Ninja Farts: The Disgusting Adventures of Milo Snotrocket

By J. B. O'Neil

Ready to laugh your butt off? Get ready to be blown-away by the outrageous adventures of Milo Snotrocket!

His name is Milo Snotrocket and he has the same problems any kid has. School is boring, he has a bully, and sometimes he farts. Well, more than sometimes. What nobody else knows about this special kid is that he’s more than just your average everyday child, he’s also a Fart Ninja—taking on bullies and all evildoers with the amazing power of his horrible farts!

Warning: This book has farts. Lots of them. And if you focus on farting as much as the people in this book, you might want to check your pants when you’re done!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sky Pony
• Release date: Oct 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781510724372

J. B. O'Neil

J.B. O'Neil lives out in the sticks of Northern Illinois with his wife Patty, 2 kiddos, 7 chickens, and a little white pooch named Grommit. He wrote "The Fart Book" and "The Booger Book" together with his 8 year-old son named Joe, who laughs really hard at all of this gross-out humor ;O)

Book preview

A CRAZY, STINKY DREAM …

Oh no! There are so many enemy ninjas chasing me. I started jumping from tree to tree, leaping so fast that the forest turned into a green blur. I need to think of something fast! I am a ninja, what do ninjas do in this situation?

They remember their teachings.

My master always told me the way of the ninja is to be as sneaky as possible, but when that doesn’t work, create a fart cloud so smelly and thick that nobody could possibly follow you. So that’s what I did. As I ran, I focused all of my energy into making the stinkiest, smelliest, most eye-watering nose-burning butt rocket I could. I flew forward on my green fart jet leaving the other ninjas gagging. I could hear them coughing and yelling to each other—BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

WHY I HATE MY ALARM CLOCK

Ugh, stupid alarm clock. That was the best dream I’d ever had.

Milo! Milo! My mom called up the stairs. Milo!

She was making sure I was awake. Isn’t that what alarms are for?

I’m awake! I yelled back.

My room smelled terrible. I must have been sleep farting again. I guess if you fart in your dreams, you fart in real life. I got out of bed and got dressed for school. Mom would be mad if I was late again. The problem was that my stomach was making some gurgly noises. I guess I didn’t quite get all the farts out in my dream. I farted so loud and powerfully that I flew down the stairs.

I BLAME MY MOM

Oh man, that was fun coming down the stairs at warp speed! I wondered if I could apply to the International Space Program to be the first boy launched into space by fart fuel? Hmm … I barely had time to think these thoughts because it only took a nanosecond to reach the bottom.

Oof. I landed on something soft. Something soft and … smelly! I must have hit my head on the way down because I was sure I’d have noticed letting out a fart that smelled that bad. Then the soft floor beneath me started to move, and I realized I’d landed on my dog, Pooter. The force of my fart-propelled body landing on his tummy had forced a huge dog fart out, and boy did it smell bad. I’d have been proud of that one!

My mom looked super-crabby as I sat down for breakfast.

Milo, you know how I feel about farting, she said. Farting is gross and rude, and you should stop doing it.

My mom doesn’t understand.

"Mom, I can’t just stop farting. I have to fart. It’s who I am." She’s a mom; it’s not her fault that she doesn’t get it. I sat down at the table and waited for breakfast. She brought me a plate full of eggs and beans. My mom really doesn’t get it.

THE BULLY ON THE BUS

I ate my breakfast and went outside to wait for the

Reviews for Ninja Farts

[Francis Maz Mikhail Rizq · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This Was About A Boy Sitting On A Girl In Page 94 And A Person Has Be Flat Or Killed And Blamed His Mom And This Was Very Rude I Am Goong To Sell It Tomorrow 10 April 2020 And This IS THE WORST BOOK EVER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFEEE

[Emmanuel Aregay · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was so smelly that it was actually so good. The farts were so funny it made me fart too. I play Pokémon go everyday!