Paranoia: The Story of Jenni

By H. Eugene

What do you get when you mix a drama, suspense, and thriller with a splash of controversy? 
 
You get another unforgettable brain ride from H. Eugene.  
 
Paranoia tells the story of what happens when you listen to the voices in your head. For Jenni, these voices might not only destroy him, but also us. 
 
Many people are able to relate to common life experiences. Some people experience life from varying degrees. Very few enjoy a certain wealth of control over it. Only one has the power to create and end it. He is The Greatest and he speaks to only one man...Jenni 
 
Welcome to the world of Paranoia and Jenni. 
 
For far too long, the strong have walked circles around the weak. The strong have now moved on. Meanwhile, the weak continue to walk in the same vicious circle. They can't find their way out...But, Jenni did. He will be weak no longer. And now, the circle will be broken. But, at what cost?

• Language: English
• Publisher: H. Eugene
• Release date: Sep 25, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386554707

H. Eugene

H. Eugene is: A writer, author, video game player, sushi/pizza/burger junkie, powerlifter, wannabe Captain America, wannabe bowler, and father of three. He was born, raised, and still resides in the city of Detroit. Outside of writing, his career has span 25+ years in various facets of the customer service industry. His penchant for writing developed at a very early age, as he began writing stories while he attended middle school. After winning two first place prizes for poetry in high school, the fuse was lit. He hopes that through his writing, he can reach and affect many. What you will find in his books is a renewed and fresh perspective of storytelling. For more information, please visit his website www.InkThriller.com

Book preview

Prologue

A re you going to kill me? asked the Network President.

No. That would be a complete waste of my time. I said as I watched him get lost in my eyes. Surely, he will never forget them. You are not the prize. You have no idea what the prize is. You are just a messenger. I’m not going to kill you because I need you to deliver a simple message.

And, what message is that? I—I’m listening.

You ask that question with fear in your voice. Your voice was not fearful just an hour ago. It was smug and condescending. Before I give you instructions on what message I want you to deliver, I want to tell you a quick story. You reminded me of someone.

I remind you of someone? Could this all be some sort of mistake?

No, it’s not a mistake. You can loosen that damn tie a little. You look a little red in the face. It’s actually a dream I had. It was quite real though

With sweat beading up on his forehead, he took a hard swallow, then asked his question.

OK, what was your dream?

I was at this bar. I was by myself. I wasn’t bothering anybody and I wasn’t trying to socialize. I went in for a burger and beer. I love Stella...what about you? You are probably too much of a refined candy ass to enjoy a beer.

N—no, not at all. I enjoy Stella too. Probably more of a Blue Moon fan myself.

Don’t make me change my mind and kill you right now...Anyway, I’m sitting in a booth behind this young guy and his girl, or whoever the hell she was. She said a few words here and there, mostly agreeing with shit she probably didn’t even care about. He went on and on about college and all of his lawyer and doctor friends. He even told her he didn’t hang out with any guys that made less than $500,000 a year. Can you believe that? He was completely obnoxious. She wasn’t really impressed. She was faking it. He was a low-class piece of shit hiding behind a suit. The more I listened, the more pissed off I got. That’s when it hit me.

And, what was it t—that hit you?

That he was going to die......that night.

O...ok. But, this was just a dream. What about me reminds you of this guy?

It reminds me that I made a mistake.

Look at this asshole sweat. Go ahead and ask that last question.

What mistake did you make?

Saying that I wouldn’t kill you!

CHAPTER ONE

Bully No More

I JUST WANNA GET TODAY over with. I hate this stupid class. I don’t think Mrs. Erickson really likes us. She never stays in the room. She’s never here when dumb ass Ronnie hits me with spit balls or tells me how much I stink. The other kids always laugh whenever he does something to me, or tells his stupid jokes. Out of all the kids he could mess with, it’s something about me that makes him want to keep......I just hate him. I hope these last few months go by quick. I’m glad we won’t be going to the same high school.

OK, class. Use this last 15 minutes to read over chapter 18, said Mrs. Erickson, as she walked back into the classroom. And, make sure you take good notes. The quiz is tomorrow.

After making it through her boring class, I dreaded walking home. I heard Ronnie wasn’t take the bus today. I wish I didn’t get so sick riding with all those other kids. Mom said I’ll grow out of my claustrophobia. I was almost halfway home when I heard his voice. It made my stomach knot up.

HEY, STINK ASS. Wait up, he said loudly almost half a block away. I got a message for you.

I wanted to run, but it wouldn’t do any good. I will still she him tomorrow and every other school day until summer break. I’m so tired of running. I’m tired of getting punched, kicked, and spit on. I’m tired of being scared.

It doesn’t really help with him having three other boys with him. I recognize them, but don’t know their names. He probably just brought them along so they could laugh at me, while he did whatever.

I slowed down my pace so he could catch up with me. And, just like always, he came up right in my face.

Why do you walk so fast? Ronnie asked as the other three boys snickered. You stank bad enough without sweating. And why are you sweating? You smell like musty dog nuts.

As he turned around to the other three boys, they are nearly in tears from laughing at me. Laughing at my humiliation.

Come on, Ronnie. I was just going home. I’m not messing with anybody. I just...

"Come on, Ronnie. I was just going home. I’m not messing with anybody, he mocked. I got a question for you, Brian."

Wow, that’s the first time he called me by my real name. I didn’t think he even knew it.

O—OK, Ronnie. What the question?

Was that your mom here yesterday meeting with Mrs. Rodehauser?

Yes. That was my mom.

I knew it. Damn, your mama is NICE, he said, using his hands to air draw an hour glass figure. The other boys did the same thing.

I wasn’t about to say thank you. I was instantly pissed. I hate when guys see my mother. I hate what they say about her.

OK, Brian. I got another question.

What is it? I said reluctantly.

What size bra does your mama wear? Those things are huge.

I couldn’t believe he just asked me that. I was so pissed off. I balled up my right hand against my side. I was sick of them laughing and pointing at me. I was ready to...

Her titties look really heavy, Ronnie continued. I’d love to...

I snapped. I couldn’t hear anything. I couldn’t see anything, other than complete darkness. I didn’t realize that I had my combination lock clenched in my right hand as I swung as hard as I could.

It took me a moment to realize that Ronnie was lying on the ground in front me, holding his mouth and screaming. I saw some of his teeth on the ground next to his face. The other three boys ran off. After looking around, so did I.

I thought that day would be the end of it. No more bullying from Ronnie, and hopefully no one else. Maybe, finally. I could start getting some respect. I guess I was too young to know that things like what happened today just don’t end. Revenge usually comes next.

CHAPTER TWO

Dental Bills

Ronnie never came back to school. I heard his parents worked out something to homeschool him for the rest of the semester. I guess I really did a job on his mouth. I really didn’t mean to do that. My friend Crystal told me that he lost 4 teeth and had to have some kind of special retainer to fill in for the missing one’s.

I think, quietly, I had earned some respect. They didn’t bother me anymore. Neither did any of the other boys at school. And, if they had something to say about me, it was behind my back. I’m not sure if that’s really better, but if I don’t know about it, who cares.

It was about two weeks since that fight with Ronnie, if you could call it that. I thought everything was over. I was so wrong.

Later that afternoon

Hey, honey. I’m thinking about pepper steak for dinner tonight. How does that sound? My mom asked my dad.

Pepper steak sounds good, he replied. I bought some rice last week, so you won’t have to worry about that.

OK, good. I will be home soon.

Which store are you going to?

The Food Emporium. And, before you say anything, I’m just going to run in and out. I know you don’t like that store. But, I just love their meat.

Just be careful, OK?

Don’t worry. Me and Lil Brian will be just fine.

Just like mom told dad, we were in and out. Mom is a really smart shopper. She finds deals all the time for me and dad. As we were on our way to the car, this red jeep pulls up on mom’s side. She had just unlocked the doors with the remote, when..."

BITCH, if you or your son screams, I will kill y’all asses right here.

My mom looked over at me. I never saw that look on her face before. She looked so scared. But, so was I. The man jumped out of his jeep and made me and my mom get in. We left our car right there. I was still holding on to the two grocery bags. It happened so fast. No one was in the parking lot to see us.

He made her drive, while he sat in the backseat with me. He had a gun pointed to my head.

Please, mister. If it’s money you want, you can take my purse. You can have anything in it you want.

I don’t want your fuckin purse, bitch. Just drive.

My mom was trying her best to make him stop what he was about to do. He just wouldn’t listen. She was crying so hard, the car started swerving a little.

You betta drive this goddamn car straight, yelled the man. If we get pulled over, we all die today. Now, turn right at the next fuckin corner.

My mother did what he asked. I was shaking and sweating. I was too scared to cry, because I didn’t want anything to happen to mom. The man looked over at me, gun still pointed to my head.

What the fuck you shakin for, you smelly lil bitch? You weren’t sweatin that bad two weeks ago were you?

Two weeks ago!? What is this man talking about? I just kept my eyes straight, staring at the back of mom’s head. He made us stop by some railroad tracks. It was so quiet. There was no one else anywhere around.

He made us both get out of the jeep and stand in front of it. The sun was starting to go down, but you could still see everything.

Excuse me, mister...sir. Can I speak? asked my mom.

Make it real quick, he said. We got some business to take care of.

I looked up at mom and she looked down at me. A tear from her cheek dropped onto my forehead, as she hugged me tighter than she ever had.

I will do whatever you need me to do. May I please ask that you spare my son? Please don’t hurt my baby.

The man looked at her, then looked at me. It was kind of hard to see his eyes with his hat pulled down so low.

You know what? Yeah, that’ll work. Come here lil musty bitch. I want you to see something.

My mom held on to me tighter

Look, last chance if you want me to let him go. Get your ass over here, NOW!

She released me and I walked over to him. He reached into his pants pocket and took something out that looked kinda familiar.

You remember this? he asked.

As I looked closer, my eyes got real wide, when I saw it was a combination lock. It had blood on it and I knew who it belonged to. Now I knew what he meant when he said two weeks ago. This is the lock I dropped when I hit Ronnie in the mouth. But, why does he have it?

I see you remember this lock, he said. This little piece of shit lock costs me over $7000.00 in emergency dental bills. I had to sell my boat to come up with most of the money and went broke comin up with the rest. My wife left me over this bullshit.

Mister, I don’t understand. What’s going on? asked mom. What does this lock have to do with my son?

He turned and looked at me like he was even more disgusted. He was looking at me the way Ronnie used to. Now I know where he gets it from.

You kept that little secret to yourself? Wow, you fuckin lil bitch.

I looked back at my mom. She was so confused. I was hoping she could always be that way. There was no reason for her to know. I didn’t want to explain to her and dad about being bullied at school. They had enough stuff to worry about without adding something else. Besides, I really didn’t wanna get in trouble for fighting.

You are right, miss. You don’t understand.

He walked up to my mom and held the lock up in her face.

"Your son sucker punched my son after school a couple of weeks ago with this padlock hidden in his hand. My son had to go through 3 fuckin surgeries to make his shit right again.

He came runnin in the house with blood drippin all over the place. He had the teeth that this lil bitch knocked out in his hand. He took this lock from his pocket. It looks the same as it did that day. The more he bled, the more money I lost. The more my life became more and more fucked up.

I’m so sorry, mister, said my mom. Whatever you had to spend, I’m sure my husband and I can work it out with you. Please trust me when I tell you that we will take care of this right away. I don’t understand any of this. Sucker punched with a lock!? I just don’t understand, she said looking at me.

You don’t understand, miss? You don’t understand any of this? YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY FUCKIN THING I SAID? This is a SUCKER PUNCH!

Ronnie’s dad cocked his fist and swung at my mom, hitting her right in the mouth. She fell down so fast. There was blood everywhere.

MOM! I screamed.

Scream one more time lil bitch and I will make her really suffer. Go, and you better run fast. You can get help for your mommy, but if you ever say it was me, I will kill your whole family. Now, get the fuck outta here.

I looked down at my mom. She wasn’t moving. I was so scared. I didn’t know if he killed her, or if she was just unconscious. I didn’t want to leave her, but he was way bigger than me and he had a gun. I was hoping he kept his word and wouldn’t do anything more to her. I didn’t kill Ronnie, I just messed up his mouth a little bit. And, he just did that to my mom. OH GOD I’m so sorry mom. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry.

If I have to tell your lil ass again, He said walking towards me.

I turned around and ran as fast as I could. I didn’t know where I was, so I just kept running. I must have gone a couple of blocks to the right of where we were easily. I finally saw a car coming. I ran out in the street right in front of it. A lady jumped out and ran over to me. I told her what happened and that mom needed help. She told me to jump in.

We were right down the street from a payphone. I was giving her directions, which she gave to the cops. We then hurried back to mom. She was driving as fast as she could. She really wanted to help us.

When we got there, I saw mom laying down on the ground.

MOM!? I’m back. I got us some help. I’m sorry it took so long. Are you OK?

CHAPTER THREE

No Rest

I’M OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND everything that’s happening right now, but I think I’m too young to be going through it. The weather this week has been the nicest we’ve had in a long time, they say. But, I can’t feel any sun shining on me and I don’t care about being outside anymore.

This has been the worst week of my life. I’m so mad at God right now. He already had enough people. Why did he have to take you, mom? Why do I have to sit here and stare at this stupid blue box? Move those dumb flowers out of the way and let my mom come back.

I did everything I could to get back to you. I did everything I could to help, mom. I heard dad talking to the policemen. They told him there was no evidence anywhere. I’m not surprised. He was wearing rubber gloves the whole time. I hate that I had to lie about everything. I told the police that I couldn’t see anything because he had a gun to my head. I hope they can find out who did this another way.

Mom, I don’t know how me and dad are going to be able to make it without you. Yeah, dad can cook and do other stuff, but not like you. He doesn’t care how I’m going to wear my hat this winter. You always made sure it was pulled down just right and straightened up on my head. He will take me to soccer practice, but he won’t be there screaming like you did whenever I made a goal. It’s just too many things you need a mom for...a mom like you.

I know you’re going to heaven, but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to visit you. I think God is mad at me, because I’m mad at him for taking you. I guess I must stop being mad first.

I saw dad cry for the first time a couple of days ago. He thought I was upstairs sleeping. He took out that old bottle of wine from the cabinet that you two were saving, and opened it. He poured it into two different glasses. He only drank from one, so I think the other was for you. He was sitting there holding on to your wedding picture. I think dad needs me to be strong. He needs someone to take care of him too. Mom, please come back......please!

One week later

I asked my dad today if I could start calling him pops. He asked me why. I told him I thought it sounded cool. He smiled and told me yes. It was the same thing he used to call his dad. Since that night, pops had been nervous. He keeps his eyes on me all the time. He told me he would take and pick me up from school from here on out. He won’t admit it, but I know he’s worried that whoever killed mom might come back to silence me. I wish I could tell him that he had nothing to worry about.

I’m so glad the number of people in and out of this house has dropped. I was getting sick of all those loud perfume ladies hugging me. I think pops was too, especially since most of them were from mom’s side of the family. Everyone on that side of the family likes to touch, kiss, and hug.

Pops gave me mom’s prayer necklace. It is a little silver cube about the size of a dime. It’s attached to a black leather necklace. Mom used to write things she needed help with from God on small pieces of paper. She folded them up into itsy bitsy pieces and put them in the small box. She wore it around her neck and never took it off. It’s too bad she didn’t put a prayer in there that would stop her from dying.

I keep the prayer box and necklace under my bed in my comic book box. Yesterday, I made up a special prayer and put it inside the box. I’m not sure if it will ever be answered, but just in case, I will make sure it happens.

Mom, I know you are not resting in peace yet. One day, I’m going to fix that.

CHAPTER FOUR

Leaving it Behind

IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS since we buried mom. I’m tired of hearing people say everyday gets a little better. There is no such thing as better and never will be. I hate Ronnie and I hate his dad. I’m going to find a way to hurt them bad. I will never forgive them, especially his father. He’s walking around here free. Nobody knows anything about that night but me. I’m not going to tell anyone either. I don’t want to cause any trouble for pops. Plus, I want to deal with this on my own.

It seemed like minutes turned into hours so fast. All I wanted to do was stay in my room and stare at the ceiling. Maybe, if I stared hard enough, I could see through it and into heaven where mom was.

I was finally about to get up when pops dropped by

Son, I need to speak with you, pops said while knocking on my door. He sounded urgent.

It’s unlocked. You can come in. He walked in with his head sunk. I knew something had happened. Did someone else die?

Son, explain this to me, he asked as he tossed me a piece of balled up paper.

What’s this, pops?

Well, I asked you first. Open it and read it. When I was combining trash last night, your bag wasn’t completely closed, and trash went all over the floor.

Sorry about that.

No problem about that, but I do have one about that piece of paper.

I opened it up and instantly wanted to go and hide somewhere. I don’t know why I put that in the trash. I shouldn’t have written it.

It’s hard to explain. I want mom back, don’t you? She should be here right now. No one should have had to die like that. Not my mom. Somebody has to pay for this, pops.

He sat down on the bed beside me. "Let me tell you what happened to me that night. You and your mom were supposed to go to the grocery store to pick up a few items. She was making pepper steak for dinner. Two hours later I started to get worried. I started making calls to her sister and few friends, hoping you two stopped by for a quick visit, but nothing. Three hours later and I knew something was wrong. I was about to leave the house to start looking for you both, when I heard the knock at the door.

"When I walked towards the door, I felt sick to my stomach. I lost my balance for second and had to grab on to the chair. In the window next to the door, you could see the slow blue and red flashes. As much as I prayed it was you and your mother, I knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good. When I opened the door, I saw two grim faces. They asked to come in. I couldn’t talk, I just pointed towards the living room.

"I regained my composure and asked them the question before they could volunteer any information. I asked them if it was about my wife and son. I was so scared. As much as I wanted them to answer my question, I didn’t want them to move their lips, because I knew their mouths wouldn’t form the words I wanted to hear. I couldn’t breathe when they told me what happened to my dear wife and your loving mother. I haven’t breathed right since that day. The only thing that kept me going and gave me hope, was that my son made it...my son was alive.

I’m angry too. I’m heartbroken. There is nothing that will ever replace the void left by no longer having your mother here...for either of us. But, we have each other and we will rebuild and move forward.

But, pops, the person that did this has to pay.

And guess what? They will pay. Whether, they ever see the inside of a jail, or not, they will eventually pay for their sins. Vengeance and hate will consume you quickly when you allow your mind to think and write things like this. I wouldn’t be able to take it if something happened to you. The feelings that you have are quite natural, because I had them to at first. But, I know what the reality is. Hate won’t bring her back, but love and time will allow us to put this behind us so we can move forward.

So, you’re saying just forget mom?

No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I think we need to celebrate your mom’s beautiful spirit each and every day. The best way to celebrate it, is to do our best to live a life filled with love and abundance. I know that’s what she would have wanted.

We sat there on my bed and talked for another couple of hours. I think it was good for both of us to share some stories about mom. I even learned some great things that I never knew about her. I’m going to do my best to move past this, but deep down, I still want them to pay.

CHAPTER FIVE

My Own Man

Iwas always in such a hurry to get school over with. I felt like I rushed through middle school, but high school? You might as well say I was on auto-pilot. I hated being called a nerd, but I accepted it.

It wasn’t so much that I was this huge bookworm, it was more so that I already had my plans laid out. I know what I wanted to do with myself long-term. Outside of my best friend, Wesley Wilkerson, I stayed to myself.

For exercise, I loved to run. If I wanted to, I could have joined the track team. I thought about it for a minute and quickly talked myself out of it. I think I enjoyed running outside, where I could pick my destination and just go. I ran 3-5 miles a day during junior and senior year. I never paid attention to my time or how fast I was going. For me, it was more about taking in all the details...every last detail.

When I ran, my surroundings were like a crime scene and I was like a forensic investigator. I could see, feel, and hear things that others couldn’t. I could listen to a car breeze by and tell how many revolutions per minute the motor was running. I could see through the shallowness of people and know when they were being genuine. I could feel the pain of the person walking on the opposite side of the street.

These years have blown by for me and my pops. He worries that I don’t get enough social interaction, but he is proud of me for what I’ve been able to do academically. I maintained a 4.0 throughout high school and blew the ACT out of the water. I had one of the highest scores in the country and the highest of any student ever to attend my school. I applied to MIT, Stanford, University of Cambridge, and Harvard. I only applied at Harvard just to say I was accepted there. And wouldn’t you know it, I received acceptance letters and a full-ride scholarship to anyone of them that I chose. MIT would be the natural choice for most, as I was an aspiring engineering student, but I never cared about the norms. I settled on the University of Cambridge. I wanted a complete change of scenery. I wanted to leave the US.

Pops wasn’t enthused about me leaving the country, but he couldn’t have been prouder. He and I had been through a lot since mom’s death. I’m not sure if I