Children Are Not Paper Dolls: A Visit with Bereaved Siblings: Bereavement and Children

By Erin Linn

I hope this book will help other children understand that they are not alone in their feelings of grief, and that grieving is a normal and necessary process. Although this book is directed mainly to sibling bereavement, these feelings are common for any loss of an important person in the child's life. Parents are encouraged to read this book together with their children to strengthen communications about feelings of grief within the bereaved family. By sharing the experiences in the book, we can all come a little closer to the real child…the child that feels…the child that hurts. Children are not paper dolls!

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Publishers Mark
• Release date: Jan 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9781735000008

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

I have been a bereaved parent since 1974, and have worked with bereaved families for many years through The Compassionate Friends Organization. During this period of time, I developed a growing curiosity about the impact of grief as it relates to the child at home, in school, and at play. I wanted to know what the children, themselves, feel . . . not what adults say children feel. The pictures and quotes in this book are spontaneous expressions of genuine feelings shared with me by six bereaved siblings in a series of group meetings. Many feelings of bereaved siblings are the same as bereaved parents’, but some are unique to the child’s world.

Children do have emotions and their grief must be acknowledged with the same amount of energy and concern shown adults. When an emotional crisis occurs in a child’s life, how often we will hear someone say, The children are young and flexible . . . they will bounce back.

It is the nature of grief that at a time when all of the strings should pull together, they seem to twist and turn in opposing directions leaving spouses unable to help each other and parents unable to help their children. Children see their parents, often their pillar of strength, seem to crumble before their eyes. They are often excluded from their parent’s grieving by mothers and fathers who think they are sheltering their children. As a result, the child’s imagination is left to run on a wild and destructive course. They are forced to rely on peers, who in most cases are ill-equipped to meet their emotional needs. Doctors, teachers, and relatives who are not familiar with the grief process can cause further harm to bereaved siblings by being insensitive and misinformed.

I hope