From Duty to Delight: Sexual Intimacy for the Whole Woman

By Eileen Scipione

Tired of just doing your duty in the bedroom? This book is for you. Do you want to have all (and I mean all) that God designed for a wife's sexual pleasure? This book is very practical. Do you want calming tools to bring down your levels of fear and anxiety when intimate with your husband? This book gives step-by-step instructions for reducing fear and worry and even wrong attractions.

Wonder how to strengthen your core muscles for better orgasms? There is a chapter for you. Ever consider what foods to eat for improved sexual responses? Again, a chapter by a registered dietitian spells it out.

If you are single, widowed, or divorced, there is a chapter for you too. Just go straight to the last chapter, which guides you into greater spiritual and emotional intimacy with your Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.

The topic of sexual intimacy is taboo in the church. Women who struggle with sexual dissatisfaction do no know where to get help. From Duty to Delight: Sexual Intimacy for the Whole Woman is a treasure trove of biblical knowledge and wisdom for the church. In this powerful and passionate book, biblical counselor Eileen Scipione takes us on a necessary and adventurous biblical journey to teach Christian women how to develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually into becoming more fulfilled sexual beings.

Shannon Kay McCoy

Eileen Scipione offers a biblical approach to sexuality, openly discussing topics that seem off-limits to many. She unapologetically offers wisdom that many young women wished their mothers had openly discussed with them. Contrasting the cultural misconceptions of monogamous sexual union as drab and dull, she provides the beauty of biblical sexual intimacy filled with pleasure and purpose.

Dr. Dale Johnson, Director of ACBC

About The Author

The author is a committed follower of Christ and an experienced biblical counselor. She was a pastor's wife for several years, and then her husband George helped launch CCEF. Eileen was a pioneer in the homeschooling movement in New Jersey and also in home birthing. She has five grown children and two grandchildren.

She earned her BS in education for the visually impaired and also earned her ThM in biblical counseling at Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary.

A conference and retreat speaker for many years, Eileen loves to use her gifts for those who want biblical and practical help for spiritual, emotional, and even physical challenges.

Now a widow, she senses a call on her life to sharing the secrets of her own enriched and intimate marriage of forty-seven years.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638446903

Book preview

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From Duty to Delight

Sexual Intimacy for the Whole Woman

Eileen Scipione

ISBN 978-1-63844-689-7 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63844-690-3 (digital)

Copyright © 2021 by Eileen Scipione

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Endorsements

The topic of sexual intimacy is taboo in the church. Women who struggle with sexual dissatisfaction do not know where to get help. From Duty to Delight: Sexual Intimacy for the Whole Woman is a treasure trove of biblical knowledge and wisdom for the church. In this powerful and passionate book, biblical counselor Eileen Scipione takes us on a necessary and adventurous biblical journey to teach Christian women how to develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually into becoming more fulfilled sexual beings.

From Duty to Delight is a comprehensive resource guide that seeks to elevate the value of female sexual satisfaction in marriage. This book is a place of insight, encouragement, and challenge for the body of Christ. It delves deeply into the history of the church’s attitude on female sexuality. Each chapter translates biblical theology into practice through effective and practical discussion, questions, and reflections that are grounded in compassion and biblical wisdom.

Throughout the book, the reader will understand how the Bible is balanced on the purpose of sexual intimacy. The author’s conviction and compassion for seeing women become whole in their sexuality is evident through each topic covered from negative body image and sexual abuse to embracing their identity in Christ as the flawless bride of Christ.

From Duty to Delight is highly instructive, comprehensive, practical, and innovative. It is an invaluable resource to pastors, counselors, and the mature Christian. I highly recommend this practical resource as a must read for Christian women and the church as a whole.

Longing for heaven,

Shannon Kay McCoy, MABC, ACBC

Biblical Counseling Director, Valley Center Community Church

Council Member, Biblical Counseling Coalition

Author of Help! I’m A Slave to Food

https://www.shannonkaymccoy.com

http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org

In her book From Duty to Delight, Mrs. Scipione uses her many years of experience as a biblical counselor, a pastor’s wife, and a woman to tackle with wisdom an area where many are afraid to tread. For those of us for whom sex is a topic shrouded in guilt, pain, and/or obligation; for those of us who have heard all our lives what sex is not supposed to be; for those of us who know that there is something wrong with our understanding of sex but do not know how to move forward, Mrs Scipione’s book is a breath of fresh air. She reminds us, or perhaps teaches for the very first time, what an amazing thing godly sex is and can be in our lives. This book has been a blessing in my marriage, and I recommend it without reservation to any and all comers.

Dr. Joyce Hoot

Board certified dermatologist, wife of Pastor Andy Hoot

Eileen Scipione has written a helpful book that bases sexual intimacy on the teaching of Scripture, which gives women a foundation for knowing and bonding with their spouses. Drawing upon her experience of a happy marriage, she helps women enhance this important aspect of marriage.

Caroline Newheiser

Master of Christian Counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary–Charlotte

Assistant Coordinator of Women’s Counseling

I think it will be very helpful to many women. So congratulations! You’ve done well.

Elyse Fitzpatrick

Author of 30+ books, Speaker, Podcaster

I cannot wait to get this book into the hands of women and men in my church! Mrs. Scipione has boldly and wisely compiled a work like no other. It is a unique and digestible blend of theological, historical, and practical information on a topic that many theologians, pastors, and church members are afraid to approach. For each respective subtopic, Mrs. Scipione and her contributing writers bring to light the most important information and lessons that the church needs to hear in our day, and in profoundly concise packaging. As a pastor and biblical counselor who is always looking for the most powerful page-for-page and bang-for-buck biblical resources to share with an extremely busy congregation, I know that I have finally found my go-to resource for this topic in Sexual Intimacy for the Whole Woman.

Andy Hoot, Discipleship Pastor at Mosaic Brookline Church, Boston, Massachusetts

Eileen Scipione offers a biblical approach to sexuality, openly discussing topics that seem off-limits to many. She unapologetically offers wisdom that many young women wished their mothers had openly discussed with them. Contrasting the cultural misconceptions of monogamous sexual union as drab and dull, she provides the beauty of biblical sexual intimacy filled with pleasure and purpose. When the spirit of the age suggests that a person’s identity is a creation of one’s sexual preferences, Scipione helps the reader to understand that identity is rooted in union with Christ that overflows into the intimacy of one’s fleshly union with their spouse.

Dr. Dale Johnson

Director of ACBC (formerly NANC)

Preface

Throughout this book, when I use pronouns, I will often use feminine pronouns. This is not because men do not suffer from many of the issues discussed in this book but because more women will be reading it. This is especially the case in the chapter concerning how abuse/oppression impacts a marriage. I do not want any of my readers to think that men are not also victims of every type of abuse/oppression.

Notice also that I use the phrase abuse/oppression instead of abuse as a stand-alone term. The reason is that the Scriptures use the word oppression, not the commonly used term abuse. The meanings are close enough to be used in a similar manner. When a critic asks me where the Bible speaks of abuse, I invite that person to study the way the word oppression is used in Scripture. It is not an open-and-shut case, but they are close in usage.

Acknowledgments

This book started as an idea my husband had five years ago. I was speaking publicly at women’s conferences on the subject, and he strongly urged me to write a book.

I must thank my sister, Faith Keim, for her chapter on nutrition, as well as her prayer and encouragement. I also owe much to Felicia Lauer for her expertise in core strength.

Elyse Fitzpatrick gave me publishing ideas. In addition, Blanca Schofield kept telling me that widowhood did not exempt me from finishing what I had started.

Tom Reid, a librarian for many years at Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary, gave guidance on footnoting. Many thanks to him.

Margaret Swait read my manuscript and gave me several great ideas.

I genuinely thank the many other friends and colleagues who have prayed fervently for this endeavor.

Craig and Sue Rowe gently challenged me on my truth statement, what words to eliminate, and which to keep. My gratitude goes to both of them.

Fred and Alaine Hofland gave both theological and counseling clarifications.

How women whose relationship with God is informed by the Bible can develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually into a more fulfilled sexual being.

Introduction

My goal for this book is to give you the knowledge and the tools to bring more sexual intimacy and pleasure into your marriage. Highly religious couples report more satisfaction than secular couples do, but my experience as a counselor for many years has taught me that the word satisfaction has a broad range of meanings.

Right up front, the reader should know most of this book about sex is written by a widow. Although a recent widow, nevertheless, this author is a widow. What qualifies me to write on this subject is the fact that I was joyfully married for forty-seven years to a man who respected and adored me. And we were firmly committed to the sufficiency and inerrancy of the Scriptures of the Old and New Testament.

He and I traveled all over the world teaching biblical counseling to people looking for answers to their problems, many of them sexual challenges in marriage. We team-counseled more couples than I can count.

Since 2000, I personally counseled many women and girls, usually, but not exclusively from church backgrounds. The majority were married or wanted to be married. Quite a few were the victims of sexual abuse or domestic violence. It was not uncommon to have married women complain that their husbands were not interested in them sexually.

Others were exasperated that their husbands wanted sex way more frequently than they did. Struggles with masturbation were a common presenting problem. Gender confusion was also an occasional presentation problem, although I believe never the core issue.

Although the majority of married women were not married when they became sexually involved with the man they would eventually marry, the preponderance was shockingly ignorant about critical details of how God created the female body. Even women married for decades did not know the