Bootstraps: A Woman's Guide to Personal Power in a Victim-Driven World

By Sue Kipperman

"Sue Kipperman offers us a light to follow. We are skillfully guided through the stories of women who found their true voices and awakened a dynamic belief in themselves. They were able to step out of abusive and victimizing circumstances and achieve life-saving and meaningful futures."

"Sue shares with us lessons learned and actions taken by these women. She also reveals her own life's journey. By the time we finish the book, Sue's wise guidance is resonating in our ears and opening our hearts to the power we have in order to change even the direst situation. Halfway through the book, you'll believe you can do whatever is necessary to turn your situation into one that is more in keeping with your joy and passion. I encourage you to read this book and take it to heart."

--Meredith L. Young-Sowers, D.Div
Executive Director, the Stillpoint School of Integrative Life Healing
Author, Agartha, Angelic Messenger Cards, Wisdom Bowls, and Spirit Heals

"Sue Kipperman has drawn upon her life's journey and that of others who have overcome major challenges to write this compassionate, insightful, and inspirational book. Each of us will find chapters of our own story resonating here. It is a must-read handbook for any woman (or man) who is ready to break out and find the true path to self-fulfillment and undeniable happiness of spirit."

--Frank D. Murphy, President
TotalMedia Communications, Inc.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 27, 2008
• ISBN: 9780595889280

Sue Kipperman

Having helped hundreds of clients empower themselves, Sue Kipperman,?ordained minister, Life Coach, and former corporate executive?shares poignant stories and commentaries of women who have shattered old patterns of victimhood and broken new ground to create the lives they have always wanted.

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Copyright © 2008 by Sue Kipperman

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ISBN: 9780595446018 (pbk)

ISBN: 9780595695140 (cloth)

ISBN: 9780595889280 (ebk)

Contents

A Rabbi’s Message

In Gratitude

Our Deepest Fear

Foreword

Preface

Your Journey

Introduction

Victimhood and Your Health

The Universal Law of Attraction

Path of Passion

Your Guide

The Path to Personal Freedom: Overview

The Path to Personal Freedom

Ten Sacred Insights on the Path

to Personal Freedom

Core Actions:

From Victimhood to Personal Power

Ladder Ladies of Connection and Compassion

Prayer of Gratitude

Women’s Stories and Commentaries

Introduction to Women’s Stories

Debbie: Choosing Deliverance

Angela: Connecting With the Divine

Sarah: Dancing to Personal Freedom

Linda: Finding Her Passion at 51

Pat: Embracing Life After Death

Anna: Choosing Survival

Dee: Surviving Suicide

Michele: Breaking the Chains of Hatred

Sue: Finding My Bootstraps

Epilogue

Appendices

Charity and Compassion

Contributors and Resources

About the Author: Sue Kipperman

A Rabbi’s Message

Bootstraps: A Woman’s Guide to Personal Power in a Victim-Driven World, the powerful account by Sue Kipperman, does just what its name implies. It empowers women (and men, too, for that matter) to reach down, grab on, and pull themselves up and out of the rut of sadness and self-pity that has played havoc with their lives. 

For those of us, myself included, who have looked back on life events with resentment and blame, and for those of us who have worn the crown of Victim Queen proudly—and for far too long—Kipperman’s book challenges us to work with Universal Laws, Sacred Insights, and Core Actions necessary for making change.  

Or, in the words of the recovery community, to walk the talk. And Kipperman walks with us. From simple activities such as a Passion Board, a collage-like activity that marries visualization with positive universal energy, to a more complex analysis of life’s lessons and the part each of us plays in our own misery, Kipperman makes skillful use of personal stories to emphasize that willingness coupled with action are the keys to a new, productive, and happy life. 

As I read page after page I was struck by how deeply one’s victim status is shaped by the negative messages we give ourselves and the negative perceptions about ourselves we develop, foster, and feed.

As the daughter of an Italian immigrant, whom I now understand did the best he could do at parenting, I see myself and my own struggles in Kipperman’s words. Sue reminds me that unloading the baggage is an important first step but not enough. Ultimately more action is needed to open, examine, and toss out the rubbish that we’ve dragged with us for years. Who knows why our parents, siblings, spouses, children, bosses, or co-workers did what they did? And Sue tells us that it doesn’t matter. 

Instead, this insightful book gets to the heart of emotional recovery. Kipperman’s words give us just what we need to get the job done. Bootstraps is a fascinating and remarkable—but more important—a motivating read.  

Rabbi Barbara Aiello

Serrastretta (Calabria), Italy

Rabbi Barbara Aiello is the first progressive and first woman rabbi in Italy. She organized the first active synagogue in 500 years since the Inquisition. She also established the Italian Jewish Cultural Center of Calabria to help Italians and Italian Americans discover and embrace their Jewish roots. Through workshops, classes, bar and bat mitzvah preparation, and interfaith weddings, Rabbi Aiello offers unique opportunities for celebration and education in southern Italy.

Dedicated to women of all races and beliefs everywhere: Your lives of courage and conviction continue to help every one of us pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.

In Gratitude

To my many brave clients and dear friends: Your stories are deeply touching and I am honored to share your courage. Thank you all.

To Karen Perrella, the artist with the magic touch, who so beautifully portrayed our front-cover heroine in her boots, our connected ladder ladies, and the victim-to-personal-power graphic. Your artistic talents know no bounds.

To Sandy Chase, my tireless editor, who truly co-authored this book and encouraged me to keep tweaking the manuscript when I thought I was really done. You are the best!

To Frank Murphy, my dear friend and President of TotalMedia Communications, Inc., whose company manages careers in television and radio; develops programming; and conducts strategic planning for companies looking to extend their brands to other media. Thank you for believing in me.

To Marianne Williamson: I’m indebted to you for allowing me to cite your dynamic quote, Our Deepest Fear. This excerpt from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles summarizes why I wrote this book.

To Dr. Robert Lang, one of the finest physicians I have been fortunate to have worked with in the last 20 years: Thank you for writing your eloquent foreword to this book and for dedicating yourself to helping women heal. Your guidance has encouraged thousands of women to realize their personal power in the quest for self-healing.

To the love of my life, Bob, who continues to be my Rock of Gibraltar—giving me the freedom to find my writing voice and my spiritual space.

To my mother, who at 86 epitomizes the image of pioneer woman. You are always willing and ready to take on a new challenge, regardless of your age. You are a wonderful example, Mom.

To my daughter, Cathy: You have not only literally dreamt the cover, content, and title of this book, but you have also lovingly pushed me to connect with my highest dreams. Thank you for sharing your personal power.

To my son, Chris, who has always connected with his greatest potential: You inspire me every day to be more than I thought possible. Thank you for your loving encouragement to keep following my dreams of personal passion.

To my stepchildren, Lynne, Wendy, and Todd, and to all my daughters-in-law and sons-in-law: Amy, Koleen, Mike, Greg, and Chris; and beautiful grandchildren: Thank you for being unique, wonderful people, who exemplify richly-lived lives.

I dearly love you all and am so blessed to have you in my life.

Sue Kipperman

May 2008

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.¹

—Marianne Williamson

Foreword

It is an honor to be asked to write a foreword for a book, and even a greater honor to be asked to write a foreword for a great book. Bootstraps: A Woman’s Guide to Personal Power in a Victim Driven World has distilled the essence of many millennia of wisdom into an eminently useful guide for today’s world.

The wisdom in the phrase the power to heal is within is no less valid today than when it was first realized before the dawn of recorded history. Change, as Sue Kipperman so deftly reveals, is one of the keys that opens the door to healing. We have the ability to create our future to receive our birthright: a magnificent life.

If we have the courage to put the key of change into a new door, we can create a new future, but if we put the key into the same door as we have done in the past, we only re-create the past. The French have a wise aphorism for the latter: The more things change, the more they become the same. Sue gives both tools and examples to help us change our healing path.

Many life issues tell us that we must change: Most of them revolve around distress in our personal relationships or our career path. Our relationships are usually formed in childhood with our birth family. To deal with difficulties, we learn survival techniques that we unconsciously repeat in the future with those who (unconsciously) remind us of the people we lived with in the past. Sue exemplifies this point by showing how someone who came from an abusive family unwittingly gets into an abusive marriage. Sue gives us several examples of issues and skillfully discusses how to deal with them.

As a physician, and more important, as a patient, it is gratifying to see several examples of illness as an agent of change. So often we are told in our culture that illness is not our responsibility: We need to go the experts to get fixed and we must passively watch and hope for the best.

Hope for the best? A resounding YES! Passive? A resounding NO! We give up our power if we do not take responsibility for all our problems. Responsibility means literally: respond with ability. Yes, we must be open to any and all healing modalities that will help us.

This book