Life Love Loss: A Mother’S Worst Nightmare the Loss of a Child

By Deborah DeMatthews

A Mother who's life that came crashing down around her in a blink of an eye!!! A Mother's Worst Nightmare....How does a Mother continue to go on living her everyday life, when her beloved son Joseph, was ripped right out of her heart and life.........


My Life With My Son

Nothing is Stronger than a Mother's Love





I cannot believe when I look up at you, and see a beautiful man that use to be my little boy.

I am always in awe, when I see the changes in you, but yet it saddens me because that part of

my life is over. Yet all the memories that I have, will still bring all the laughter, and this

warmness in my heart, and I will always have tears in my eyes. Since you where a baby up until

present time, you have always given me so much joy, and so many gifts, that I cannot even

count. I dont think you ever realized all the ones you gave me that where from within. We

made so many memories together, but the love you gave me, was something so special it will

last a lifetime.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456716134

Deborah DeMatthews

Deborah DeMatthews born and raised in New Jersey. She has been married to her husband Wayne, for almost 40 years, and they have two son's. The last to years of high school, she majored in Nursing and Business. Although, she has had many other career's through the years. Her passion has always been helping other's, and has been in the Medical Field since the young age of sixteen.

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Table of Contents

To all the Mothers with a broken Heart

In Memory of Joseph DeMatthews

Introduction

Losing a Child in My Own Words

My First Visit

Christmas 2005

Just a few sweet memories of my son Joseph.

Before we moved to Florida

How my life all started…

To All of The Branches of the Service

Thank you to last-memories.com

To all the Mothers with a broken Heart

This is to all the special Mother’s, that have a broken heart, and had a piece of them taken away. I know and feel exactly what you have been experiencing, about your love one. Always be reassured, that they are with you, and they will never be forgotten. Your true feelings, your unconditional love, will always carry on for them. These are the wonderful and caring Mother’s, that I have met through my son Joey’s, memorial site. I feel like they have been my friends, for years. I also know the child they lost. Just by reading their life story, about each and every special child, you will feel and be touched as I was. The Mom’s are so wonderful and giving, that is why these beautiful children, are so special.

These Mother’s never took away their uniqueness, they always let them be who they were, because they knew it would lead to their success. All their time and energy, made the most out of who they were. Always caring and considering, the feelings of those they loved. You would be the only one who had the right, to make those important decisions for them, as they were growing up. They did not let others influence them, by telling them how to think, feel or live their life. They are part of this universe, and it was not by accident but by design. They have a special place and purpose, and they trusted their creator. There are so many star’s in this big sky, and there is one with their name on it. They will claim that star, and let it shine for all their love ones.

For all the families, that are suffering, just remember that there is a circle of hands. These hands are held so tight, with one on the left, and one on the right, that has been broken. It surrounds this world with all of us that have such an ache in our hearts. They are having a very hard time carrying on with their daily lives, but you are not alone. As we know that this circle has many broken and empty spots. Always remember one day that circle will be bigger, and our love ones will be with us, filling those empty spots, and that circle will be complete once again.

In Memory of Joseph DeMatthews

I am writing and Dedicating this Book in Memory of my Son,

Joseph William DeMatthews

Joseph who is my youngest son, and the Love of my Life.

My son will always be alive in my heart, his name will always be spoken, and we will always see him with our eyes.

There are so many parents, living in this world today, that have lost someone they loved, and they may have been a child, a family member, and/or a friend you were very close to. They too are filled with so much pain and heartache. I don’t even know if anyone really knows, what you go through and how you feel, unless you have experienced it. There aren’t any words to explain it. Everyone has different emotions and feelings, that they struggle with in their own way.

As you read on, you will find through this whole experience, I use the word Why I kept repeating it Why my Joey I feel as if I will never get an answer. So many people have told me, I should entrust my tragedy, pain and turmoil, that I am going through, to God. And in return, He would reveal himself to me in tangible ways, as He strengthens me, for the rest of my days.

I find myself struggling with that statement, and say to myself, at this time I do not know what to believe. Other times my thoughts change because I question, than why has this happen to me.

I have always prayed, but now I find myself praying, even more than I have ever done before. To think it took something like this to bring me back, to a life I once was so dedicated to. Raising my children the same way I was raised, believing in the same faith, I did.

While my children were growing, and the years were passing by, it seems your life has taken different directions, and you feel as if you have abandoned your faith. When things seem to go wrong in your life, or you made the wrong choice, that is when we seem to pray to God, and ask Him for his help, and guidance.

We should not have to pray, or ask God for help when something is wrong in your life, or you made the wrong decision, that is not the way it works. We should pray daily, and not because you think if you pray, that all of your problems will be resolved.

Since this horrible tragedy has entered my life, I kept fighting with God, in my thoughts. I would be blaming Him, and asking Him, why, why. I have always believed in you, and have been faithful. Why did you let this happen? Why have you abandon me? I continued yelling and saying so many horrible things. I needed answers, with this hardship that has entered my life. I was having so many conflicts going on inside of me.

Someone once told me about an experience that they encountered, in their life sometime ago. As they began to tell me about a family that had encountered a tragedy, and they assumed that God was not present, in this trying time of their life. They continued saying that God, does not remove the difficulty and pain, that you are going through, but He will be with you through it all.

As they stated that God never promised anyone, a life without pain and suffering, but rest reassure He is with you. It is so difficult to think that way, because your mind is telling you, you feel the need to blame someone, scream at, yell at, be angry with, because these feelings are natural, when you are going through something that is so devastating to you. That you, yourself do not even understand.

Introduction

I have always believed and been ready to go, before either of my two son’s. That is how the progression/development of sequence events in life, are suppose to happen, in a specific order. In other words, life runs its course, and the children are usually expected to outlive their parents, or majority of the time. Of course I am not naïve of the fact, that there are many families, that have had this tragedy happen to them in their life. Their precious child that has been taken away from them. No one would really except that this would have ever happen to them.

There are so many families, who feels like they have been robbed, so unfairly in their life. Their special child, a child that was so deeply loved, and had so much more living to do. In a strange way, they feel like their life has ended. There are so many days they are aware when the reality sets in, that they cannot continue living, the life that they once did. They have lost the most precious thing, that came into their lives, their child that was taken from them to soon.

I would sometimes either hear or see it on the news, as they would be reporting about a horrible accident, that had happen to a baby, child, teenager or young adult. I would just say out loud Oh my God that poor family, what they must be going through.

I was so blessed to have two beautiful sons in my life, and I have always tried to keep them, safe and protected from such a cruel world. Since the day they were born, and put into my arms, I would just stare into their little faces for hours.

All of a sudden at that moment, you have these feelings, that overcome you immediately. Something that you have never felt before, this bond that has permanently and instantly, been set in you.