Holy Relationships: Discovering the Spiritual Edge of Intimacy
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About this ebook
Holy Relationships offers a whole new spiritual perspective for couples who are making or renewing a commitment to each other. It emphasizes the spiritual edge of intimacy and the importance of placing God at the center of the relationship. Basing her suggestions on Scripture, the author offers a variety of practices, guidelines, and purposes that promote a relationship with less tension and more freedom from fear of loss.
"Holy Relationships is like having a wise and gentle counselor willing to tell you what truly nourishes a relationship, with less tension and more freedom from fear of loss."
- Mally Cox-Chapman, author, The Case far Heaven
Christine A. Adams
Christine A. Adams, M.A., has been writing about issues of addiction, relationship, spirituality, and education for over 22 years. She has over 2,000,000 separate books and pamphlets in print with works published in 23 countries translated into 21 languages. Chris, an English teacher, was also formerly trained as an addiction counselor in 1986. However, most of her writing parallels her life experiences. Her early writings were about the alcoholic marriage, adult children of alcoholics, teen alcoholism, and sexual addiction. Then came books about spirituality, relationships, grief therapy and education. One of her best known recovery books is the Elf Help gift book, One Day At A Time Therapy which is still selling in places like Taiwan, Portugal, the Netherlands, Austria, Sweden, Indonesia, Austria and Brazil. Her other books include: Claiming Your Own Life: A Journey to Spirituality--- Holy Relationships--- Living In Love: Connecting To the Power of Love Within--- and ABC's of Grief: A Handbook For Survivors. Her most recent book is a fictional narrative, based on her years of teaching, called The School Factory. Visit her at www.christineaadams.com
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Book preview
Holy Relationships - Christine A. Adams
Introduction
Holy relationships are based on spiritual similarities. Each partner has faced their own personal ordeal and found their way to a more peaceful place. They have done their soul work
and, through the love of God, found a love of Self. Now, when they reach inside to soul search, they do not see deficiencies but find a completeness, a oneness that comes from God. In other words, they know
the love of God. There is no gnawing need for a loving connection because the love of God completes them.
Now they can extend their complete self to another, equally as whole. Lovers see no differences in their spiritual selves. There is nothing they would take from the other to complete themselves. They do not come together out of a sense of need, but in a fullness of self.
This book is meant to express the most positive view of a relationship—its holiness. Intentionally, I did not stress aspects of an unholy relationship, but, for clarification, it needs to be stated that all relationships are not holy, and, unless both partners are willing to grow spiritually, the relationship may not function very well.
In an unholy relationship there is a sense of being incomplete and a need to draw from the other. There is an attachment that represents an attempt to reach spiritual unity by merging with another. It is this sense of personal separation from God that drives lovers to this point of anxiety and insecurity. Both partners see themselves as fragmented from the whole and in need of completeness.
Examples of unholy relationships are all around us. The other day, on a popular daytime TV show, I saw an example in which a young man had been physically abusive to a young woman. All she asked was that he make a commitment to her and to their unborn child. It seemed clear to everyone in the audience that she should give up this unholy relationship and put her energy into her own life and into the life of the child she carried. She hung on, meekly saying, But, I love him.
The truth is she does not love herself enough to protect herself, and her child, from him. This situation is not about love, but the lack of it. This girl feels she needs this man to feel loved.
In truth, she does, because she has not discovered her love of Self through the love of God.
When you feel incomplete, you look outside of yourself for security.
One out of two marriages in America ends in divorce. Perhaps the partners have come together for the wrong reasons—sex, money, security, social acceptance. Perhaps they are trying to complete themselves through the other person. Perhaps their relationship operates on material principles rather than spiritual ones. Perhaps they have not discovered that all relationships can have a higher spiritual purpose.
For a relationship to have a higher spiritual purpose, both lovers must be "reaching