The Gala Ball Proposal: SEASON ONE - EPISODE FOUR

By Kevin Karmalade

In this episode, readers are asked to regress some eighteen months back into 2025, into the lead-up to a Gala Ball. Sir Perceval Lamb attends a meeting at St. Dandy’s Cathedral, where he applies to hire the Old Vestry as a venue—for his charity event. He must first obtain Archbishop Garibaldi’s permission. The character, ‘Kevin Karmalade’ enters the scene for a short cameo: one of several guises he will have through the series. In this scene he has been rostered on as a temporary under-butler.

Perceval Lamb and Dirk are shown into the rectory. Lamb puts his proposal to the archbishop. Dirk accompanies Lamb, as part of his training. The reader becomes aware Archdeacon Alfonso may also be ‘in’ on Lamb’s unusual charity arrangements. In the room, exotic deacon-servants serve dinner to Lamb, Dirk, Garibaldi and Alfonso. The archbishop and Lamb 'chortle' together as the archbishop slurps his peacock stew.

Before Garibaldi will allow Lamb to hire the most prestigious heritage venue in the state, he interrogates Lamb politely. Lamb attempts to win favour with Garibaldi, by showing him secret documents, smuggled out of the Dominus Regis. They are the equivalent of cabinet papers, which the archbishop is keenly interested in. Although Garibaldi has a moral choice not to take or read them, he doesn’t hesitate to digest them. The Gala Ball is approved so that preparations can be commenced.

This tongue in cheek episode uses a language and tone that is a throwback to traditional drawing-room scenes of the Victorian era. The Regina series to a limited extent, borrows elements of language from that era. It's placed with restraint and gives the scene a subtle sepia or vintage feel. Karmalade’s admiration for writer, Evelyn Waugh (1903-66) is apparent in his writing style and choice of words. Both writers have an affinity for words in and of themselves. Even allowing at times, words to take precedence over the insights and movements of the characters.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: May 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9781642376340

Book preview

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EPISODE FOUR

The Gala Ball Proposal

Lamb prepares to host a mythical tarot, fancy-dress ball; Love & Contempt; Karmalade anticipates the archbishop’s instructions; Garibaldi is anxious to keep church secrets private; Lamb and Dirk meet in Garibaldi’s rectory; details of the ball are proposed; the Docklands redevelopment discussed; Lamb negotiates with secret documents; Mrs Albertus’s elixir; the hire of the Old Vestry is consummated; Karmalade prepares for the nightly trip to the civil service tenements.

2025 - 8 weeks before the ball…

5.45pm 24 October 2025

Sir Perceval Lamb pulled an envelope-sized card from the inside sleeve of his blazer jacket. He handed it to Dirk. Lamb checked the silk handkerchief was sitting upright in his right-hand pocket. Then he adjusted his burgundy cravat.

Park in the cathedral’s forecourt Tristan, said Lamb, from the lounge of the new Monarch Ambassador RV. I’ll need you to wait Trisey—to take me to our next appointment with the Attorney-general tonight. Octavia, you can come with me to the Attorney-general’s meeting. Tristan, you will need to take Rhapsody home first and then come back and get me and Octavia later.

Some of the cathedral’s hornsmen approached to admire the smart-looking RV. Over to the left on a large lawn square, St. Dandy’s aerial monks and dwarfs were practising an ecclesiastic high-wire exercise. They performed the routines at state-funerals and special services, costumed as angelic beings. And at services with St. Dandy’s flying pulpit priests, who were famous throughout the congregation of states, because of their unique sermons and skills. Dirk watched as some of the dwarfs became air-borne; releasing themselves from their high wire swings. They fell neatly into a huge aboveground safety net, to which they bounced up from and landed again. It was expertly done and fun to watch them practise.

Are they the angelic troupe Sir Percy?

They’re good aren’t they…–we’ll be using some of them in the show at the ball.

Tristan waved to the hornsmen as she manoeuvred the RV into the guest-parking bay. In the RV’s lounge, Dirk was reading the invitation that Lamb wanted Archbishop Garibaldi to approve:

Sir Perceval Lamb, Chaplain-General of the Confraternity of St. Dandy’s Episcopal and Vice-Chancellor of the National Indulgences Museum… …welcomes you to a mythical tarot fancy dress & fantasy mask Gala Ball Spectacular… there will be traditional entertainment and some organised reformation garden games. Come in your team colours if you wish… bring your generosity… join us in the great celebration of the Regis Nativity. Please forward all charitable donations to the CCC’s donations in-box below…"

Sir Percy, these invitations…—you’ve already printed them?

Percy didn’t get them printed darling. I did of course…

"Yes that’s right Trisey. You got them printed because I told