Too Good To Be True?

By Casandra Charles

Some say it’s better to have loved and lost than not to love at all? But when love can cost you your peace of mind, you wonder if it is all worth it in the end. Just as Jamie Reynolds, aka JR, feels as if life is as perfect as it can be—new home, good friends, good job, amazing man, and money in the bank—she comes to notice it is just Too Good To Be True as one by one she unravels the truths behind this so-called Perfect Life.

No one saw it coming, including JR. She knows no relationship is perfect as she struggles to keep herself together and slowly realizes it’s all full of lies, and it’s becoming a battle she may not be able to win as she gets hit with unexpected twist after twist that will turn her world upside down.

Love, or the lack of it, can make people do stupid things, as JR tries to mentally, physically and emotionally prepare for this phase in her life, but the aftermath of her new reality may drive her back to an old fling just to feel loved again. But is this what JR truly wants and needs right now in her life?

Watch as JR stumbles to find inner peace after losing it all, which can turn any strong, sane woman crazy as she battles with stress and self-hate all because it was just Too Good To Be True.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Casandra Charles
• Release date: Nov 30, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370578023

Casandra Charles

Originally from Brooklyn, New York, with parents from Trinidad and Tobago, Casandra graduated college with a BA degree in Mass Media Arts at Morris Brown College in Atlanta, GA, where she resided for many years and now has her master’s degree in Adult Education.Casandra is an avid reader and always wanted to write a book but hesitated for many years, as she suffers from adult dyslexia. She never allowed her disability to hold her back on anything, and she finally completed her first book, Jamie Reynolds Chronicles: Lust and Lies, in 2015, Secrets Revealed in 2016, Pillow Talk and Too Good To Be True in 2018, Tinder, Love and Care in 2020, Thank You, Next in 2021 and Joy Ride in 2022.​Casandra loves to travel and explore and has a bucket list of places to visit a mile long as she slowly begins to check off a new destination every few months. She lives by many mottos, but her favorite one is “Live Laugh Love,” which is also tattooed on her left arm to remind her every day to Live today, Laugh often and Love always.

Book preview

Dedication

This book is dedicated to everyone who made God laugh by following their own plans, then found themselves on a totally different path than what they were destined to have.

Never shortchange yourself and settle for anything less than what you need and want in your life…

Trust Your Gut.

Trust Your Gut…

Hey, babe, babe. I was awoken by Mike tapping me on my shoulder as I pretended to be asleep because I knew just what he was waking me up for.

Yeah.

Can we talk?

What’s up?

Well, I need to make my decision in a few hours, so I wanted to talk things through with you.

Babe, look, trust your gut. It’s an amazing opportunity, and I think you should totally take it.

Well, that’s easy for you to say. You know I want you to come with me.

I don’t think you should make this decision based on me coming or not.

Look, Mike said, cutting me off. I know myself, and I just can’t do a long-distance thing.

I know it may be hard, but let’s give it a try first. I knew Mike struggled with distance, as he’d once told me about his ex in college, but we were adults now, so he couldn’t seriously be comparing me to an old college crush.

Mike leaned over and gave me a big kiss, pulling me out of my daze.

What was that for?

Because you are amazing.

And before I knew it, Mike and I were having morning sex. Which almost never happened. Mainly because we both wake up right on time to get ready for work with no wiggle room for anything else. It’d been over a year, and to be honest, as much as I would love to set an alarm to wake us up early at least once or twice a week for some morning love, Mike just wasn’t having it.

Our sex life was almost nonexistent, and I never had a problem before in this department, but Mike was different. I didn’t know if it was me or him. I tried a few times to talk to him as well as spice it up a little, but he wasn’t having it, and we always ended up arguing. There was only so much a woman could take before giving up and throwing in the towel. So I’d learned to just do nothing until Mike was ready; I guess it was harder for a man than it was for a woman. Or at least for me, I was wet pretty fast and never had a problem in the past with me getting or staying wet. Mike said he never had a problem staying hard, so I didn’t know if it was me or what. So for him to make a move to make love on a Wednesday morning, I was down for it. But needless to say, it was short-lived, and after three minutes, he lost his erection and blamed it on running late for work. I just smiled (as I often did) and asked for a kiss and hug.

I Believe in Us and I Love You…

A few days had gone by and my mind was all over the place while I was at work, trying to make sense of this all. Not to mention the drive home was extra long, and I knew Mike was working late, so I had the house to myself to reflect and get my mind right.

Long distance wasn’t that bad, but we didn’t even try. We were just quick to say it wouldn’t work, I thought to myself.

Ring, ring.

Hey, girl.

Hey, what’s up?

Nothing much, just stuck in traffic and trying to wrap my mind around life.

Not life, girl, what’s up? Angela said, laughing.

So Mike got the job in New Mexico.

Wow, that’s big, Angela interrupted. So now what?

That’s the thing I’m trying to wrap my head around. Now what?

What is Mike saying?

Well, naturally he’s asking me to go with him.

Girl, without no ring? Angela said with a laugh, but I couldn’t even be mad because this was a concern. Who picked up their life and moved for a guy with no ring or real commitment attached to the move?

Tell me about it. This is the issue, I said, probably reading Angela’s mind because she didn’t need to say anything; the sarcastic laugh said it all.

As Angela and I spoke for almost an hour as I drove home, things were at least making some sense, even though I didn’t have a clear direction on my next move. Did I really want to do a long-distance thing? Did I trust Mike or myself enough?

A million things went through my mind, and I was over it. I spent the whole day overthinking it all.

Just as the thought ran across my mind, I was putting laundry away and found a folded piece of paper in Mike’s sock drawer. The nosey in me opened it with plans to read it and put it back without Mike knowing, but I almost passed out as I read it. Mike had written a pros and cons list. I guess he’d taken my advice, because with many big decisions in my life, I had started writing pros and cons lists. This was one of the many things I learned from my time with Jenny, my therapist.

Pros: making more money, growth with a stable company, new city, warmer weather, etc., etc.

Cons: I’ll miss my best friend, J doesn’t want to go, and I would hate moving forward without J.

I guess this must have been a sign or just a way to confuse me some more. I often battled with my thoughts during times like this, but you only live once, I thought to myself even though my gut told me not to rush things, but Mike was a good guy.

Ring, ring.

Hey, babe, so I wanted to talk to you. Is now a good time?

Hey, what’s up? Mike said, probably super confused, as I never called him at work because he was usually busy and actually hated talking real conversations at work, but today I just needed him to listen, as I had plans to do most of the talking, and it couldn’t wait until he got home. Mainly because my indecisive ass would have probably changed my mind two or three times between now and the time he got home.

So I first want to thank you for everything you have done in my life. I don’t know if I say this often.

Aww, babe, you don’t have to thank me.

So I was putting away your clothes, and do you know what I found in the drawer? I continued speaking without even allowing him to reply as I held the folded-up paper in my hand as if Mike could see it or me. I have to say, I opened it and read it.

Well, babe, are you upset? Mike asked, sounding concerned.

Upset?

Yeah, are you? Mike asked, sounding even more concerned and now confused.

Babe, how can I be upset?

Mike didn’t say much, and I got a little choked up on my next statement, so I just asked, Do you still want me to move with you?

Of course I do, babe. I wrote that note in confidence, and maybe it was fate you found it and read it, but it’s the truth. I see a future with you, J. I believe in us and I love you. I can’t imagine this journey without you.

The rest of the conversation was all a blur as I did it, I made a move. Man, I wished Jenny were still around because I so needed her help, but I made a decision and I was actually happy about it.

The next day I went to work and sadly put in my four-week noticed. Of course, my director, Yvonne, was not happy. She was trying to slap some sense into me and told me she didn’t think it was a good idea. I loved my career, but it was kind of too late. I had already told Mike, Angela and my mom, so how would it look to pull out of it now? Especially because of her point of view.

She shared her own story of her regrets in life, when she moved for a guy when she was younger and it didn’t work out. She ended up finding herself broke, alone and with a child in a new city away from her family and friends.

As much as I respected Yvonne and had heard her story before, it went in one ear and out the other. Yvonne had had her daughter at twenty-two, and I was over thirty, so we didn’t even share the same mindset when she moved. She also didn’t have a degree, and I had just finished my master’s. Yes, she’d moved to another state to follow a man she loved, and in the end he broke up with her because he felt like she didn’t contribute to his life. I was not in the same situation. Hell, I knew my value in Mike’s life. He wouldn’t even have this job if it weren’t for me. So thanks, Yvonne, I’m good, I thought as I nodded to her as she continued to warn me why moving wasn’t a good idea.

Who Am I to Judge?

I had five weeks to move, so naturally I went to town and did what I did best—plan. Over the next two weeks I made all the necessary moves for the move. I listed my townhome for rent, got quotes from moving companies, and convinced Mike to sell his car, which made sense especially since he had a car note and my car was already paid off. We also listed a bunch of stuff on Craigslist, trying to take as little as possible, mainly because I hated taking old furniture into new spaces, and it could help cut down on the moving expenses.

I was on a mission, and every day after work I came home with more and more boxes. I was starting to get a little overwhelmed and frustrated by Mike’s lack of support in this move.

Hey, J, Mike yelled from upstairs as he heard me walk through the door, struggling to carry in more boxes. I’m not going to lie, I always made my presence known when I got home and needed help, hoping he would catch on and come help.

Hey, can you help me? I have some more moving boxes in the car, I ended up saying since Mike did not get the hint by all the noise I was making coming through the door.

Man, these are a lot of boxes. You sure we’ll need them all?

Babe, we’ll need three times more. This is really just enough for the kitchen and maybe the bathrooms. The last set of boxes we boxed up was our winter clothes and other household items.

I still don’t know why we need winter coats. It’s Albuquerque.

Yes, babe, the weather in ABQ is crazy. I hear it can be all four seasons in one day.

What?

Yes, they say it can rain in the morning, be sunny by noon, then be crazy windy at sunset, and then snow overnight… Get it, all four seasons in one day?

Where are you getting this information from? Who is they?

Google is my friend, I said, laughing.

We were halfway done off-loading the boxes, and then Mike blurted out the stupidest statement: So, J, have you started looking for work?

Well, thanks for asking, I said sarcastically, as it’d been over two weeks and I’d been busting my ass on this move, and Mike never once asked me about work or what my plans were during this transition.

You’re welcome, Mike said, trying to be cute; then less than a minute later, he asked again, No, seriously, have you been looking for work?

Really? Of course I’ve been looking for work. I’ve been putting out applications left and right. I see a lot of production work, but I really want to explore my new field of work.

Well, I hear the University of New Mexico has a mass media department. Maybe you can get work there?

Well, I’ve spoken to a few professors at Clark, and I already had my foot in the door at Clark, so now just trying to be a professor isn’t as easy as applying, especially since I have no real classroom experience. Also, I don’t think I want to be a teacher like that, but don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. This was the fastest way to end a conversation with Mike. I swear he was so unsupportive or just clueless sometimes and often looked at me like superwoman, so, Yes, I’ll figure it out… that was what I did best.

As I walked away, leaving Mike in the living room surrounded by boxes, I just headed upstairs to take a hot shower and really clear my mind.

My shower time was my escape sometimes, and Mike knew this, so he never interrupted, which was probably why I stayed in so long.

Hey, babe, nice long shower? Mike said, referring to my long forty-minute shower, which often meant I was just standing in the hot water, allowing it to hit my body as I just processed it all.

Yeah, you know I love a good ole hot shower. It also helps me to think and process things. Why, after over a year of dating, did I even have to explain this to him? He was so clueless sometimes.

So, babe, I know you have a lot going on, and I truly thank you for making this journey with me. I will not leave your side during this transition. I got your back, babe. You know this, right?

I just walked over and hugged Mike. I truly loved him, and maybe he knew what my long shower was all about. As I often told him, actions speak louder than words, so it was never what he actually said but his actions that I paid more attention to in the end.

Just when I thought Mike was clueless, he finally got it. I hoped…

I’m Good, Just a Little Nervous…

Leaving Atlanta was bittersweet, and seeing all my friends the night before we hit the road was a true reality check. I was glad to see everyone one last time and to have their support. I truly felt like I was making the right decision; even my director came and wished me well. I still hadn’t found a job, but I knew myself, so once I got settled, I’d be okay.

I also had the income coming in from my townhouse, which wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. And even though I didn’t want to rent to Section 8, Mike said it was guaranteed money every month, and even though it was guaranteed money, I’d heard horror stories about Section 8 renters, but I needed to stay positive because since I did the HARP refinance, my mortgage was still really low, so I’d be able to pocket five hundred dollars per month, which could be very helpful to cover food and maybe a utility or two in New Mexico. This way, I felt like I was contributing to the bills while I was unemployed. Even though I didn’t have everything lined up, I at least had a game plan.

Are you ready? Mike asked as we held hands walking out of our empty townhome. I had no words as I just squeezed his hand tighter.

We hit the road, and at first I just sat in the car and looked around Atlanta as we drove by, and I knew this was our final view of it all as things just got real. Naturally, I still had my reserves about it all, but, hell, it was too late now. Mike must have known I was scared, and maybe he was as well, as we both sat in silence for almost thirty minutes before he finally broke the ice.

Hey, you okay?

I was so grateful he said something, because my mind was all over the place. I’m good, just a little nervous. Albuquerque is so far away, and we know no one.

Well, don’t think about it like that. We have each other, and I know I couldn’t have made this trip without you.

Well, babe, to be honest, you have a job; you have a solid plan in New Mexico. I’m starting over yet again, and it’s a little scary. Especially since I was just starting to get my feet firmly planted back in Atlanta.

Well, I promise this move will benefit us both not just me.

As comforting as that sounded, I guessed in time we would see. Mike was a good guy, but actions speak louder than words for sure, and he knew this.

Home Sweet Home…

I was really not a fan of road trips, so I tried to make it as fun as possible. Why wouldn’t I? We had a two-day trip, so almost forty-eight hours together on the open road could either be dreadful or eventful. I’d go with eventful, so I printed out a bunch of silly yet entertaining questions to get to know the man for whom I was leaving my comfort zone in Georgia for the unknown of New Mexico.

So what is your travel bucket list?

Anywhere with you.

Aww, that’s sweet but not really a real answer. I laughed, trying not to aggravate Mike, but I thought it was too late. By the time I got to question number eight or nine, he was over it. So then I tried good ole-fashioned I spy. He was into it at first, but again after fifteen minutes or so, he was over it. Next I played sing-along as I switched from station to station looking for a good song, but as we hit some of these no-man’s-lands, the good stations were few and far between. Mike was cool with silence in the car, but I hated it, as it always just put me to sleep. So I just went to sleep.

After forty-three hours of driving, stopping, eating and resting, we made it safely into New Mexico. I was a kid in a candy store as we drove down Highway 40 and I looked around at our new city and surroundings. It was all so surreal, but I was trying to stay positive.

Welcome home, babe, Mike said as we walked into our new two-bedroom apartment, which James had helped us pick out.

I wasn’t a fan of living in apartments because it was kind of a waste of money, and Mike knew this, so I was hoping this living arrangement and our relationship status (boyfriend and girlfriend) were both just temporary.

Cute place, was all I said as I walked throughout the space.

Look, we have a mountain view, Mike said, pointing out the window as I came over and half looked outside.

I had to give Mike credit; he was definitely seeing the positive side of this whole experience, but it was kind of hard for him not to, especially since this was all for him. I was just the passenger in the car.

Yeah, that’s pretty, I finally said, trying to cheer myself up.

"So I figure we have a day or two to get settled, so how about we go grab some dinner and explore