The Poverty of Patriarchy

By Tricia Johnson

The Poverty of Patriarchy is a brief look at the spiritual and emotional distortion of relationships through patriarchy, resulting in chaos and abuse in the lives of women. As Christian women, we are Daughters of Abraham with full rights and privileges of family-of-God members, with an inheritance incorruptible as well as unfettered, unhindered access to God Almighty, Creator of all things. Yet, many times in the Christian world, women are treated as less...as though we have less to offer, less value and less access. Women certainly have less influence in the church as the vast majority of evangelical churches don’t “allow” women to serve in leadership capacities. Women in the Christian world are subject to rules and regulations made by men, but not for men. These rules and regulations lead to expectations that are stripping women of their personal relationship with God, putting a barrier between them and Jesus and leading to abuse. Such abuse is rampant in Christian marriages and within the church and other Christian ministries.
In The Poverty of Patriarchy, Tricia Johnson makes observations that reveal many areas where women are truly left in various states of poverty, including spiritual, financial, and emotional poverty. With over 31 years of full-time ministry experience with her husband of 38 years and having raised eight children – five sons and three daughters –all who love the Lord Jesus Christ, Tricia’s insights are a breath of fresh air for women who feel the oppression in their churches and marriages today.
From learning to leave their husbands alone to claiming Jesus without a filter, this ebook is a much-needed encouragement for women, and men, across the world. Jesus is yours....no filters, no hesitation, no doubt. Pursue Him with gusto.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tricia Johnson
• Release date: Feb 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370108251

Book preview

Introduction

I literally wrote part of this book by hand….as in longhand….as in, with my right hand, because I fractured my left thumb and could not type with the thumb brace on. At the time I started writing this project down, it was imperative to get it written down, so I sat down in my studio and wrote it out longhand. It grew from a few sheets of a legal pad to pages clipped together, then to sections clipped together, then to extra pages of notes added to each section….all in longhand.

That’s how important this project is.

That’s how eager I am to get this information out there.

And sometimes that’s how my writing hits me. When it hits, I have to write, even if I can’t type or write in my usual way.

My husband and I had been discussing this topic for months, but not in the context of a book. One day, after a particularly difficult phone conversation with a wife who was at her wit’s end over her marriage, he and I were discussing this topic – patriarchy – again and he said, So when are you going to write the book?

The book? I asked.

Yes, he said, The Poverty of Patriarchy.

I said, Really? You’d go that far?

He replied with, What does patriarchy leave women with? Not much of anything, really. Without a personal relationship with Christ that is not shadowed by a husband. Without a voice in her church. Without much say in her own marriage. It leaves women in poverty emotionally and spiritually….and often financially.

He’s right, that’s exactly what it does. I could add to his list, too. I would add that patriarchy leaves women without an avenue to use their God-given gifts and abilities in their local church, it leaves women without the resources to look after herself in the event of her husband’s death or if he’s incapacitated.

From the outside looking in, one would think my husband and I have a patriarchal marriage. He’s the breadwinner, I stay home with the kids. But, we’ve never operated on a patriarchal basis. I’ve never looked to him to lead my spiritual life. We have made all family/relationship decisions together. I’ve had my own private bank account for years (as well as my own tube of toothpaste). I never practiced the wait till your father gets home tactic with the kids. We have been a team from the start, each with an equal say in everything to do with our family and marriage. I have never looked to him to lead me spiritually. I have pursued Jesus on my own terms at all times. He has never attempted to lead me, either, as he never saw this as his role. We work to edify one another. We recognize and appreciate each other’s wisdom and input.

I once realized how others viewed us when we were, together, counseling a couple who had never established the teaching of God’s Word in their home. We advised them to start a family Bible time at dinner or another convenient time when everyone was together. The wife asked me if she could read the Bible or pray at these times. I thought it was a rather odd question and said, Of course! Why not? She said that since her husband was the husband, she thought he should do all that leading. I told her that he certainly does not have to always be the one reading or praying. Later, I realized she thought we operated that way; that my husband always led and the kids and I only operated under the format of following him. That is not how we operate in our marriage. He is not the sole leader in our family. We are a team and operate as such. He and I are co-leaders. This woman and I were saying similar words but using different dictionaries.

Being a team, we are equal. We have equal say in all things, whether it’s buying a couch or going on vacation. Smaller things are not subject to each other’s input. For example, when I’m home with the kids, I don’t call him at work and ask if I should do this or that with the kids, I simply do what is best for the kids and the home. If I want to go shopping, run errands, stop for coffee, etc., I do it. Likewise, if he’d rather buy lunch one day rather than take a lunch, he doesn’t get my input, he just does what he wants. He schedules his own appointments, etc.

Speaking of buying a couch, this has always called for some compromise. If we buy a couch that fits me, he cannot sit comfortably on that couch. He’s 6’ tall and robust. I’m under 5’ tall and petite. If my feet can reach the floor, you can bet the couch will be too small for him to get comfortable. It’s not a problem, though, because I generally tuck my feet under me when I sit to relax anyway, so my feet don’t ever have to reach the floor. We buy couches that fit him best because that’s what’s best for both of us. There is