Peepholes of the Crucifix Warriors: SEASON ONE - EPISODE EIGHT

By Kevin Karmalade

Father Santamaria becomes quite agitated as he watches Lady Melrose being escorted from the ball to her car. Scantily clad boys with chalk harnesses and trans-gender ushers trail just behind them. The priest is an intense character. He is a peeping tom that leads others in their peeping activities, behind the hundreds of hidden peepholes and hidden wall spaces, that surround the old church buildings.

Lady Melrose’s evening dress has been spoiled by Dolly the sheep. For her dignity, it is best that she leaves. As she disappears through the gates, we are interrupted by the blasphemous head of a statue. Its head has accidently broken-off from the rest of its body. The technicians have captured the head in a laundry basket. They are followed by a rabble of guests, as they make their way across to the entrance porch of the archbishop’s rectory. Father Santamaria takes control, whilst the archbishop can be woken and brought down to officiate, over what’s to be done with the head in the bucket.

In the meanwhile, it seems to channel multiple characters and slogans. One entity is a grumpy old Speaker of the House whom we assume has passed over. We observe the dropping of the ‘Little Boy’ and ‘Fat Man’ (1945) atomic bombs, as they are channelled out the mouth of the head. Other voices come through—to give the guests some cheek.

The head is one of the most fanciful props of the novella. It is an artistic device: simply a ‘channel’ by which a variety of voices come through to exclaim a set of lines and slogans, such as for example, Gandhi’s universal mantra, ‘Truth, Force’.

It is Dirk and Micah, a technician that rescue the situation. They suggest to the archbishop that they try to attach the head back on to the body of the statue.

The last part of the chapter features a short performance by a fancy-trick, performance donkey; as he swills beers and swallows them. His final act involves an interaction with a baby tub, which the audience enjoy as they are led by Royston Bustwick, the State–leader to cheer the donkey on.

Archbishop Garibaldi features for a few moments as he deals with what is a metaphysical problem. There is humour mixed with irony derived by the way the statue is silenced. The proctor’s news of apparitions in the Cathedral is an artistic re-conjuring of a sliver of the Renaissance period. In that time, winged angels were prevalent in some of the great devotional paintings of the period. Eventually – this form of art almost disappeared entirely as the Renaissance drew to a close. The angels re-surfaced in other forms and depictions in later ages.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Jun 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781642376388

Book preview

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EPISODE EIGHT

Peepholes of the

Crucifix Warriors

Serial-peeping from the rectory; Lady Melrose is helped by Traumatists with chalk breast-plates, bridles, jockeys and riding crops; Beefeater drag queen frottage’s violate the holy porch with lip-stick smudges; a charge of sacrilege by a peephole priest; Thudmore returns; the blasphemous statue is taken out of the festivities; Garibaldi woken up; angels alert in the cathedral; gaffa tape triage; Sir Nigel carminates on stage; relief over a potty tub; Garibaldi in the cathedral; Fatima’s child travels up river to the State Re-distribution Bureau.

Outside the walls of the Old Vestry, on the edge of the cathedral precinct, some homeless had gathered during the evening. A group of bedraggled drunks were dancing to the music seeping over the wall from the ball. They were tanked up and initially unaware they had attracted a crowd, who were spurring them on as cheap entertainment. Standing on the perimeter, even Lamb’s security officers were charmed—one eye on their smog alarm meters and one watching the drunks.

Up on Liberty Mountain, inside the State Command Control-Tower, the androgynous surveillance-operators were monitoring the Capital and festivities.

This is Command Control. Can you hear me Commodore?

Yes. Over…

We’re monitoring a crowd and some prancers at the front. Any orders sir?

Just keep watch. Disperse them in 5 minutes. Give Lamb’s security a call first.

Roger that Commodore…—will advise when we start the clean up…

Yes. And take those homeless dancers to the Despatch Centre. They’ll get a free ride to the Ganglands camps afterwards…

Roger. Onto it. We are near to smog curfew levels Commodore. The airborne infection risk will increase later on. Do you want the sirens on early in the Capital?

No. Do the clean-up first and then call me before the sirens have to go on.

Yes sir…

And keep the sirens near this precinct off the grid tonight. I’ll want this venue closed shortly. They have entertainment on. Keep noise around the precinct as minimal as possible…

We understand sir. We have surveillance in the venue. And a drone overhead. The precinct is secure. Over…

Do you? I was unaware you were on the inside too.

Yes Commodore. Standard procedure.

Yes. I suppose it is…

We should also let you know…

Yes? interrupted Petersen curiously.

You have other eyes on you...

Behind the false walls I assume?

Yes Commodore…

How many?

Quite a few…

Any risks?

No they are just internal busy-bodies. That’s all…

Junior clergy looking for cheap thrills? asked Petersen.

Mostly—yes…

Backstage, amidst this distorted Regis bible commemoration, Dolly’s powdered bottom, the replacement of a dwarf for the baby Regis—amongst the straw, stuffed animals, puppets and wise men—Tristan looked at her cue sheet. They were close to the start of Sir Nigel’s show.

Tristan—make sure Dunstan has the Donkey-General ready won’t you, said Lamb.

Stage call for Dunstan and the Donkey-General… (Ring!)

Percy—stop nagging me, scolded Tristan, Can’t you see I’m busy?

Okay. Calm down Tristan! I’m just checking. Don’t want anything to go wrong—do we? said Lamb defensively.

Stage call for my TG’s. Get ready darlings. Summer check on Gloria and the others please. Check the make-up… You’re on with Dunstan and Sir Nigel shortly… (Ring!)

Someone asked Tristan where O’Malley was. After the main curtains closed, the Traumatist stayed on duty. They’d been forgotten with the festivities still alive out front. Tristan, Dirk and Micah walked briskly onto the stage and approached them.

We nearly forgot you! You can stand-down now, Tristan directed the Traumatist. He released his grip on O’Malley’s neck, much to his relief.

You can un-cuff ‘im now thanks, added Dirk, concerned for O’Malley. The Traumatist nodded processing that the request was reasonable.

"Tommy hold still. He’s going to take your fitting out now.