Food, Family, & Dysfunction :: A Second Helping

By M. Angelina

Food, Family, and DysFUNction: A Second Helping is another amazing journey through the life of Sofia Azzerella. Sofia is a thirty-something Italian-American woman. Her life has been full of ups and downs. Now, life is better than ever! She is doing well in her professional life (co-operating her family-owned produce company), and her personal life. She has even learned to bob and weave her way through the drama of her hilariously dysfunctional family. She has two quirky, yet fun best friends who she happily shares everything with, and she has a hot new beau!
Sofia and her two besties take a well-deserved road trip. It is on this trip that the girls meet a seemingly vulnerable woman. Sofia believes that she and this woman can help each other. But can they? Has she made a mistake in bringing this woman into her home? Watch as her past, present, and future unfold in an explosive showdown. Fasten your seatbelt for this hilarious yet touching ride through crazy town.
To catch up on Sofias adventures, be sure to check out the first of this series, Food, Family, and DysFUNction.
You can follow M. Angelina on Facebook.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477287361

M. Angelina

M. Angelina is the author of the series Food, Family, and Dysfunction and Food, Family, and DysFUNction: A Second Helping. She resides in Indiana with her husband and two children. She is a graduate of Indiana Wesleyan University. She enjoys reading, rafting (resting on them), long walks, spending time with her family and friends, and Sunday dinners.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

F amily: can’t live with them, can’t live without them. I have resigned to complaining about mine from time to time. When they are not being draining pain in the asses they are pretty cool. I will even go so far as to say at times that I am damn lucky to be an Azzerella. For example, my mother and her roommate saved my life last year. Technically, it was a couple of months ago but this is January and a fresh new year. My mother’s name is Francis, and until she met Doris at the nursing home, she was a typical, elderly Italian lady. That is if being a hell-raising nudist is typical.

Since Doris has stepped on to the scene, Mom has decided to trade in nudity for vodka straight from the flask. For extracurricular activity, they enjoy pinochle, for small wagers of course, and just recently are volunteering in the facility’s soda shop… long story.

I am Sofia Azzerella, but everybody calls me Sofie. I co-own a wholesale produce company with my brothers, Dom and Jacky, my sister, Gina, and Aunt J. We have two other siblings, a brother named Tony and a sister, Marie.

Last year I was sucked into a hard-core investigation. I dived deep into the case unaware one of my own employees was involved. He was among a handful of shady culprits involved in organic produce fraud. I was trying to help a dear elderly couple from losing their grocery store. I was certain they had crooked employees and I was right. What I didn’t anticipate, one of my own was involved. Wish I’d known that before my unfortunate abduction. The good news is I made it home safely, and Mr. and Mrs. McCormics’ store is profitable again. It pleases me to say we are all in a better place than we were one year ago. Who knows, this time next year I may be their daughter-in-law.

Their son’s name is Trevor, and he has a rock-solid body and a face that is equally as hot. We’ve officially been dating for five weeks. We are taking it slowly, and yet it has still been the most amazing five weeks ever. I can only imagine when the real fireworks begin.

My best friends are Jill and my cousin Popper. They are glad I’ve met someone who makes my heart sing. They are especially glad he doesn’t stand in the way of our road trips and air travel. Air travel is a nice descriptive summary, but not actually an honest account. Popper has many phobias, but flying is her biggie. Usually, she heavily sedates herself, which causes a strand of drool to float around her chin. Jill and I have experience loading her onto a plane. Popper is a bit reluctant to trust us since the last time. Evidently, some facial bruising and a black eye deem us untrustworthy.

CHAPTER 2

I finish brushing my hair and decide to pull it into a tight ponytail. I did a small amount of curling and pushed a little height to the back. Not too much though; this is Chicago, not Jersey. Although, I can tell you I’ve done my share of big hair. I threw on a white-fitted shirt before sliding into my favorite power blazer. Needing to feel a tad more feminine, I grab a stack of bangle bracelets and walk through a mist of perfume before racing out the door.

As the garage door opens, a cold wind smacks me in the face. Damn these Chicago winters! I walk past my car to get a better assessment of the weather and am stricken by the pure beauty of the snow and ice-covered landscape. A thin sheet of ice sits atop the snow and creates a most beautiful shimmer. Each tree has a fair amount of snow and some have long, diamond-sparkled icicles that hang elegantly from the branches.

I soak in the scenery for a brief moment and make my way back to my car. I have to get to work, as I have some undying desire to be the first to arrive each day. I believe this allows me to ease into my day quietly and without the distraction of idle chat with my partners.

Well, not today.

Good morning, sis, how’s it going? asks my brother Dom.

I’m good actually. I’m growing to like the balance of work and play, I said.

Good for you, sis. Now do you think we can get Gina to find a balance? Dom asks.

Sure, if 75 percent is play and 25 percent work is balance, I said laughingly.

Aunt J stuck her head out of her office and shouted, It’s about time you have some fun girl, and just wait until you and that hunk of a man start getting serious… if you know what I’m saying.

No, Aunt J, I don’t know, nor will I be sharing details of my relationship with Trevor!

Aunt J throws her hands in the air in a dramatic gesture and mumbles, This is exactly the stick-up-your-ass attitude that I’m hoping will pass after you get a little love.

Dom laughs as he makes his way back to his office. I can tell the conversation was making him uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I am uncomfortable too, so why do I keep standing here? I should discretely go to my office like my brother just did.

I sit at my desk and begin sifting through piles of documents. I need to contact a couple of brokers to ask about their inflating prices. This isn’t the kind of call I’m used to making. I have spoken with a few of my contacts who were not seeing the same kind of fluctuation. This left me no other choice but to address the issue.

Something tells me this has Gina written all over it. Since losing a buyer, I’m leaning on Gina to help with purchasing. She is usually in charge of office supplies and other small things that do not involve a lot of interaction with people. Mostly because she has a special gift for telling it like it is, or how she thinks it is. I’m sure it feels great; however, in the business world, that is a luxury afforded to very few.

Gina is the reason I’m only taking four days off for my trip to Minnesota with the girls. I can only imagine the number of people Gina could piss off if given a full week. In fact, I’m starting to get nervous about the four days.

Eugene was the first person I telephoned.

Eugene, this is Sofia Azzerella, how are you doing?

Doing well, so what can I help you with?

I’m actually calling about the invoices. I am noticing the prices are inflating quite a bit, and I wonder if there are some changes in the market.

He stumbled for a second then his voice seemed to change to a more aggressive tone. The price hike is a result of the time I’m spending on your order with Gina in charge.

Gina’s role with buying is only temporary, I said. We are currently accepting résumés for that position. In the meantime, I will be the sole buyer on this account… that is if we can get back to reasonable pricing.

Remember, our deal is null and void if I have to work with Gina, he proclaimed.

Gina is good at heart, she just has to work on her approach, I said.

I’ll say her approach is that of the late Mussolini, he says in a very matter of fact manner.

I disconnect and dial the other distributor who sings me the same tune. This time, thankfully, I was able to persuade him back to normal pricing with the exception of a couple of things that he actually lowered after I shamed him. We’ve had a solid business relationship for years, and they have the balls to pull that; yep they should lower.

My head fell into my hands where I massaged my temples. What timing. The ding of my cell alerts me to an incoming text message. I rush to grab it hoping it is Trevor. When I see his name, I feel all tingly.

His message reads, hi doll u avail 4 lunch 2day??

I text back, wish I could—remember im havin lunch with the girls.

"lucky them!" he responds.

we are nailing down plans for our Minnesota trip—so far we hv the hotel booked and that’s it. 33715.jpg

no need to explain im glad you hv your girls—besides after today your mine til you leave fri.

A text or a call from Trevor really makes my day brighter. Seemingly, everything is looking up in my life. Maybe, just maybe, there is a chance of finding the right person for the buyer position.

The applicants thus far have been all wrong for the job. One nut bag walks into our interview in a T-shirt covered with antigovernment slogans. Not all the credentials in the world could allow us to look past that. Throughout the interview, I was waiting for someone to jump out and yell, You’ve been punked.

The others were either under qualified or overqualified. Oh well, we’ve been through a lot worse and made it through, so I have no doubt this little staff issue is a mere hiccup.

Saved by the bell, it is time for lunch. I organize my desk a little bit and then grab my purse. The drive is slow but sure because the roads are a little slick from the snow and ice.

Popper and Jill are already seated. I spot them through the glass window. That doesn’t stop Jill from giving me a peppy wave. As we eat some delicious chips and queso, we discuss our plans for the Minnesota getaway.

By the end of lunch, we had a solid plan for our trip, shared a lot of laughs, and walked away with full bellies. I would have to call this a successful lunch!

CHAPTER 3

T onight is my night to walk with Mom. Afterward, I’m going to dinner with Trevor. Dating him has been like nothing I have ever experienced. The best way to describe it is easy. It just feels like an incredible sense of belonging—and lust.

In spite of my feeling that we belong together, I am steadfast on taking things slowly. I want to be sure that he is the one. Jumping from guy to guy isn’t my thing. Before my ex-boyfriend, Pete, I had only been with one man, and now I want to jump into bed with Trevor, but I can’t. Catholic guilt is causing me to be conscientious of the numbers.

Mom and Doris (her roommate) are watching E! News and getting all the celebrity gossip and fashion tips for God only knows what.

As I walked in, I greeted them. Hey ladies, whatcha doing?

Oh, hey Sofie, not much going on here today besides Ethel in 206, she kicked the bucket.

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that… how sad.

Doris lifts her sights from the television. Don’t get too worked up, she was a self-righteous bitch, wasn’t she Francis?

Pretty much, Mom agreed. You know, once Doris offered her a seat at bingo, and Ethel started shouting, ‘No gambling, it is a sin! Stop bingo; stop it now before you all go to hell!’ Mom said rolling her eyes. A real nut job that one. She doesn’t realize we are Catholics, and we Catholics love bingo.

You know what? I personally believe this place is hell, said Doris.

Doris, please tell me you don’t really feel that way about life, I said.

Doris gives me the look that warns venomous sarcasm is on the way. She opens her mouth and said, No dear, life isn’t hell, this place is hell. Take a look around, do you see any action happening around this shit hole?

Well, sometimes, I said.

I’m not talking action from us, she said as she points to Mom and herself. I’m talking action from the stiffs who live here, and I don’t consider shitting their britches action.

Wow, between the walk and the visit, I am leaving with plenty to ponder. My thoughts are getting heavy and I need to talk them through. Who better to have a deep and meaningful conversation with than my cousin Popper?

Hello, Popper, it’s me. Whatcha doing?

Taking in a little television, why? she asked.

I just left Ma’s and I’m sad. The way those poor souls live there is just plain sad, I said.

Jeez, Sofie… that is some heavy shit you’re thinking about.

The sad truth is we are all most likely going to get old or rundown, so why aren’t there better accommodations for this? Who are we as a society to sentence the elderly to a horrible, smelly, and boring ending? I ask.

Sofie, the air is not from a shit-diffusing air freshener, it smells like that from them shitting themselves.

Popper, I realize that, but I’ve been in plenty of homes with babies and toddlers who crap themselves, and the house doesn’t stink to high heaven.

Sofie, what do you want me to say? I wish the system was better too, but it isn’t and sometime before we turn one hundred, we will lobby for change. For example, to cure the boring, we’ll lobby to pass the rock wall bill and have rock walls installed in all nursing facilities. How is that for excitement? Popper asked.

Gosh, Popper, I was thinking a couple of diaper genies and a magician.

Okay, I get it, you don’t like my idea so can I get back to watching television? Deal or no deal?

Popper, that is exactly the problem right there. We young people have the power and the stamina to provide change, and yet we think we have all the time in the world to do it. We do not, and before we know it, we are gonna be old, I ranted.

All right, forget about my show, what do you want me to do?

Nothing right now. I have to get ready for my date.

I jump in the shower determined to wash the day-stress down the drain. Invigorated, I dry off and apply a subtle amount of moisturizer. I grab my makeup bag, begin fishing for concealer, and apply enough to mask the dark circles under my eyes. Once suitably covered, I applied a little bronzer, mascara, and a deep red lipstick.

After styling my hair and brushing my teeth, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see a very well dressed Trevor with a magnificent bouquet of flowers in his hands.

Come in, I said. Thank you, they’re gorgeous, let me get a vase to put these in and grab my coat.

Is Master Peri’s okay for dinner? he asked.

Are you kidding me, yes of course!

Why must I set such expectations on myself? How can I date a guy who looks like this, smells amazing, and treats me great, but won’t allow myself the pleasure of knowing every intimate detail of his body? I must me a sadist.

Sofie, you going to keep standing there?

Oh sorry, I was just thinking about something.

Care to share?

No, it’s nothing, I said blushing.

Well, we better get a move on; with these roads, it’s gonna take a little time to get there, he said. Sofie, do you think that short little coat is going to keep you warm enough?

It’s fine, these crop coats are very on-trend. Don’t you think it’s cute?

CHAPTER 4

W e pulled into the parking lot, and I was trying to decide the most dignified way to get out of Trevor’s tall SUV. Being that my skirt is a smidgen too tight, I think I may have to slide it up a little in order to stretch my leg down for a landing. From up here, I can tell this isn’t going to be easy. From here on out, my favorite outfit will be set aside for occasions that don’t involve climbing in or out of a vehicle that sits up so