How to Jump and Find Your Wings on the Way Down: How to get out and stay out of a bad relationship

By Joni Salomon

It took me 13 years to finish writing this book because of the angst in having to relive my past and allow myself to feel the raw emotions of what it was like to be a victim of domestic violence. Over the years, I have changed. I am no longer that women who initially started writing this book. I am thankful that I did start writing the book 13 years ago when the abuse was fresh. This allowed me to capture the details such as crawling on the tan carpet with rug burns on my knees or to remember the sting of the Listerine being thrown in my eyes and up my nose. With each client who was a victim of abuse, I gained strength and motivation to complete the book. As clients sat in front of me reliving their nightmare, I wished so many days, I had my book to give them to help them through their pain and to let them know, they will survive. In this book, I put aside my embarrassment of what I endured and for simply allowing it. I chronicle my thought process and relive the nightmare and its impact on my physical and mental well being. I did not write this book for sensationalism but to connect with other victims and help them out of their nightmare. For many will find comfort in knowing that someone in my position who is successful, educated, strong endured abuse. I devote a chapter on what to expect when you end up in Court with your abuser. I chronicle the oft need for the abuser to use the courtroom as their new forum to continue their abuse. I discuss the pitfalls of family court and its limitations. The book calls out typical excuses victims use to convince themselves to say. I dispel those myths and the cold realty of the consequences for staying. This book is for anyone that is in an abusive relationship and cannot find their way out or how to stay out. This book is for anyone who knows someone in an abusive relationship and wants a resource to help them find a way out. This book is for professionals who work with victims that can benefit from understanding victims to better help them see their way out. This is a first book in a series of books I intend to write. Not to brag or boast but it is a powerful witness to the notion that domestic violence does not discriminate against education, status, race or creed. As long as you spread your wings, the wind will carry you. I jumped 16 years ago and found my wings. My life purpose is to help others find theirs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098311735

Book preview

©2020 All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Print ISBN: 978-1-09831-172-8

eBook ISBN: 978-1-09831-173-5

Contents

FORWARD

THE LUXURY OF HONESTY

YOU AINT NO CHICKEN, THE TRUTH

SHALL SET YOU FREE

THE POWER OF FLASH BACKS

JUMP AND FIND YOUR WINGS ON THE WAY DOWN

FORWARD

I first started writing this book 13 years ago. My youngest son was 4 and my oldest was 5 years old. It has taken me this long to perfect it, to get over the embarrassment, to get still enough to get to the raw truth and to hear myself say over and over again, how I wish my book was finished because this or that client/person needed it in their life. I wrote this book to assist those who have been touched by domestic violence in their lives. I wrote this for those who need hope for a better day. I wrote this book for those who are in a bad relationship and want to get out but just do not know how. I wrote this book for those dependent on their partner who are fearful of the repercussions of taking the steps to end the bad relationship. I wrote this book for those who were like me, scared, fearful, not knowing what to do, what to say, and just living in fear knowing life had more to offer but with small children, dependent financially on their partner and not sure of themselves and not sure of much except that the situation they were in was beyond bad. This book is dedicated to my sons who now are 17 and 15 as they were the source of my strength, the fuel to my soul and when I could not do it for myself, they gave me reason to soar. I vowed I would end the domestic violence cycle. I will not raise a monster. This book is also dedicated to my two daughters who are 10 and 6. I never want you to endure the pain I suffered. I never want you to know how it feels to be treated less than human and not be self respected. If me telling my story prevents that, it is all worth the shame and disappointment of reliving my truth.

The reason birds can fly and we can’t is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.

-J.M. Barrie,

The Little White Bird

CHAPTER 1:

THE LUXURY OF HONESTY

One cannot consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.

-Helen Keller

I sat straight