A Child Without a Choice: A Small Girl in a Big Religion
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About this ebook
Lori Heffernon
Lori Heffernon embraces success. She is the proud owner of Madison's favorite couple’s spa, the Oasis Day Spa, which has been serving Madison for fifteen years with an amazing team of therapists. Lori is also a motivational speaker and a guest on radio and blog talk shows. She attributes her success to great mentors, a loyal team, and resolute self motivation. She enjoys networking, boating, traveling, personal development, wine, sushi, local Badger games, and spending time with the love of her life. Lori's mission is to motivate and inspire others to enjoy life, relax, and step into her spa world.
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A Child Without a Choice - Lori Heffernon
© Copyright 2010 Lori Heffernon.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.
Printed in the United States of America.
isbn: 978-1-4251-8762-0
isbn: 978-1-4269-4419-2 (ebk)
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For my mother, may you someday understand
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they’re worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it’s worth making
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
from I Hope You Dance
by Lee Ann Womack
Thanks to Lee Heffernon for being the best and most supportive father a girl could ever have, Shelly Murphy for being my lifelong friend, Melissa Siems for traveling the world with me and loving me like a sister (oh monkey street!), Devlin Holt for sharing some unforgettable experiences with me, and Nic Schilling for being the man dreams are made of: my partner, my friend, my love.
Contents
Section I 1
The Unfortunate Start
Chapter 1
A Pregnant Mom
Chapter 2
The End of Holidays
Chapter 3
Starting School
Chapter 4
Family Conflict
Section II 23
Trapped
Chapter 5
Preparing for Baptism
Chapter 6
High School Freedom
Chapter 7
Dangerous Rebellion
Chapter 8
Deception
Section III 37
Stepping out into the World
Chapter 9
Break Away
Chapter 10
Living Life Alone
Chapter 11
College Daze
Chapter 12
A Ride of a Lifetime
Section IV 53
The Cost of Freedom
Chapter 13
Making a Choice
Chapter 14
Clarity Brings Closure
Chapter 15
A Letter to End It All
Chapter 16
A Father’s Struggle
Section IV 67
Living Life at Its Best
Chapter 17
Finding Love
Chapter 18
Time Away
Chapter 19
A New Slice
Chapter 20
Days of My Life
Chapter 21
Devlin
Chapter 22
Make 2008 Great!
Chapter 23
I Am a Warrior
Chapter 24
The Ugly Truth
Chapter 25
A Child with a Choice
Section I
The Unfortunate Start
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Chapter 1
A Pregnant Mom
September 1, 1973. Nine months pregnant—swollen feet, sore back, and ready to burst—she impatiently sat on a large, hard forest green suitcase. The hallway seemed smaller today as she stared painfully at the paisley wallpaper that covered the walls. Apartment 101
was written in small print on the door. She longed for a soft bed and a bath inside.
It had been two days of waiting. He will give in, she is pregnant—right. She closed her eyes, hugged her Bible to her swollen chest, and thought about the week before.
August 20, 1973. Lee and Nancy had been married for a short year and a half; they lived in a small apartment in Janesville, Wisconsin, so Lee could work as an engineer at General Motors. It was a simple life, due to the fact that Nancy graduated with a degree in teaching, but after a nervous breakdown shortly after college, she was unable to work. So with one income, they had what they needed and were about to have a new addition to their family. Nancy was bored. She had read all the books on the shelf, there was never anything on TV, and Lee was always working. A few weeks prior, she got a knock on the door from some local ministers preaching God’s word door-to-door. Desperate, she let them in and eagerly accepted a weekly Bible study. Shortly after studying, Nancy decided to dedicate her life to God by baptism.
At first, Lee paid no attention to her recent new venture. He was happy she was out of bed and making use of her time. Then she told him she was dedicating her life to this religion. As Lee learned more about the religion, he liked it less. They did not celebrate anything, he learned: no birthdays, no Christmas, no holidays whatsoever. Lee even went so far as to lock her in the apartment when he went to work, taking her keys and telling her to stop studying with them. Nancy continued to study anyway.
A fight began. No child of mine will be raised in that religion,
Lee announced.
How dare you!
Nancy responded, I know what’s best for my children. I am doing this on Saturday.
Lee replied, If you step foot in that place, you are on your own.
Nancy yelled, You wouldn’t dare leave me. I’m having your child.
Lee answered, If you get baptized, that child will be given up for adoption. I want no part in this and we will not raise a child in that religion!
You don’t have to be a part of this, but I am going.
Suit yourself, but mark my words, you will be sorry!
Lee walked out the heavy front door and slammed it shut behind him. For a moment, Nancy stood stunned by his anger. Lee was an easy man—peaceful, somber. She had never seen him like this.
You must get baptized,
she told herself, it’s what you want. He will understand.
She marched to her bedroom and pulled out the large double-sided hardtop suitcase she’d had since childhood. She grabbed clothes, shoes, undergarments, a sweater, a swimsuit and, yes, her Bible. Nancy left a quick note stating she would be home on Sunday, no need to worry. Out the door she went, lugging her bags behind her on the way to the neighbor’s house.
Her Bible study group welcomed her and reminded her she was doing the right thing.
Saturday morning came quickly. She awoke in an unfamiliar bed, her bladder full. The baby was kicking hard and she tried to quiet it by sweetly talking and massaging her growing belly. No use. This baby had a mind of its own already. Dressed and out the door, the family Nancy had been studying with piled into the station wagon and headed to the big assembly. The parking lot was filling up fast; hundreds of cars were already parked.
Nancy slowly walked to the front door. The entrance was beautiful, not like the Lutheran church she had grown up in, full of stained glass and statues. This was classy with chandeliers and leather chairs in the lobby. She was so excited to be here! This was the first day of her new life dedicated to a higher power.
She walked slowly to the main arena where a stage was set in the center of thousands of plush chairs. Her eyes were immediately drawn to a small pool room off to the left of the hall. Her hand slowly moved to the duffle bag that protected her swimsuit and Bible. It’s almost time, she thought.
Her daydream was interrupted by the growl of her stomach. The smell of fresh muffins was overpowering. Nancy headed to the giant cafeteria; tables lined the room, while hundreds of people sat laughing, hugging, and enjoying each other’s company. I am in the right place, she thought, the perfectly right place. A small muffin and some orange juice was all she could afford. The assembly was about to start. Nancy sat with her friends, eagerly awaiting the baptism.
After lunch and what seemed like an eternity, it was time. She had gone to a private changing room with several others; their faces seemed blurry as they all hurried to get into their swimsuits and towels. An older woman went first, and then it was her turn. The tile felt cold on her feet as she took one step onto the pool room floor; she looked up to see glass walls and hundreds of people clapping for her. Her knees went weak. A gentleman reached for her hand. Willingly, she accepted it and took another step toward the pool.
It’s time to dedicate your life and that of your unborn child to God. Are you ready?
the gentleman asked.
Yes,
she responded, without hesitation. Yes! And she proudly walked down the pool stairs to meet the water. She plugged her nose as two people gently dipped her down into the water.
You and your child have been baptized in the name of Christ; you may arise to a life of dedication to one God.
Goosebumps covered her body although the water was warm; they were from the excitement of what was to come. Nancy walked alone to the stairs that returned to the changing room. She held one hand on her pregnant belly and whispered, We did it! We are now dedicated to God!
At that exact moment, her unborn child became a child without a choice. That baby was me!
Chapter 2
The End of Holidays
Nancy awoke to the sound of keys jingling in the hallway. She must have fallen asleep. A familiar face walked toward her, and she struggled to get up.
Please, please let me in, Lee,
she begged.
Lee shook his head: I told you there would be consequences. I am not happy with the choices you’ve made.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she begged, "Please, I really