Happiness is…: Within your mind. Discover

By G.D. Budhiraja

Want to be happy in right frame? Here are 10 steps you can take to bring more happiness into your life:
1. Be with others who make you smile
2. Hold on to your values
3. Accept the good
4. Imagine the best
5. Do things you love
6. Find purpose
7. Listen to your heart
8. Push yourself, not others
9. Be open to change
10. Bask in simple happiness
Happiness and fulfillment are within your grasp, but sometimes just out of reach. Understanding what works best for you is the first step in finding more of them. Through 12 chapters in this book, the author gives you his thoughts to ponder to achieve happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: V&S Publishers
• Release date: Jan 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9789350578476

Book preview

Part – I

The Wisdom of Happiness

Chapter 1

Happiness as a Goal

What is the purpose of life? Whether we believe in religion or not, we are all seeking something better in life. In fact, the very direction of our life is towards happiness. Is happiness a reasonable goal of life and is it really possible to achieve this goal?

The answer to this is definitely YES. This goal can be achieved through training of the mind. Unfortunately, our modern thinking, that’s largely influenced by western thinking, is mostly guided by notions of psychiatrists like Sigmund Freud who believed that man should be happy is not included in the plan of creation. At the most, what we could hope for is a reduction in our misery. In psychiatric training the word ‘happiness’ is not even mentioned as a therapeutic objective. Of course, there are plenty of talks about relieving the patient’s symptoms of depression or anxiety, of resolving internal conflicts or relationship problems but never with the expressly stated goal of ensuring happiness. The concept of achieving true happiness has always seemed elusive and ungraspable. To the western mind, happiness does not seem a sort of thing that one could achieve by training the mind.

The days of human life are numbered. At every moment, thousands are born into the world, some destined to live only a few days or months or years, unfortunately succumbing to illness or other misfortune. Others are destined to push through the seventies or eighties or even reach the century mark and savour every taste that life has to offer: triumph, tragedy, despair, joy, hatred and love. But whether we live for a day or a century, what’s the basic purpose of life? What are the ingredients that make our life purposeful? If we look at this question through a common-sense angle, you will agree that the purpose of our life is to seek happiness.

But is not a life based on seeking personal happiness selfcentred by nature? In fact, it need not be so, as survey after survey has shown that it is the unhappy people who tend to be most self-centred and are often socially withdrawn and brooding. Happy people by contrast are generally more sociable and creative and tolerate life’s daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. They are also more loving and forgiving.

I am, therefore, inclined to accept the basic premise that the purpose of our life is to seek happiness. With this vision in mind, we can take positive steps to realise it. As we begin to identify the factors that lead to a happier life in the subsequent chapters of this book, we will come to know how the search for happiness can offer benefits not only for an individual but also for his family and for society at large.

Training the mind

Achieving genuine happiness may require a radical transformation in our outlook and this is not a simple matter. It requires the application of many different factors. It is similar to taking proper care of our physical body for which we need a variety of nutrients and vitamins. We also require exercise. Likewise, to achieve happiness, we need a variety of approaches to overcome many complex negative mental states. It is difficult to accomplish this task by simply adopting a particular thought or technique. Change takes time as in the case of physical change. It requires repeated application of methods. It is a process of learning. As time goes by, we can make positive changes.

This training of the mind for cultivation of happiness by focussing on positive mental states is possible because of the very structure and functions of the brain. We are born with a brain that’s generally programmed with certain behaviour patterns and we respond to our environment in ways that enable us to survive. But this programming is not static. The brain is adaptable. It can design new patterns in response to new inputs. By moulding our thoughts and practising new ways of thinking, we can reshape our nerve cells and change the way our brain works. Thus the idea of training the mind for happiness is practicable and within our reach.

We will be discussing various methods and techniques to be adopted in changing various negative states of mind like anger, hatred, worry, self-doubt, fear and guilt and developing positive states of mind, such as zest for life, love and affection, an optimistic outlook, etc. in subsequent chapters.

Chapter 2

Work and Zest for Life

Work is worship

What is the ingredient of common happiness? An answer to this question is contained in a Chinese saying: Happiness is someone to love, something to work at and something to hope for. Let us analyse how work is the instrument of happiness.

Happiness is not a condition that bursts upon us, transforming us into radiant beings. It is a comfortable feeling that brings peace and places us in harmony with our surroundings. It can best be gained by doing our work each day; work that can be done cheerfully, giving something in return for what is received. Indeed, happiness is the byproduct of our work and efforts.

Continuity of purpose is one of the most essential ingredients of happiness in the long run and for most men this comes chiefly through their work. Whether work should be placed among the causes of happiness or causes of unhappiness may perhaps be regarded as a doubtful question. There is certainly many a work that’s irksome. Excess of work is also painful. However, if the work is not excessive, even the dullest work is less painful than idleness.

It is a misconception that work is a burden to be tackled out of necessity. In fact, depression is common among those who have retired from work and have all the money they need to satisfy their material wants.

But work is not only worship, as the saying goes, it is also a source of happiness. Psychologists tell us that human beings are programmed through their genes as well as the expectations of society to be productive. Engagement with our work and full absorption in the activity is an important aspect of happiness. It is truly said that labour may be a burden, but work is a privilege. By work, we mean something that we have chosen, which requires all our skills: technical, physical and mental and which also benefits society as a whole.

There are many elements by which we can consider work as a cause of happiness. Firstly, work is desirable as a preventive of boredom. Even if the work is uninteresting, it is much better than the boredom one feels when there is nothing to do the whole day. Therefore, a man with some work, even if dull, is happier than a man with no work at all.

Another important aspect of work is that most of it is paid. It ensures chances of success and opportunities for the fulfilment of ambitions. In most work, success is measured by income. The desire that men have to increase their income is as high as the desire for success and extra comforts that a higher income can ensure. But women who are preoccupied with housework are less fortunate than men or women who work outside the home. The housewife does not receive any wages and is taken for granted by her husband and is valued by him not for the work done but for her other qualities. However, women of well-to-do families can derive satisfaction by decorating their house aesthetically and maintaining a beautiful garden, which draws appreciation in the neighbourhood and the social circle.

Great artists and great men of science are totally immersed in their work, which makes the tasks all the more joyful. Happiness becomes the by-product of every work done with total dedication.

What elements can make our work more interesting and absorbing? The two main elements are the exercise of skill and the constructiveness involved in the work. In the course of time, every man acquires some skill and enjoys exercising it.

The other element that’s a source of happiness is the constructiveness of work. When the work that we do is constructive and benefits others and society at large, not to mention our own selves, it gives us a great deal of satisfaction.

By changing our attitude towards work and working with total absorption, we will be able to unfold our maximum inner potential. That is freedom. That is happiness. It is this state of happiness that all of us are seeking.

But if you do not enjoy your work and only think, When I achieve results, only then will I be happy, you are missing the point. Never be too obsessed with the final results. Always give every task your total time and attention, but do not be unduly concerned about the final result. Such an attitude will ensure you will enjoy your work immensely and achieve positive results more often than not.

However, remember that nobody can give you happiness. Even a philanthropic boss cannot give you happiness. He can only give you some money. He can also give you various material incentives. In his book, Man’s