Defender

By Wesley T. Calaway

Nothing ever goes Raymond Scotts way, and it seems that everything that can go wrong with him does. But he must go oneven though anger often consumes him with such ferocity that he fears a beast is emerging. Raymond must be his own defender.

With the help of his court-ordered sessions with psychiatrist Dr. Swatlosky, Raymond attempts to dissect all the reasons why he loses control on so many occasionsincluding the most recent incident, in which he assaulted a police officer who pulled him over. Raymonds biggest fear is that he will be committed, so he carefully screens everything he admits to his psychiatrist. But the beast that lives within him is telling him something elseto kill, mutilate, and destroy his adversaries. Now Raymond must decide if Dr. Swatlosky is a friend or foe and whether the drugs prescribed for him are causing more harm than good.

Raymond knows the whole world is watching his every movelistening, judging, and mocking him. But Raymond has no idea he is about to receive the shock of a lifetime. And no one is left to protect him, but him.



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• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 25, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462044283

Wesley T. Calaway

Wesley T. Calaway is studying to earn his degree in programming, engineering technology, and electronics. He currently lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he recently formed his own small, fiction-focused company. This is his first novel.

Book preview

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Bonus Short Story:

Soldier Gone

Two Days Left

Phone Call

On That Day

Coming Soon:

Defender 2

Chapter 1

Thoughts to Myself

Ray is the name I was given. I didn’t ask for it; the universe just thought to give it to me. My full name is Raymond Scott. Raymond is one of those names where it doesn’t fit with the face until you hear that person speak.

Hey, you wanna know something else? I think it’s funny: nothing can ever go my way; everything that could go wrong with me will. Murphy’s Law is my diligent adversary. A list, if one existed, would go on and on about what goes wrong in my life. I’m not going to begin to name all those things.

Today started off slow and bad; I can feel the heat begin to burn up my spine, up out the back of my collared, all white, button-down, long-sleeve shirt. Little stuff was beginning to agitate me. Right now my eyes are agitated—why, I don’t know. I put drops in them, but they are still almost blinding me, making my vision blurry. I take off my glasses because they aren’t helping right now. I notice that every time I get angered, my eyes flare up; maybe it’s because they are angry, too. It’s driving me crazy, along with my surroundings and everything else that’s adding to the fuel, making the heat from my neck turn to a boil, giving me a throbbing headache till the point where I see nothing but red fiery flames, and I just want to rip someone’s head off.

*     *     *

Argh!

Ray… Ray, a distant voice calls out. Ray. Focus, Ray, focus.

Yes, Ray answered.

Come back to me, Ray, the voice called.

Yes, I’m back. Ray opened his eyes.

You have to stay focused, Ray, when I’m talking to you. What were you mumbling just a few seconds ago? said Dr. Swatlosky.

Mumbling? I wasn’t mumbling anything.

Dr. Swatlosky sighed. Ray, let’s go over this again. Relax. Close your eyes and imagine five strands of chains are wrapped tightly around you, keeping you from moving. Each strand represents a struggle or obstacle in your life, and the only way to get loose is to bust through each—not using your strength or anger, but your…

Mind and patience, Ray finished the sentence.

Okay, so let’s begin. Starting with the first strand, what does it represent? Think hard about this.

It… represents what makes me want to stop living, said Ray.

What makes you want to stop living? asked Dr. Swatlosky.

The fact that I have so many problems, Ray replied.

How are you going to bust through that strand?

With the love for myself and the knowledge that I must keep going on.

So go ahead, bust through. Let go, Dr. Swatlosky said.

Ray inhaled while his eyes were still shut, and as he envisioned himself breaking through a chain, he exhaled.

Is it done? asked Dr. Swatlosky.

It’s done.

Good, very good. Now let’s move on to the next strand. This time I want you to tell me where the chain has you wrapped as well as what it represents. Tell me what it represents first.

It’s… it’s my anger…

Yes, Yes. Dr. Swatlosky nodded his head as he wrote down every comment, question, and response that Ray made.

My anger, Ray repeated, opening his eyes to look down at his hands as he stretched them out.

What about it, your anger? asked Dr. Swatlosky.

I feel it. I feel it taking over at times. Ray stared at his hands and then clutched them into fists. From there he went into a long train of thought.

*     *     *

It takes over… completely.

Strange—I can’t remember the last time that happened, but whenever I think about it, I start to tremble, like my mind and body fears that I may do something bad that I’ve already done before. But why? What the hell is going on with me? I’m just a normal guy who works nine to five every day and balances his checkbook. My favorite color is blue, and my favorite pastime is to sit and think. I really don’t have a violent background, but the doctor says that I have an anger problem; at times I have to admit that I do feel angry, like this morning on my way to work, driving on the road bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic at eighty-five miles per hour in rage because I was running late. I had overslept and was mad as hell at the fact that I had set my alarm clock, but mysteriously it never went off—matter fact it wasn’t set, and I know I set it.

Well, that started the fire, and the fire blazed over when I was pulled over by a cop. I tell ya, I don’t like cops; just something about them, and my mind totally rejects them. I don’t wanna have to deal with them in any situation, I can’t stand to be around them, ever! Teeth grinds, sharp nails dig deep into my skull, and my blood boils as I’m hassled by the law. This morning I was taken in—in handcuffs!—for previous unpaid speeding tickets.

Dr. Swatlosky posted my bail, and all charges were dropped due to the fact that I