. Ronaldo suggested Oswald and Lina find themselves an apartment. However, Lina protested. She recommended that Ronaldo buy Hernan’s family their own house instead. Virginia was the one who could not get along with the rest of the extended family. It was logical that she and her family should move out.

The request was granted. Ronaldo purchased a lot for Hernan’s family in Cubao, Quezon City. He also gave them the money to build a brand-new split-level house. In fairness, Ronaldo also bought a piece of land in Mandaluyong, Rizal, and gave it to Lina. Ronald also gifted Tonko and Clarita a property in Marikina. Oswald moved back to the province of Negros to take care of Ronaldo’s properties there. Soon there was harmony in the white house.

Early in her toddler years, Lucefa had developed a power struggle with Virginia. When it was time to build their new house, Virginia was hesitant to leave Lucy with the other children under the supervision of the maids. The idea of them moving out on their own mended the ill feelings that permeated the white house. Lucy’s misbehavior was a subject of dispute. Virginia would not take a chance in leaving Lucy in the white house, but the construction of the new house demanded Virginia’s physical presence at the site. Even though there was an overseer at the house being built, Virginia wanted to be sure the construction was going smoothly and within budget. During the day, Virginia was also busy purchasing supplies for the new house, and Hernan was busy working in the Manila office or was on out-of-town assignments.

To resolve her ordeal, Virginia decided to bring Lucefa to her half sister Filippa’s home. By that time, Filippa had a live-in partner named Millie. Both Filippa and Millie were strict disciplinarians. The plan was to let Lucy live with them until the house was fully constructed. However, the few months turned into several years.

It was a beautiful house in the suburbs. It was two stories on one side, and upstairs were three bedrooms and a bathroom. The master bedroom extended over the patio outside, and below that was a room referred to as the Green Room. The girls all shared a room. Fredo had a room to himself. On the upstairs landing was an altar with a big statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus looking down on the living room and dining area. Below the bedrooms were a family room, which was intended to be the library; the kitchen; and another bathroom. On the other side was a living and dining area in one big room with a high ceiling. The house was well ventilated. There was a little terrace at the back of the house, which was the kids’ play area. The house was situated in the middle of the plot, and the ground around the house provided enough room for Virginia to plant a garden.

The Santos family moved in to their new home in Cubao, Quezon City, in the late 1950s. When they moved in, there were only a few houses built in the neighborhood. The area was still surrounded by open fields, where the children could run and fly their kites during the day. The nights were so tranquil that crickets could be heard, and fireflies flickered at night. Because it was such a small community, the neighbors were friendly. It was an ideal place to start a young family.

Virginia loved her new house. Hernan let her make all the decisions regarding the architectural design, the colors, and which materials to use for the walls and the floor. Being artistically talented, she had fun in decorating the place. As usual, Virginia was obsessive about keeping the place immaculate. Even without a maid to help with the household chores, Virginia tackled the job as a homemaker joyfully. She would wake up early to start her daily cleaning of the house. Each day, before the children were up, the floors were already sparkling and shiny, and the furniture was dusted clean. Food was