The Four Seasons of the Family

By Collin Brown

Your marriage is a ministry. Work it! There is no such thing as a static relationship! Every marriage endures periods of struggles and hardships, no matter how great the relationship seems. There are unexpected speed traps surfacing at the least opportune times, but every couple needs to expect them and prepare themselves accordingly. Marriages require compromise and daily analysis to determine where each person is at this moment so that they can combat the enemy of their relationship. In this

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781644242117

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The Four Seasons of the Family

Collin Brown

Copyright © 2019 Collin Brown

All rights reserved

First Edition

Page Publishing, Inc

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc 2019

ISBN 978-1-64424-210-0 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64424-211-7 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

This paper is dedicated to my wife, Michelle Brown, who has been one of my motivators in fulfilling this mandate. To my children, Jevonne Brown, Michiko Brown, and Demiyah Brown, who’ve missed the physical presence of their dad, being away from them for the last four years, and Shavana Jackson who continues to bloom into a wonderful daughter. I am also dedicating this to my parents, Mr. Ronald Brown and Mrs. Deleta Brown, who have been always been there for me no matter what situations I faced.

I know that the Lord will greatly bless them for the sacrifices that they have made persistently and the prayers that my wife has made on my behalf. I am also very confident that the Lord will bless us so that we can all be together again very soon.

Preface

This book is written to explain what the family is, its duty to the society, and its core function in maintaining and passing cultures, morals, and ethics onto its future generations. It speaks of many types of families and traditions throughout the world, their history, and their cultures.

Man’s modern definition of the family is in direct contradiction to what God has defined it as. Man—in his quest for dominance, power, and self-conceptualization—takes unto himself an attitude that totally displeases God. On his path for self-exploration and fulfillment, he has broken every commandment that God has given to us.

Many societies and nations have spoken against the authority of the Bible, and as such, they have decidedly determined to redefine the family. Consequently, the family has been endangered as societies plunge deeper and deeper into spiritual and moral degeneracy.

God’s ways are always right; He changes not. Man’s laws are programmed for death, but God’s laws will change and save every person who desires to be saved. The family can be rescued, but unless the society revisits the Bible, the family will continue to be endangered.

Introduction

Our lives are somewhat synonymous to that of the different seasons of the year. We are born to live and then to die. Along the path of our lives are strung with varying circumstances and situations that make us, define us, shape us, and help build our character and, ultimately, write our book. Each chapter of our lives are colorfully painted with symbols and memories, whether dull or brilliant.

Life is much more precious than the figment of one’s imagination. Life was loaned to mankind not merely to breathe but to live, serve God and keep His commandments; that’s the duty of man. While we live, it behooves us to be in constant communication with our inner conscience, as we daily judge ourselves, so that we would not be judged. When we can truly see who we are, we will be better equipped to handle, deal with and change what we have become in conformity to the design that the Creator has for us. We experience different seasons of our lives, and each year represents the full cycle of life.

Spring represents our youth, in the same way as the young tender plants must set a good root system to be able to grow into maturity; we, in our youth, need to set our roots in a well. We must strive for a proper education (formal and informal) that is well-balanced. This will help us to be rounded as we grow into well-rounded adults. Spring also represents the birth of a new relationship. The principles or foundations that the relationship starts on, will ultimately be pivotal in its foundation, structure and operation. The principles must be set straight from its onset; else, the premises will be destroyed being built on unspoken expectations.

Summer represents our adulthood. Just as the plants must adjust to their surroundings, heat, drought, etc. in order to survive, we must also face many challenges in our own daily lives, which by overcoming helps build our character. The romantic phase of the relationship is characterized by summer. This is when things are hot and the couple (new lovers) can’t seem to get enough of each other. Romance is definitely in the air and emotions are at their peak.

Autumn represents the midlife period of life. The family is now more poised and ready to move on to the next level and the next phase. Persons have come to an understanding and expectation that they have lived a full life and are thus ready for whatever comes their way. Goals and ambitions are constantly being assessed to see where one fell short of achieving what was set out to be accomplished.

The relationship has certainly matured and the couple has settled down dramatically. The priorities in relationship are no longer on sporting and having a good time but rather on building on what the summer has created. Life is no longer about partying and enjoyment, but family is now a main target and priority for the couple. The couple has worked hard in their lifetime together and is ready to turn the reins over to a younger generation and offer their expertise in training their children to meet the trials of life. They tend to crave the attention of their second generation and seek to spend lots of time with family.

Winter represents the golden years of life as well as death. This death is not merely attributable to the lack of breath but also, the lack of romantic fire, love and emotional flames. No matter how far one runs, death is an appointment that we must all face. Life’s cycles are constant, and such are those in relationships. Many relationships experience wintry seasons throughout their lifetimes. Some manage to bounce back but others have perished from frostbites and shocks.

Some couples have stayed together throughout the different seasons of their relationship and continued on to death. They took their vows seriously until death we do part!

Section 1

The Family

We may not have the same biological mother or father, but we are all created by the same God; and that makes us related (Collin Brown).

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Chapter 1

Defining the Family

The term family is used quite frequently, but what is family? Throughout history, this unit of persons has formed, cultivated, and strengthened societies, churches, cultures, nations, and the world at large. How can we even try to define this important unit that affects every person and nation? Whatever meaning and ascription may be associated with the family, it can never truly and accurately characterize its importance and necessity.

The family is the foundation of our existence and the umbrella that every person stands beneath. The family is the oldest and most fundamental of all social institutions. Many persons have described the family as a social institution based on kinship that functions to replace members of society and to nurture them.

In every society, there are rules or norms that shape families and kin relationships. The family can take many different forms, depending on which particular combination of rules developed in a given or particular society. Rules and guidelines are defining instruments for every family and society. These rules or guidelines are implemented to guide the members of the family into an identical family unit. Once these rules are established, the members are socialized to accept them.

Every society has its standard rules governing the activities of the family. There are limitations and boundaries within which every family unit is expected to operate, even though each family has a certain amount or level of freedom. Family is the core, soul, and heartbeat of every society, culture, nation, and people. No matter where one travels to, unless the place is uninhabited, the family is sure to be represented there. It is interesting to note that without the different and varying personalities of the individuals, this world would be a most boring place to live in.

Most persons belong to at least two families during their lifetime. The first family is natural, involving one’s parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. The second family is nonbiological, such as church family and/or friends. Within Christianity, each member of the church is also referred to as a part of one’s family. Religion plays a great role in the lives of many persons and societies. As the years progress in the lives of most persons, they become a part of a third family through marriage.

The Sociological Definition

A family is the basic social group united through bonds of kinship such as marriage, which is present in every society. Ideally, the family provides its members with protection, security, companionship, and socialization. Since the family is defined as a social group or institute, it is prudent that we define what a social institution is. It is a persistent and stable cluster of values, statuses, rules, groups, and organizations that function together to meet the basic needs of society in a particular area of social life.

Every society must fulfill certain kinds of needs if it is to survive. Food, clothing, and shelter are three of the most important components of human survival. Many sociologists over the years fail to educate man on another important need for the survival of the human race—language.

In order for us to teach and communicate with one another, we need to use a common means of communicating with one another. When a society or family refuses or fails to teach its members proper values, then these members will destroy morals and principles, thus weakening the strength and prosperity of said society.

When a family or a society refuses to impart culture and, most importantly, how to have a relationship between God and man, then our family, societal, and personal values will depreciate. Children will continue to live with what they learn. It is the duty and obligation of every parent to educate their children. Every society is responsible for training and educating its citizens.

In order for the society to survive as a people, there must be some source or level of authority to coordinate the people’s activities and to exert social control. There must be systems in place for keeping people healthy, safe, and comfortable. Since we are humans, we will become sick, sad, and hungry, but the mechanisms must be in place for nursing us back to health, helping us to regain our equanimity or even to feed the hungry.

Without the law, man would be totally out of control. The law acts as a boundary, within which man is expected to operate. When we go beyond the boundaries of the law, we are in breach or violation. When we break the law, we become subjected to punishment. Depending on the severity of the crime, we may be put to death.

Man’s intentions are to be loved, respected, and cared for. Man is always inspired to be better than he is. With his aspirations, he often goes beyond the boundaries of the law. Many persons have been imprisoned innocently, while others are guilty. The law was never instituted to be breached but rather to be adhered and respected. When the laws of man are breached, the offender, when caught, will be punished. His freedom to do as he wishes is no longer a right or privilege but rather a desire. When one breaches the laws of God, he is in deep trouble.

God is forgiving and of plenteous mercy, but it is important for every person to know that sin is not merely the transgression of God’s law. Sin is contagious and addictive. Sin has serious repercussions. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23).

Many persons continuously sin because they feel that God will always be merciful to them. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. God will forgive, but eventually, when a person continues to sin, it becomes habitual. Until he or she learns to control that sinful nature, that person’s life will be torn apart. No one is exempt from sinning or beyond sinning, but some persons know how to live holy lives. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth (Psalm 34:16).

Oftentimes, we try to evade God. It is impossible to evade God because wherever we may try to flee to, the Lord is there with us. He knows our every move. We cannot escape Him, so it is imperative that we learn to trust Him and follow His commands. If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold thou art there (Psalm 139:8).

It is imperative that not only should every family learn to seek the Lord but also societies and nations. When one tries to hide from the Lord, it is like trying to hide from one’s age. One’s age may not be readily seen; however, no cosmetic surgery is able to hide it. Love and unity within families will always be appreciated by the Lord. The Lord sees us long before we think about escaping from Him.

The family functions to ensure the continuity of society by helping to maintain a proper-sized, healthy, vibrant, and cultured population. This is accomplished through reproduction, socialization, and family education. Reproduction ensures the continuity and replacement of the older members of society and also those who have died. Socialization provides training for the younger generations.

It is not always possible to prevent certain illnesses and diseases. Sometimes, members of the family will contract illnesses and diseases. The legacy of socialization will always have an impact on the family and the society on a whole. The older members of the family are expected to teach the younger ones how to live healthy lives. They will also teach them how to prevent illnesses and diseases, how to be good citizens, and the importance of culture and family history. The younger generations must be sufficiently taught so that they will, in time, pass on this legacy to their offspring.

Chapter 2

History of the Family

The family is more than just a unit being bound together by blood, marriage, or adoption. It is fair to say that the family is a structure with branches, limbs, and most importantly, roots. This unit extends far beyond immediate visibility. Its roots dig deep and extend far and wide. No matter how close a family seems to be bonded, there are always unknown relatives who are out there, scattered, in this vast domain.

Anthropologists and other social scientists have developed several theories about how family structures evolve. Marriage is the beginning of the family life. When a man and a woman pledge to each other in solemnizing the union of holy matrimony, they make a legal contract to live together as husband and wife. They pledge to each other their vows to love, honor, and obey each other, as well as to accept legal responsibilities for each other and their offspring. In later chapters, we will delve more deeply into what love means, its implications, its duties, and its responsibilities.

Many scientists have attempted to disclaim knowledge of the genesis of the family. The family structure began in the Garden of Eden with the first human beings called Adam and Eve. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). The book of Genesis is known as the book of beginnings. The first man and woman were united in marriage in the Garden of Eden by God. It is also safe to say that the first marriage and family began in that garden.

In prehistoric societies of hunters and gatherers societies, two or three nuclear families, usually linked through bonds of kinship, joined together for part of the year but dispersed into separate nuclear units in the seasons when food was scarce. The family was an economic and social unit. The men were the ones who were responsible for hunting, while the women were in charge of the preparation of the food, tending the children, and managing the household. These women were also responsible for teaching certain values to their offspring. These ancient families practiced infanticide widely and expelled the infirmed, who couldn’t work, from the clans.

Monogamy was widely practiced in prehistoric societies. Modern families have developed from ancient Hebrews, whose family structures were patriarchal in nature. After the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the birth of the Christian era, a new tradition of family and culture was realized. Ancient Hebrews practiced polygamy, but in the Christian era, monogamy is strictly practiced.

There are some religions today that still practice polygamy. Most modern women will by no means accept their husbands having another wife. This, to them, is totally unacceptable as it is unsafe physically, spiritually, emotionally—in every way possible. Most importantly, it erodes and contravenes the dictates and teachings of Jesus.

Types of Families

In order to show what the family structure consists of, it is important to include the various types of family structures practiced through the world. Some of the main types are as follow:

Nuclear family. This family structure consists of a married couple and their offspring. This type of family is the basic family structure and is mostly accepted in any country, culture, custom, and culture. When the Bibles speak of a couple, it does so from the basis of a man and a woman. Many countries have diverted from this course and have started to recognize same-sex marriages. In fact, there are some churches that are moving in this direction. God’s ways are always right, no matter how we feel about it!

Extended family. This consists of three or more generations of people who live together or in close proximity and whose lives are closely interwoven. This family is usually a combination of the nuclear family with a parent or the parents of the husband or wife. In most cases, the extended family is a very large family and involves a strong sense of family obligation. Loyalty is usually a very high priority among each family member, and each person is expected to help the others. The eldest male is usually the dominant person in this type of family setting. Chores and other tasks are usually divided among each member by age and sex. The older yet more vigilant males usually take on more responsibilities than the others.

Single family. This refers to a family in which there is only one parent—whether mother or father. Over the years, the number of single-parent families has increased significantly worldwide. There are many reasons why these families exist, and they are by no means responsible for stigmatizing single mothers. In most cases, the mothers are left with the overwhelming responsibility of taking care of the children alone. There is also a rising trend worldwide of single dads. In times past, the ratio of single moms versus single dads has widened significantly in favor of moms. Some families have only one parent due to the death of a spouse, divorce, separation, sexual promiscuity, and oftentimes, abandonment. Increasingly, there are many single mothers and fathers who have chosen this way of life. Single parents must serve as breadwinners, disciplinarians, coordinators, counselors, and in totality, strength and motivator for their home, family, and self. There are many disadvantages to this family structure, as that parent can become overburdened and frustrated by the demands of raising the child or children while the children often suffer psychologically, financially, and emotionally without the added strength and support of another parent.

There are other types of families that are not mentioned in this category. For the sake of brevity and in keeping with the focus of this writing, only the aforementioned types are mentioned herein. Many countries around the world have varied and unusual family customs and traditions. Most Western societies have somewhat similar customs. The customs and traditions of most Indian and African nations are quite different from those of the Western world.

Chapter 3

The Modern Family

In earlier years, most functions of the family were performed by the husband and wife. Specialized institutions now perform many of the other functions that were once performed by the typical family. Agencies have now been established to foster and manage the economic production of the family. Contrary to the past, siblings were schooled at home by a parent, usually the mother or grandmother. Public or private schools have replaced the former system of home schooling. Religion plays an important role in the lives of most families. Unfortunately, most families are yet unsaved.

Most churches play a major role in the grooming process and the education of the family. Formerly, recreation was centered around the home, family, and friends, but with the changes effected in the world, new trends have emerged. Societies are changing, and so is the family. Increasingly, there are more options to choose from than in the past.

Jobs are usually separate from the family group, and most often, family members usually work in different occupations and, subsequently, separate locations away from the home. Working away from home has its share of stress on each family member, and depending on the occupation, location, and position, additional time may be required of each member away from the home and the family.

Despite the odds, parents are still responsible for their children’s upbringing. Regardless of the volume of stress that each person encounters throughout the day, the family must be maintained and protected against all odds and dangers. The influence of peers, relatives, and the mass media has dramatically increased over the years.

Life is forever changing, and so are the values of the family. Unless more emphasis and focus are placed on the importance of cultures and traditions are preserved, then the family—the basis for self-identification—will be forever lost!

The Beginning

Everything in life has a point of origin. Contrary to the popular beliefs of the new age movement and other religious cults, everything is not God, and God isn’t everything. Also, we are not evolvements of scientific matters. Man was created by God in His own image and likeness. Before the creation process began, God existed. The creation went through processes or stages, wherein specific aspects of the creation process were initiated and completed.

After mankind was made, God looked at them and said, It was good. Thus, things were doing according to God’s order and purpose. Timeliness and precision were aspects of God’ creative agenda. In the beginning God created the Heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form and void (Genesis 1:1–2).

The family has a beginning, but usually, there is no ending. It acts as one of the rare components of nature, unending. Prior to the conception of every family, each person was and will always be a member of another family. We were a part or a member of another family, with a mother, a father, and perhaps brother(s) and sister(s). Many families exist without both parents but with only one parent. A mother or father with their offspring is known as a single-parent family.

In modern societies, a man or woman usually has certain amount of choice in the selection process of their mate. Parents may be allowed to assist in this process, but the decision or choice ultimately rests on the son or daughter. The Bible will never endorse same-sex relationships.