Bullying in the Churches

By Stephen Finlan

Do bullies have free rein in our churches? Who are the bullies? What is scapegoating? Is it possible to practice the mercy and forgiveness demanded by Gospel ethics while also protecting people from emotional and professional damage?
These are some of the questions that Stephen Finlan seeks to answer, looking for an ethic of behavior that is both spiritually valid and psychologically wise. He seeks responses to bullying that are both "wise" and "harmless" (Matt 10:16), that do not leave people helpless against the cruelty of church bullies. Bullying has become a major concern in schools and workplaces, but the church sometimes lags behind the secular workplace in its ethics.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cascade Books
• Release date: Jun 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9781498270625

Stephen Finlan

Stephen Finlan received his PhD from the University of Durham. He taught religious and biblical studies for thirteen years. He is the author of The Background and Content of Paul’s Cultic Atonement Metaphors (2004); Problems with Atonement (2005); Options on Atonement in Christian Thought (2007); The Family Metaphor in Jesus’ Teaching (2009); and Bullying in the Churches (2015).

Book preview

9781625647221.kindle.jpg

Bullying in the

Churches

Stephen Finlan

10317.png

Bullying in the Churches

Copyright © 2015 Stephen Finlan. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions. Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.

Cascade Books

An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers

199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3

Eugene, OR 97401

www.wipfandstock.com

ISBN 13: 978-1-62564-722-1

EISBN 13: 978-1-4982-7062-5

Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

Finlan, Stephen.

Bullying in the churches / Stephen Finlan.

X + Y p. ; 23 cm. Includes bibliographical references and indexes.

ISBN 13: 978-1-62564-722-1

1. Bullying in churches—Prevention. 2. Conflict management. I. Title.

BF637 .B85 F55 2015

Manufactured in the U.S.A. 02/10/2015

Abbreviations

Col Colossians

1 Cor First Corinthians

2 Cor Second Corinthians

Eph Ephesians

ESV English Standard Version

Gal Galatians

KJV King James Version

Matt Matthew

NASB New American Standard Bible

NCV New Century Version

NEB New English Bible

NRSV New Revised Standard Version

Phil Philippians

Phlm Philemon

Prov Proverbs

Ps Psalm

Pss Psalms

Rom Romans

RSV Revised Standard Version

SBL Society of Biblical Literature

SBLDS Society of Biblical Literature Dissertation Series

Wis Wisdom of Solomon

Introduction

Many of us were inspired to preach the gospel, and we committed our lives to a church, only to find out, upon seeing the inner workings of our church, that it was not based on a healthy foundation. How is it that the place where we go for healing and inspiration has become a center of bullying and power grabbing, at many levels within the organization? How has the place that is supposed to show Jesus’ spirit in action become the home of dishonesty?

Do any of these stories resonate with your experience?

As part of her seminary education, a student is given a supervised ministry assignment in a large inner-city church. She arrives with anticipation and hope. Time passes. The senior pastor does not set up the supervisory committee that is supposed to meet with the student until near the end of the first semester, and the committee’s report is not finished by the seminary’s due date. When the student asks the senior pastor about it, she is told You are not so important; you are just a small piece within this church. The paperwork will get done. The report in the second semester is also not turned in by the deadline, and when the student asks the pastor about it, she is yelled at.

A student finishes his master of divinity degree and gets his first assignment as an assistant pastor. One of his duties is to lead a Bible study. He asks the participants of his Bible study to write some responses to a passage from Isaiah, but the activity is interrupted by the senior pastor, who stops people from writing and announces, They don’t want to write about that; just ask them general questions. When the assistant pastor goes to the pastor a few days later to ask why that was done, the senior pastor says, "These people don’t do biblical analysis. You don’t know what they can do. I know." The pastor then asks to see the assistant pastor’s teaching plan for the Bible study, and tosses out most of what the assistant had planned, insisting that this congregation does not want to analyze what Isaiah said.

A pastor organizes a choir among poor and homeless clients of the church, and they perform a skit with music on Sunday. At the coffee hour following the service, some congregation members make sarcastic comments, even though some of the poor singers are within earshot; one refers sarcastically to the tuneless choir; another responds, "or the toothless choir," and there is some chuckling.

What is wrong with this picture? Why is there bullying and cruelty in the churches? Aren’t we supposed to bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), to be building up the neighbor (Rom 15:2), and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matt 19:19)?¹ Yet, it is likely that everyone who has spent any time in the churches knows that bullying (usually emotional and personal, rather than physical) is quite common in the churches. Wherever there are different levels of power and prestige in a relationship, or where there is competition for power and prestige, there may be bullying—not just on the school yard. It happens in our houses of worship as well.

I intend in this book to look at many aspects of bullying. I will not name names, nor indicate particular denominations, but will draw upon recent experiences people have had in many different Protestant denominations. There are additional and different dynamics in Catholic churches, but someone else needs to write that book.

1. The NRSV is the default translation used.

1 — The Problem and the Response

Biblical Antecedents

Of course, bullying has been around from the beginning. We see it in many Bible stories. Sometimes the reasons for the bullying are given. Joseph’s brothers hated him because he was their father’s favorite, and when he told them his dream, they hated him even more (Gen 37:3–5). They thought him arrogant, this dreamer. Conspiring to kill him, they took him and threw him into a pit, but then settled on merely selling him into slavery (Gen 37:18–19, 24–27). The story of Joseph’s eventual forgiveness of his brothers (Gen 45:4–24) is one of the most remarkable stories of reconciliation in world literature.

Pharaoh’s oppressing of the Israelites was a kind of bullying, even though it happened at the level of the state and was enacted upon a whole community. He oppress[ed] them with forced labor . . . and made their lives bitter with hard service (Exod 1:11, 14). He felt threatened by their physical vigor and fertility. Nor are the later Jewish kings free of political bullying. King Jehoiakim had Uriah—who prophesied against this city—murdered (Jer 26:20–23).

We know that Jesus was bullied, as well. The Roman cohort stripped Jesus, crowned him with thorns, mocked him by saying Hail! King of the Jews!, spat on him, and struck him (Matt 27:28–30). But the religious leaders’ attacks on Jesus were just as bad. Besides instigating the case against Jesus in the first place, the chief priests and scribes mocked Jesus on the cross, saying he saved others; he cannot save himself; they joined the Romans and the thieves in taunting him (Matt 27:41–44; Mark 15:31–32). Whence comes this arrogance and cruelty of secular and religious authorities?

Such cruelty is all too common. The Epistle to the Hebrews speaks of the enlightened . . . being publicly exposed to abuse and persecution . . . suffered mocking and flogging (Heb 10:32–33; 11:36). Paul expects apostles to be treated like the dregs of society, made a spectacle to the world . . . beaten . . . like the rubbish of the world, the dregs of all things (1 Cor 4:9, 11, 13). Will new ideas always meet such vicious opposition?

And does this abuse have to happen within the church, as well? No. We need to watch out for it, in order to prevent it. We need a behavioral ethic that works proactively against abusive behavior. We need to take the love mandate as seriously as Paul did: Through love become slaves to one another (Gal 5:13). This is an intense commitment, but a necessary one. Without love, we are nothing more than a social club. But if we start practicing the difficult but transformative ethics of Jesus, the church becomes a force for the only kind of social change that is deep and long-lasting—change that is based upon transformed individuals.

Instead, we see behaviors that look like the same old same old, and make us wonder if the church has made any difference in people’s lives. Love is the litmus test that shows whether we are serious about our faith: We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death (1 John 3:14). Do we really hold ourselves up to this standard? Or do we have selfish cliques, corrupt leaders, or power bases organized to prevent certain kinds of change? Can our self-image as a loving people stand up to thoughtful examination? How honest are we with ourselves?

The Worldly Church

We should not really be shocked or surprised to encounter sinful behavior in church. The churches reflect the world, and this world is made up of flawed people who create enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels . . . factions, envy, and more (Gal 5:20–21). The way of the world infects the church, eroding the foundations that Jesus established. People who are tenderhearted but unskilled at political infighting sometimes get swept out of the church. This turns out to be nothing new. The Apostle Paul, with some sarcasm, warns against ill will in the church: If you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another (Gal 5:15).

Even people who have good intentions for the welfare of the church can become very competitive and jealous when they think someone is intruding on their particular mission. Longtime church volunteers tend to develop a strong sense of ownership of the church or a particular aspect of it in which they have long been involved. Experienced volunteers can become very prickly about intrusions on their territory. Even if the conflict that ensues stops short of biting and devouring, it can easily lead to anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions (Gal 5:20).

Despite our religious rhetoric, we are sensitive human beings who can get our feelings hurt if we feel we are being disrespected. Also,