The Modern Compendium of Despicable Jerks

By John Prescott and Tom Kerr

This compendium is a highly opinionated, occasionally bogus representation of the most egregious modern examples of both common irritating folks and the rich and powerful who demean others while enriching themselves. It also includes real villains.

See if you can tell the difference. The subjects of this book barely scratch the surface of the total number of jerks worldwide. However, they are excellent examples of those who often wallow in a putrid pool of self-aggrandizement. This effort is offered in the same loathsome spirit by equal opportunity offenders and is intended to be all in fun, but not necessarily fun for all.

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781456621728

Book preview

[1981-2011]

Table of Contents     

This compendium is a highly opinionated, occasionally bogus representation of the most egregious modern examples of both common irritating folks and the rich and powerful who demean others while enriching themselves. It also includes real villains. See if you can tell the difference. The subjects of this book barely scratch the surface of the total number of jerks worldwide. However, they are excellent examples of those who often wallow in a putrid pool of self-aggrandizement. This effort is offered in the same loathsome spirit by equal opportunity offenders and is intended to be all in fun, but not necessarily fun for all.

If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The Modern Compendium of Despicable Jerks categorizes our selections into the following chapters. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Political Jerks

Chapter Two: Real People Who Will Probably Go to Hell

Chapter Three: Real People Who May Already Be in Hell

Chapter Four: Real People Who Will Probably Not Go To Hell, but Live in the Suburbs

Chapter Five: Everyday Jerks You Know By Other Names

Chapter One: Political Jerks

Ted Cruz

Ted is the worst Cruz since Gilligan’s Island. Gilligan only stranded a few people after they embarked on a three-hour adventure. Ted stranded the U.S. government and capsized it much like that stupid cruise ship captain’s trick off the coast of Italy. Why? He didn’t want to pay the bill for things he’s already purchased and scrap laws that had already been passed into law. Ted was born by the grace of God under a pretty darn good health system in Alberta, Canada. Yet even his fellow Canadians often say, Ted is a lyin’ ass, his feet stink, and Jesus don’t love him. And those are his friends. Cooler heads eventually pulled his head out of the tea, paid the bills and enforced the law, but it appears U.S. politics has not heard the last of this smooth talking self-proclaimed patriot (or as they say in Canada, pahtrioot.)

Long may he wave...bye-bye

Rob Ford

Rob is the only despicable jerk who just can’t seem to help himself from openly embracing the title. The Toronto Mayor was astonishingly honest with reporters when he admitted using cocaine only because he was in a drunken stupor at the time. It’s tough to beat that kind of despicably jerky honesty. But Rob came close when he was later accused of sexually harassing a female co-worker. Rob said he didn’t need her favors because his own wife was the moral equivalent of the hottest mama in Canada’s largest city. He refuses to resign his office. He is a profane loud-mouthed caricature. And he is a gift to reporters everywhere as he keeps the headlines focused away from truly serious issues that are a lot more difficult and expensive to cover than the most obnoxious public servant in North America.

If you don’t want to step in it stay out of the sewer

Mad Anthony Weiner

The former New York congressman successfully screwed himself with his own penis, plus a massive deficit of common sense. This seven-term representative sent pictures of his Mighty Wurlitzer through cyberspace, made internet sexy-talk with several women and then lied about it. When the best you can say about an elected official is, He’s just like Charlie Sheen, except for the honesty part, you know there’s trouble brewing.

Oh Lordy, I’ve been hacked!

Herman Cain

When Herman Cain responded to allegations of sexual harassment during the 2012 presidential campaign, he said, We are taking this head on. If he had used similar words as a suggestion