A Mother's Journey: A Story of Drugs, Suicide, and Survival

By Deborah Doppelt

When twenty-three-year-old Joshua Doppelt committed suicide in January of 2008, his death sent ripples throughout his entire family. In this memoir, his mother, Deborah Doppelt, shares a story of love, anger, and frustration in dealing with the highs and lows of an adolescent with a drug problem while she explores her own grieving process.

Based on a series of journal entries created by Deborah after Joshuas death, A Mothers Journey chronicles his life, including his diagnosis and treatment for ADHD at age twelve, his work and school life, his struggles with both legal and illegal prescription drugs, his attempts at rehabilitation, and an eventual spiral out of control.

A Mothers Journey is intended as a guide for all junior and senior high school students and their parents to help teens understand the consequences of their actions. Suicide, accidental or not, leaves a devastating and permanent scar on the loved ones the victims leave behind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 6, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469781143

Book preview

A Mother’s Journey

A Story of Drugs, Suicide and Survival

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

A Mothers Journey

A Story of Drugs, Suicide, and Survival

Copyright © 2012 by Deborah Doppelt

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ISBN: 978-1-4697-8117-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4697-8114-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012903076

iUniverse rev. date: 2/27/2012

Contents

DEDICATION

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

DENIAL

CHAPTER TWO

MY EARLY YEARS

CHAPTER THREE

JOSH’S EARLY YEARS

CHAPTER FOUR

The Surgeries

CHAPTER FIVE

ANGER

CHAPTER SIX

A POSSIBLE CAUSE

CHAPTER SEVEN

BARGAINING

CHAPTER EIGHT

DEPRESSION

CHAPTER NINE

FRUSTRATION

CHAPTER TEN

THE ANNILIATION OF ALL THINGS WORTHWHILE IN LIFE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

ACCEPTANCE

EPILOGUE

MOVING FORWARD

DEDICATION

A Mother’s Journey was written in honor of my beloved son Joshua David Doppelt. His premature death had a devastating impact on our entire family.

My memoir is also devoted to my wonderful daughter Jordan Beth Doppelt. She has persevered through the most difficult of situations.

In addition I need to thank my mother, brother and sister-in law who have always supported me in this endeavor.

Dr. Richard Fain who brought Joshua into our world and who was also instrumental in introducing me to Julie Maloney. She is the creator of Women Reading Aloud. Ms. Maloney offers seminars to seasoned writers as well as novices like me.

INTRODUCTION

I am an elementary physical education and health teacher in a private parochial school in New Jersey. I believe in a healthy mind and body. My son Josh passed away at the age of twenty-three and this story is based on my actual journal entries, made starting shortly after his death and continuing until today.

This book is a celebration of Josh’s life; the treasured times as well as the heartbreaking ones. My story is that of a young man whose life was cut short just before he reached the prime of his life. A life filled with love, hope, anger and forgiveness. The following sections are filled with information regarding his childhood, teen years and young adulthood. You as readers will learn from our heartfelt, yet flawed, actions. If this book helps one family out there, writing it will have been worth it. It is intended as a guide for all junior and senior high school students and their parents. Some teenagers do not have the ability to understand the consequences of their actions. Suicide; accidental or not, leaves a devastating and permanent scar on the loved ones the victims leave behind.

In the book History of a Suicide, Jill Bialosky quotes the psychiatrist Andrew Slaby as saying, Suicide attempts are really failed suicides.

She goes on to assert That statistically; about one-third of people that attempt suicide will repeat the action. My son attempted suicide a few weeks before he died. We did not know this until we read it in a letter that he left behind.

The following stages of mourning, first proposed by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying, are experienced by all people at one time or another. This mourning is a response to the loss of a loved one or one’s own terminal illness. The immediate reaction is denial and rationalization of our overwhelming emotions. Denial is our defense against the shock of the situation and assists us in coping with the pain of our loss.

These stages do not have to occur in the order presented here. I found myself going through some of these stages at the same time and others much later on. When we mourn, we spend various lengths of time in each stage, and experience some more intensely than others. The outcome, hopefully, is one of peace within oneself and in other family members affected by the death