Dare to Dream: Your Journey of a Lifetime

By Karen Offord

When we are alone, our shields can come down. We no longer need to hide behind the many masks we wear. We don’t have to waste energy hiding our flaws from others. But in the apparent safety of that solitude, there lurks a trap.

Too many of us choose to focus on past traumas and dramas. It’s easy to get trapped by the regrets, pains, and failures of the past—and fears of what disappointments may await in the future. Why do we choose to allow what has happened and what may happen to destroy any hope of a happy life today?

There is a way to escape this negative, unproductive, and self-destructive way of life—and you won’t believe how much your life will change when you decide you’ve had enough of being your own worst enemy.

Dare to Dream: Your Journey of a Lifetime focuses on developing the most important and valuable relationship you will ever have—the relationship you have with yourself.

When you can embrace yourself, you can embrace others.

When you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others.

When you can accept yourself, you can accept others.

When you can love yourself, you can love others.

Throughout Dare to Dream, you will fi nd simple truths, tools, techniques, and resources to start living an authentic life you can love, starting right now—authentically. One step at a time, each step consciously leads you in the direction you choose to go with love and with joy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Jul 2, 2014
• ISBN: 9781452524191

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 Karen Offord.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use

of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The

intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help

you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use

any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional

right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-2420-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-2419-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 06/26/2014

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1     Once upon a Time

Chapter 2     Relationships—Intrapersonal to Interpersonal

Chapter 3     Love in Any Language

Chapter 4     Mind Your Words

Chapter 5     Questions

Chapter 6     Affirmations

Chapter 7     Gratitude

Chapter 8     Resilience

Chapter 9     Communication, Conflict, and Listening

Chapter 10   Authenticity and Happiness

Chapter 11   Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 12   Our Children’s Greatest Example

Chapter 13   Memorable Moments

Chapter 14   Dream Night

Chapter 15   Mission Statements

Chapter 16   A New Story

Chapter 17   Dare to Dream—Your Journey of a Lifetime

I write—because I love it with a passion.

I share—because it is truthful and helpful and the right time.

I dream—each and every one of us can shed the things that keep us stagnate and bound in fear, so we can uncover the amazing ability, joy, and brilliance that resides within. It’s in you, in me, in all, waiting to be set free and move us forward into the glorious life we were meant to live authentically and consciously.

I believe—in love, freedom, and the pursuit of whatever brings you joy without demand, forcing or inflicting pain on others. I am not affiliated with any formal religion.

To my family and friends, who have watched me grow throughout my life and, most important, encouraged me in my greatest hours of need, when I had lost my way. To them I say thank you—I love you.

To my two boys, who I am so proud of—Luke and Samuel—my greatest achievement and inspiration to search for a better life, I love you.

Last but not least to Greg, the man I love and have the privilege of spending the rest of my journey with. You captured my heart and soul forever. I love you.

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Make a cuppa or pour a drink;

Sit back, relax, and smile;

Enjoy the journey, for it is yours.

You are beautiful.

You are worth it.

References and Resources

Unlimited resources are out there, waiting to be used. In this section you will find various helplines, references and resources for assistance, further personal development, growth, and fun.

Often we just need direction, a place to start, until we discover the untapped potential and power of our own minds.

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The greatest investment you

can make is in you!

Introduction

About ten years ago, the world changed for me. All that I knew, I questioned. All that I thought, all that I was, I doubted.

It was around the time I got divorced for the second time, something I would feel guilt and shame over for a long time. In my mind, I thought I was a failure to my children, my ex-husbands, my family, and ultimately to myself—the one person I could never escape. Through the many experiences that led to my second divorce, and the many experiences that followed, I chose to embrace the decisions I made, and the changes they brought, and to set out on a personal journey of self-discovery. Although still on that journey (until the day I go home), life is much different now. I have a greater awareness, deeper understanding, an acceptance and love of myself and others, forgiveness, and inner peace. Ultimately, I was rewarded with an abundance of joy and love; for that I am humbled and forever grateful.

My goal is to share with you all I have learnt and discovered with the belief it will inspire and bring hope to all who choose to take action in their own life journeys. If nothing changes within, nothing changes. But in the outer world, change is the one constant. It is my sincere desire to help pave the way so that inevitable changes go in a direction you and I can embrace with joy and love. It all begins within.

There will always be cases, stories, and experiences beyond our comprehension and ones that need immediate, specific, professional, or legal intervention. People are affected by events and cope in many different ways. We are our own greatest critic or healer, enemy or best friend. It is important we learn to tune into ourselves and take note of what our bodies and minds are trying to tell us. Marianne Williamson, featured in the The Shadow Effect, states,

Two people can go through the exact same situation on an external level, but internally they do two completely different things with it, that’s why you hear of people who went through the Holocaust and go on to lead extraordinary lives and others who have gone through only a fraction of that but stay stuck in it forever.

Dare to Dream focuses on relationships: the relationship we have with ourselves and the relationships we have with others. Under References and Resources, you will find various helplines and resources for assistance, further personal development, growth, and fun. A few of these resources are specifically for those who require immediate intervention and assistance. It may not be you, but you may know someone in need of help! In this day and age no one should have to suffer in silence … no one! There’s help out there for anyone who needs it and is willing to seek and accept it. Some just need to have the door opened for them. If you are a friend or family member of someone in need of help, you can open the doors for the person and provide all the assistance and resources available. But know it is always the individual’s choice to accept help, or not. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness or success, just as nobody is responsible for your happiness and success. It’s all up to you.

There are also people who will laugh and ridicule those of us who wish to grow, learn, and seek a better life. Although not understood or acknowledged by these individuals, their reactions stem from fear—their fear not yours. Never allow anyone to discourage or ridicule you for trying to fulfil your dreams and seek wisdom, knowledge, truth, love, and happiness. Remember the old adage, Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. They can and do hurt if we take them on board and allow them to affect us. There’s a saying, When you take on another’s opinions, you take on board their lifestyle. Choose wisely who you listen to and what you take on board. Many of us carry unnecessary, invisible baggage filled with the burdens and negativity of others. Imagine how heavy it becomes after carrying around these burdens, doubts, insecurities, and fears for decades. No wonder our backs are sore.

We spend so much time looking out the window, judging and complaining for that’s what we know. That’s what we’ve been shown, and it’s familiar and strangely comfortable. We have forgotten or never been told that within we have all we need to unlock our greatest journey. We look in the mirror and only see what we don’t like based on what the world deems beautiful. We’ve forgotten to look beyond the physical and into our soul. We’ve forgotten we have choices.

Now is the time to start believing in yourself, getting to know the real you, learning how to tune in, listen, and hear your inner voice—that inner, loving guidance also known also as intuition or higher self. Now is the time to stop beating yourself up for things that have happened in your past, other people’s actions, or the decisions you have made. Now is the time to forgive yourself, and let go of all that doesn’t serve you. Keep only the lessons learnt, so you can move forward with your new knowledge and joy. Now is the time to find something to be grateful for. There will always be something, even if you start with simply smiling right now, because you made it through. You are now wiser and stronger and can move forward in a more positive direction, no matter how hard the past you can always begin again Buddha. We can never change our past; we can only change the way we feel about it. If not now, when?

After holding onto and suffering from a very painful, unusual experience a few years ago—caused by listening, taking on board, and allowing another person’s thoughts, actions and ideas to direct, influence, and deeply affect me—a wise teacher said to me, Let it go, learn from it, and from now on, be discerning. I will always remember his comforting words and especially the tone of his loving voice. To him I say thank you.

I understand it may seem easy to just write these words, but how does one put them into action and bring them into being? Anyone can write or say, Don’t take it on board, Don’t let it bother you, Forget about it, Do this; do that and so on. I often hear people say, But or Its different-it’s not that easy because and so on. We need to stop being so sensitive, so victimised, and realise we are brilliant and capable.

In the chapters that follow, I share helpful ways to actually achieve it, so you can simply not take it on board. Without instruction or guidance, these are just words on a page, ink from a pen. As you read, if something jumps out at you, resonates, or makes an impression, highlight it (a great practice with any book you read, as long as it’s your own copy). Make it bright and easy to find, and refer back to it at any time.

One of my dreams is to help enrich each reader’s life with an abundance of hope, tools, information, and knowledge, which you can then apply and discover how truly brilliant, creative, and capable you are. It is always your choice.

You create the world you live in and then

you have to live in the world you create.

But nobody ever said you can’t change it for the better and create a new world!

Choose a wish, find a dream,

Pick a wishing star.

Let your hopes and spirits soar

High and free and far.

Believe in the impossible,

Then work and try to do,

For only those

Who Dare to Dream

Can make a dream come true.

Author unknown

You are in control of your life, how you feel and what you do, whether it brings you joy or causes you to suffer. No buts; you choose. For a long time every morning when I woke, I’d open my eyes, stretch, and then BAM! All of a sudden, all the worries I had flooded to the front of my mind. So I started and then created my day from worry. Then one morning it clicked. I printed up a large sign and stuck it on my wardrobe door until it was ingrained in my mind.

Joy is a choice.

Each morning you wake up,

You choose.

I choose joy.

Chapter 1

Once upon a Time

Within everyone is a book, a story to be told, lessons that can be learnt, triumph’s to be shared, a life to be celebrated … if we take the time to look and listen.

This is my story

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My story begins with my earliest memory, after my parents divorced when I was about four; I don’t remember much prior to that. Mum had remarried, and we lived in a simple but nice brick home in the suburbs, with an excellent-sized backyard. I remember my stepdad let the grass grow really long towards the back of the property, and then cut winding pathways for us to play in before he mowed it all nice and neat. When we were a little older and we managed the local tennis courts, he got hold of a tennis net and strung it across the backyard. We spent many happy hours playing and bashing a tennis ball around. I lived there with my older sister, younger brother, a beautiful golden Labrador, a cat, a canary, and a number of ducks. I was happy and carefree, with a gentle nature (except when playing tennis, according to my parents, but hey, there was only the odd broken tennis racket and dummy spit on the court I’m pretty sure). My memories from that time are full of wonderful family Christmases, fun holidays, spending a lot of time with my grandparents, and playing a lot of tennis. I enjoyed high school without too many dramas and did quite well academically.

I had a small group of friends. One was my best friend throughout high school and is still a dear friend of mine to this day. We spent most of our time dreaming and talking about boys (surprise surprise). I vividly dreamt in my waking hours and whilst I slept of a beautiful man. I would know who he was the second we met, for he would take my breath away. He was kind and thoughtful, strong and wise. He was tall with fair-coloured, tousled hair, a chiselled jaw, and magnificent eyes. This was the man I would marry for life, happy ever after. He would carry me away upon his white horse to his castle on the hill, amongst beautiful wisteria’s and giant, old oak trees. There we would spend our lives together, gathering fruit and reading poetry, lying under one of the oak trees. Yes, life would be perfect.

I was going to be a graphic designer, because I loved to draw, design, and create. And my prince? Well he would be whatever he wanted to be. It never really entered my mind, except he would be good at what he did and enjoy it. Together we would work and play, enjoying every moment of our lives together, from the boring everyday chores of cleaning and washing up (of course we would sing and laugh as we cleaned, but the thought of a housekeeper crept in from time to time) to all the fun adventures and things we could discover and experience. We would always make time to spend with each other. I was excited and believed with all my heart it was all possible. I innocently looked forward to the day my wonderful dream would come true. Hmmm you say and laugh wondering when I will mention the little blue birds folding my sheets, read on. The world soon told me otherwise, and I listened, although a part of me held onto my thoughts and dream.

I met a boy in high school. He was nice, cute of course, and from a really nice family. We dated throughout the later years of high school, with the occasional your dropped moment, (otherwise known as I don’t want to be your girlfriend or boyfriend anymore). Ahhh, remember those days? My kids laugh when I tell them that’s how it was. These days, I think they just text each other or block them on Facebook or Twitter.

As I was finishing high school, my mum and stepdad (always known to me as Daddy Bob) suddenly separated. I don’t remember a great deal about that time. I was a teenager and very caught up in my own thing—me! Nor did I want to know. My mum moved out, and there was my dad … alone, heartbroken. It was very hard to watch, especially as my mum seemed so happy off with her new man, although I didn’t see her very much for a while. I know there are two sides to every story, and it wasn’t until years later that I found out what really happened. Well their different versions that overlapped in parts. Like any separation, one’s perception of events is usually different than another’s. But at the time, all I saw was my dad and how it affected him. He told me years later that he believed Dale Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living was what helped him through his divorce and that period of his life. However, as it was happening, I