Wisdom for a Better Life: Practical Principles for Everyday Living

By Debi Davis

Wisdom for a Better Life is a practical guide for helping people gain new perspectives on every day challenges. It provides realistic and biblically supported approaches to acquiring patience, discernment, financial control, abundant living, fighting fear, overcoming addictions, building health boundaries, improving relationships, healing, conflict resolution, and much more. Wisdom for a Better Life helps the reader feel at peace with their circumstance and discover the purpose and direction for their future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Frederick Fell Publishers, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 15, 2009
• ISBN: 9780883912911

Debi Davis

Debi Davis is the founder of Fit America Weight Loss and Wellness Stores. She personally lost 85 pounds and has helped countless numbers of others to achieve their weight loss goals. Debi is a recognized speaker on radio and TV on the subject of weight management. Sitting on the Board of both Boys and Girls Clubs and Junior Achievement, Debi recognized the need for helping overweight children of all ages.

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REFLECTION & CHANGE

I recently read a very thought-provoking statement:

"God’s gift to us is our talents. How we

use those talents is our gift TO God."

Theoretically, I know we all want to be the very best we can be. But, in the heat of everything thrown at us called life, do we really do our very best? Or, do we simply do just enough to get by? It is easy to justify a mediocre performance while telling ourselves how much we are expected to get done every day. But, upon true reflection, are we really happy with our accomplishments? Are we the ‘best we can be’?

Just starting with the basics… most of us are rarely satisfied with our appearance or weight and are usually quietly aware that we are growing much more in terms of our physical size than we are in our intellectual capacity or accomplishments! That being said, what are we doing about it? It’s easy to put off hitting the gym, eating better or working harder. Ask yourself, when was the last time you read something that made you think or felt motivated to take a new and positive approach to a long-term, problematic situation? This may be the first book you’ve read in a while, that didn’t come from the ‘fiction’ section of the bookstore!

It is human nature to do what feels good or what is most comfortable rather than what’s really right for us. Just observing the obvious, that same concept explains why the majority of the population is overweight. Eating tasty treats that are unhealthy often becomes the favored choice when compared to eating something healthful that isn’t quite as delectable. People don’t really need to be told a donut isn’t the better choice over an egg white omelet in the morning, yet the collective number of breakfast baked goods sold out-number eggs significantly.

The same concept holds true with just about every choice we make. If you think about it, it seems that successful people do right before they feel good and unsuccessful people need to feel good before they are motivated to do right. Which one have you been?

Good decisions are often difficult or painful. In most cases, they create discomfort initially because change is rarely a part of our comfort zone. It is not until after the right decision is made that we see the fruit of that decision and are motivated to continue. If we never start… well, you know the rest; that’s probably why you’re reading this book!

No matter what your behavioral history has been, today is a new day. From today forward, know you will have an opportunity to make a choice about what kind of day you’ll have, every day, for the rest of your life. You can choose to be happy, sad, lazy, mediocre or excellent in your pursuit of each day’s activities and responsibilities; or not. Today’s outcome is directly related to the choice you make going into the day. Even if you fool others about your performance, you will not be able to fool yourself. We all know when we are working and living to our potential and when we are slacking. Discontent is a result of living below our performance standards and not utilizing the gifts we are given to their maximum capability.

The first step to any change is belief in oneself, your collective abilities, and your desire to improve. You possess a God-given and unique ability to positively impact others and, in so doing, be more fulfilled yourself. In the journey to pursue a positive and balanced life, we all have to make a conscious, volitional choice between many competing opportunities including how we spend our time. Time, in the moment, is all we can really choose; the rest is a memory of the past or a plan for the future. Intellectually, we are aware that improvement is possible. But, concept without action is meaningless.

…Faith without works is dead. James 2:26.

There are several steps necessary in order to create change. Each is a trigger for the next:

You must change your thinking in order to change your belief. If you think you can do something, you need to begin to believe that the accomplishment is possible. If you don’t have belief in your ability… you won’t be able to move forward and the rest of the process is unimportant.

All things are possible for him who believes… Mark 9:23

Change your belief and you will change your expectation. If you don’t expect positive outcomes, you will have little desire or motivation to do the steps necessary to make those outcomes a reality. Why work for something you don’t think you are able to accomplish? Look at your goal and consider all the ways in which you can make that goal a reality. Once you are comfortable that your goal is both realistic and attainable, you can then expect it to happen.

Change your expectation and you will change your attitude. Positive expectations can only breed a positive attitude. You can’t negatively proceed toward a positive expectation - our brain does not work that way. When we are comfortable in the direction we are taking, and take the time to see progress along the way, we become happier. Simply moving forward in the right direction will stir a positive response that will provoke a better attitude and outlook for the future.

Change your attitude and you will change your behavior. It is almost impossible for bad behaviors to follow positive attitudes or expectations. When you are committed to an attitude that promotes a new and favorable behavior, your desire to act in a manner contrary to the right behavior is diminished or even eliminated. Energy attracts like energy.

…be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and in the perfect will of God. Romans 12:1.

Change your behavior and you will change your performance. New behaviors promote a new routine that will create greater accomplishments.

Change your performance and you will change your outcome. The result of an improved performance cannot do anything but provide a more desired outcome. You certainly cannot continue to do things as you do now and expect a different result. New opportunities are only available through new approaches.

Change the outcome and you will change your life. A better life is the result of preferred and positive programming. Each of these steps are all interesting points that can really make a profound difference in your life when you decide to be the best you can be.

Every day is a day for improvement. Today can certainly be better than yesterday; tomorrow has the potential to be better than today. You have been given gifts; it’s just up to you to see what the ideal application is and utilize your gifts to the best of your ability.

Never fear personal evaluation, that’s what this book is all about. Know that honestly viewing who you are should not be an exercise to beat yourself up. It should encourage you to look at those things that are working for you and think of all the ways you can change those things that are not. If you look hard enough, you’ll identify your aptitudes and talents, perhaps some you may have even forgotten exist, and can design a path for yourself that provides the life you wish to lead. Enjoy and embrace the process.

ACHIEVING A CONTENTED LIFE

Each day can be a new adventure. Each adventure offers new opportunities. Many of the experiences we face on a day-to-day basis provide challenges that are out of our control. We all live in a reality that is different for each of us. Depending upon how you live or where you live on the planet, the diversity of conditions you are faced with every day can be immense. You could have:

A life of peace vs. turmoil…

Financial challenge vs. abundance…

Unconditional love vs. attention starvation…

Flexible hours vs. a regimented schedule…

Family responsibilities vs. a single life…

Business pressures vs. unemployment…

Plentiful food sources vs. malnutrition & hunger…

The list of reality options is long yet happiness and contentment are available in each and every circumstance. The ‘Serenity Prayer’ says it best, God, please help me to accept those things I cannot change, change those things I can… and the wisdom to know the difference.

Most people are unaware that, Reinhold Niebuhr, the author of these wonderful words had even more to say. The Serenity Prayer continues with:

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next.

Amen.

My wise publisher reminded me that change is never stable, which is why we fight it so strongly. Most of us like stability and status quo. According to science and metaphysics, change is always changing. So, if you start with that principle, nothing - no thing is unchangeable… even the things we don’t think we are capable of impacting can be altered by us if that is our desire. Look at history’s human rights leaders. Most of these people started out as seemingly small and unknown individuals and changed countries with their vision, hope and belief in a positive outcome.

Principles are at the center of each human being. They are the architecture upon which personality is draped and are the foundational blocks or cornerstones that our family, friends, and even acquaintances count on in their interaction with us. Ralph Waldo Emerson said The meaning of good and bad, better or worse, is simply helping or hurting.

Positive people stand for something and that something has a visible impact on their world and those living in it. Find the good in each instance as well as the obstacle. Identify what has to happen in order for that obstacle to be overcome. If you have the ability to change a situation, then do it. If not, accept it and focus on all the other positive and productive aspects of your life. Improve what you are able to improve, enjoy what IS and stop beating your head against a wall.

Perspective can allow a silver lining to shine through even the darkest of clouds. Time may be the thing you need to see you through, so make a time-line. Set realistic goals along the way. Focus on improving all aspects of your life so you can see progress instead of just those things that are difficult or painful. Watch how powerful you can be when positive energy is put forth for good. Stress, anger, frustration and resentment are all wasted emotions. They change nothing. Put love, laughter and a light heart into everything you do. Count your blessings, every day, and you will soon see that the important things are yours in abundance already.

Contentment often comes through simplification. We make assumptions that ‘more’ is what we need in order to be happy. We have been programmed to want more through the barrage of advertising and consumerism that has rocked America. But, it is not uncommon for ‘more’ to mean added responsibilities, added frustrations, added scheduling coupled with too little time to do everything. Bigger homes mean more to clean. More cars mean more maintenance and upkeep. More over-indulgence means more hours at work to earn more money to pay more bills. Is all that really worth it?

We are going to dive into many of the items listed in this chapter at greater length later, but I want to give you a simplified method to begin your quest for a better life and ability to achieve contentment right away:

Pray. God knows our hearts and what we want.

Communicate with Him daily and share your concerns. Ask for His guidance rather than giving God a laundry list of all the things we want given to us. Pass Him your problems…when you know you have handed off your troubles to God, there is no more reason to hang on to them.

Eat right and exercise. Being in optimal nutritional balance and overall good health will ward off disease and make you feel more vital. Don’t ignore these important elements of contentment; they are more valuable than gold.

Go to bed on time. Rest is the reliever of many ills. It is hard to tackle challenges when you’re tired and run down. Your body will do better with a regular routine and sleep is an important element.

Don’t be rushed in the morning. When there is a lot to do, finding yourself with less available time because you slept in late only adds to the days’ frustrations. Give yourself enough time to do all the things you want to do before starting your work day. Create a schedule. Anticipate your time requirements for each task. That will tell you what time you need to get up in the morning which will also dictate what time you need to go to bed at night.

Say ‘NO’ to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that compromise your sanity. Doing too much is the nemesis of today’s society. So many of the tasks we take on are unnecessary and debilitating. Prioritize the things you want and need to do, then stick to your list and be prepared to say ‘no’ to those things that don’t fit in.

Delegate tasks to others. Don’t try to do everything yourself; let others help you. People love to feel needed and you can use the assistance. This is especially true within families. Everyone needs to make their own contribution to the whole which fosters more appreciation for each other.

Simplify and un-clutter your life. Evaluate areas of your life that may be taking up more time than necessary or projects that are time-consuming, but not productive. Eliminate those that are more of a hindrance than an asset.

Less is more. You are better off doing a few things well than a lot of things poorly. The same applies to acquisitions. Many of the material things we think we cannot live without become an unnecessary noose of responsibility around our necks. Minimize them.

Allow extra time to do things and to get places.

Schedule yourself properly so you are not running around like a crazy person. Allow extra time in case unexpected emergencies arise.

Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects. Don’t take on more challenges than you can comfortably handle all at once.

Take one day at a time. Tomorrow is another day. Whatever you don’t get done today will still be there tomorrow. Plan your time so you know you’ve done the best job possible as you put your head on your pillow at night. Be realistic about the expectations you put on yourself.

Leave your worries and concerns on the bedside table. Whatever is weighing on you at the end of the day should be listed on a piece of paper prior to bedtime. Once done, you have no reason to lose sleep over those items… they will still be there in the morning when you are better rested and more able to tackle them. Keeping them on your mind will simply interfere with your ability to get a much-needed, good nights’ sleep.

Give your fears to God. Once your list of burdens is written down, make those items part of your prayers and give the list to God. He knows what is best for you and will provide the solution to all your problems if you simply ask for help. Be patient… God’s timetable may be different than yours.

Live within your budget and don’t over-spend. Financial woes are the number one cause for discontent. It creates unrest between family members and can be a constant source of stress that is easily eliminated with good financial stewardship.

Think before you speak. When rushed or preoccupied, it is easy to say things abruptly that neither reflect what we mean or how we mean to say them. If you are going to speak with someone, or are being spoken to, take the time to hear what the person says and respond thoughtfully, not emotionally.

Get organized so everything has its place. Knowing where things are and keeping them in their proper place eliminates unnecessary time-delays and frustration. Everyday items like keys, wallets, purses and cellular phones should have a usual place in your home or office so you’re not searching for them when you’re rushed and ready to go somewhere.

Solve problems quickly. When faced with a challenge, consider all the solution possibilities. Write them down. Evaluate each possible resolution and eliminate the problem as soon as possible. Don’t ignore or disregard things that could increase in concern or severity with time. Procrastination will obstruct your personal peace.

Encourage friendships with positive, spirit-filled people who feed you. Eliminate toxic people from your life and trust the friendships that you cherish. Avoid people who are emotional or energy vampires that drain you.

Laugh. Enjoy life and seek enjoyable activities. Even the American Medical Association acknowledges that laughter is the best medicine for what ails you!

Help others. Give back to your community. Get involved with community activities or charity work that can provide a different feeling of accomplishment for you. Taking your focus off your troubles on occasion and opening yourself up to help others is a very rewarding and Divine experience.

Love what you do. Find a job that is fulfilling and fun. Work is not ‘work’ when you enjoy it. Most of us spend more of our day associated with our profession than any other single activity. It is critical that you enjoy what you do.

Be forgiving. Accidents happen and people make mistakes. It isn’t what we do wrong that is as important as how we make amends for our wrongdoings. Forgive others the way you