Hope: An Anchor For The Soul

By Ani Tims

In this shocking and ultimately inspiring true story of faith and survival, Ani Tims gives a personal testimony that God has always been there, and how His plans for us, though perhaps difficult to see in the moment, are always miraculous.

In the country where Ani was born, violent crime and AIDS are rampant. Parenting became a nightmare as Ani was afraid to even walk out her front door, constantly worried that her daughters—one of whom was born prematurely and barely survived—would be raped.

After looking down the barrel of a gun pointed at her, Ani relocated halfway around the world to start over in a strange country…the USA, where she survived a house fire and a saddle pulmonary embolism to name a few.

Whether we're ready for them or not, life has no qualms about throwing curveballs our way. Sometimes they come in such quick succession it's like being pummeled by waves: you're tossed around, hit again and again before you can find your footing before you can get up off your knees.

The question is whether you are going to stay down—weighed down by fear, anxiety, uncertainty, hurt, abandonment and rejection? Or be brave enough to find the courage to grow through suffering, to get up, start healing and overcome personal challenges? 

The choice is yours. And as long as you know God is guiding and empowering you, it's an easy choice to make.

Through everything Ani learned that:

God's timing is perfect

We should never underestimate the power of prayer

We should live close to God and become still often to hear His voice in our process of spiritual growth

It is true that we get stronger through trials

We shouldn't attach too much value to earthly belongings

Problems can be resolved if both parties are willing to work together

And ultimately, we are never alone

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ani Tims
• Release date: Nov 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9780578622828

Book preview

Preface

I was in labor for thirty-eight hours, the contractions washing over me like waves—never-ending, one on top of the next, relentless. It felt like I was drowning in the pain, I was exhausted and I couldn’t feel our baby moving anymore, but I was not giving up the fight for his or her life.

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I was at twenty-nine weeks of my pregnancy and it was too early for our baby to arrive. He or she still needed eleven weeks (almost three months) to fully develop even though God allowed me to hold on for about two months since my water broke. I was scared and didn’t know what to expect. I couldn’t even pray.

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Romans 5:2-5 Amplified Bible (AMP)

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2 Through Him we also have access by faith into this [remarkable state of] grace in which we [firmly and safely and securely] stand. Let us rejoice in our [a] hope and the confident assurance of [experiencing and enjoying] the glory of [our great] God [the manifestation of His excellence and power]. 3 And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; 4 and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation]. 5 Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

1

The Early Years

Growing up in our old country in the sixties and seventies was an easy, care-free time, as childhood should be. A time of discovery and falling down, but learning to always get up again.

I was the youngest of three children, with a sister five years older and a brother eight years older than me. They still tell me I was the spoiled baby, which of course is not true, but they both did look out for me whenever I got into trouble, which was (and still is) priceless.

We were a middle-class family with not much in the way of luxury, but our most precious possession was the love and happiness we shared. We always had food on the table and Mom and Dad made sure they took us away on vacation every year—even if it was just to visit family to save money.

We experienced a lot and saw a lot of the beautiful country. We were at the ocean often and loved playing in the waves and spending days on the beach, taking those mental pictures that make up our precious memories, if we care to take them out and look at them from time to time.

Dad was a quiet guy, but wise, with a dry sense of humor. We were very close, although he never treated my brother and sister differently than me.

We grew up in the equivalent of the Methodist Church, went to Sunday school, confirmation classes, church bazaars, and attended church almost every Sunday. God was always a part of our lives—we just always knew He was there, taking care of us, although none of us ever had a major God moment that I’m aware of. Although, at the same time, I have to say that as I grow older, I’m having little God moments very often—if we only stay close enough to God to be aware of it!

This often makes me smile to myself because God knows me so well and knows exactly what I need, when I need it. It’s like a quiet conversation between me and God which is priceless to me.

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There were some events that either helped shape my life or affected me in a more negative way during my early years.

Back when I was about six or seven years old, it was still safe in the old country and I often walked home alone which a lot of kids did at the time. One day I was walking along minding my own business, and the next moment I was lying on the ground, being beaten and kicked by a boy not much older than me.

His friend who was quite a bit older, was standing on the sidelines encouraging the younger boy to beat me up. Nobody came to my rescue and after a while the boys became tired of the entertainment and left.

I had no idea who they were and why I was their target that day. I was a little girl, shaken to the core. Why would they do something like that? I don’t know why, but I never told anyone about this until an energy healer discovered that I was holding on to something a few months ago (about fifty-four years later) and everything came out. She helped me to work through the emotions and to comfort the scared little girl I was back then.

Once again God was using one of His helpers on earth to deal with something that obviously had an impact on me many years ago even though I didn’t realize it.

I don’t know if the boys were used to abuse in their home(s) but I prayed that God would make them realize that it is not acceptable behavior no matter at what stage they were in their lives at the moment.

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The second incident happened when I was eight years old. My five-year-old cousin and I were going to visit my teacher at the time in a three-story apartment block next to where my mom worked.

We were excited to go see Miss Anne but then the elevator suddenly came to a jerking halt and it became very dark. We didn’t know what was going on, but needless to say, we were scared and the elevator was very small—not like the big spacey ones today.

My cousin was so scared that she wet her pants and then really started to cry. Since I was older, I figured I had to try and do something about the situation so I did the only thing I could think of at the time: I screamed and screamed for help.

That lasted for quite a while, but eventually someone heard me and told us that the power went out. They called the fire department to let them know what had happened.

It turned out that we were stuck between two floors and it took two hours for the firefighters to unscrew the doors in order to lift us out of our trap.

For years after that I would not get into an elevator and I believe this incident had a role to play in the claustrophobia I’m still experiencing today.

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Something that definitely affected my faith and my outlook on life was a book I read when I was about fourteen years old.

The author had an out of body experience and had the privilege of getting a glimpse of what we can only dream of—no, scratch that. As Christians we have the promise that we will experience heaven when we make the transition from this earthly life.

She didn’t ask anybody to believe what she wrote, but I did right from the start. Maybe it was just because I wanted to believe it. It gave me such a sense of comfort and hope and it still does. Every so often I just feel the need to read it again and I must have read it ten to twelve times over the years.

The wonder of what the author describes is…heavenly! What she experienced in heaven—her family and friends she met again, and of course, getting to know the Master in person—gives me so much to hold on to in tough times, as does the Bible and regular bible study.

Just having this image in my mind about what we can expect when we die removed my fear of death. I’m ready to go whenever God calls me.

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Acts 2:24 Amplified Bible (AMP)

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24 But God raised Him up, releasing Him and bringing an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in death’s power.

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My brother and sister always had a lot of friends at home, and of course, I got to know most of them—the ones who cared to pay attention anyway. To the rest, I was just a little pest bothering them!

I had a few boyfriends during high school, but nobody I was crazy about really. Until one day I saw my brother’s good friend, Nate, drive by with a girl in the car with him. I was jealous and I had no idea why. I just knew I didn’t like the idea at all. Nate was also in my sister’s class so I knew him very well. I always thought he was like a brother to me. Yeah right!

My sister had her 21st birthday coming up so I decided to ask him to her party, which started our relationship of many years to come.

I was still in school at the time and for my first birthday after we started dating, Nate bought me a gold ring with a garnet, my birthday stone, which I still have today.

Since we were not allowed to wear any jewelry to school, I wore the ring on a chain around my neck under my school uniform, close to my heart.

It was a very hard decision to make up my mind about if I wanted to go to college after school (I was an honor student all throughout high school) or if I wanted to work so that Nate and I could get married sooner.

He was almost six years older than me, and although he wanted to go to college as well, he didn’t have the financial means to do that. I opted to marry for love instead of going to college.

We got married a bit more than a year after I got out of high school and we had a lovely wedding. The photographer even asked me at some point if I could just stop smiling for a few more serious pictures.

I was so happy! Even when I walked into church on my dad’s arm, seeing Nate as white as a sheet, handsome in his navy suit, waiting for me at the front of the church.

I would find out later that he was very worried that I would not show up for our wedding, like Runaway Bride or something. How little he knew me back then!

Only by the grace of God, we are still married 41 years later. This doesn’t mean that we didn’t have any trials and tribulations (believe me, there were plenty!) But our love for each other was and is strong and our faith even stronger.

And the funny thing is that in retrospect, all the afflictions not only challenged us, sometimes to breaking point, but also made our love and our bond stronger. We were seriously building our faith muscles through it all. Each of us, or at times both of us, kept getting in the way of God’s plans for our life.

He would gently push us out of the way and get back to shaping and molding us to match His perfect plan for our lives.

At times the love fluctuated and it felt like I didn’t even like Nate, let alone love him, and I’m sure he felt the same.

But we’ve learned over the years that marriage is pretty much like a roller coaster with all the highs and lows. It takes compromise, give and take, forgiveness, lots of patience, trying to put yourself in the other’s shoes, and of course, prayer.

But if you work together and both have the same desire to make things work, you still can have a long, happily married life, even in this day and age. We are a living testimony of that. Once again, only through God’s Grace.

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For our honeymoon we went to a hotel that was well known for honeymooners. It was right on the beach in a beautiful setting about a four-hour drive from our hometown.

It was an older hotel and it was the first time I’ve experienced what I would get to call the hollow back feeling.

As soon as we walked into the hotel, I involuntarily arched my spine like I was trying to get out of someone’s reach and I had the very uncomfortable feeling that I was being watched. I didn’t say anything to Nate, though. It was our honeymoon, after all, and I didn’t want him to feel bad.

We later had a good laugh when I didn’t secure the handheld shower and with water coming out at full force, the sprayer was flying in all directions like an angry viper, spraying me and the whole bathroom with water dripping down the walls! Fortunately, Nate saved the day when he ran in and turned off the faucet.

The bathroom had glass louver windows and one night as I was getting ready for bed, something caught my attention and I looked towards the window.

All I could see was a pair of eyes framed by the slats of the window, staring back at me! I screamed which brought Nate running in, but by then, the peeping Tom was long gone.

Nate talked to the front desk of the hotel but there was nothing much they could do about it. We left for a different hotel the next morning.

Our first years of marriage were a lot of fun and we did as much together as we possibly could. We also attended a lot of parties, but never got into crazy stuff. I suppose the good and bad was inbred and always there as a reminder. For that I was and still am very thankful.

One weekend we went to a big city on the East coast with four friends just to have some fun. Being from a much smaller town, we wanted to see what the big city was all about and we went to a nightclub.

I was uncomfortable from the moment we set foot in the place. Our friends felt the same and we soon left. I believe things like that is the Spirit telling us that what we’re doing is not what He wants us to be doing. Listen to that still, small voice. He knows what He’s talking about!

We didn’t always go to church as often as we were supposed to. There was always something going on somewhere, but thank God, he would always bring us back eventually. Not that we’d really gone anywhere, we just hadn’t been as close as we should have been.

Over the years I’ve come to realize that God has a way of keeping us on our knees and close to him. The older I get, the more comfort I find in that. He is the only one you can really count on.

Just when you think: Boy, I’m doing great, just look at me go! you fall flat on your face. This has a way of bringing you back on your knees before God again, which is where we belong.

Nate was very active in sports. He played rugby, squash, did windsurfing, ran long distances and had an off-road bike. On top of that, he flew model airplanes and was a photographer as well.

Needless to say, we were always busy with something. I eventually got a bit tired of going places every single night. After about two years of married life, we decided we were ready for a baby, which started a new chapter in our lives.

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My Take Away:

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⚓ From an early age God made sure