Menopause: I'm SO Over It

By Laurie L Glass

In this humorous take on the subject, find out why Laurie would rather walk down Main Street wearing her underwear outside her pants than juggle multiple menopause symptoms for one more day. Get a laugh out of her rant attacks, quizzes, songs, poems, and more. You can find something funny even in the midst of the misery often associated with menopause. Use this handy e-book when you want to laugh instead of cry about this challenging stage of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Laurie L Glass
• Release date: Aug 16, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463015216

Laurie L Glass

Laurie Glass has had many poems, articles, and other works published in both print and online publications. She draws on her life experiences to encourage and inspire others. As someone who lives with a chronic illness, she has written about how to cope with one. Laurie has also written humorous pieces about menopause. She enjoys sharing her heart and her humor with others.

Book preview

(What happens when Jingle Bells meets menopause? Read on and see.)

My thinking now is slow,

hot flashes through the day.

These hormones really blow.

They make me not okay.

Acne, and mood swings,

and aching are a fright.

I cannot remember things

and cannot sleep at night.

Menopause,

menopause,

you make me not myself.

You can take this misery

and keep it to yourself.

It’s hard to stay alert;

this brain fog is so bad.

My frozen shoulders hurt.

It makes me feel so sad.

I think that I am screwed,

as this is now my plight.

I just don’t know what I should do.

These hormones are not right.

Menopause,

menopause,

you are such a curse.

I wish that I could kick your teeth

for you are just the worst.

It’s hard to swallow now.

My scalp is itchy, too.

My eyes are dry and how.

I’m shriv’ling up; it’s true.

It makes me want to shout,

in misery, all right.

So I just have to bag about

these dang hormones tonight.

Menopause,

let me pause

and tell you something here.

I think you suck; I hate your guts,

and you can kiss my rear.¹

I Do Not Like This Menopause

I do not like this menopause.

I do not like it all because

it makes me feel like I’m not me,

like someone I don’t want to be.

I do not like these moods that swing.

I do not like the angst they bring.

I do not like to feel so sad.

I do not like to feel so mad.

I do not like to feel so hot.

I do not like it, I do not.

I do not like to feel so drained.

I do not like this foggy brain.

I do not like it in the day.

I’d rather send it on its way.

I do not like it