With the Death of a Son

By Jo Antley

With the Death of a Son is a sequel, sharing the tragic conclusion to the youngest of the four. This autobiography gives hope, comfort, and guidance to others grieving a life-wrenching loss. The events in this true story take place in the deep South, in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Alabama.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 2, 2010
• ISBN: 9781468592528

Jo Antley

Jo Antley, known in the ministry as Sis. Jo, was the author of Alone Outside the Walls, a true account of left alone to raise four children while her husband was in prison. How her children overcame and succeeded in life are featured in that book. With the Death of a Son is a sequel, sharing the tragic conclusion to the youngest of the four. This autobiography gives hope, comfort, and guidance to others grieving a life-wrenching loss. The events in this true story take place in the deep South, in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Alabama. Sis. Jo, a single Mom, worked, raised her children in the faith, spent one full year at Indian River Jr. College, and ten part-time years at Bible College. From that, in 19994, she founded Beacon Ministries, Inc., a prison ministry. She counsels, writes Bible studies, devotionals, and verse commentaries on Proverbs. This ministry is faith supported and reaches all 50 states. Beacon Ministries, Inc. P.O. Box 363 Sebring, FL. 33871-0363

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© 2010 Jo Antley. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 1/26/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4389-8599-2 (sc)

978-1-4685-9252-8 (ebk)

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Contents

Acknowledgements

Preface

The Storm Rages

With The Death Of A Son, Comes Paralyzing Shock:

With The Death Of A Son, Comes Functional Shock:

With The Death Of A Son, Comes The Funeral:

The Aftermath Of The Storm

With The Death Of A Son Come Doubts

With The Death Of A Son Come Unusual Thoughts

With The Death Of A Son, Come Memories

With The Death Of A Son,

Time Moves On While The Mind Stands Still

With The Death Of A Son, Come Setbacks

The Calm After The Storm

About The Author

Acknowledgements

* To my precious, five living children, Shelly-jo, Jeff, Johnny, Taragayle, and Jodi, for your presence, patience, understanding, and support to me as I grieve the death of your brother, Davey.

You are grieving also. I realized that then as I do now. We each had our own way of coping and getting a grip on things. We have all prayed for one another, and by God’s grace, we have come through this chapter of our lives - not over, just through.

Knowing that we will all see Davey again, has been a comfort in our pain. My prayers have also been for my grandchildren, his nieces and nephew, who were extremely close to their uncle, and had to deal with death at a young age.

* To my church family, who prayed for us and gave us financial help towards the funeral expenses. Thank-you for your patience with me as I sang the pain in my heart, and testified of how the Lord was working in my life through this tragedy.

* To my co-workers at Highlands County Transportation, who graciously gave $400 to me for the funeral expenses. That amount was awesome, and it touched the bottom of my heart. I love you. Thank-you so much.

* To our veterinarian at Sebring Animal Hospital, who refused to charge us for the boarding of our two dogs, while we were away for the funeral. That bill was over $200.

* To Music Funeral Home in Waycross, for your graciousness to allow us to pay the funeral as we could.

It is because of you all that we were able to pay off the funeral during the first year following Davey’s death.

* A special thanks to the Historical Society of Avon Park for donating the picture of Walker Memorial on the back cover, and its historical facts; and to the Florida Hospital - Heartland Division, Sebring, Florida.

* Also, a special thanks to my son-in-law, Rob Eddleman, for his unselfish hours to make the pictures in this book possible; and to my daughter, Taragayle, for helping me with other technical issues.

* A very heartfelt thanks to the family of Mrs. Lyman (Abbie) Hancock, who have been so kind and compassionate to allow me to use her poem, When I’m Gone. To Mr. Jim Devenport, in New Mexico, who put me in touch with her granddaughter, Salinda K. Jansson, in Colorado, who graciously gave permission to use her grandmother‘s poem. Thank-you, both, so much.

* * Especially to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Who has been right here with us during this whole ordeal, and continues to bear us up in His arms; Who continues to bring comfort to our healing hearts.

PREFACE

Dear Reader,

This book is written with a four-fold purpose in mind:

1. As a memorial to a precious son

2. To share God’s comfort with those who have also experienced the death of a son or daughter, or another very close loved one.

3. To stress the importance of obeying the will of God in our lives; and the eternal consequences our decisions can bring.

4. To remind us of how our losses, pain, and sorrow are used of the Lord to refine our perspective of this present world, and to make us a beautiful testimony to those who don’t know our Jesus.

In this book, I have shared some very intimate truths and emotions as I traveled through a journey of heartbreak, to peace and victory through my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, and through His promises to me in His Holy Word. This same Jesus understands and shares your deepest hurt; He weeps with you in your loss; He will travel through this raging storm with you, and tenderly bring you to the other side.

My prayer for you is that you will identify with something in this book, that will give you release and help bring your healing.

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforted us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble [anguish, burden], by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted." [II Corinthians 1:3-4]

Prayerfully and lovingly Yours,

Jo Antley

PLEASE NOTE:

Some names have been omitted or changed to protect the innocent and those in law enforcement.

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Davey loved animals, and especially dogs. Here he is loving

a German Shepherd pup.

THE STORM RAGES

…Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house: And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead;…Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped… [Job 1:18-20]

The most devastating and unforgettable thing in this life, is the message of death, when and how it comes.

For Job, it was a servant coming to him with the news that all seven of his sons were dead. For me it was a phone call at 12:24, Saturday afternoon, September 16, 2006, from my middle son, Johnny. Mama, he said, Davey committed suicide. He is deceased. You need to come. Knowing it would be hard for me to believe, he added, Here’s an officer.

An officer came on the line, I’m sorry, Ma’am, but what your son said is true.

The question is, how are we going to handle this message when it comes?

We can blame God; become angry and take it out on God; become embittered and curse God; turn to the false gods of alcohol and drugs; OR, we can lean on Jesus right now when we need Him most; trust His judgment; turn to His Word for comfort, direction, and strength; and call on our Christian family to pray for us at a time when we are too hurt and confused to pray as we ought.

Job: arose, and mourned in his grief as their custom was in his day - being: he tore his outer garment; and shaved his head. Then he fell down upon the ground, and worshipped. In other words, he fell down prostrate [flat], humbly beseeched and did reverence unto the God of heaven and earth.

Me: stunned, I replied some acknowledgment and hung up.

Something inside of me wanted to scream NOOOOOOoo!! at the top of my lungs. However, God’s still small voice in the back of my mind said, God’s Word has come to pass!"

My mind then went back 9 years earlier to September 1997, before Davey was released from prison that December, when the Lord gave me a prophetic dream that abruptly awoke me, and left me sobbing and horrified.

The dream went: Davey was living in Georgia near his brother, Johnny. The phone rang and Johnny was on the other end saying, ’Mama, Davey is dead.’ In my sleep, I experienced all the shock, the grief, the horror, and the realization that I would never see Davey again, nor would our family ever be all-together again. Things would never be the same on this earth again!!

The same morning of my dream, I was scheduled to visit Davey at the prison. I was so upset by how utterly real the dream was, that I couldn’t drive up there. My middle daughter, Taragayle, drove us up in my car that day, while I sat there distraught; crying and praying, ‘Lord, I need a promise!!’ This He gave me and I penned the words to the following song:

I‘m Gonna Pick This Body Up Someday.

1. "I’ve heard so many people say, we’re gonna lay this body down.

But, praise the Lord, the work’s not done with the body in the ground!

As Jesus in the tomb that day, with His grave clothes laid away;

I’m gonna pick this body up again, and shout ’Glory!’