Mr. Bambuckle: Rule the School

By Tim Harris

The perfect book for middle school boys and readers of Sideways Stories from Wayside School and My Weird School! Mr. Bambuckle: Rule the School is the perfect gift for preteen boys and chapter book for kids 9-12.

The class in room 12B has a new teacher, one who's a little wacky and knows how to make learning fun! But not everybody agrees with his unique teaching methods...

There's never been a new teacher like Mr. Bambuckle. Who else rides a unicycle while flipping bacon in a pan and wearing a dazzling blue suit? Magic tricks aside, Mr. Bambuckle is kind of the best. He gets to know each and every one of his students, and makes learning exciting and fun!

But Principal Sternblast is not impressed with Mr. Bambuckle's teaching methods, and is determined to get rid of him...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sourcebooks
• Release date: May 7, 2019
• ISBN: 9781492685593

Tim Harris

Tim Harris has been fascinated by bird migration since as a young boy he witnessed Swallows flying in off the sea at Selsey Bill, while terns streamed past and recently arrived warblers sang from scrub. He has since been birding in more than 40 countries and has been inspired over and over again by the sights and sounds of migration on all the world's major migration flyways. Tim was Deputy Editor of Birdwatch magazine between 1992 and 2000. He contributed to National Geographic's Complete Birds of the World, and has written numerous articles and children's books about birds.

Book preview

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1

First Impressions

Mr. Bambuckle’s first day at Blue Valley School was a most remarkable day. The fifteen students of room 12B straggled in after the bell rang to find their new teacher balancing on a unicycle on top of his desk. He was singing in full voice about glorious days and magical ways, and as the students took their seats, he told them it was a rare Mongolian welcome song.

The students looked at him in wonder and delight—and a little trepidation. He was clearly going to be far more exciting than the class’s previous teacher, Miss Schlump, who had fallen in love with a helicopter pilot and moved to Switzerland. In fact, the students would soon find out that Mr. Bambuckle was the sort of teacher they had only ever dreamed of—young, funny, clever, handsome, full of surprises, and in all ways mysterious.

Mr. Bambuckle was dressed in a dazzling blue suit, which sparkled nearly as brightly as his mischievous green eyes. Draped tastefully around his neck was a wool scarf that looked so soft, the students longed to touch it. He had dark hair, and his caramel-colored tan suggested he had spent a great deal of time outdoors. Either that or he was from a distant overseas country. The students couldn’t figure out which, but they could tell they liked him from the get-go.

Hey, new teacher, what’s your name? said Vex Vron, a boy never lacking in confidence but always lacking in manners. Vex had a strong reputation for being a troublemaker, and he wasn’t going to allow good feelings about a new teacher to spoil the fact.

Mr. Bambuckle stepped down from the desk and placed his unicycle in the corner of the room. He flicked his wrists and produced an egg and two slices of bacon, seemingly from midair, and started cooking them in a frying pan, which was apparently self-heating. Sizzles and pops soon filled the air.

You got a name or what? said Vex.

Good morning, Vex Vron. I’m delighted to meet you, said Mr. Bambuckle. His voice was crisp, and it danced with the rhythm of a favorite song.

Vex frowned, his eyes turning as dark as his black hair. What? How did you know my name?

That’s an excellent question, Vex. I can tell we are going to get along splendidly.

Bet you don’t know my middle name.

The class sat forward, eager to hear any insight the new teacher might have.

Mr. Bambuckle flipped a piece of bacon in his pan. I do believe, dear Vex, your middle name is…Wilberforce.

Vex squirmed in his seat, embarrassed his best-kept secret was no longer that. Oh, you do know it.

I know everything, said Mr. Bambuckle.

Vex clenched his jaw. He couldn’t let this intriguing new teacher get the better of him so early in the game. "But what’s your name?"

Mr. Bambuckle walked over to a girl sitting near Vex and shook her hand. "I’m delighted to meet you, Scarlett Geeves. My name is Mr. Bambuckle."

Scarlett smiled.

And just like that, Mr. Bambuckle answered Vex’s question without answering it at all.

I suppose you would like to know a bit about your new teacher, said Mr. Bambuckle. Feel free to ask any questions. Just don’t ask me to show you my Indian spark-maker beetle.

All fifteen students thrust their hands in the air.

Too many questions for politeness, said Mr. Bambuckle. You’ll have to call out.

Where did you get your unicycle?

Lithuania.

How did you learn to sing like that?

My cousin is an Icelandic rock star.

Why are you wearing a blue suit?

It’s rather dashing, don’t you think?

May I please have some bacon?

Be my guest.

May I see your Indian spark-maker beetle?

Uh-uh. It’s far too dangerous.

What kind of name is Bambuckle?

What kind of name is Vex Wilberforce Vron?

The students were in awe. Mr. Bambuckle was easily, by far, without doubt, incomparably, and unquestionably the most interesting teacher they had ever had.

A sharp knock at the classroom door disrupted the good feeling. It was Mr. Sternblast, the school principal, and he was frowning—something the students saw all too often. Bambuckle, I take it you found the classroom.

Mr. Bambuckle swung stylishly around and smiled at Mr. Sternblast. Thank you, dear Mr. Principal, for your kind concern. Indeed, I have. Though I wasn’t expecting the numbering to go 11, 12, 12B, 14.

Mr. Sternblast went red and coughed. "Humph. Yes, well, we can’t have people thinking this room is unlucky. Those incidents were all just…accidents."

Of course, said Mr. Bambuckle. In any case, I think 12B has a rather lovely ring to it.

Mr. Sternblast rubbed his balding head, furrowing his eyebrows farther at the sight of the unicycle in the corner of the classroom. Well, Bambuckle, make it through today and we’ll discuss work for tomorrow. With that, he twitched his moustache and disappeared back outside.

He used to be a lot nicer than that, said Albert Smithers, a small boy with glasses and blond hair who was much cleverer than most children his age.

He used to have a lot more hair too, said Vex. It started falling out when he didn’t get that job at the big school in the city.

He’s always especially angry when he misses out on a job promotion, added Scarlett. Dad says he’s been trying to leave Blue Valley for years. He thinks Mr. Sternblast’s after more money.

He is still the principal, said Mr. Bambuckle. And for that, we shall give him due respect.

Why should we respect him in June? It’s only March, said Harold McHagil, a shy boy who sat near the back of the room.

"He said due respect," said Vex.

Oh, said Harold.

Mr. Bambuckle winked at Harold and opened the top drawer of the desk at the front of the room. He picked up a box and gave it a shake. Something rattled inside.

That box belonged to Miss Schlump, said Scarlett, adjusting the red ribbon in her long dark hair.

Just as I thought, said Mr. Bambuckle, opening the box. "Stickers and stamps. It’s always stickers and stamps."

He emptied the contents of the box onto his desk. He picked up a sheet of stickers and read the first few, then pretended to vomit. "Bleh! These things are always so dull."

What do you mean by dull? asked Victoria Goldenhorn, a blond-haired girl who had received more stickers at Blue Valley School than anyone else.

Mr. Bambuckle peeled a sticker from the sheet and walked over to Victoria’s desk. He opened her workbook and pressed the sticker onto a page. What does it say?

‘Keep it up,’ said Victoria, and there’s a picture of a monkey.

What I mean by dull, explained Mr. Bambuckle, "is that all teachers use the same old methods of positive reinforcement and praise. The ‘keep it up’ monkey sticker is a nice way of telling us nothing."

Vex Vron chuckled. I agree. Stickers and stamps are a waste of time.

Not necessarily a waste of time, said Mr. Bambuckle. Perhaps just misdirected. Show me some of the stickers and stamps in your workbooks.

The fifteen students opened their books and showed Mr. Bambuckle a bunch of stickers and stamps that Miss Schlump had given them. They looked like this:

Did the stickers and stamps encourage you to improve your work? asked Mr. Bambuckle.

Not really, admitted Victoria Goldenhorn. "They were just nice to get. Plus, Miss Schlump handed them out no matter how good or bad our work was. She must have really liked my work though, because I have millions."

Your honesty is your strength, said Mr. Bambuckle. But if the stickers are going to be more than merely a reward for having completed the work, the messages and comments need to be more direct, more honest…less flowery.

So what should the stickers and stamps say instead? asked Vex.

You tell me, said Mr. Bambuckle. "I’ll give you twenty minutes to create some new stickers and stamps. You write the comments and draw the pictures, and I’ll research custom sticker and stamp-making websites while