Helping Your Friend Through the Storm: Understanding the Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Ways That You Can Help Others Through the Difficulties in Their Lives

By Debbie Hand

Helping Your Friend through the Storm offers new ideas to help you expand the ways that you help others. Debbie shares personal experiences taken from her cancer journal that delve into the emotional hardships she endured. She shares personal examples, expounding with practical and unique approaches to adopt as your own. Encouraging Scripture verses as well as biblical stories brought to life will inspire you to minister to others as they endure hardships.

While going through brain surgery to correct epileptic seizures, followed by breast cancer one year later, Debbie experienced physical, emotional, and spiritual struggles in her life. She soon experienced joy in talking to new cancer patients and saw how God was using her life experiences to help others. Debbie returned to college and got a degree in social work. While she was in her third year, she found out that she had breast cancer on the other side. Along with family and friends, she had a group of future social workers at her side. Debbie understands personally the needs that others experience as they go through difficulties in their lives. She has been touched by the love that God has shown her through her family and friends in different and unique ways. Debbie's prayer is that her personal experiences will help guide you as you help loved ones through the storm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512711691

Debbie Hand

Debbie and her husband, Tom, of thirty-five years have three grown children and enjoy being grandparents. They live in El Paso, a small town in central Illinois. In addition to helping and mentoring others, Debbie enjoys quilting, gardening and baking.

Book preview

A Poem To My Sisters

You cried with me as I shared the news

Of the cancer that I had,

You put your loving hand on me

And prayerfully lifted me up.

Your prayers went up on a daily basis,

I didn’t have strength of my own,

You called to Him then called to me,

As you picked up your touch-tone phone.

You came to my house

And did lots of work.

You lovingly cleaned up the messes.

The dusting, the bathrooms,

The floors all got cleaned --

You could tell there was love in the muscles!

You went with me to chemo,

And sat there with support.

We talked about the good ole’ days,

Like when we built the fort!

We’ve been sisters all our lives,

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Cuz’ we are now the best of friends,

That only heaven could bring.

Your Sister, Deb

This poem was written shortly after finishing chemotherapy and radiation treatments, as I thought of the many ways my sisters had helped me through my storms. Specific remembrances stuck out in my mind, from polishing my nails, bringing meals, and cleaning my house, to encouraging cards, scripture verses and prayers.

Debbie’s Personal Story

I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord

Psalm 118:17

I had been having epileptic seizures since I was a child that were getting worse as I got older. Eventually, I had to give up driving, which was one of the really hard times. With three young children, it affected our whole family life. The doctors and I tried all the drugs possible. At one time I thought the seizures were controlled enough that I could drive, and the doctor agreed.

I started driving again…it was my 40th birthday. I must have had another seizure because as I came out of it, somebody was knocking on my car window. I looked up, and the car in front of me had a big dent in it. Nobody was hurt -- but it really hurt to know I probably wouldn’t be driving again. It really hurt when I got a letter from the Secretary of State telling me to send them my license. My condition was something that affected me not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually on a daily basis.

I requested of God many times, and He answered me the same way that He answered Paul in 2 Corinthians…My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weaknesses. Just like any other disability, I continued to check out my possibilities. I had tried all of the medications available -- and there was one last option. One of my doctors had suggested several years earlier about the possibility of brain surgery -- which I had just pushed away. But I now started contemplating the prospect.

I wasn’t sure if brain surgery was something I wanted to attempt. My doctor suggested I go ahead and start pre-surgical testing, since it would take several months. Brain surgery is usually not something where they open you up and look around. They want to know exactly what they are going to do before surgery.

My first test consisted of a week-long hospitalization where they hooked me up to EEG monitors, kept a video on me at all times, and took me off of my medications, hoping that I’d have a seizure. Well, the doctor’s orders as I went home were, of course, not to drive. But I also shouldn’t ride a bike, go roller blading, take a walk, mow the lawn, cook, take a bath, handle anything that is hot, use a knife, go swimming…and the list went on and on. (Don’t tell him, but I disobeyed the doctor’s orders.) My decision was now confirmed. I couldn’t keep living like this. Or as I thought, NOT living, knowing that there was one last option left.

I went through months of pre-surgical testing, and had brain surgery on November 9, 1999. I am now seizure free and when I think about it, I am still amazed…at Him who is able to do EXCEEDING ABUNDANTLY beyond all that we ask or think! He is a so much bigger God than I had realized. He is a bigger God, yet He still cares about the smallest details of my life. I knew that He loved me -- but to totally heal me from a disease that was controlling my life! He is my Jehovah-Rapha -- the God who heals. He healed me physically, but more importantly, He healed me spiritually and emotionally.

The following summer, I was almost totally recuperated from brain surgery, ready to move on and thinking to myself that if I could handle brain surgery -- I could handle any other physical ailment that comes my way…

I had gone one full year without any seizures and was so excited, as I had just gotten my drivers license that week. I had been contemplating what I was going to do. Get a job? Start volunteering somewhere? Go back to college? I was ready to move on.

But I had also felt a lump in my breast and was already scheduled to have a mammogram. As they began the examination I was immediately told that I needed to have additional testing. Here I was, finally able to drive, but too worried and anxious to drive myself. My husband took me to Peoria, where they did a biopsy. They would have the results and call the next day. Dear God…please don’t let it be cancer! I am too young! I had seen what cancer could do, as I said good-bye to a precious friend of mine who had died one week earlier from cancer. When my husband came home for lunch and we awaited the phone call, I couldn’t understand how he could eat at a time like this. I knew if I ate, I would throw it all up! The phone rang, and it was the doctor. I can still hear his voice, and I’ll never forget those seven words. I’m sorry, but the tumor is malignant. There are three tumors there, and I would suggest a mastectomy. God already started using Scripture that was such a help when I went through brain surgery. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).

The next couple of weeks were extremely emotional. I could relate to Paul who wrote,

…we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10

My thoughts whirled around. "God…I don’t know why this is happening. You brought me through brain surgery and I know you have the power to just remove this cancer! Use this situation in my life to your glory. Another verse came to mind that I thought was only for funerals. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me." (Psalm 23:4). I felt like I was in a valley, with the shadow of death lurking. It was the deepest valley I’ve known.

We attended church on Sunday and the message was on a passage in Numbers Chapter 11. Moses had been leading the Israelites, but his load was getting heavy, and he told God, I alone am not able to carry this because it is too burdensome for me. God told Moses to find some people, and then He said, "…and I will take of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with