Guidebook to Living Right

By J. Bear

The Second Entry in our "My Little Attention Span" series. Navigating today’s political climate can be a daunting task. We are assailed 24/7 by Fake News, Witch Hunts, Attacks on our Faith, Socialist Agendas, and Hordes of Insatiably Rapey Immigrants – although to be fair, the imminent Mexican Invasion did suddenly vanish once the Impeachment Hearings began. But never mind that. What I’m trying to say is that if we are to survive as a Nation and as a World Leader, as God intended, then we must once again embrace the values that Made America so Great. We Must Learn to Live the RIGHT Way....

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781794773837

Book preview

Guidebook to Living Right

GuideBookTo Living RIGHT

by

J.Bear

Copyright

Published by J.Bear Productions

Copyright © 2019 J.Bear Productions

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written consent of the author.

This book is for entertainment purposes only and contains generous usage of alternative facts -- a concept that has been endorsed by the President himself. Therefore, the author cannot possibly be held responsible, or liable, for anything even resembling falsehood, slander, or pure & utter horseshit. Additionally, the author makes no real claim to knowledge about, or understanding of, anything. At all. Any sense of enlightenment and/or education experienced by the reader may be coincidental. And Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself. #stiffmittens

Denianetics, Sedentology, and the Humping Bears Logo are Trademarks of J.Bear Productions.

ISBN 978-1-79477-383-7

Dedication

Dedicated to the most honorable Donald J. Trump, all peace be upon him….

Foreword

What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening,

--Donald J. Trump

Some time ago I began to notice a subtle paradigm shift in these United States. It’s an odd sensation. In fact, I’m second-guessing myself even as I write this, but I can’t shake off the feeling. I have come to believe that, ever so slightly, the Conservative Movement in America has evolved into something new. Something else. Something even more..., Right.

While this change has likely gone unnoticed by the average citizen, I can assure you of two things:

It is a real phenomenon.

It really hates Mexicans.

No one knows for certain when this transformation began, but all of my research algorithms suggest a rough estimate of Tuesday, June 16th, 2015. Around 1 pm.

And as I investigated further, I discovered that this shift is much bigger than just a few thousand undocumented rapists and criminals. In fact, it encompasses every facet of our daily lives: from the God we worship, to the Gays and Muslims that God hates, to the concealed guns God gave us the right to carry. I soon realized that -- if we are to adapt to this Brave New World -- we will need a better understanding of it. A road map of sorts. A GuideBook to Living RIGHT.

In the following pages, you will find the help you need to thrive in this new and unabashed America. To navigate its complexities, and to realize its full potential. I have spent the last two years exhaustively researching and interviewing Right Thinkers across this great land, from Politicians to Evangelicals to Evangelical Politicians. I even sought out the advice of both types of Uncles: Angry & Drunk. I left no stone unturned.

The result is this GuideBook. A collection of interviews, articles, and conversations that -- while not in my own words -- will tell you all you need to know about the Right way of life. And, for those skeptics among you, keep in mind that this book has earned the coveted Triple-K Rating, which I think speaks for itself.

--J.Bear

Introduction

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love.''

--Mitt Romney

When I was young, the year 2020 was the stuff of fantasy. It promised a futuristic World, brimming with Robot Butlers, Flying Cars, and Interstellar Travel. A World of Wisdom and Peace, where we had triumphed over Nature, Disease, & the Godless Chinese.  A paradise on Earth….

But as we enter this once magical decade, we still find ourselves closer to the Dark Ages than to the Promised Land. We could not have strayed further from those lofty childhood dreams. And it’s all thanks to the human clown-show we’ve come to know as Libtards.

Some scholars trace the roots of the Libtard Nation back to 1960’s Counter-Culture, while others believe its origins lie in the 1970’s Flower Power Movement. I, however, believe its true origins to be in the 1980’s. In fact, the birth of this Libtard Belief System -- sometimes called Socialism – resulted in the sole blemish on the otherwise spotless record of America’s Second Greatest President: Ronald Reagan.

ALTERNATIVE FUN FACT: Unless you’ve spent the last three years living in a cave, or in a CNN Newsroom, then you already know who bears the title of Greatest American President: Donald J. Trump!

Of course, there are those who still insist that this honor should go to Abraham Lincoln, as he did bring our country out of the Civil War, while putting an end to Slavery. However, when one looks objectively at the bigger picture, Lincoln’s flaws become obvious.

As historian Bill O’Reilly has pointed out, Slaves were not only provided with a livelihood, but they were also housed and fed. Thus, a shortsighted Lincoln actually took away their security, leaving Freed Slaves, quite literally, out in the cold. A reprehensible act, to be sure.

And, lest we forget, an incompetent Lincoln also managed to get himself assassinated while watching a theatrical comedy, surrounded by a horde of liberal artists and other homosexuals.

Ronald Reagan, on