Chaya's Angels: A Spiritual Journey with Down Syndrome
By Elaine Feuer
()
About this ebook
When Chaya Ben Baruch gave birth to her sixth child, a son with Down syndrome, she led her family on a spiritual journey, moving from Alaska to Israel, and adopting more children with special needs, on the way. Whether she’s watching her son with Downs marry her adopted daughter with Downs, or fighting for the rights of all special needs children, life is never dull. Chaya even managed to find time to donate a kidney, leaving everyone to wonder, “What’s next?” There are few people who have Chaya’s combination of character traits: brilliance; bravery; altruism; honesty; and her ability to love, whether it's her own family or other people’s children. It is our aspiration for the reader to appreciate the uniqueness and joy that Chaya and her husband, Yisroel, have experienced as parents of children with Downs, and to open the hearts of people, across the globe. Ghandi wrote: “A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest.” Join Chaya and her family on their enchanting odyssey. The world needs this heart-rending story, more than ever!
Ariella Bracha Waldinger's Review: Every pregnant woman fears the possibility of birthing a child with special needs, but Chaya Ben Baruch, in her spiritually uplifting book, Chaya’s Angels: A Spiritual Journey with Downs Syndrome, teaches the reader the true beauty of raising these special souls. Chaya’s book allows the stereotypical belief of Downs babies to crumble: she removes all the negative labels attached to them; depicting their true beauty and inner light. Chaya takes the reader on an epic journey into the personal lives of she and her husband, as they dive into the unchartered waters of raising multiple Down syndrome babies. Gifted with an overflowing love and a passion to meets the needs of these babies, Chaya and her husband love these children unconditionally. They band together, through love and devotion, to give these children exactly what they need to thrive. As a result of reading Chaya’s book, I learned key information and extensive details about the demands of parenting special needs children. I also learned the rich rewards bestowed upon the brave of heart, who dare to embrace this difficult task. Anyone who has an interest in reading an amazing story of inspiration, or is curious about what it takes to raise babies and children with Down syndrome, will benefit from reading Chaya’s Angels. This book is a powerful contribution to children and adults with special needs, giving the reader a deeper understanding of the joys and rewards of life with these remarkable individuals.
Shira Yehudit’s Review: “Chaya’s Angels is an honest, no-holds-barred account of the life of an incredible woman, who has devoted her life to rescuing and caring for special needs children – not in some cold, clinical, institution, but in her home, and in her heart. Chaya makes no bones about sharing the trials and tribulations, the hardships and heartache of caring for and bringing up these special children – and sometimes losing them. But most of all, “Chaya’s Angels” shows us, in a vivid, personal language that speaks from the heart, the joy of having a special needs child in our lives, as part of our family. Chaya lets us feel the pure love that these children radiate to those around them, and helps us to understand that these children really are just that - special. And if this book does nothing more than persuade just one family to think twice about giving away their newborn special needs baby - for that, it was worth writing. But “Chaya’s Angels” is a very powerful, moving book, and I believe it will do much, much more than that...”
Elaine Feuer
Elaine Feuer is the CEO of Blue Danube Publishing. Her new book, Chaya's Angels, A Spiritual Journey with Down Syndrome, is an heart-rending memoir: When Chaya Ben Baruch gave birth to her sixth child, a son with Down syndrome, she led her family on a spiritual journey, moving from Alaska to Israel, and adopting more children with special needs, on the way. Whether she’s watching her son with Downs marry her adopted daughter with Downs, or fighting for the rights of all special needs children, life is never dull. Chaya even managed to find time to donate a kidney, leaving everyone to wonder, “What’s next?” Ghandi wrote: “A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest.” Join Chaya and her family on their enchanting odyssey. The world needs this poignant story, more than ever! Her new memoir, Traveling In and Out of Heaven, is the story of her brother, Allan Feuer’s, five-month battle against esophageal cancer, and his daughter’s treacherous betrayal. She is the author of To Gently Leave This Life: The Right To Die, which explores the right-to-die movement and the human tragedies, such as Karen Quinlan’s difficult death, that precipitated assisted dying legislation in several states in the U.S., and in several countries in Europe, Canada, and South Africa. Patients living in these states and countries have the option of choosing assisted death if their suffering becomes unbearable. Elaine also wrote the critically acclaimed exposé, Innocent Casualties: The FDA’s War Against Humanity – which is now available in its fourth edition as an eBook: Irene Alleger, editor for Townsend Letter for Doctors & Patients wrote: “Innocent Casualties manages to make the blood boil in righteous anger, because it makes the FDA’s abuse of power so personal... Ms. Feuer takes the reader step-by-step through the nonsensical tactics, deceit, and police mentality.” Blue Danube recently published an enthralling new memoir, The Last Waltz: Love, Death & Betrayal by Professor Sean Davison. In 2006, Sean cared for his terminally ill mother, Pat Ferguson (a psychiatrist), during the final three months of her life. The Last Waltz is a true story about the extraordinary love between a mother and son, and how their informed decisions lead to unforeseen consequences: A sister betrays her brother; a son is charged with murder; Archbishop Desmond Tutu requests bail, igniting a public debate about voluntary euthanasia and the right-to- die in South Africa, New Zealand, and in countries across the globe. Elaine has worked in the medical division of Little, Brown & Company and freelanced as a research and development coordinator for a variety of film and television projects, including the critically acclaimed films, Imagine: John Lennon; 25 x 5: The Continuing Adventure of the Rolling Stones; Elvis: The Great Performances; Learned Pigs & Fireproof Women. Elaine obtained history and criminology degrees – “Graduating With Distinction” – from the University of Toronto; received “Academic Excellence in Editing” from the University of Massachusetts, Boston; and was an “Ontario Scholar.”
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Chaya's Angels - Elaine Feuer
CHAYA’S ANGELS
A Spiritual Journey with Down Syndrome
img1.jpgCHAYA BEN BARUCH
ELAINE FEUER
img2.jpgAuthor’s Note & Copyright
Chaya’s Angels: A Spiritual Journey with Down Syndrome, is Chaya Ben Baruch’s memoir of events that have occurred in her life. As such, the authors and publisher disclaim responsibility based on the opinions contained herein.
All Rights Reserved
Copyright (c) 2018 Blue Danube Publishing
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher.
ISBN # 978-0-9634791-6-7 (ePub)
ISBN # 978-0-9634791-9-8 (Mobi)
ISBN # 978-0-9634791-3-6 (pdf)
ISBN # 978-0-9634791-0-5 (paperback)
Blue Danube Publishing
Printed in the United States of America
Designed by eB Format
First Printing
To order additional books, or to contact the author or publisher, go to
www.elainefeuer.com
elaine@elainefeuer.com
Contents
Author’s Note & Copyright
About the Authors
Acknowledgements
Dedication
Publisher’s Note: The X Factor
Prologue
Early Life
Avichi
Intelligence
My Relationship with G-d
Search for Spirituality
Making Aliyah: Our Journey to Israel
Orthodox Judaism & Children with Special Needs
Shalhevet
Ori – Part 1
Ori – Part 2
Nechamie
Avichi & Kirin: The Wedding
Ari
Daniel Ben Baruch: Brother to Siblings with Down Syndrome
Elaine Feuer Talks to Daniel Ben Baruch
Yaeli: Twenty-One Days of Bliss
Hindsight is Bliss
Donating My Kidney
Parenting a Child with Special Needs
Epilogue
Photos
Appendix
Books, Articles & Websites
Alone in the Water
Blue Danube Publishing
About the Authors
When Chaya Ben Baruch gave birth to her sixth child, a son with Down syndrome, she led her family on a spiritual journey, moving from Alaska to Israel, and adopting more children with special needs, on the way. Whether she’s watching her son with Downs marry her adopted daughter with Downs, or fighting for the rights of all special needs children, life is never dull. Chaya even managed to find time to donate a kidney, leaving everyone to wonder, What’s next?
Ghandi wrote: A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest.
Join Chaya and her family on their enchanting odyssey. The world needs this heart-rending story, more than ever!
**********
Elaine Feuer is the CEO of Blue Danube Publishing. She has written and published:
Traveling In and Out of Heaven
To Gently Leave This Life: The Right To Die (with 2018 Updates)
The Last Waltz: Love, Death & Betrayal by Professor Sean Davison; Elaine Feuer
Innocent Casualties: The FDA’s War Against Humanity
Please go to the back of the book for more information about Elaine and Blue Danube Publishing.
***Please note that G-d is written without the o
– throughout this book – as it is considered to be a sign of respect.
Acknowledgments
I want to thank Elaine Feuer and Blue Danube Publishing, as the midwife of this book. It could not have come into the world without you. More important, if we can influence one person to look more positively at their child, who may be differently-abled, we will have changed the world. There are friends and family who definitely helped along the way: Judi Klien, Shayna Elka Faulk, Ariella Bracha Waldinger, Chana Levi, Chenya Algazi, Miri Newcome. I also must thank my partner in all this, Yisroel Avraham Ben Baruch.
Chaya Ben Baruch
**********
It’s been a labor of love, working with Chaya on her candid, endearing, and consequential memoir. As I became acquainted with her children experiencing Down syndrome – I acquired an awareness, appreciation, and love – for Chaya’s kids and for all individuals with special needs. In the Talmud, there’s an observation that is befitting the Ben Baruch’s: Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.
Elaine Feuer
Dedication
I want to dedicate this book to my children: biological, adopted & foster cared.
Love Always,
Mom
To my sister, Rivka Yarvachty (Shelly Feuer), who introduced me to Chaya and the genesis of this book.
With Love,
Elaine
Publisher’s Note: The X Factor
A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members.
Mahatma Gandhi
I first heard about Chaya Ben Baruch from my sister, Rivka Yarvachty (Shelly Feuer), who met Chaya at an adult study class in Tzfat, Israel. Rivka suggested that I watch a poignant wedding video of Chaya’s son and adopted daughter, who also happen to have Down syndrome. Then I listened to a podcast about Chaya’s life, which includes raising several children with special needs, and even donating a kidney. I contacted Chaya via email, and when she sent photos of her children with Downs, I was overwhelmed by the intrinsic happiness and inner beauty of each child.
After Chaya gave birth to her sixth child, Avichi, in 1991, she began bonding with him, before learning he had Down syndrome. While it’s often true that most parents experience emotional turmoil when a special needs child is born, once they start to parent their baby, these children engender a humanity that could only happen because of these children. Chaya:
If people knew how really great these kids are: how funny, loving, unpretentious, and savvy about reading others – but needing protection from people who might want to take advantage – parents would think twice about aborting or giving them up for adoption. So many women who birthed babies with Downs, were given ultimatums. I know women who were told by their husband: ‘It’s either me or that baby.’ Would it have been better to have aborted these babies, or kept them and ruin their marriage, or their other children's lives? Not that I personally think a special needs child destroys marriages or the lives of the siblings.
Concerned about raising children with Down syndrome in the remote woods of Alaska, combined with their search for spirituality, Chaya and her family relocated to Israel. When they first arrived, people would cross the street to avoid eye contact with Chaya’s children who experience Downs. Now, the reverse is happening: people will cross the street, just to say hello. Chaya and her husband, Yisroel, have raised five children with Downs, saving abandoned babies from life in a hospital or institution. Studies prove that physically healthy newborns, fed and bathed, but without any nurturing, die. (See Appendix.) Chaya also launched an organization that keeps a list of families, who are committed to fostering babies with special needs, whenever a newborn is left at a hospital by its parents. Chaya’s altruistic donation of a kidney, to save the life of a stranger, was another test she had to do, for herself.
I try to understand life through logic and reasoning, but I am also a spiritually-based person and use my intuitive side, as well. One plus one does not always add up to two. There is an X-Factor.
There are few people who have Chaya’s combination of character traits: brilliance; bravery; altruism; honesty; and her ability to love, whether it's her own family or other people’s children. It is our aspiration for the reader to appreciate the uniqueness and joy that Chaya and her husband, Yisroel, have experienced as parents of children with Downs, and to open the hearts of people, across the globe.
Elaine Feuer
October 2018
img3.jpgContact Elaine: efic29@gmail.com
Blue Danube Website: www.elainefeuer.com
Prologue
When my son, Avichi, and my adopted daughter, Kirin, informed me that they would be getting married, Avichi put his MP3 in my ears, with Yaakov Shwekey’s song: Boee Beshalom.
He told me:
This is the song to play when I put the veil on Kirin.
He said that they would practice the wedding ceremony. When I heard this beautiful, appropriate song, I started crying, since it’s a very emotional song. Avichi then told me, that if I am going to cry like that, forget about using make-up at his wedding.
I chose not to wait any longer and to marry them, with an OK that they could continue to go to school and work as a married couple. I knew I was being a maverick, pushing the school to places they were not ready to go. I had actually brought my camera when I visited for Shalhevet's birthday, and on the transport bus, I snapped a picture of a couple with Downs, kissing each other on the cheek, in the back of the bus. I showed the principal and assistant principal the picture, explaining that I was not threatening anyone; but if they continued to ignore that young people with special needs desire love, friendship, and intimate physical contact, they were missing it. They told me they were aware of these needs. But in the ultra-orthodox world, the young men and women are placed in segregated group homes. If Shlomo is developing a more intimate relationship with Leah, the couple still live in separate homes.
Avichi, as a young teenager, could verbalize: I like girls, Mom. I don’t like guys.
He was referring to intimacy. Had my son told me he preferred men, I hope I would have enabled him to share his life with some young man, whom I would have loved like a son, as well.
The school asked us to keep the wedding small, since there would be many friends with special needs present, and to hold off until July, when the students would be on summer vacation, so they would be distracted and less jealous. Having a small wedding was fine with me. We were the parents of both sides, so we always knew what the other side was up to, but we were paying for it all, as well. Kirin was on the shy side, so she was fine with a small wedding, but Avichi, who could run for mayor, was going up to all his friends and acquaintances asking:
"Are you coming to my wedding?
Are you bringing your grandmother?
Are you bringing all seven of your kids?
People who had given birth to brand new babies with Downs wanted to come, just for the ceremony. We could not say no.
I had to have pre-planned seating, so the friends with special needs had a teacher or assistant at the table, who could interpret for the waiters. We invited people in wheelchairs, so I needed them placed close to the chuppah – which is a canopy, under which a Jewish couple stand – during their wedding ceremony. Everything I ran through my head at night, to see what needed to be