The Wedding's Season

By Artur Friedberg

Recollection of youthful, romantic and passionate love, which never turned into stable relationship; tragically ended marriage, and other personal and family problems; very difficult, often controversial life of a talented actress under communism in Poland, described day in day out, and which almost parenthetically covering the last twenty years of the regime; and the clandestine activities of opposition against the communism; are the few threads of this multidimensional novel.

The contemporary dimension of the novel comprises Polish post-communism and built up of the new social class called red bourgeoisie and the way the main character is confronted with religious ignorance and intolerance; corruption and frequent appearance of cases of perverse, often duplicitous accusations of collaboration with the ex communist security system, aiming as an embarrassing argument in political and private matters; and often instrumental as a blackmail. There are other, political, moral and social overtones, too.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Legend Press
• Release date: Apr 21, 2016
• ISBN: 9781785078545

Book preview

**

Letter 1.

12 October 199…

Jerry to Karol

Dear Karol,

It has been a while since I wrote you last time. However, I must admit that lately, I am in no particular mood writing letters at all. It is probably due to the depressive autumn weather, affecting my body, and which starts telling me that it is the highest time to slow down with work, and perhaps with sport activities as well. Last months were indeed quite chaotic and full of tension, but after Magda and I finally decided to stay apart for good; my life returned to a complete normality. As a result, the long-standing conflict situation with my daughter Helene became more or less over, and my son Janek (who tried hard to mediate between Helene and me) is fully satisfied with the new situation, too. Helene and Janek, as you know, were always very close siblings, and during the prolonged period of time that they lived in Geneva, they became even closer. Helene and Eveline (Janek’s wife) were as usual very good friends too, and my first grandchild Roger (called after Roger Federer, the still growing in fame Swiss tennis player) used to be their great preoccupation. Now, Helene lives again more in our family home than in Geneva. And however, I am feeling very happy because of that; nevertheless, I am concerned about the fact that she still remains single and keeps young men who are showing interest in her company on a rather long distance. On the other hand, her artistic career, as a cello soloist is developing very well, while I am only concerned about her personal life, because as higher she gets with artistic successes, as more lonely she may become. It is true that she in her life underwent several traumatic events, such as sudden death of her mother, and dramatic operation on her lungs, and I believe those events could have certainly had an influence on formation of her character. She became more aggressive in her strife for musical perfection, and unfortunately, more possessive and intolerant towards me. It is more or less over now since her dream mother Linda is visiting us more often, and she regards Linda’s daughter Clare, almost unquestionably, as her younger sister. I think her possessiveness was a result of my ambition to fill in after the death of Vera the role of both parents, when both of the children were still very young. Janek never accepted that, and therefore left our home as soon as he could, while Helene accepted the new reality very willingly, but became an intolerable monster. Reflecting upon those facts, I must conclude that it was wrong decision that I took in my life. Nevertheless, at the time, when the children were small, their protection from unexpected events and safeguarding of their future was the paramount task of my life. Now, in a perspective, I must admit it was a typical reaction of an émigré, who knew well what instability, and lack of security could mean, and who always tried to protect his children from a similarly uncertain lot.

Sometime ago, you asked me on the phone, and then in a letter, what went wrong in my relationship with Magda, and I didn’t reply to your request for information for a quite long time. I think; I still needed time and a sort of perspective in order to work out myself the question, too. Our relationship was not suddenly down, as you probably thought. After the first almost two very happy years, it was eroded gradually and there were different factors, which played an important role in its down turn and then demise. Obviously, Helene was one of the factors, I would not deny that, but looking backwards, I think, she did not play the decisive role. Saying that however, I must admit, she was not too helpful and presented a quite disturbing factor. You see, Magda was never interested in music, particularly classical one, and that was one of the reasons that she and Helene could never find a common ground for conversation. Besides, to Helene, the presence of Magda around became a problem, because in her view, Magda was taking my attention away from her – in other words, a rival and that additionally polarized their relationship. Nevertheless, I definitely do not blame Helene for the break between Magda and me. After all, it was entirely our own problem and we were the only one who took such and not another decision in the whole matter.

It definitely was not a matter of diverted attraction towards another person by either side, but I have to admit that when she for the first time suggested a separation from one another, I did not protest and accepted it at once. Magda was somewhat surprised with my immediate agreement with her proposal. I think she perhaps expected me to protest or attempting negotiation of the terms of reconciliation, but I did not do it. She just asked me whether it also means that I would like to get back the letter of her mother too; the letter that time ago, I entrusted with her. I did not remember about that letter, written in 1960s, addressed to me but never sent, which Magda found after her mother’s death, but I nodded affirmatively and added that I would not mind if she took a copy of it. Next day she returned from the university and put the original letter on the table; I took it, and put in the pocket of my jacket without saying a word. Magda started crying. I asked her why she is crying. Then, after a while, she replied that she did not expect such an end of our relationship. I said that I did not expect it either, but since she so courageously touched upon that topic, I honestly admitted, with a relief that I agreed with her. It was indeed the highest time to stop it anyway; since we could not agree on almost anything we used to agree before. As a result, we were constantly quarreling with one another. When she left for the afternoon seminars with students, I called some hotels and eventually found a room for myself, for another three days, which I needed because of the program we were running at Olga’s institute; and then

I quit.

I put the key of her apartment through the letterbox and left a small note where she could find me in the course of the next three days and in the evenings, in case there could be matters, which perhaps would need my attention. She did not call me to my hotel at all. On the day of my departure, Olga asked me, whether I would need a lift to the airport, I just nodded. From the way she put the question, I understood that she knew well about our break. When we went outside the building in order to collect Olga’s car, Magda was already standing there, in front of her car. She just said quietly:

‘Olga, I will take him to the airport; we still haven’t finished our last conversation.’ Olga withdrew without saying a word, while I simply put my luggage in the boot of Magda’s car. She started the engine and before we departed, she simply put the key of her apartment, which I returned to her, on the dashboard and said quietly:

‘Please, take it back and forget about what I said three days ago. I am sorry, but I must have been in a rather bad mood. It was you who were right.’

‘Magda, I don’t want you to agree with me unquestionably, I simply don’t understand why lately we always contradict one another. I think we do not listen carefully enough to our mutual arguments any more. Therefore, once you suggested a separation I immediately accepted it because I found it to be one of the solutions how to stop the wrangling. If you ask me whether I wanted it, my answer is no, but it could still be better than what we have now.’

‘When would we meet again?’ She asked me quietly.

‘I would suggest beginning of February; as far as I know, you would have a week free, before the beginning of exams in your department, and I think that could be a good time for you to come for a visit to Zurich, and perhaps for few days to Davos, too.’

‘No, for skating I prefer Nowy Targ1, would you go together with me? I could do all the bookings beforehand.’

I accepted her proposal, however, inwardly, I knew why she didn’t want to come to Zurich – she could never find a common language with Helene, became touchy about her, and quite soon gave up any attempts to improve relationship with her, which I found regrettable. From that conversation onwards, we both very carefully observed the unspoken rule and were always looking for a way out of controversial matters than touching them upon... Unfortunately, it was not always successful; and as a result, we used to meet less frequently and call one another not too often either. We simply started drifting away from one another and nothing could stop it or change its course.

Otherwise, we all are doing very well,

With best regards to all of you including Maria,

Jerry

Letter 2.

15 January 200…

Jerry to Karol.

Dear Karol,

I read your letter with full attention and with a surprise realized that indeed, you were right. In my last letter to you, I did not mention with a simple word the main reasons for my total dissonance in relationship with Magda, as I would define it using musical terminology. I think I did it rather subconsciously than on purpose, but in fact, it was perhaps a way to forget all about it. Nonetheless, I agree with you that once I said something, I should be more clear and specific in defining the problem. Because telling you only that we broke with one another is not good enough. As so far, only a very close circle of persons knew the real situation, while both of us were desperately trying to pretend that everything is still in order.

If you asked me why, I would only say that we both were aware how much we wanted to be together and hoped that in time the differences between us would clarify and would not play so important role in our relationship anymore. Unfortunately, it all went differently than I thought and ironically, opposite to the wish of both of us.

The first symptoms of what later became a real problem, I got when we were in Sweden for a winter vacation – happily skating across the frozen lakes from one tourist hut to another. Just after reaching the next destination - a following tourist station, eating something and preparing our sleeping places, Magda suddenly asked me whether I know anything more detailed about St. Augustine. She tried to get some information about him from her uncle Piotr, a Catholic priest, but as she said, he declined, saying that he actually had nothing, which could be suitable for her to read about him. I asked her why did she suddenly become interested in theology, and she replied that during the last church service she attended in Warsaw, before we left for Sweden, a monk priest who celebrated the service, mentioned St. Augustine few times in his sermon. Because she knew far too little about St. Augustine, so she became curious. I replied to her questions as much as I could, as well as to the next one, in more detailers. Those questions were concerned with such theological problems as Holy Trinity, the schism within the Church, Maria Magdalene and role of different gospels on formation of the New Testament, and some others2. Eventually, our theological discussion with Magda ended up and did not come back any more. Therefore, I saw no reason to ask her whether there was any follow up of her ‘theological" education.

Sometime later, in Poland, as you remember, quite suddenly, arose a problem of nuns who occupied a house adjacent to the part of the concentration camp Oświęcim (Auschwitz), called Brzezinka (Birkenau), in which more than one million Jews were killed and then burned in crematorium during the last war. Nearby, at the place called gravel heap, where many prisoners and mainly Jews were killed, a large cross in memory of the pope John Paul II visit to that place, was erected. The nuns began regular prayers at that cross for the souls of the killed Poles. The international Jewish community started protesting regarding that part of the camp as a tragic Jewish cemetery, which became desecrated by the nuns and the presence of the cross itself. In the defense of the nuns suddenly came most of the hierarchy of the Polish Catholic Church, its primate including, and part of the nationalistically oriented press, saying that Jews are not going to tell them what they may or may not do in Brzezinka, because it is on their soil. At the same time, some orthodox groups of Jews from USA arrived to Poland and went to the camp in order to pray there, too. The whole situation became very emotional and internationally embarrassing, because the old demons of anti-Semitism and intolerance quite suddenly and uncontrollable started to spread around the country. The government at the time (an ex-communists one), pretended not to see the problem, so the whole situation gradually became more and more serious and was getting out of hands.

Meanwhile, from within the Catholic Church, there was an international mediation in the matter by the archbishops of Paris, Brussels and Vienna, and a proposal was to build at that place an interdenominational center of prayers; proposal in principal accepted by the bishop of Krakow, too. However, I do not need to tell you how the whole problem have been solved, or rather postponed - "Ad Kalendas Graecas3". In other words, the problem remains unresolved, but at certain moment the pope felt embarrassed and impatient by the situation and gave a clear signal of dissatisfaction with the stubbornly inflexible position, the Polish Church took in the matter, and at least the nuns were quickly evacuated.

At the top of the whole conflict, Magda called me and ask what I think about it, and why the Jews were making so much, as she said noise, because the nuns were praying for all dead people who lost their lives in that camp. I told her that it is true that not only Jews were among the killed in the camp. However, in that particular part of the camp (Brzezinka), there were Jews who were predominantly the victims, and that she forgets that those Jews, who were killed in the camp, lost their lives for the only reason that they were Jews, and not for any other reason. I also said that it is an evidence of lack of sensitivity from the side of the Polish Catholic society and the Church in particular, which does not listen to the arguments of the other part, at all. I told her also that it is an irony and hypocrisy to evangelize the dead people of different religious believe and praying there under a cross, a Christian symbol, on their common, anonymous grave, while the same Christianity persecuted the Jews for the last sixteen centuries. Perhaps I used rather emotional arguments too, but Magda suddenly felt offended and without a word put the receiver down. Then it followed another embarrassing incident at the gravel heap of Brzezinka, with a fellow who started putting more and more crosses in that part of the camp, in so-called defense of the papal cross. Finally, the situation became almost hysterical, and the government finally reacted - all the newly put crosses together with the fellow, were removed from the camp.

Looking at the whole problem described above in the perspective, I must say that my personal impression is that the affair around those crosses has been an emotional social phenomenon, which in my view seemed to present a rather pagan type of adoration directed towards the cross as a physical object than as a religious symbol of monotheistic believe. It looked as a sort of another variety of very literal, intolerant, and close to hysterical believes; surprisingly, still calling itself a Christian one.

During that period, I visited Poland twice due to the project we were carrying out with Olga’s institute, but I stayed at your place, and away from Magda, as you perhaps remember. Olga told me with indignation that Magda very emotionally and triumphed reported to her the content of our last phone conversation and that she personally together with some other persons went to the camp and added some more crosses to the already standing there. Olga found it regrettable, but I did not comment on her report. I felt embarrassed by the new to me situation, and concluded that perhaps her uncle Piotr, being as I thought, a rather conservative Catholic priest, had such a destructive influence on her, and I intended to talk to him, but eventually have chosen the tactics of wait and see.

Unexpectedly, Magda’s uncle Piotr called Olga asking her how could he get in touch with me, and she gave him your home phone number, knowing that I am staying at your place. He called me on the same evening and asked for a meeting as soon as possible. I accepted his request without any comments and went to the city of S in order to see the man. My conversation with Piotr was one of the most interesting conversations of my life, which totally changed our relation towards one another.

As I understood from what he was saying, he knew the situation in my relationship with Magda quite well, and with regret explained to me that Magda fell under influence of very conservative and nationalistically oriented Catholic group of people, and the ideologically and politically manipulative radio M. She was even helping them with some translations from English into Polish. She told him that I gave her wrong information about the Holy Trinity, and St. Augustine and that she checked it with respectable authorities in the city of T (the city where the radio M is settled) and they assured her that the Holy Trinity was at the very beginning of the Christianity, and denied anti-feminism of St. Augustine. Piotr in the conversation with her neither denied nor confirmed what she said but simply gave her, however with some reservation, some books dealing with those problems to read.’ He said:

‘I hope she would read them and find the answers to the questions she has got some doubts about.’ Then he added:

‘I am finding deeply regrettable the whole Oświęcim (Auschwitz) affair too, and am really very much concerned about your future as a couple, although I know that you both love one another very much.’

‘I confirmed that I am seriously concerned about it as well, but in the present circumstances, there is very little that I can or wish to do about. I did not comment his remark about Oświęcim, because what he said sounded to me too ambiguous. Then he suggested that perhaps a permanent change of environment could help Magda. I agreed with him and told him that I already suggested to her such a solution sometime ago, but she very decisively rejected it; and then he added reflectively:

‘You see, I still don’t understand: she was so open minded concerning her mother’s rights to remember and regret her lack of courage to follow her spontaneous attraction to a young man of different faith; and now, just suddenly such a lack of understanding and mistrust towards the person she claimed to love and trust. Perhaps it is a matter of a premature physical and mental change, all women are undergoing at certain, often somewhat different time in their forties. What do you think?’

‘I didn’t deny that it could be the case, but if that indeed was the reason for her emotional instability, there is very little we could do except advising her to go and see a specialist and start taking a respective hormone cure. He agreed with me and promised to talk to her about it. I asked him why in his opinion the position of the Catholic hierarchy in the country is so divided and lacks a definite guideline and unanimity, which is reflected in disorientation of the Christian society too. After a long pause, he replied, in general terms that there were probably more political reasons (often related to the past) and perhaps quite often-economical one, too. Then he added that the lately demonstrated mean-minded parochialism in dealing with religious hysteria is harming the Church and the image of the country as a whole. At that moment, his position in the matter of Auschwitz became clear to me, and I was grateful for his honesty and boldness, and felt a lot of sympathy for the man.

However, after some time, Magda eventually admitted that I was right concerning the Holy Trinity and St. Augustine, but her declaration didn’t bring us closer to one another, she remained quite distant to me with sorts of unspecified mistrusts. I accepted that her departure from my life is imminent. Quite recently, Magda initiated another conversation about our relationship and we peacefully separated for good. Her uncle Piotr called me for another meeting telling me that Magda considers entering an order with the intention to become a missionary. He said that as a priest, he feels nothing but a joy but as her close relative, he felt devastated by the news. I saw tears in his eyes, and told him that however, I did not know about her intentions; I sincerely regret her decision, too. We promised to one another to keep in touch from time to time in the matters concerning Magda. However, the end of my relation with Magda was rather expected; the reason for its termination was never obvious to me. Fortunately, her intentions to enter an order and become a missionary ended up by persuading her to teach English on preparatory courses for missionaries and to remain in the academic position at the university. She only had to reduce the amount of courses she was giving to the university personnel. During one of my visits to Warsaw, Piotr informed me with satisfaction that Magda broke contacts with the group collaborating with radio M and is often helping him in social actions organized locally. At that time, she already knew that her uncle Piotr and I are communicating with one another on the phone. That is all what I had to say about it and promise not to bother you any longer with my boring theological deliberations.

With best regards to all of you,

Yours,

Jerry.

Letter 3.

23 January 2…

Magda to Jerry.

Dear Jerry,

I am very thankful for your Christmas wishes and the phone on December 31st. Uncle Piotr was very touched by your phone, too. Although, I knew that you both were in touch, already for some time, but have been surprised to hear that if I am not wrong, you also became good friends, and were mutually calling one another by first names. Something, I could never expect from both of you! To me, it sounds like a bitter and ironic pill: we are not together any more, while you, a reflective and well educated religious skeptic and perhaps an agnostic, on one side, and my uncle Piotr, a rather conservative (as I thought) Catholic priest on the other, became friends! I still wonder what it was that brought you two so close together.

I think, I have never clearly explained to you the reason I finally decided to terminate our relationship, and of course, I owe you some explanations.

The time of my total and naively emotional religious believe, misused by some manipulators in their own interest, is behind me, and since that time,

I understood a lot. Nevertheless, I remain a very emotional and conventional Catholic believer and need a regular contact with the Church in order to keep myself in a mental balance. I think I am realizing those needs by being often around my uncle Piotr, who in fact is far less conservative than I thought before. I am also often helping in his social actions on the behalf of poor, neglected people and orphan children, and I am always feeling so proud that he accepts my presence and help in such a natural way.

The other reason, and I think, the most important one, is that I am feeling very much embarrassed and ashamed by my ignorance about my own believe, and about the accusations I made so loudly concerning your intentions, after you informed me about the theological questions I asked you about.

I have to admit my blindness and populist stupidity with regard to those questions. I even went to the concentration camp Oświęcim (Auschwitz) and added another cross to those already present there. Please, forgive me, if you can, for what I have done; I still feel deeply ashamed of myself. I later understood that such an act was like to desecrate a cemetery of another religion, which is a very serious sin…’

‘In fact, I still feel like a small and stupid girl, and think that you should have lost respect for me as a person, and to my ability to understand and analyze matters beyond a school level of a catechism taught by a narrow-minded catechist. To be honest with you, in the beginning, I had been scared

by the information I learned by reading books about the history of Christianity and the diversity it presented in the course of the first centuries of its formation.

In a way, and after a moment of reflection, I finally understood what you meant by saying some years ago, in your letter reporting your first encounter with my uncle Piotr that you did not foresee any religious problem in our relationship as long as we remain tolerant and loyal towards one another... At that moment, I realized that I was neither tolerant nor loyal towards you, and therefore, fell in panic with my bad conscious and wanted to punish myself. My first idea was to enter an order, become a missionary and run, somewhere far away… Thanks to my uncle Piotr, I didn’t do it; he convinced me to show carriage and admit to you all those stupidities I have done; and that it would be far more useful if I decided teaching English the future missionary, and indeed that is precisely what I am already doing with enthusiasm.

Finally, I would like to tell you that although I still love you very much,

I do not think we should change anything in our actual status quo. Let us allow the time to be our honest adviser and peace broker.

With best regards,

Magda.

PS. Tell me please, how did you acquire so much knowledge of theological nature.

Letter 4

3 February 2…

Jerry to Magda.

Dear Magda,

Thank you for your letter of 23 January. I could imagine that to write what you wrote to me, was not easy, and cost you a painful and almost a desperate decision. Just to answer your first question – I have been often in touch with your uncle Piotr being concern about you, but that did not make us suddenly friends; it was something different, which brought us close towards one another: a complete human honesty and openness in discussion, mutual respect and of course, sympathy, which remains a completely irrational phenomenon. One cannot explain why one feels more sympathy towards a definite person and not towards another one. The fact that he is a Catholic priest, while I remain a non-practicing Jew with tendencies towards agnosticism, did not really matter. Besides, we are relatively close in age and therefore, have different from yours but quite similar experience from the past: the times of German occupation and then oppressive communism.

Magda, I do not intend to go back into details about the whole matter you have been presenting to me. I just would like to emphasize that I have always respected your religious believe and only wished to be respected in return but not to weaken or change your own way of seeing or practicing religion. In fact, that was the area, which I always preferred to keep away from our relationship. I know, the circumstances on the ground, which polarized in the country quite a lot of people, suddenly involved us too, into a controversial discussion, while the old demons of hatred took for a moment over the rational…I don’t think, you should carry any feeling of guilt any longer. You finally understood the problem and that indeed is essential. Whereas, the fact that your religious education was as it was, is not your fault, you simply showed a brightness and curiosity far beyond your principle knowledge in the matter, and that caused the turbulent collision, and the need to review your whole internal emotional world.

Pure educationally, and just in order to broaden your knowledge on

Judaism, you ought to know that traditionally, to evangelize is not at all the purpose of Jewish religion, which is tribal, and therefore, to me as a Jew, there is no need to compete for a more visually attractive presentation of worshiping God in order to gain new believers. Between you and me, I think that in fact, the Christian way is far more visually attractive, anyway. Thus, regardless of that fact; if anyone, who suddenly, and for own personal reasons wished to convert to Judaism; he or she is usually rather discouraged then encouraged in doing so; and the very important argument against the conversion is always that to be a Jew, is neither very easy, nor particularly advantageous from the historical perspective point of view. Paradoxically, because of a rather negative attitude towards evangelicalism, Judaism is often accused in elitism, condescending towards others, or even arrogance; qualities which all monotheist religions so often are demonstrating, because each of them by definition denies the truthfulness of the others. As far as I know, the only period of time when Jewish oligarchs actively lobbied (but not really evangelized, since it was never written into religion principles) for the Judaism, was in the course of the IV century when the powerful Cesar Constantine began considering, which religion to chose in order to unify his empire and reinforce his reign. Taking into account his primarily political reasons, I am not surprised of his final choice. Never mind what I think about it in historical perspective; let us leave the religious subjects for the time being, and for good.

I wish you all the best in the way you have chosen to live your life and hope you will find peace with yourself and satisfaction from helping the disadvantages.

With best regards,

Jerry.

PS. Once when I twisted an anklebone on a rock while coming down hill, I had to go through a convalescence, which included except for exercises, a lot of relaxation in a horizontal position. I have been lucky to have an access to a very good philosophical and theological library, and made a maximum use of it.

**

About two years later, on a bright February morning, Jerry arrived by flight at the Warsaw airport and Olga collected him personally. Her personal presence at the airport surprised him, since he knew how busy she was those days. He saw Olga already from a distance: a well built, carrying her head high, and with her straw-yellow hair slicked back, and as usual, with a smile lit up her face. She was about mid forties at the time, but looked younger and attractive.

‘Olga, it is very nice of you to pick me up personally but you know very well that it wasn’t necessary, I could simply take a taxi.’

‘You are right but I did it on purpose. You see, I wanted to tell you in private that Magda very categorically demanded from me to tell her when, and in which hotel you are going to stay during your next visit to Warsaw. Knowing that you both have already split from one another, her demand surprised me, but eventually, I gave up under pressure and told her that you will, as usual stay in Grand Hotel, whatever the hotel’s new name is going to be. I hope you are not cross with me because of it, are you?’

‘No, not at all, but it is good that I know about it. Of course, I do not know the reason she wanted to know it, but it is just okay. Perhaps I have forgotten something in her apartment during my last stay there, who knows?’

‘I strongly suspect that it has something to do with Beata, who is actually in town again, and is singing in a jazz club, somewhere in the old city, and

Magda is afraid you may get in touch with her again. I don’t know, but to me it looks like a still not extinct sort of possessive jealousy or passion, why not?’ She said ironically and looked inquisitively at him.

Some years ago, he indeed had a short but rather turbulent relation with Beata, who used to be a cousin of Olga’s husband Leszek.

‘Olga, perhaps you are right, but I don’t think that’s the case. Besides, I knew about Beata being in Warsaw again, anyway. A month ago, she wrote me that she is going to spend the carnival in Warsaw, and would be singing jazz in a club. You see, I didn’t reply to her letter, so, she doesn’t know I am coming to Warsaw, unless, you told her.’

‘No, I didn’t. I burned my fingers with her in the past, and wouldn’t wish to be again entangled in her personal problems, and I couldn’t possibly do it to you either, it would be very unfair.’

‘Very well, thank you Olga. You are really a good girl and a very good friend.’

Jerry did not tell Olga that he not only knew about Beata’s presence in Warsaw, but he also received from her an invitation to see her in that jazz club located in the old city. Indeed, he did not reply to her letter but did not rule out visiting the club either, providing there would be spare time available. Time ago, after Beata’s divorce, Olga even actively attempted to act as a matchmaker between Beata and Jerry. At that time, they were together very briefly and Jerry quit the relationship abruptly. All that because in spite of the fact that he highly valued Beata’s vocal and musical talent, nevertheless, she was far too egocentric in her demands of his involvement in building up her musical career. To Jerry, being a widower with two children not yet fully independent, and still himself professionally active, such an attitude could not present an acceptable alternative. Nevertheless, after some years, they by correspondence restored a sort of friendly but quite distant relationship.

His actual visit to Warsaw was in fact a combination of a short official visit to Olga’s institute and a private one: Karol, his cousin invited him to attend a wedding of his older daughter Maria, the one from his first marriage. Both Jerry’s children - Helene and Janek promised to attend it too, but they intended to be present only during the marriage - ceremony and perhaps the wedding festivities, and would quit at once, due to lack of time.

After intense family consultations, during which they could not agree upon one wedding present, they finally decided to buy two separate one: one from Jerry, and another one from Helene and Janek collectively. Jerry left Zurich for Warsaw with his present in the pocket: a beautiful watch of good quality, while Helene and Janek were still debating what to buy.

After arriving to his hotel and checking in, he found two messages waiting for him at the reception. One was from Karol, asking for a call to his office as soon as possible, and another one, as expected, from Magda, asking for a meeting in his hotel on the same evening. As soon as Jerry reached his room and unpacked his belongings, he called Magda first under her university phone number, fixing their meeting for 8.30 pm in the hotel, and then called Karol, who suggested a meeting during the lunchtime in the restaurant of his hotel. Karol arrived even before the lunch, and called from the lobby that he is already taking a table in the restaurant. Jerry came to the restaurant as soon as he could, and seeing Karol being in a hurry and looking rather nervous, he asked:

‘Karol, what happened?’

‘I have got almost no time left and a big problem still on my hands: it is as you may guess, due to Maria’s wedding-ceremony. As you already know, Maria is going to marry a young engineer belonging to the same group of young people who time ago has started rediscovering their Jewish roots. Since that time, they became close and now they decided to take a Jewish wedding ceremony and I am very glad about it. However, the problem is with Agnieszka, her mother, who refuses to attend such a ceremony. You know well my ex-wife and I do not need to tell you her reasons for such a decision. She said that since the ceremony is not going to be in the Catholic Church, she would only attend the civil ceremony, which she did, and that is it. Maria is feeling very unhappy about it; she would wish very much her mother to accept her choice of believe and style of life, but could not change her mind. My only hope is in you Jerry. I remember that after our divorce, you still used to be quite friendly with both her and her second husband, so perhaps you could try to convince her to come to her daughter’s wedding ceremony, after all?’

‘I see, you believe in my power of persuasion. I would like to remind you that in the past, I kept contacts with Agnieszka because of Catherine, who was her close friend, and incidentally, I simply knew her new man and the future second husband from the student’s club. Besides, I haven’t met both of them for years, so you could hardly call my relations with them friendly, while in reality, we are rather distant towards one another in space and time.’

‘But still, you are the only person who can help me. If only Catherine was alive she certainly would try to help me in such a matter.’

‘Karol, I would like to help you, too; but have doubts how much success I could have with Agnieszka. In any case, let me have her phone number.’

Late in the evening, about 8.15 pm, Jerry went to the lobby of his hotel in order to wait for Magda’s arrival. He preferred meeting her there and not to give even a least impression that he might wish to meet her in his hotel room. It was not that much that he wanted to appear very formally and distant towards her; no, he simply didn’t want to let Magda have any doubts that he is hoping for a sort of intimacy with her again and consequently, might still feel to be dependent on her. His obsessive feelings of integrity and independence were far stronger than any romantic feelings for her, or any else woman. Perhaps, except for Catherine… but she is dead for already so long time …

Magda arrived on time. She was dressed elegantly but modestly, her swarthy complexion discreetly lightened by a make-up, but still it could not cover up that her eyes expressed tension and face looked tired. Jerry kissed her formally on her cheek and asked whether she would care for a cup of coffee. Magda just nodded without saying a word and they went to the hotel’s cafeteria.

‘Do you realize that we are meeting in the same place where we met for the first time, some years ago? So much happened since that time…’ she said with a sad expression on her face.

At that moment, Jerry decided to act rational and not to allow for somewhat cloudy and sentimental turn of the conversation:

‘Magda, it is indeed true, but I presume, you did not call me to this meeting in order to tell me all that; did you?’

‘No, I didn’t. But still, I hope to hear from you personally a clear word that you forgive me for all those stupid things I have done, otherwise I cannot find a peace with myself,’ she said, and gave him a side look, so much characteristic, and in which she very clearly resembled her mother, whom Jerry knew in the beginning of 1960s. Without saying a word, Jerry bent slightly forwards, and kissed her on her cheek. Then he said:

‘Magda, believe me, I really don’t bear any grudge against you; it is true that what happened between us couldn’t just be wiped out, but in my view, it wasn’t entirely your fault; you have been simply an emotional product of a typical upbringing of many young parents at the time of communist regime. Catholic parents at that time usually and regularly were denying in private conversations with their children everything what the Marxists said about the Church’s teaching, even if it was true, by pure chance. They have done that all in order to repulse the ideological indoctrination of the communist state. However, by doing so, they in consequence were often indoctrinating their children towards an opposite direction. Perhaps it was my fault too; perhaps I should have simply told you that I don’t know too much about the St. Augustine, and that since I am living far away from the country, I knew nothing about the actual problems related to the concentration camp Brzezinka either. The problem with me is that I cannot stand lies and conformity in principle matters, even if it could eventually hurt me, too.’

‘Jerry, thank you for what you just said. I am feeling much better now, and I finally understood you better than ever before. However, you have been right in most of the principle matters, which I questioned, but the reason I asked you to see me was indeed different. I need your advice in the following matter: since I broke up with the people around the radio M, they several times tried to bring me back into their ranks. Because I definitely refused to be drown back any longer, and chose instead to help more often Uncle Piotr in his actions on the behalf of orphans and poor; they started a slanderous whispering campaign against Uncle Piotr and me.’

‘It is terrible; you ought to know that as so far, it used to be a typical and very perfidious method of intimidation, applied by the most obscure religious cults,’ he said. And then continued:’ It also tells me how important to them person they lost. But tell me, please, what they said against you and uncle Piotr?’

‘They either suggest that I am a lover of Uncle Piotr, or that I am his illegitimate daughter. What do you think I should do about it?’

‘Do you think, you could identify a particular person who most probably, could have been initiating those