Fireflies

By Marie Minnich

Brilliant Casey Cavanaugh is a poet, a writer and a junkie. She yearns to overcome her addiction and pursue her dream of becoming a professor of literature. She struggles night and day, but is losing the deadly battle. Her twin brother Chaz wants to save her. But he's powerless over her demons. As Casey succumbs to her addiction, Chaz faces his own hard choices. Set in contemporary Los Angeles, there's an opioid crisis sweeping the country, and Casey and Chaz are caught in the maelstrom.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marie Minnich
• Release date: Sep 25, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370477722

Marie Minnich

Marie Minnich is a creative entrepeneur and author. She resides in Palm Springs, California with her mini-schnauzer, Max. You can typically find Marie hiking in the foothills of the San Jacinto mountains with Max, shooting digital photography and dreaming of other worlds.

Book preview

Prologue

Summers we fly to Chicago to see our grandpa. He lives on the shores of Lake Michigan, a lake that seems as big as the ocean. Evenings we run after flittering fireflies that illuminate the dusk. There are no fireflies at home, Los Angeles, and we’re entranced. We have jars with holes cut in the lids. After a while I set them free. It bothers me to see them trapped.

"Fly away, fly away, fly away, little firefly" I sing. Chaz thinks it’s silly to set them free, but I just laugh. These are the best days of my life.

We are born together. You come out four minutes ahead of me. You breathe oxygen first. Is it those first breaths that determine our destiny? You are first in life, always. But I am first to die.

-Casey

-Poetry Slam-

-Casey,

mash up with Jabberwocky

by Lewis Carroll-

-addiction-

I’m your addiction. I’m a slithy tove and I gyre and gimble through your veins. I’m your craving. All mimsy are the borogroves. I live in your brain. I live in your bloodstream. And the mome raths outgrabe. I own you. You’re my slave. I’m the master. I’ve owned you since first you put the needle in your arm when you were thirteen years old. The needle goes in deep. The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! You must obey. When I say use, you must use. When I say indulge, you must indulge. When I say steal, you will steal. When I command, obey. If you don’t fulfill me, I’ll make you sick. I’ll make you sicker than you have ever been in your life. I’ll make you die if you don’t satisfy me. I’ll make you die anyway. When I show up, I look like a beast. The frumious Bandersnatch. I am an ugly beast with eyes on fire who is squirming around in your brain and down your veins and into your precious pumping heart.

Feed me. Love me. Eat me. Obey. Sacrifice everything for me. Worship me. In return I’ll give you nothing. I’ll take everything from you. I’ve taken over. I’ll take your youth, your beauty, your dignity, and your pride. I’ll leave you homeless, destitute, pock marked, ugly. Everyone you ever love will turn against you. I’m your addiction. I’m all powerful. In the end, I’ll take your precious life. The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, comes whiffling through the tulgey wood, I’m in your bloodstream, I burble as I come. Only then will I be satiated. I’ll dance a leering victory dance on

your grave.

-willpower-

Crush you my enemy. Long time the manxome foe he sought -- I crush you. I’m the conqueror. I’m the vanqestidor. One, two! One, two! And through and through. I’m the addiction slayer. I’m fighting back! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

I’m one in a million who can smash you. I’ll never obey you. When you come knocking, I’ll slam the door shut. When you come looking for me, I’ll be so well hidden you’ll never find me. I’ll knock you dead. You’re just a sniveling, wormy thing. You have no power over me. I’ll cut your head off. He left it dead, and with its head, He went galumphing back.

Every day, every minute of my life I’ll be on the lookout for you. I’m the power here. I’m in control. I’m in control of my body and mind. Tremble at my greatness. Seek out the weak ones. Not me. I’m different. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’ I’m free!!!!! He chortled in his joy. I’m strong. Flee from me, motherfucker. You can’t have me.

II

Applause. The crowd stands on their feet. Whistles and claps. Great poem. More. We want to hear more from you.

It’s a dream come true for Casey. Her cheeks flushed, eyes shining, she leaves the stage. Best night of her life. What a cool reception. Her twin brother, Chaz, waits backstage.

"Great job Case! They love you!"

"yeah?"

"Yeah. I’m so proud of you."

Chapter One

-Who will be there at the last moment of your last arriving,

at your side when death rushes you?-

-Casey, overdose age 21

Sirens. Blue and red lights. Squad cars. The nice red Prius is in the ditch. There’s dirt in my mouth. My shoulder is throbbing. I choke on vomit. Someone holds my head. He tilts my head back, clears the passage.

‘Miss, miss, can you hear me?’

‘Loud and clear’ I think.

‘Probably going back to jail. Probation revoked. Possession of narcotics. Driving on a suspended license. Effing idiot. Just let me die already.’

He talks to the cop.

She’s okay. A junkie. Here’s the needle. Not gonna overdose.

Book her, I hear the cop say to someone.

‘Holy mother of god, what county am I in? Am I going to jail? More sirens. Ella’s car. It’s being towed for sure. I stole it. Took the keys while she peacefully slept. She just had it washed today. The red Prius. It’s her pride and joy. She trusts me. Never trust a junkie. She doesn’t deserve this. I’m the biggest effing loser in the whole world. Making a dope run. Just let me sleep. Forever. God, the pain. Just give me my drug. Please.’

II

Everything’s upside down and backwards. Through the looking glass. Here I sit in county jail with tracks on my arms and dirt in my mouth. My heart’s desire is to be a professor of literature at Berkley. That’s not happening anytime soon now. Tuesday I’ll go in front of the judge. Until then it’s cold turkey. I feel the dope sickness coming. Unless my boyfriend bails me out. I bang on the cell door.

Please send me to the infirmary. For the love of god, please.

There must be twenty of us crammed into a cell meant for four.

Shut up sugar, says a kindly black woman. She puts her arm around me.

You’ll get the guards mad. Just shut up.

I really have the dope sickness. Dizzy. Vomit. My shoulder is in hell. A guard comes.

Casey Cavanaugh? Someone just posted bail.

Thank god. I stumble. I’m unsteady. Out to outtake. There’s Chaz. Oh my god, it’s my older brother. Older by four minutes. My twin. My beloved straight arrow. How did you know, Chaz?

"Mom got a call from the tow company. Her car is impounded. So I called the hospitals