Battle for the Seed

By Chinasa Oparaugo

In this thought-provoking, practical and real narrative on the vulnerability of our children
in today’s society; author, counselor, motivational speaker and life coach, Chinasa Oparaugo
takes you through an expose to highlight what most children really go through as a result of
leaving them with third-party care-givers.
The author engages the reader from the beginning of the book right through to the end,
drawing on personal experiences and principles for living to proffer alternatives to mitigate
the obvious risks and hazards faced by most children left in the care of nannies. We need to
know, there is a battle for the Seed.
Starting now, protect your child by implementing strategies and life-enriching skills that will
not only ensure purpose-driven parenting, but will enhance the relationship between you and
your spouse in marriage. Effective parenting can be achieved optimally within a functional,
supportive and loving marital relationship. Take the step now!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jun 30, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462882557

Chinasa Oparaugo

Chinasa Oparaugo is an experienced counselor, prolific writer, motivational speaker and life coach. As a Professional she has over 19 years working experience in the consulting, banking and financial services industry. Chinasa has worked in external audit, management consulting, human resource management, academia and research. She is presently a doctoral researcher in management with research interests in business ethics, strategy and organizational behavior with focus on the dynamics and interplay of moral intelligence, corporate strategy and organizational cultures. Chinasa is married to Engr. Chris Oparaugo and they are blessed with three wonderful children.

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Chinasa Oparaugo.

ISBN: Softcover    978-1-4628-8254-0

ISBN: Ebook        978-1-4628-8255-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

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CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

PREFACE

PART 1: REASONS NOT TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE WITH A NANNY

INTRODUCTION    What Is Going On?

CHAPTER ONE    Compromised Spiritual Authority in the Home

CHAPTER TWO    Incidence of Child Abuse

CHAPTER THREE    Susceptibility to Organized Crime

CHAPTER FOUR    Conflicting Influences on the Child

CHAPTER FIVE    Vulnerability of the Child to Costly Mistakes

CHAPTER SIX    Goal Conflict between Parentsand the Nanny

CHAPTER SEVEN    The Physical Realm is Governed by the Spiritual

PART 2: HOW TO COPE WITHOUT A NANNY

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER EIGHT    Have a Paradigm Shift

CHAPTER NINE    Have a Family Strategy

CHAPTER TEN    The Power of Two

CHAPTER ELEVEN    Commit to Succeed

CHAPTER TWELVE    Achieve Your Goals

A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO PARENTS

Tough Times Never Last but Tough Parents Do

DEDICATION

In loving memory of my parents,

Engr. Godfrey & Comfort Okoro

Thank you, for being there

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I love and appreciate you Chris, for your love and support without which parenting our children would have been a challenge. I also appreciate you for being a man after God’s heart. You are thoughtful, dependable, responsible and committed.

Karis, Tochi and Iheanyichukwu, my beloved treasures, you made it possible for me to get strategic in child-rearing and continuously horn my skills in parenting. Even now, your proof-reading, critique, suggestions, not to mention your questions concerning this work has been invaluable. I love you very, very much or should I say, toooooooo much.

Yetunde, thanks for taking time out to read and critique the manuscript in its raw form.

Chidube, at least we can compare notes and arrive at the same conclusion; ‘Mums and Pops’ were the best.

The Xlibris Team, I thank you for your direction, assistance and support. You made publishing this book a pleasant experience.

Above all, my inspiration and instruction came from God Almighty. Father, I have done what you commanded, may lives be blessed and your name be glorified. Amen.

PREFACE

Being a parent is as exciting as it is challenging, filled with activities, plans, desires, aspirations and expectations for your beloved children. The arrival of children is heralded with joy and fulfilment, a process considered an immediate follow-up to marriage. Their arrival has however put a burden of responsibility on parents to ensure that the little treasures placed in their care are nurtured, mentored and coached on to success and the pursuit of a purpose-driven destiny. It therefore implies that extra attention and care must be exercised in their upbringing, with them hopefully turning out godly ambassadors and a commendable reflection of the parents who raised them. A tall order but achievable. To this end, every parent knows that the buck stops at their table. Yet I note with a sense of dismay the rate at which most parents leave the care of the home and children, for whatever genuine reason, in the hands of nannies.

The word nanny means different things to different people. For some it is synonymous with stress, for some others it is a necessary evil, a few just sigh with exasperation while for others, you might just have said witch. Surprisingly for two or three mothers I know they represent true help. I thank God for those who have had good experiences with them. It still shows there are a few nannies out there, with a heart of gold. Probably in present times, it would be like trying to find a ‘needle in a haystack’.

A lot of people look at me in amazement when they learn that having been married for many years with three children I have never had a nanny. Yet I’m not a stay-at-home mum either, and they ask, How do you cope? I have over time had the honour, opportunity and privilege to humbly share my experience with other parents on how to cope without a nanny. The women ask to confirm the near impossibility of such in present times and the men at times ask to confirm such a possibility to their wives. For whoever that is asking, each time I tell them it is not a circumstantial happening but a deliberate ban on nannies. I do recognize the fact that under certain circumstances parents might need help in caring for their children, but I feel deeply concerned with the prevalent practice of automatically adding a nanny to the household once children are on the way. Most parents I have discussed with think that without a nanny, child-rearing is almost impossible.

I have come with a message that with every life challenge there is a solution, if one can only look for it and work it out. Child-rearing is a phase in life, just like schooling, working, relationships and so on. Every parent has the innate ability to cope with any of these phases of life without risky third party assistance. Every life assignment has the ability and capability for its execution within us if we can but make the right decisions and put in the requisite effort to succeed in that endeavour. Our decision as parents not to have a nanny has been because of the various reasons I will discuss in this book. Indeed it is possible to cope without a nanny and still achieve your goals rather than expose the child to some of the atrocities that have been committed by a number of nannies.

However, is it really about the nanny? Believe me it is not exactly about the nannies, it is about much more. And that is why every parent needs to read this book in order to gain an understanding of situations that would otherwise be considered circumstantial. The issue is really about the seed—the child and the soul of nations.

So why am I writing this book, you may wonder? Well a famous quote by Edwin Burke says that Evil flourishes because good men do nothing?, I concur and proceed to rephrase that to say Evil thrives when godly men do nothing?. While the treatment of the meaning and differences between good and godly is not for this stream of conversation, it is clear from using the word when that evil can be checked, stopped and reversed through concerned, committed action. What am I saying? The spate of abuses against children left in the care of nannies must stop. Parents owe their children protection even if it is at their own expense or convenience. There are a lot of things happening in the society today that has compromised the safety and well-being of children. I know a lot of parents reading this will say that is not my portion, I agree with that, and for those that say my own case is different, while I also concur with that, I must quickly add that no-one gets nannies through ‘immaculate acquisition’.

I pray to effectively engage parents in this conversation in a manner that will elicit action from as many as are willing and able to take it. In showcasing actual happenings in our society as a result of the parental reliance on nannies, I have included a few of such real life experiences which have been modified to protect the true identity of the parties involved. This book is therefore a call for action written for the vast majority of parents, who have the moral courage to pursue an alternative route to child care, without employing nannies.

PART 1

REASONS NOT TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE WITH A NANNY

INTRODUCTION

What Is Going On?

Yet another nanny alert in my mail box! When will this end? Another distraught mum spreading the news of a paedophile nanny on the run, who unknown to them had been sexually abusing their 3 year-old daughter, probably in liaison with a male stranger known to her.

While I would say crucify the nanny, I also can’t help wondering why people give others the power to hurt them. What would make a parent hand over such power to a stranger in the name of domestic help and then go to the office very early in the morning coming back even later at night, only to rely on the nanny’s account of what happened with the children during the day. At times we console ourselves with giving barrages of instructions in the morning and making intermittent phone calls during the day. What else do we expect her to say other than yes ma to every question asked. Whether she lets in other strangers known to her into the home while we are at work, we don’t know.

I had always wondered at the following;

1.    The almost helpless assumption that we cannot do