Grief As An Epic Poem

By Janeen Peckford

After years of not writing poetry, I took it upon myself to put together a book of prose over the course of a year. Though these poems may seem grim, there is a glimmer of hope between the lines. I am much better than I was when I wrote most of these. Mental health is a slippery slope and I spent much of this year sliding downhill fast, but somewhere along the way, there was a peak that launched me back up again. Though optimism might be lost in these ones, this is how I coped. I hope whoever reads these do not relate at all but if you do, I hope you've found comfort in not being alone. Whether it be trauma, grief, mental illness, heartbreak; you are not the first to experience it and certainly will not be the last.

This work is dedicated to anyone that feels like loneliness is a lifelong, uphill climb. I hope you know deep down that it isn't always going to be like this.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Janeen Peckford
• Release date: Jan 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463562772

Janeen Peckford

I was born in the beautiful province of Newfoundland in September 1994. Though the island owns my heart and soul, it isn't the place for finding work, so we moved to Ontario. I have lived here since, biding my time until I can retire to the sea again.Right now, I am completing an honours B.A. at Trent University in English Literature and Media Studies. Life's many hurdles held me back from continuing my education, but I'm back in action and might even get a Masters... Who knows? Everything is rather unpredictable.I have a little poetry collection available, Grief as an Epic Poem, and there is more to come. Grief as an Epic Poem was a meditation on complicated grief, a compilation of my work on the subject when I was in hibernation.

Book preview

CONTENTS

Black Lipstick

Prosper

Compliance

Guilty Conscience

Fantasies

Growing Up

Loss

Bridges

Memory

Distant

February

Lie With You

The Day I Found My Sense of Smell

False Pocket

Dead

L8R

May

Fire

Notes on A Woman

Edge

Endings

Shampoo

Opposites

Rivals

Epilogue

BLACK LIPSTICK

please compliment my black lipstick. i coloured it on with sharpie.

my mouth is forever noir and you are famous.

how easy must it be to find drugs and companionship?

a successful night must be when you receive both.

but notice, when I kiss your hand,

you can tear it away and it looks the same as it did before.

maybe i am the fortunate one to have something i know that will remain. 

my mother tells me cigarette ash will wash it right off,

but i have not smoked in a long time

and i won’t let her near me with a washcloth.

they will scream for you and you will cry in a dressing room somewhere in europe. 

you will ask the band to play the song that bears my nickname

and you will wonder if i had heard it.

no one told me lips chap and fade.

no one told me new skin grows in its’ place. 

what a cruel fate it is for something permanent

to wither away. 

PROSPER

it is so easy if you can see forward.

rebuild, grow, learn and thrive.

i am not resisting this

and i understand this as truth,

that in order to heal is

to just