Big Fangs
By Elias Zapple
()
About this ebook
Elias Zapple
Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop. After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again. Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe. Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset; having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark. Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.
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Book preview
Big Fangs - Elias Zapple
Nicu – The Littlest Vampire
In
‘Big Fangs’
Book Two
By
Elias Zapple
Copyright
© Elias Zapple, 2014
Illustrated by
Reimarie Cabalu
Disclaimer
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons or vampires, living or dead or undead, is purely coincidental.
Dedication
For
Danger Mouse
Contents
Title
Copyright
Disclaimer
Dedication
Chapter One - Pride and Prejudice
Chapter Two - With A Little Help From My Friends
Chapter Three - Family Ties
Chapter Four - Open Your Eyes
Chapter Five - David and Goliath
Chapter Six - Hysteric
Chapter Seven - Thank Your Lucky Stars
Chapter Eight - Crime and Punishment
Chapter Nine - Tears of a Clown
Who is Elias Zapple?
Also by Elias Zapple
A Request from Elias Zapple
Chapter One
Pride and Prejudice
Nicu stood in the lounge of his crooked haunted house, where cobwebs drooped in each corner and lit candles hung on the walls. Dust covered the worn furniture – dust so thick it would’ve been hazardous to any human being. Nicu looked in the mirror but didn’t admire himself. Of course there was no reflection, as Nicu’s a vampire and vampires have no reflections. Instead, Nicu imagined how he looked, and in particular his brand new set of fangs. He felt his fangs with his stubby thumb, a smile growing upon his face like an elastic band being stretched in a smiley-like way.
Before he had gotten his fangs, Nicu had been a rather poor 9 year-old vampire, as not only had he been fangless but he was short, much shorter than most 9 year-olds as a matter of fact, and as podgy as a mini version of Father Christmas. However, now that he had his fangs he was only podgy and short, one less thing to have to deal with. He still dressed in shorts, a white shirt and a black cape with his family’s insignia on it, as was the custom for child vampires.
As he stood there, his spiky-haired, older brother Adam came skateboarding in, stopping just before Nicu then flipping his skateboard up right in Nicu’s face. If Nicu had skateboarded in the house his parents would’ve told him off